Devotional-122210 Thoughts on Psalm 3

A Psalm of David: When he fled from his son Absalom.

1 LORD, how many are my foes! How many rise up against me! 

2 Many are saying of me, “God will not deliver him.”
3 But you, LORD, are a shield around me, my glory, the One who lifts my head high. 

4 I call out to the LORD, and he answers me from his holy mountain.
5 I lie down and sleep; I wake again, because the LORD sustains me. 
6 I will not fear though tens of thousands assail me on every side.
7 Arise, LORD! Deliver me, my God! 
Strike all my enemies on the jaw; break the teeth of the wicked.
8 From the LORD comes deliverance. May your blessing be on your people.

I read this passage this morning and thought to myself, “I really don’t have ‘thousands of people assailing me,’” at least none to my knowledge. I could imagine David’s heartbreak when he was crying out to the Lord for deliverance from his enemies with the additional pain of his son Absalom trying to kill him. I can’t relate to this specific situation (although I believe my son, when I have him, will eventually kill me) so I tried contextualizing the passage for myself.

Now we don’t have many “foes” today unless you’re a gang-member, in which case you have bigger problems. But I like to look at different circumstances and situations that cause me to be distracted from truly trusting in the Lord completely. I stress out about having a mortgage now. What’s the big deal? The Lord has faithfully provided for me my entire life. Is He really going to stop now? I stress out about eventually becoming a father and thinking about how badly I’m going to mess up my kids. What’s the big deal? My buddy Bryan has a 4th child coming and he's doing alright. I’m afraid my Lakers won’t 3-peat because up to this point of the season they stink. What’s the big deal? They do this every year only to turn it on in the playoffs. And what are the chances of Phil Jackson NOT 3-peating? I think you get the point.

These things are “foes” in my mind. Foes that battle my faith in the Lord. But as David said, “Strike all my enemies on the jaw” (v. 7). I love that part! It’s not only “Lord deliver me from my enemies and also kick their @$$.” I’m not saying that David was in the right frame of mind when he said this nor am I condoning "striking people on the jaw" but the main point is clear. Namely, “from the Lord comes deliverance” and all the self-afflicting anxiety I give myself or the lies from the enemy whispered into my ear that I’m tempted to believe will be defeated by God’s overwhelming blessings and goodness.

God’s overwhelming blessings and goodness: In a time when it has become difficult for many people finically He’s given both my wife and I good jobs. I have the most beautiful and loving wife in the world, married into a crazy but yet amazing family, a great church, a growing Grace Group (home bible study), friends who are like brothers, Laker season tickets, semi-obedient dogs, a great little sister, and a wonderful home with a great master bathroom. Yes, I think it’s time to take those anxieties and “strike them on the jaw.”

"Better a God whose mystery we cannot understand (but who has given us grounds for trusting when we cannot understand) than one whose adequacy we cannot rely on, or whose interest we cannot be sure of."
- John Goldingay

House Sweet House

It has been said, “Home is where the heart is.” That may be true but your heart can’t shield you from the elements, gang members, wild dogs, ninjas, midgets, and sharks. So even though a “home” is an abstract idea beyond physical components you still need a house (or a place of shelter) in order to live. I wish this were not the case because houses are expensive (especially in Southern California, you know, the place I am living in).

After meticulously saving like crazy and my mother leaving me a small portion of her estate, the wife and I recently purchased a house (in Southern California, no less). It was exciting when we initially started looking for a house. Over time, it became less and less exciting. Actually, it became so frustrating for me that I was ready to build my own house. But if you want a house you need to go through the process. There’s no way around it. Unless you’re rich and price is a non-issue, it’s going to be a difficult process trying to find a place both you and your spouse like and find a place within the price range you’re comfortable with. I’ll give you a wild guess on who was on the lower end of the price range.

The Kitchen:

The wife wanted a kitchen with lots of counter and cupboard space. What do I care about the kitchen? I only go in there to get something to drink or rummage through the cupboard looking for a snack and frustratingly failing in that attempt. The wife told me that she cooks all the dinners, which I happily eat, in the kitchen. So if I want to continue eating those dinners I better get a house with a nice kitchen. Fair enough.

The Yard:

The wife also wanted a yard because of the dogs (that’s right, dogssssssssssss). I can’t believe that we are shopping for a house and keeping the dogs in mind. Dogs? Dogs! Dogs. Not in a hundred years I would’ve thought this. Samson (Boxer) keeps digging up the backyard. I tell him that there's nothing back there but apparently he doesn't believe me.

The Man Cave:

The only thing that was important to me, regarding the house, was that I would have a Man Cave. You know, a place where I could put my Kobe autographed shoes. The MC would be a place of studying God’s word, prayer, mediation, and the watching of Laker games.

The Old Neighborhood:

Now I’m extremely thankful for the father-in-law (aka The Racquetball Brawler) for renting out his old house to us. However, the neighborhood where we lived was awful. First, the street was as thin as Nicole Richie. I think it was built in 1809. You’d be lucky if two Priuses could drive by each other on that street. Secondly, the city of Whittier does not allow dogs in their parks. Really?! I don’t like cities that hate on dogs. It’s okay if I do but an entire city? Also, there are so many trees that are destroying the foundation of streets and homes that it’s down right hazardous to simply walk down the street. Don’t get me wrong. I’m all for aesthetics but not at the expense of safety and functionality.

Finally, our next-door neighbor was a drugged-out-pot-smoking-inconsiderate-inheritance-blowing-burn-out who did strange things. For example, he would leave his diesel truck idling for 20 minutes in the driveway. It would drive the dog and me nuts. He would mow the lawn at 2am, listen to rock music from his truck at full-blast at 11pm, and refused to trim his trees even though they were destroying the foundation of The Racquetball Brawler’s driveway. Yes, he’s a real winner. Interestingly, the drugged-out-pot-smoking-inconsiderate-inheritance-blowing-burn-out who did strange things got evicted right when we were moving. Great timing.

Furthermore, the apartments down the street had “shady” written all over them. There were cops parked on the street just observing the place because they knew something was going on (e.g., drug activity, gangs, etc.). Every now and then, the apartments (aka Shady A-part) would blast ganger-rap, which dropped F-bombs left and right. I don’t want my dogs picking up that kind of language. I think you get the point. We’re happy to be moving.

The New Neighborhood:

It’s only been a few weeks but the new neighborhood seems really nice. The wife likes it and that’s always a plus. Every house on the block is well kept and the people seem nice. No ganger-rap at full-blast dropping F-bombs, yet. Also, every house seems to have dogs. So I’m guessing the neighbor, in general, likes dogs. The other day I was walking the dogs and I heard a gentlemen yelling at his dogs because they were being disobedient. It looks like I’ll be getting along with the people around here since we seem to have the same bitter/sweet relationship with our dogs.

Upgrades:

I take that back, The Man Cave is not the ONLY thing important to me. I wanted a house that was already fully upgraded (e.g., new kitchen, new bathroom, new man cave, etc.). This was important for no other reason than that I didn’t want to put in the work to upgrade that stuff myself. The good news with this house is that both the wife and I liked the upgrades. Sweet! I’m always excited about less work. The father-in-law is completely different. He would rather buy a fixer-upper and upgrade everything himself. I don’t even like painting. Hey, speaking of painting . . .

After we bought the house the wife immediately wanted to paint. I thought the house was fine the way it was (because I don’t like to work or paint). Interestingly, all the women I told said, “Of course you have to paint.” And all the dudes said “Sorry man, painting sucks.” Yes it does.

Unless the color is bright pink or vomit green, I really don’t care what color it is. But the reason why women need to paint is because you buy them a house but they need to make it a home. Actually, I’m convinced that even if a woman likes the original colors of a house she would buy the same colors and paint over it anyway just to say that she was the one that picked out the colors.

On a more serious note, I see this house as a huge blessing from the Lord. It’s a life stage that felt so far away for me and now it’s here. I recently attended a Men’s Breakfast at my church and sat at table where we talked about mortgage rates. Mortgage rates?! Baffling. I turned to my buddy Chris Hunt and said, “When we were going through grad school did you ever think we would be talking about mortgage rates?” He simply replied, “No.”

It all feels like growing up. Although you don’t need a house for maturation, it’s still a surreal feeling because I realize how much of an idiot I am. Here’s a story to illustrate my point: My mom had some exotic birds as pets when I was in high school. She had to leave for about a month on a business trip in Thailand and left me responsible or feeding the birds. You know where this is going. Simply put, the birds didn’t make it by the time my mom got back from her trip.

Despite all that, the Lord has entrusted me with a beautiful wife and now a lovely home (I’m not counting the dogs). I’m not sure why He would bless me in such a generous fashion. If He’s anything like me, it’s probably because He thinks it would be funny. Outside of that, there are only two reasons I could think of. First, God is good. It’s that simple. Second, with these wonderful blessings in my life, there is a sense of responsibility to be a good husband and a responsible homeowner to His glory.

We hope to use the house to bless others and glorify God in the process, starting with get-togethers for Laker games. After that I’m all out of ideas but I’m sure the wife will think of some good things.

Good Riddance Indeed

It’s official. The Sasha Vujacic Era is over. As most of you know, I’m a Laker fan and have been ever since I realized that every fatherless boy needs heroes. Despite being a hardcore Laker fan, I can tell you with every fiber in my being that I hated Sasha Vujacic. Hated. I don’t like to throw the word “hate” around very often because I believe it to be a strong word, which shouldn’t be used loosely. Here is my running list of things I hate (in no particular order):

Traffic
Slow internet
Busy work (i.e., education classes, any reason to go to the DMV, etc.)
Every form of evil
Sasha Vujacic

You could see that the list isn’t very long. I don’t even have any ex-girlfriends on the list. For right now lets focus on the Sasha Era. The 27th pick in the 2004 draft from Yugoslavia came into the league with potential. He didn’t play much his rookie year but worked his way into the rotation his 2nd year, being a scrappy defender and decent long-range shooter.

As time passed, Sasha never seemed like he was learning the game of basketball or displayed any type of common sense. He would D-up his player 90 feet from the basket as though he was trying out for Compton Dominguez High School never realizing, “Hey this is the NBA and every starting PG for every team could beat me easily 90 feet away from the basket so maybe I should back up.” If they kept a stat of fouls 90 feet from the basket, I know that Sasha would be the all-time leader in a landslide. Moreover, when Sasha would complain about foul calls he looked exactly like a third-grade girl who was just given a Time-Out (This year’s soccer-girl hair do didn’t help shake that image). It’s as if he never learned the rules of basketball.

I remember taking my buddy Tyson to a Lakers vs. Kings game when M. Bibby was still playing for the Kings. It was a tight game until the 4th quarter when they put Sasha in to guard Bibby. Bibby is a vet who knows all the tricks. Sasha played defense 90 feet from the basket and you wouldn’t believe what happened next . . . wait for it . . . he fouled Bibby. That’s not even the worst part, he kept fouling Bibby in the backcourt, got us in the penalty, and Bibby nailed the game shut with free throws. Everybody in the crowd was in disbelief that a professional basketball player kept making the same mistake over and over and over again never realizing that maybe, just maybe, he should try something different. I could tell you countless stories like this but I think you get the picture. Here's a great article by Kevin Ding from OC Register.

In 2008 (Sasha’s contract year) he played had his best season: Games played 72, FG% 45, 3P% 43, FT% 83, PPG 9 while playing about 18 mpg. Not bad. During the summer, while negotiating a new contract, Sasha complained about not getting enough money and years and even threatened to play in Europe if he didn’t get the contract he wanted. Remember that this was the summer after Sasha gave Ray Allen a lay-up in Game 4 of the Finals that killed our chances of winning the title that year. When asked during the post-game why he didn’t foul, he replied, “I was scared.” After the Lakers gave him 3yrs for about $15M, his game just went into the toilet (I wish someone gave me $15M to be scared to do my job). I can't stand players who after they get a contract their game goes into the toilet.

Here are his numbers the following two years:

2008-2009: Games played 80, FG% 38, 3P% 36, FT% 92, PPG 6 while playing about the same amount of minutes in 2008 (He didn’t score a point in the 2009 Finals).

2009-2010: Games played 67, FG% 40, 3P% 30, FT% 84, PPG 3 while playing 8mpg.

Yes, I will say that Sasha hit the biggest free throws in Laker history in Game 7 of the 2010 Finals. But considering that he complained loudly about his contract, lost count of how many games he cost us, and had an un-teachable attitude, that’s the least he could’ve done.

I’m currently starting a poll at work with how long it takes for Maria Sharapova to call off the engagement. The current over/under is three months. Once the trade was reported I got some text messages and Facebook postings saying, “Good riddance” and “Finally, we got rid of him.” These were from fellow Laker fans as well (The deal saves the Lakers about $9M).

I do have to admit, Sasha did make attending Laker games a lot more fun because I would always start a “We-hate-Sas-ha” chant with the boys in section 303. Every time he checked into the game we would boo him. But since he hardly played anymore I had to give all my boos during the pre-game warms up when Sasha would pop-up on the Jumbo-Tron. That’s the part of Sasha I’m going to miss the most. No matter who we were playing we always had a villain, even though it was in-house.

So let me be one of the millions of Laker fans who say, “So long” into oblivion. Pencil me in for the Jan 14 game vs. the Nets. I can’t miss an opportunity to boo Sasha one last time because he’ll be playing in Turkey next year (and no longer engaged to Maria Sharapova).

And I'll leave you with one of my favorite Sasha moments, which almost cost us game 6 of the 2010 Western Conference Finals:

Sickness Stinks!!!

I used to pride myself for never getting sick. I haven’t taken a day off for sickness yet. However, this past week a sickness hit me like a freight train. I felt like there was a Pearl Jam concert inside, it was difficult to focus, and I spent most of the night coughing like Doc Holiday.

What made this worse was that my head was hurting so much I couldn’t even read. I couldn’t work out and I had to miss a basketball tournament this weekend. It’s difficult when I don’t have a productive day, even worse if I don’t have a productive week. Life is short and I don’t have time to get sick (or so I think). Sickness stinks! But it happens to all of us.

Here’s the thing, we’re not promised the next day. We’re not even promised good health. So when we feel like all our molecules are going to explode into oblivion we should be mindful that the days of health are a gift to us. What are we going to do with that gift?

I’m going to remember this terrible week of illness. Not because I haven’t been this sick in years but because it’s a good reminder that everyday is a gift from the Lord. The next time I feel lazy about working out, walking the dogs, or doing anything productive I want to remember this week that was lost to sickness and say to myself, “Do it now or you might not be able to do it later, jerkface!!!” That’s good advice.

The Voyage of the Dawn Jammer

I have to admit, the title cracks me up. Having just finished the book and with the movie coming out next month, I couldn’t resist. I thought the book was okay. In any Narnia book by C.S. Lewis you simply have to recognize the symbolism. There were plenty in “The Voyage of the Dawn Treader,” although, referring to the books, I enjoyed “The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe"” and “Prince Caspian" much better.

In any case, I didn’t really want to talk about the book or the movie (although I plan to see it once it hits the dollar show). I wanted to talk about a discussion we had at my Grace Group (Home Bible Study) last night.

Kenny Clark preached this past week and used an analogy of the rearview mirror, symbolizing the things Jesus saved us from, and the windshield, symbolizing the things Jesus saved us for. We actually took that analogy and each of us started writing down the things Jesus saved us from and what Jesus saved us for.

As you could imagine, the list on my rearview mirror was quite extensive. Actually, it didn’t even fit (although I did have a small piece of paper). Some of the people in my Grace Group became Christians when they were young children and can’t even imagine life without Christ, which I think is a beautiful testimony. Since I became a Christian in high school and didn’t really feel the affects until late high school, I could easily envision my life without Christ as it was.

My rearview mirror had in it things like, self, bitterness, depression, meaningless, bad company, bad girlfriend(s), bad relationships and an extremely destructive lifestyle of complete indulgence. Picture the parable of the Prodigal Son but the son never returning to his father. Yes, that would be me. It was a little depressing thinking about it. Although I’m thankful Jesus saved me from that road, it still weighs heavily on my soul to think about those days and what easily “could’ve been” (details notwithstanding).

However, once I started on the windshield portion of the exercise, I began listing what Jesus saved me “for,” which was no surprise, a complete contrast with what He saved me “from.” Namely, He saved me for service to others, peace, joy, purpose, amazing brother-like friends, an amazing wife, a productive member of the community of the redeemed, and a life-style that honors Him (sometimes anyway).

I wanted to take the analogy further and say that we (Christians) are headed towards the Kingdom of God. The closer we get to that destination the more things make sense to us. Also, the closer we get to the Kingdom, the smaller our past sins (and even our present ones) seem to be in the rearview mirror. The vehicle is the church and the fuel is the Holy Spirit (we’re not meant to ride alone). If we focus too much on our past we could stray off course. If we don’t check our rearview once in a while, old vices could sneak back up on us.

Furthermore, it’s Jesus who is doing the driving. We often think we’re driving, however, “a man makes his plan but the Lord directs his steps.” We get in trouble when we try and take the wheel. This analogy gets me excited about the journey.

In the book “The Voyage of the Dawn Treader,” the focus is as much on the journey as it is on the end goal. I’m enjoying my “Voyage of the Dawn Jammer” (this still cracks me up). There are certainly some rough patches along the way but that only makes for a more interesting book.

Here's the trailer of the movie for kicks:

Thankfulness For Thanksgiving

As I was thinking about starting new holiday traditions I thought it would be good to write down all the things I’m thankful for this Thanksgiving. During this time of year, I often think about things to be thankful for but actually writing them down and being more reflective might have more of a lasting impact than just thinking about them passively. So lets get started, shall we? In no particular order (except for #1, thanks to the wife who is editing this):

The wife: I love my wife to no end. That’s why I tolerated painting the new house despite the fact that I don’t like painting (more on this in another blog later). I couldn’t ask for a better wife. She’s beautiful AND smart. Which is obviously important because I can be an idiot most of the time. Basically, she’s a perfect fit for me. That’s not to say we don’t have our disagreements every now and then but you just have to ask yourself, “Who else do I want to work out issues with?” Answer? No one.

In addition, there is also the person(s) I didn't end up with. My buddy Dom and I were discussing how thankful we were of who we didn't end up with when considering all the ex-girlfriends we've had and/or girls who simply rejected us when we were interested. Most of those girls have turned out crazy, quadrupled in size, or would've been terrible fit(s). I guess God does really know what He's doing when providing a wife. Speaking of the wife…

The wife’s family: A few years ago during our communion service at church, one of our pastors asked my father-in-law (aka The Big Boss Man) “How does it feel to have your daughter engaged to Junior?” My father-in-law answered, “He’s an answer to prayer.” That’s right people; I’m an “answer to prayer.” Although I’m pretty sure when The Big Boss Man was praying for his daughter’s future husband he didn’t have a pot-smoking, D-average GPA(ing), street racing dude. It makes me wonder who Becky (the wife's sister) is going to end up with.

However, I’m not thankful for The Big Boss Man only for his free cable TV and his lovely daughter but also because he comes with a wife and therefore I also have a mother-in-law (aka The Mother-In-Law). Having lost my mother a few years ago, the holidays are typically tough. I remember my mom would always get me things that I liked regardless of whether they were healthy for me or not (e.g., Boxes of Snickers, Gatorade, and tons of other junk food). Interestingly, The Mother-In-Law brought home my favorite pie (Pumpkin) the other night and happily showed me knowing that I would destroy it shortly. (Speaking of which, what’s the over/under for full pumpkin pies I will destroy by myself this holiday season? 4.5? 5.5? Let’s settle on 5.0. I’m taking the over, easily.). It was a nice motherly touch that warms the heart.

In any case, being a part of a family has been great. Not only for the fellowship and bonding but also for a place to go watch cable TV without paying for it. I like not paying for stuff.

My Job: I’m grateful that God has provided a job in these hard times. Not everyone is blessed with a job and not everyone is blessed with a teacher’s schedule (e.g., weekends, holidays, and summers off). Yes there are times when I wonder if my students wake up in the morning and say, “What can I do to drive Mr. J up the wall?” Overall, it’s been a good year. The students are learning and they’re growing as little human beings. This isn’t my ideal job but it’s where the Lord currently has me so I’ll continue to put forth my best effort (or at least pretend like I am).

New NBA Season: Need I say more?

Friends: I love these guys. Except Bryan of course.

Church: Before I began attending my church regularly, two of the pastors were already investing into my life during my time at Biola University. They never really had any expectation for me to even start attending their church either. After graduating grad school, the transition made sense. I can’t begin to tell you the amount of healing that’s taken place in my life from past hurts because of the pastors at my church and other members as well. I feel myself getting emotional even as I type this so lets move on.

Food: People who know me well know that I have an unorthodox way of describing good food. I won’t mention how I describe good food here because I would get an earful from the wife (and for good reason). Anyway, I love good food. That doesn’t always mean it’s healthy but I just loooooovvvvvvveeeeeee good food. Since it’s the holiday season families get together and eat tons of good food. The other night I told the wife that when I retire I wanted to take a bath in whip cream. I also want a bowl of strawberries on the side to dip in the bathtub with angel food cake as my pillow. How awesome would that be!?! That’s how much I love food.

It’s the little things in life that you have to be grateful for as well. Food has to be at the top of my list of things we don’t think about that often but make life so much more enjoyable. Speaking of the little things . . .

My Car: I have a 97’ Ford Explorer. I bought it brand new. It is far from brand new now but it’s lasted longer than Hitler’s reign. On my way to night class the other day, however, I was on the freeway going about 65mph and the front left tire decided that it had enough of life and exploded (If you’re not a cop reading this then it was more like 75mph). I guess I’m thankful that I’m still alive.

All the things I’ve mentioned come with the understanding that God is the provider of all these things. Acknowledging that fact is good but living it out in personal holiness and generosity towards others is the ultimate “Thank You” to God.

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

November Rain

Is it November already? Is it early or something? In any case, this November seems a little different than other Novembers in the past. Don’t get me wrong; I’m still excited about the annual release of McDonald’s McRib(s). I’m also excited about the beginning of a new basketball season (4th season as a season ticket holder).

But what makes this November seem a little different to me is a story I shared with a friend from my Grace Group (small home bible study). First let me give some background. I grew up in a broken home without any real assembles of family tradition. The holidays were always miserable to me because it felt like a time when my family were forced to be together when we didn’t really want to be. As I got older the holidays got worst and more depressing.

When I started attending Biola University, it signaled a new season of my life. I had met friends who are closer to me than brothers. My buddy Aaron Brown invited me to the Christmas tree lighting event that Biola holds every year on campus. He was always trying to talk me out of having such a negative attitude towards the holidays. Since I didn't have anything else better to do I decided to go. So there I was with my friends all bundled up, each having their own cup of warm apple cider waiting with child-like anticipation for the lighting of the Christmas tree. Once the tree was lit, I remember having a “There is something right about this” moment and realized that this is what the holidays was suppose to be about. I never shared that story until a couple nights ago. And only now do I realize the significance of it.

It feels great that I could reflect on the painful past and see that God does indeed “turn ashes into beauty.”

Now that I married into an All-American family, I feel ready for make the most out of the holiday season. The wife already said that she wants a “real” Christmas tree this year but that sounds like a lot of work. Not to mention that a fake tree is cheaper, last longer, and is a lot less messy. On the other hand, maybe starting a new era that deeply appreciates the holiday season with a “real” tree would be a good symbol (Of course I say that now but once I’m dragging one into the house I’ll be regretting it).

PS - Thanks Aaron for inviting me that night. Good times.

Buddy’s new buddy

If you remember, my wife wanted a dog. I repeat; my wife wanted “a” dog. Doesn’t the indefinite article “a” mean only one? It certainly implies it, right? I wanted zero dogs, and I made that abundantly clear. The reason being is that I don’t want to put in the work to take care of them. I would rather be wasting my time doing something completely unproductive like trying to get a new high score on Bejeweled.

Anyway, since we got Buddy it has been quite the ride. He’s a playful dog that never barks and is eager to please. Yes I have to walk him every now and then when the wife is busy. I usually just download some John Piper sermons on my iPod and listen to them while I walk the dog. Of course there are those moments that make my blood boil when he’s Exorcist vomiting all over the house, sleeping on the couch, or runs off into the street chasing cats. Not to mention all of the dog food and dog toys we’ve spent money on to keep him alive and happy. I’m not exactly sure if I’d spend this much effort on my own children.

My brother-in-law PJ is being stationed, with his family, in Guam for the next three years. They have a dog (a Boxer) name Samson. They don’t really want to take him on a sixteen-hour flight. Also, in the event that PJ gets called to active duty it would be easier for Ally, his wife, to travel back to the states with only the kids.

Interestingly, my wife approached me recently and said, “Honey, would you want to take Samson for PJ and Ally?” My reply, “Why? I don’t even want our dog.” She responded, “Because they’ve had him since he was a puppy and he was a gift from Ally’s parents (Her dad passed away from cancer not three years ago.). I’m sure it would mean a lot to PJ and Ally if they knew Samson would be taken care of but no pressure. If you don’t want to take him it’s okay.” I thought to myself, “How is that ‘No Pressure?’” My wife should’ve just said, “Honey, you need to take Samson because you’ll look like an A-hole if you don’t.” Fair enough. Although I’m not sure how I got duped into getting two dogs when I didn’t want either one.

I knew that my only escape was going to be that Samson and Buddy wouldn’t get along and they’d try and kill each other. So before committing to a second dog, we decide to have a “road test” by letting Samson stay with us for the week. I just kept thinking, “double the dog food and double the dog feces to pick up. Wonderful, more work.” Truthfully, I was holding out hope that they wouldn’t get along, so I would feel better not taking in Samson.

At first there was hope on that front. Samson decided to pee in Buddy’s food bowl in an attempt to assert himself as the alpha dog. Samson even drank out of the toilet. I told the wife, “See, Buddy’s only going to pick up bad habits from Samson.” Furthermore, we recently got Buddy to stop sleeping on the couch (or so we think). Guess who’s sleeping on the couch now? That’s right, Samson. This is looking promising.

However, things started taking a turn for the worst. The wife started walking them together. No problems. They actually run well together. Interestingly, they even have their sides picked out. They like to be next to each other, but Buddy runs on the right side closest to the wife and Samson runs on the left. If they ever get tangled up or crisscrossed, they can’t continue walking until each one is on the correct side. It’s if as though they made an arrangement. Not only that, but while they’re in the house they wrestle like a couple of brothers quite frequently. When they’re out of breath they both stop, look at each other and agree it’s time for a water break. Then they both happily stroll to the same water bowl and drink out of it like a couple of horses out of a trough. As it turns out, . . . you guessed it . . . they get along. As a result, we now have two dogs. Interesting how life turns out sometimes. Of course I told my wife that if we take a second dog we’d have to put off kids even further. She didn’t buy it. Great. At least the weekend is here.

A Tribute to Aunt Tippy

A month ago I attended my Aunt’s funeral (mother’s sister). As I sat in the chapel with my sister (Vicky) and my cousins, who have just lost their mother, I realize that death is the tragic reminder that something is horribly wrong. My Aunt was actually the first Christian in my family. The Chaplin spoke kind words about my Aunt. Interestingly, there were similar types of stories spoken about my Aunt that were spoken about my mother. The attributes that were emphasized in these stories were kindness, compassion, and a love for others that shined so intensely bright you can’t help but be moved by their mere presences.

Sadly, seeing my cousins and uncle mourn the death my aunt reminded me of what my sister and I recently went through with the death of my mother. Although it brought back ill emotions it also brought back the hope that is in Christ Jesus. Namely, that He has conquered death.

Where, O death, is your victory?
Where, O death, is your sting?
1 Cor. 15:55 – NIV

Being on the brink of death is the closest a person could be between this life and the eternal. Jesus took the bitter taste of death. He fought it for three days and three nights and resurrected in eternal victory. If you live long enough you’ll lose loved ones. That’s the way it is in a fallen world. However, the theological truth of Christ’s resurrection gives me the boldness and confidence to stare death in the face and hold my ground. Though my life may be taken, I shall fear no evil.

In her last days, my aunt was in a lot of pain. However, she never stopped smiling and telling the people around her how much she loved them. The intense pain was not enough to take away the joy that was set before her. She stared death in the face for a time. Now, she stares at the beautiful face of the one who destroyed death. Pain free and in a new glorified body, my aunt is the envy of us all. My prayer and hope that the legacy of her joy in Christ would be lived out in her beautiful daughters and in this nephew of hers.

The Beauty of My Woman

My friend, Kristi, from Biola University sent an email to some male friends asking our opinion of our special women. This was the email:

Men of God,

I am preparing a bible study for women on beauty. This will be totally anonymous. Can you please reply by sharing what makes a woman or your woman beautiful to you? (Of course this will lead back to God's perspective of women). Your answer is up to your interpretation. Physical, inner qualities, actions or all the above! Thank you for your transparency and help!

Grateful,
Kristi

Since Kristi is a good friend, I wanted to give it some thought and not just email her back with lame clichés that have no meaning behind them. All men want godliness, but it looks different for different people. There are many women I personally know who are godly women. Does that mean I would be willing to marry any one of them? No. So lets get the vagueness out of the way and get started.

First the Physical component:

It’s not a big secret that men are visually driven. That’s just how we’re wired. Before you start thinking we’re shallow and only pursue “hot chicks,” there is an aspect of female physicality you may not know. Did you ever consider that how a girl looks physically could reveal something of her character? If a girl is in good shape, works out regularly, dresses modestly, doesn’t use too much make-up and still manages to look smokin,’ doesn’t that give insight into her character at least a little? I say yes. (Let me make it clear that I’m not saying every girl should look like Megan Fox but I’m simply saying its good to have a healthy life-style.)

It is true that God loves all His people and that everyone is “wonderfully and fearfully made.” There is a uniqueness of being created in the image of God. However, it is also our responsibility to be good stewards of what God has given us, including our bodies.

My wife is great at all the things mentioned above. I appreciate these things about her. It comes so naturally to her. And yes, she’s smokin’.

Second – Approachability:

Do you ever notice those women who give off that vibe that they could care less about you? They act like they’re an exclusive club and should have a red velvet rope around them? They don’t greet anyone but their friends and go out of their way NOT to acknowledge you. Yes, I like to call those types of girls bee-otch-es. I can’t stand that kind of arrogance. Can a girl be friendly, warming, and approachable without looking easy? I say yes.

Interestingly, some guys are attracted to the standoffish behavior because they think it’s a challenge. It’s a mountain to be climbed. Since I’m afraid of heights, I just stay away from mountains altogether.

Thirdly – Servanthood

My wife does an amazing job taking care of me by cooking dinner every night and making sure I have a lunch the next day. Of course I thank her by doing my share around the house (e.g., taking out the trash, making the bed, pretending to like the dog, etc.). She does this willingly and is joyful in doing it.

Fourth – Easy-going/Flexibility

When it comes to planning things we want to do, she’s rather easy-going about it. She could do whatever whenever. She’s not high maintenance and is extremely flexible. This does not come without its frustrations because sometimes neither one of us can make a decision. I will say, “What do you want to do honey?” She usually replies, “Whatever, dear.” This exchange repeats itself for about another twenty-seven times before I finally make a decision.

Finally - Complementary

My wife complements me well. I remember talking to my buddy Dom regarding how thankful we were for our wives. We both looked back at the girls we used to date or were interested in and praised the Lord it didn’t work out (I won’t get into details but God is truly merciful). She gives me another perspective on issues that I’m trying to think through. She’s very intelligent and offers sound reason from her side of the equation. She’s exactly what I need to become a better man, a man shaped more and more in the image of Christ through a personified picture of God’s grace towards me.

I know I could write tons more but that’s it in a nutshell. I hope that helps Kristi, and I’ll be praying for your Bible study to go well.

Think: Conference - Desiring God Ministries

This past weekend my father-in-law (aka The Big Boss Man) and my brother-in-laws, PJ and Jon, went to Minneapolis, Minnesota to attend Think: The Life of the Mind & the Love of God conference hosted by Desiring God ministries.

I wrote before that I was extremely blessed by the fact that they were even having this conference. The basic premise of the conference, as you could probably tell by the title, is fighting the anti-intellectualism within the church.

I prayed for my brothers and my father-in-law that the Lord would become more real to them this weekend. I hope the conference would fan a flame in them that they would bring back transformative truths to share with the rest of the body of Christ and build her up. This was my thinking throughout the weekend. Namely, praying for them and fighting jealously.

Of course I plan on buying the book of the conference and read what everyone had to say. I would encourage all of us to do the same. I can't begin to tell you how much John Piper's sermons, books, and ministry had impacted my life. I don't even know the man personally and he'll probably never know who I am. However, that doesn't change the fact that we worship the same Lord. There are countless times where I've heard a sermon by Piper where he's stirred my heart and helped realign my perspective towards eternal things and to live for what truly matters. Interestingly, my father-in-law brought back a book, which is a collection of essays written by Bruce Ware, C.J. Mahaney, Jon Bloom, Albert Mohler Jr, and Wayne Grudem to name a few. The book, titled "For the Fame of God's Name", is a tribute to John Piper and the impact he and his ministry has had on a global scale. It was a surprise to John Piper and my father-in-law described Piper being completely fronted and simply unable to talk when they presented it to him.

There is a note at the being of the book with the editors stating that they believe they could give tribute to a man while still giving all the glory to God and what the Lord has done through that man's life. I agree. I'm certainly glad these other godly scholarly men did it. And I'm certainly glad that I have family members that pursue God and have a hungry for His word and want to hear what gifted preachers have to say. I'm also thankful that now I have an earthly dad who would think of me and bring me back a book from the conference and share some of the things he's learned. I didn't even attend the conference but I'm still fired up!

Fighting anti-intellectualism within the church is a real issue. I felt like I had to fight that battle by myself for years. Apparently, I'm not the only one aware of the issue nor am I the only one fighting it. This has made me reflect more on my time at Biola University and the purpose God had for me going there. "Thinking is a dangerous thing . . . do this dangerous thing but do it well."

Tribute to Grandma

It was a long and hot summer day. I was seven years old hanging out with my sister and cousins causing mayhem and chaos, as usual. Since it was during the summer my Grandma would take care of us while everyone else went to work. She was the only adult around. She would usually read her Thai newspaper or watch old Kung Fu movies that had been translated into Thai.

One day, there was a giant Tarantula crawling on the wall upstairs. It was my sister, my cousin Theresa and myself who noticed it as we walked out of the bedroom. We immediately ran back into the room screaming and franticly grabbing the sheets to cover the opening underneath the door. We looked for another way of escape. The bedroom was on the second floor so the climb was too much for seven-year-olds. We decided to wait it out, hoping the Tarantula would grow tired of waiting for it’s prey and leave. A couple of hours passed and we decided to take a peak out of the door. Sure enough, the Tarantula was still there but only closer to the doorway. We repeated the screaming as we ran back into the room and franticly grabbed the sheets to cover the opening underneath the door once again.

Finally, through all the hysterical screaming, my grandma came up the stairs to see what the commotion was all about. We opened the door and noticed that Grandma had obliviously walked right by the Tarantula (to this day I don’t understand how she was completely unaware of a Tarantula that looked like it came out of “Clash of the Titans.”). When we pointed it out to her, she quickly grabbed a magazine, rolled it up and held it over her head like a samurai warrior and chopped it down with one strike like she was Uma Thurman in Kill Bill.

That’s really Grandma in a nutshell. It would take some commotion to get her attention and at times she was oblivious to her surroundings but she was always there for us when we were kids. She wasn’t the amazing cook my mom was (actually she was pretty lousy) but she made sure we had food on the plate.

The truly amazing part of my grandma’s story was that she grown up being a Buddhist. Thai people have it indoctrinated in their minds that to be a Thai person you need to also be Buddhist. However, once my mom became a Christian my grandma was one of her first converts. This was a miracle because old people, as you know, don’t really change all that much. Converting from Buddhism to Christianity is quite the change. My mother and grandmother would attend church together and even were baptized just a year apart. Sadly, my grandma had a stroke that would render her in a vegetative state just a few years after her conversion. Although she progressed back to a state of partial awareness, she was never able to speak again. Seeing her unable to talk floored me. The family thought it best to move her back to Thailand.

My mom and I made a trip to Bangkok in the summer of 2005 to visit her. My mom was still extremely affectionate towards her and at night, she would lie by her side in bed and gently stroke her hair while telling her stories of how much Jesus loves her. I’m not exactly sure if my grandma understood any of it or if it impacted her at all. However, watching my mom’s example of unconditional love towards my grandma certainly impacted me.

Grandma’s last few months were extremely painful as her health began to deteriorate rapidly. Finally, the Lord released her from her pain and she is home with Jesus now. Death always brings sobering thoughts to mind and causes me to take personal inventory on my own life. I’ll never forget the care my grandma provided when my mom had to work as a single mother. What I take away from my grandma’s life is her example of contentment and servant-hood.

So I rejoice that my grandma is finally home with the Lord. She no longer is experiencing pain but is experiencing joy unspeakable. She is no longer in a deteriorating body but in a glorified body that cannot waste away. My grandma is a reminder of the godly legacy my mom left behind and the godly legacy I need to follow.

…till next time Grandma, when we will talk again.

Training Camp - "One Away"

This past week I've been sick and dealing with a pulled right hamstring. I haven't been able to workout because of work, sickness, and house hunting. This morning I woke up and realized that training camp begins for the Lakers. I said to myself, "Screw it! I'm hitting the gym." After meeting my buddy Carlos at the gym, we starting rehabbing my hamstring. It felt great to be back in the gym and working out. Although I'm not 100% and still unable to play basketball, it still felt good to be somewhat active.

But do you know what else feels good? That's right, basketball season is around the corner and The Lake Show will be going for the 3-peat. I've already talked about the games I'll be attending and I even planned out Christmas Day. With the Miami Heat getting all the hype this season, I'm giddy to see how this year plays out. No, I'm not concerned with Andrew Bynum missing the beginning of the season. If you remember, P. Gasol missed the beginning of last season and Kobe brought his summer workouts with Hakeem with him and turned into a 6'6 Olajuwon. It was a joy to watch him punish every shooting guard in the post. I'm looking for more of the same this year. As long as Bynum is healthy (enough) during the playoffs we'll be fine.

Interestingly, the wife suggested the "Dream Season" being that the Lakers beat Boston again in the Finals. Imagine that Kobe and the Lakers beat the C's again with Shaq on the team in a year that Miami received all the hype and didn't even make the Finals? Wow! I'll need life insurance because if this were to happen (possible) I would explode. At the height of the Lakers/Celtics rivalry in the 80s, they played three times in the Finals (Lakers winning two out of the three). I say it's only fitting that they play three times in this era as well (the Lakers also winning two out of the three). Furthermore, the Laker franchise is only one championship away from tying the hated Celtics at 17. Also, Kobe is only one championship away from tying Michael Jordan (and no, I'm not one of those Laker fans who thinks Kobe is better than MJ. In certain aspects of the game, yes but not overall. Still, it would be fun watching him tie the great one and let the talking heads speak on that achievement for days on end.). So then, I'm officially naming the 2010-2011 NBA season "One Away." That should be our war cry this year. Did I mention that I'm giddy?

For kicks here's a nice youtube clip that emphasizes my point:

A "Prodigal Uncle" Part II of II

Click here for Part I

It was a small Christian church in Bangkok. I attended the service with my mom and a couple of friends from Biola. After the service was over I got up and looked towards the back and noticed my uncle sitting at the last row slowly getting up. And when I saw him, all 5’7, 110 pounds of him, I gave him a hug and I felt his frail boney body. Its as if I could’ve squeezed the last breath from his body like though I was folding a piece of tarp. The moment overtook me in an instant and I began weeping immediately. My friends gave me a moment to myself as I tried to collect my composure. My uncle said that he was still alive “because of Jesus.” For a man with such an abhorrent background to say that was an absolute miracle. I stood in awe at the manifestation of God’s grace in the life of my uncle.

I talked to him a few weeks ago on the phone and the pain of the cancer was getting unbearable. He knew that his time was near. He felt guilty about everything that he had done in his lifetime, especially towards our family. He kept saying that he was sorry, and he was in so much pain both physically and within his own soul. My mom and I would try and explain the concept of grace to him- that his debt was paid for by Jesus.

I believe that the Lord extended his life a year or so for him to understand that concept. Why else would he have been healed? I called him the “prodigal” uncle because he wasted his entire life pursuing the things of this world. Only at the end did he really see that it was all meaningless, insignificant and empty. But by God’s grace he was able to live for another year in a relationship with God. He didn’t fully understand the basic theological concept of grace (I’m not sure I do sometimes either) before he died. But he understands it more now than I ever will in this lifetime.

In the end, my uncle Paul wasted the majority of his life. However, because of the gospel of Jesus Christ, his soul was not wasted. The final year of his life he spent going to church every week and worshipping the God who redeemed his life. He was humble, meek, and fully aware of the borrowed time on his hands. Now, for all eternality he stands in the presence of the Almighty in a glorified body worshipping with the strength of a legion of men. I can’t believe he gets to do this before I do!! What a jerk!! Truly, where sin abounds – grace abounds much more.

A "Prodigal Uncle" Part I of II

I wrote this back in Dec 2005. I wanted to repost it because of the recent lost of my Grandma and Aunt (of which I will be writing about at a later time). It's a beautiful story of God's grace on a man's life and another wonderful story about my mom who burned with a passion that people may come to know the Lord.

The word “prodigal” is often associated with the parable of the prodigal son and it is often used to refer to someone who is presently lost in the world or of a runaway child (Luke 15:11-32). This of course is not what the word actually means. It literally means “wasteful,” usually in a monetary sense. So the prodigal son was wasteful of his parents’ money but returned home to a warm welcome, to say the least. The parable is about grace (although the word “grace” is not found in the passage, the concept of it is clear) and how God views us as His children.

Recently, my uncle Paul passed away because of cancer. He was fighting it for a couple of years and finally lost the battle. But that’s not the tragic part. The tragic part was that he was a “prodigal uncle”. Not so much in a monetary sense, although it certainly includes it. Throughout his entire life he was a raging alcoholic, irresponsible, and absolutely abusive, verbally and physically, towards family members.

He would stay with different family members until they just couldn’t stand him anymore and then send him off to other family members. As a kid I remember that he would pick on me. I tried to ameliorate the situation by keeping in mind that he is my uncle and that I should respect him. But his astringent remarks and treatment of me and other family members made it difficult. I guess what I’m saying is that he was not a nice guy. You know what . . . he was just a down right A-hole!

As the years passed, his lifestyle finally caught up to him as it eventually does with everyone who lives in such a way. About two years ago he was diagnosed with cancer and his body started to deteriorate. The doctors only gave him a few days to live at most.

After receiving the news, my mother went to Thailand to see him and shared the gospel with him. She was kind in her words and fervent in her prayers. Uncle Paul was deeply touched that someone would still care about him at this stage of his life. He received Christ and started miraculously regaining his health. Slowly he began to gain his weight back. For the first time in his life he realized that he was a terrible person and that he had racked up a great deal of sins against his account. On my last trip to Thailand, I was able to see him (2005).

Click here for Part II

Old Friend, New Era

Earlier this month my old friend Dom, who I’ve been friends with since 7th grade, moved up to Monterey California with his wife, Jessica, to take a youth pastor position at Cypress Church. This news by itself is exciting because the church is in need of a good youth pastor and I believe Dom is the guy. But that’s not even the most exciting news, at least to me.

The wife and I were there when Dom and Jess were introduced to the church and to the youth group. Dom gave a snapshot of his testimony and mentioned the tragic death of his older brother Bryce when we were still in middle school. That was the event that drove Dom and Laura, Dom’s mother, to church. One by one his friends followed him to church, including the infamous Bryan Benavidez and myself.



Attending church wasn’t immediately life changing but it did start our exposure to the gospel of Jesus Christ. Ironically, Bryan and I would stay consistent with attending church in our early high school years but Dom would eventually fall off the map and began engaging in the world with new fervor. Sadly, as Bryan and I began to mature as Christians, we stood by helplessly watching our friend indulge himself in worldly pleasures and decadence and fall further into the abyss of darkness.

During this time, Dom was being recruited by colleges for a basketball scholarship. Also during this time, Laura, Dom’s mother, came down with breast cancer. As Laura grew sicker, Dom’s world and perspective immediately changed. It shook him to the core of his being. Through treatment and God’s mercy, Laura recovered and is doing well today. That event steered Dom back to the Lord.

One day, Bryan and I were talking about how cool it would be if we were able to go to a place like The Master’s College. Then we received a phone call from Dom asking us, "Hey, have you guys ever heard of The Master's College?" We told him all about it. When his junior college career ended, he attended The Master’s College on a full basketball scholarship. This is where he was grounded in the Word and met his wife Jessica (through a crank-call, no less). After finishing his bachelor’s in Biblical Studies he went on to teach at Santa Clarita Christian School for the next seven years.




This is exciting for Cypress Church to gain a solid youth pastor with a heart for young Christians. But it’s exciting to me that Dom is entering a new era in his life. He can take all of his experiences while he was in youth group, the Bible training he received at The Master’s College, the experience from teaching at a Christian school for several years- and most importantly, all the wisdom I’ve been able to impart to him throughout the years- and use it to help shape, mold, and mature in Christ the students that he will be working with. Throughout Dom's darkest times in life, God was preparing him for this moment. Furthermore, it reminds me that God uses “earthen vessels” for His glory. No matter how the youth ministry flourishes at Cypress Church, God will ultimately get the credit for it is He who sovereignly worked out all things “according to the counsel of His will” in Dom’s life to put him where he is today.

The Summer of Beast-Mode

As the summer comes to an end, I like to reflect on things I’ve learned and done. This summer I took the opportunity to teach summer school. For the month of August, I worked out with my buddy Carlos. He’s wanted to work out together for some time. The guy is buffed out and I told him that I wasn’t interested in getting totally yoked out. Remember, I’m a basketball player who needs to be lean and agile. Carlos replied, “You’ll be alright.” I figured that it’s only for a month and I could use him to push me during the workouts (this is one of those “be careful for what you ask for” moments).

Normally, my routine is working out between four to five days a week. However, for the month of August I had three total days where I didn’t run, lift weights, or play basketball or some combination of two out of the three in a day. It was going 9.0 on the Beast-Mode scale for the entire month.

Carlos was helpful in telling me what body part to isolate each day and gave me effective lifting techniques for each workout. He also pushed me further than I thought I could’ve gone. The wife even noticed my additional muscular tone and my perpetual state of soreness.

There are two things that I’ve taken from this experience with Carlos. First, I thought I was a beast in the weight room. I was wrong. Carlos is a beast in the weight room. He also pushed me to do things that I wouldn’t have done on my own. When I was ready to call it a workout we went an additional 45 minutes. As a result, I realize that my body was capable of going farther than I thought I could go.

Second, if you’ve read my weight room blog you’ll realize my no non-sense attitude while working out. Sometimes I can get lost in my music and have that, “I’m too busy doing work to talk to anyone” attitude. Since I was working out with Carlos, I didn’t have headphones and neither did he. Throughout our workouts he would frequently say “hello” to several people that he knew in the gym. He met them just by going to the gym often and simply being friendly. I thought to myself, “Here’s a guy who works out twice as hard as I do but yet has time to love people.” It was convicting and challenging.

Furthermore, Carlos isn’t a basketball player but was willing to shoot some hoops with me after some workouts. He even playfully challenged me to a game of one-on-one. We played a game to 21 and the final score was 21-1. He boasts in the fact that he scored on me. I told him that even a blind squirrel could find a nut from time to time. What stood out to me is that he didn’t have an ego to maintain. He was kind to people at the gym while putting in some serious work, he asked questions about things I was more knowledgeable in, and he was constantly encouraging me to push myself to get better.

I really feel that the Lord put him in my life to show me that we could still make an impact on the people around us even at the gym. I’ve always thought that gym-time was “me-time” and that I didn’t really need to be kind and caring to anyone while I was working out because, . . . well . . . I was working out. Christianity doesn’t take time off and I’m happy that I have brothers around me to remind me of that fact.

Con“friend” tation - part II of II

Click here for part I.

I’ve always admired my buddy Aaron Brown for his willingness to confront me (and anyone else for that matter) and call me on things that needed to be addressed. If there was something that offended him, he didn’t hold it in but tactfully and clearly talked about it. Sometimes in our attempt to confront someone with something we can end up being unclear due to fear, and the message never truly gets across. Aaron was skillful in how he would be direct, clear, and loving all at the sometime. He taught me not to hold things in when it came to a brother doing something that bothered me because it comes out in sarcasm and back-handed comments, which are ungodly. I’m yet to be as skillful in that area, but I’m getting better. Having him as an example has helped.

“All Scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness” (2 Tim. 3:16 – italics added - NASB).

There’s a caveat that needs to be mentioned at this point. All of the people I’ve just mentioned (and even others I haven’t) who have rebuked me or exhorted me have several things in common; they were there when I graduated from Biola University. They were there when I graduated Talbot School of Theology. They were there when I was struggling in my singleness. They were there when I was struggling with sin. They were there when my mother died. They were there when I got married. They were there when my crazy older sister was fighting the rest of the family over my mom’s estate. This is why I was able to be “teachable.” It was not because I was some outstanding and humble individual (I wasn’t) but it was because I saw and understood the love that my brothers had for me. They rebuked not out of a sense of self-righteousness but out of a concern for my righteousness, and I’m a better man for it.

There’s also a way not to rebuke/exhort. I remember a time when we were in youth group and my buddy Ernie was rebuked by a stranger at the church who happen to over hear that he doesn’t clean up his room. Okay, we were seniors in high school and probably should be more responsible in keeping our quarters clean, but what business did that guy have rebuking my friend Ernie when he didn’t have a relationship with him? A total stranger rebuking him bothered Ernie and it didn’t encourage him any. However, it certainly made that stranger feel better about himself. He came across self-righteous and arrogant. I seriously doubt he was ready to walk through the Valley of the Shadow of Death with Ernie in much the same way my friends and pastors/professors have with my life.

In addition, I’ve also had leadership cast me out like garbage when I’ve made a mistake or simply degreed with them on whatever issue. No matter how much that hurt at the time, I’m not bitter about it because I see God’s purpose in all of it. On the positive side, I also remember my youth pastor Rick Ronquillo who attempted to give me sound advice only for me to reject it. In retrospect, he was right in most cases, and I was simply acting immature thinking that I knew what I was doing. Rick never reaped the benefits of pouring into a young man with a teachable spirit but he’s never held it against me either. I’ll forever remember him as the guy who “started me on this Christian journey” (Hey, that sounds like a great blog idea!!!).

Receiving correction is never easy. It takes humility. Sometimes it’s not warranted, done in an inappropriate manner, or given by a person who will never give you affirmation. As men, we all have that “There’s no way I’m wrong” attitude in us. That attitude needs to die daily. I’ve seen Christian men refuse to take responsibility for their actions and it’s ugly. They not only hurt themselves but those closest to them.




But when a person enters The Jammer’s inner circle they’ll have a friend for life. A friend who won’t be afraid to ask hard questions or call them on things while doing it in love. They’ll have a friend who will jump at the chance to walk with them through the darkest of times. On the flip side, they also have a platform to speak into my life. The people I can receive correction from are the same people who will walk through The Valley of the Shadow of Death with me. They will be the first to affirm me and give out words of encouragement when the opportunity presents itself. They are my “gang” who won’t leave me “hanging.” As a result, I feel more confident that I’m not in this fight alone and my “gang” will fight the cause of personal holiness and the advancement of Christ’s kingdom to the Father’s glory with me.

Con“friend” tation - part I of II

As a kid who grew up in the streets of East Los Angeles, I know a thing or two about gangs. I was never involved in gangs because it never made any sense to me. I would ask gangsters “Why are you in a gang?” They would reply with their chin held high, “For back up, ese!” Did it ever occur to them that they wouldn’t need “back up” if they weren’t in a gang? Whatever.

I will never condone anything that involves gang activity. However, there is something about the gang sub-culture that has the idea of “brotherhood” right, even though it’s twisted beyond measure. It’s the idea that you have to look out for one another and do hard things to protect each other, like getting into a fight. Again, I will never condone needless and reckless violence especially for pointless and petty reasons. But there is a sense of “togetherness” from gangs that I want to call your attention to.

The “togetherness” that gangs have stem from a sense of belonging to something bigger than themselves and a cause that gives them purpose, even though that cause is twisted. As Christian brothers, we are called to the highest cause, namely living for the glory of God. A way we live to honor the Lord is to have a sense of “togetherness” and that means having each other’s “back.” Instead of picking fights for stupid reasons we are fighting a spiritual war. Instead of weapons of carnality we have the “armor of God.” We not only fight for our own sanctification but also for the sanctification of our brothers, our “gang.”

One of the ways we fight for each other’s sanctification is not by picking fights with other gangs but by confronting each other. Meaning, when we see a brother doing something wrong, ungodly, or offensive, we are mandated to confront and speak the truth in love (Eph. 4:15). This is a form of love that is difficult to do. However, just because confrontation is difficult doesn’t mean that it should be avoided. It would be like letting a member of your “gang” get a beat down without doing anything about it. If a gang finds out that a member didn’t help protect another member that member would either get kicked out of the gang, beat up, or worse.

Now the church of Jesus Christ does not function in that fashion, for which I am thankful. But how many times have we not been willing to confront a brother out of fear of either losing the friendship or of that person taking offense? One of the biggest compliments I’ve received from one of my pastors was that I was “teachable.” This wasn’t always the case. But I’ve learned that if my objective is to be more like Christ, then I have to learn how to receive correction and be willing to be confronted myself.

The reason that one of my pastors knows I’m teachable is that he’s rebuked me a few times. There have been things that friends and pastors have called me on that I simply needed to own up to. A few months ago my buddy John Rinehart wrote a letter rebuking me for not taking my leadership position of our Grace Group (home bible study) seriously. My initial reaction was to get defensive and search for things to throw back at him even if those things might not be true. After taking a deep breath and objectively looking at what he was trying to tell me, I understood that he was looking out for my best interest and the interest of our Grace Group. He had my back because he was looking out for my character and soul. The Apostle Peter says:

“You younger men, likewise, be subject to your elders; and all of you clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, for GOD IS OPPOSED TO THE PROUD, BUT GIVES GRACE TO THE HUMBLE. Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you at the proper time, casting all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you” (1 Peter 5:5-8 – italics added NASB).

Click here for part II.

NBA Schedule 2010-2011

The 2010-2011 NBA Schedule is out and therefore the Lakers schedule is out. Although I'm still on the fence with renewing my season tickets I'm going to pretend I am. Since I already mentioned the Christmas Day games lets move on to the rest of the schedule. Shall we?

Oct 29, 2010 - vs. Houston - This is opening night and of course there will be a ring ceremony. But this time Trevor Ariza watches Ron-Ron get his ring. If Ariza hasn't fired his agent he needs to, like right now.

Oct 31 or Nov 21, 2010 vs. Golden State - I usually take my buddy Chris Hunt to one of these games because he's a big Warriors fan. The problem here is that they are both Sunday night games. Chris and I both help lead Grace Groups (home bible study) and they meet on Sunday nights. We'll have to think of a good excuse for missing the night. Any suggestions? . . . ANY?

Jan 9 , 2011 - vs. New York - The new look Knicks are in the house. They should be an exciting team if Amar'e hasn't blown out his knee by then.

Jan 17, 2011 - vs. Oklahoma City - K. Durant is in town. He'll be considered the best player in the league in about three years. The only problem with going to this game is that it's our anniversary. Does the wife really want to go to a ball game on our anniversary? My selling point will be that we'll celebrate it during the weekend instead of a lame Monday. Do you think she'll buy it? I don't think so either.

Jan 25, 2011 - vs. Utah - First home game against Utah. What are the chances that Kobe lights up Raja Bell for not signing with the Lakers? I think he goes for 50 that night.

April 3, 2011 - vs. Denver - This is always an exciting game because of the colorful characters.

April 12, 2011 - vs. San Antonio - The were are best rivals during the better part of the decade. I'm going to this game simply out of respect for them (although I hope we crashed them badly).

Now at a glance you might notice that I'm not going to many games this year but that could change when the season gets under way. But since the wife and I are in the process of buying a home, who knows what's going to happy. I know that it's been great having these tickets. One of my hope(s) is to have them long enough for when Junior Jr. comes along and educating him in Laker lore. That would be sweet! Maybe I'll sell the wife on keeping the tickets will be future investment on some good father-son time (and no, I haven't thought about having a girl, yet). Do you think she'll buy it? . . . neither do I.

The Pros and Cons of Parenthood

My good friend Jeanine, whom I met at the bible college that should not be named, keeps asking me “When are you going to have kids?” She has three boys of her own and I have no doubts she’s the best mother to these boys any woman could possibly be. In addition, our good friend Katie Hunt, who recently just had her first child, is so excited about being a parent that she wants us to join them. Kind of like joining a fun bowling league you want your friends to join. I told her that we’d wait for their second child before we join in on the “fun” and she gave me the look of death. She continued to say that she’d pray that God would change my heart. I replied by saying, “I would pray God would change your heart about praying for God to change my heart.” In any case, as I ponder this question of being a parent I began to compile the pros and cons of parenthood.

I’m writing this from a guy’s perspective knowing very well that parenthood is inevitable. I feel like Neo being held down by Agent Smith on the train tracks, in the Matrix, as the train is coming, “Do you hear that, Mr. Anderson? That is the sound of inevitability. That is the sound of your death.” And just like the scene in the Matrix, I hope to jump out of the way of the on-coming train for at least two sequels.

(Actually, watching that scene again I feel like Agent Smith represents having children and Neo represented me fighting having children. As Agent Smith beats Neo senseless, I can’t help but feel that I’ll take on the same kind of beating as a parent.)

So here’s my list:

Pro: The wife will be happy. This is always a good thing. I also feel a personal responsibility as a husband to make the wife happy whenever possible.

Con: The responsibility of caring for a person’s life. That’s some major responsibility. My motto has always been to avoid responsibility at all cost. Having a child (or children – wow, just typing that made me cringe) would completely and absolutely destroy that motto in 0.000043 seconds.

Pro: The in-laws would be happy. They have also offered free babysitting, which I plan to take full advantage. Of course I have no doubts the in-laws and I will have conflicting parental views, like it’s okay to curse when either the Lakers are losing or when you’re driving alone. Every other time is off limits. The in-laws have a no cursing under any circumstances rule. Where’s the flexibility in that?

Con: There will be less time to follow basketball. There are times when the dog comes into the room looking for attention while I’m catching up on the scores, highlights, and news of the NBA. I just tell him to “Get out!” and he complies. However, I can’t do that with a child, at least not without psychological ramifications. I’ll actually have to spend time with the child.

Pro: (. . . thinking . . . thinking . . . thinking . . . )

Con: What would I do with my Lakers season tickets? My buddy Andre says to sell them and get diapers. Is that really going to motivate me to have kids? How many times can the wife take care of Junior Jr. all day while I work only to come home and take off for the ball game? If I gave you two years until she files for divorce would you take the over/under?

Pro: (still . . . thinking . . . thinking . . . thinking)

Con: Discipline. Something I never had when I was growing up was discipline. I had a stepfather who beat me but that really wasn’t discipline but more like child abuse. I’ve never been a disciplined person so for me to discipline a child would be hypocritical. If I let the wife do all the disciplining then parenting becomes the “Good cop, bad cop” routine. Who wants that? Well, at least I’ll be the “good cop.”

Pro: Tax write-off.

Con: Having a child is expensive and I’m a tightwad. We just bought a house and it freaks me out that we now have a mortgage for the foreseeable future (this will get it’s own blog when we officially move in at the end of the month).

Pro: You get to bring another Lakers fan into the world.

Con: What if there is something wrong with them? What if they are allergic to peanuts, not athletic, or want to become a dancer (this goes for both a boy and girl)? It’s nerve-racking just to think about it.

Pro: Ironically, the head-cases who are my students help me want to have a child a little more. If for no other reason, my children would dominate the competition.

Con(s): Changing diapers, getting woke up in the middle of the night from a crying baby, vomit everywhere, crying baby during the day, crying baby when they’re out, keeping them from doing stupid things, more crying, attending to their every waking needs, parent conferences, weekly meeting with the principle, teenage apathy, teenage defiance, attending all their stupid events (missing basketball games in the process), young adult apathy, young adult defiance, paying for their college in order for them to get a great job to leave us in the dust afterwards. I’m not exactly sure why people sign up for this. But people keep telling me it’s worth it and the wife is convinced of this fact.

For example, a couple of weeks ago the dog got sick and in the middle of the night started and Exorcist vomiting all over the living room. I woke up to the stench that could only be described with profanities. I left for work wanting to vomit myself. The wife later said it cost $150 for the dog’s meds. I asked her, “How much to have him put down?” That question only received the death look. My point is that children are double the work of dogs and that’s pretty scary for a selfish guy like myself.

Let me get serious if not only for a paragraph. I’ve always wondered what it would’ve been like if I had a good father growing up. I’ve felt like my childhood was a waste, just collecting issues and psychological damage only to be worked out and fixed during my adult years. My children will have a good father if only by God’s grace. I don’t have to live under the psychological fatalistic mentality that says that things from my past will hold me down. I will do my best as a father and simply trust in God’s sovereignty. The Lord was willing to adopt me into His family when I was an enemy. So the Lord will show me what kind of love to give my children. In addition, I have a wonderful community of believers who are godly parents that I could seek counsel (and babysitting) from. With the Lord's strength and their support, I'm sure things will turn out okay.

In conclusion, it’s clear that the cons outweigh the pros but isn’t parenthood sacrificial? Isn’t parenthood supposed to be selfless? Doesn't being a parent help put things into perspective? Does parenthood help align our values properly? Doesn't God call children a "blessing?" I guess these are the things that really scares me.