Anniversary 5.0

So I read in the Marriage Manuel that you really need to get something special for your wife every fifth anniversary (e.g., 5th, 10th, 15th etc). This year being our fifth anniversary, I actually had to put some thought into this. Last year, I was in a rush, copped out and went to Jared’s and overpaid for a piece of jewelry. The good news is my wife liked what I got her, but I really should’ve $aved the “rush your @$$ to Jared’s” card for one of these fifth years (take note young husbands).

Since my wife is nice enough to not let me screw this one up she just told me what she wanted. Admittedly, when she mentioned it, she said that it could be saved for years down the road. But, since I was given the idea, I figured that I would save me some brainpower and use it this year. It didn’t save my wallet, but I’m not complaining (not out loud anyway). My wife deserves it. Now I don’t know much about women, but I do know the universal truth that no matter what her background, culture, or childhood was like, they want flowers, chocolate, and diamonds. You can NEVER go wrong with anyone of these gifts. Especially when you give her diamonds. I have no clue why women have an affinity towards these particular items, but it’s knowledge I was able to use to my advantage.

When it comes to diamonds, I call in the expert, namely, my sister Victoria. She knows some people in the downtown LA jewelry district, and she helped get my wife’s engagement and wedding ring. So, I called her in for back up once more. Downtown LA is probably the second worst city on earth to drive in because of the one-way streets and traffic (It’s only second to New York). If you don’t know exactly where you’re going, you may never find your way out of that city again. My sister knows the building, where to get inexpensive parking (Inexpensive and my sister are rarely ever connected), the security guards by first name, and all the jewelers in the store. She gets the best deals. (Although getting a “deal” on diamonds still requires spending enough money to make one vomit.)

When we got to the jewelry shop, my sister waved hello to the jewelers from outside the bulletproof glass window. They buzzed her in with excitement because they know Victoria doesn’t come just to “look” at stuff. She comes to spend money, and this time it was going to be my money. The jewelry was so shiny I had to wear sunglasses just to look at it all. I overheard another lady there say, “This is like a candy store for ladies.” I’m no expert, but I’ve been to a candy store and I don’t recall spending $500 for some Skittles. After some small talk, we quickly picked out the item, swallowed hard after looking at the price, and then bit the bullet. Done and done. I’m sure my wife will love it.

Wow. Has it really been five years already? What will the next five years look like? I feel like I have the most amazing wife in the world. She gets up early in the morning to make breakfast for me and the kids, she’s wise with her money, she’s constantly keeping the house clean, she prepares every meal, and she does it with complete gladness and with a servant’s heart because she loves the Lord. Even though she is completely content, I want to give her so much more. Each day that goes by I feel more blessed that she’s in my life, and I praise God for that. She is the constant reminder of God’s undeserving goodness in my life.

Happy anniversary, Honey. I feel like I love you more and more with each passing year. I hope to have many more years with you. But if I die unexpectedly please keep the Laker season tickets in the family and make sure Bryan pays me back all the money he owes me. I love you.

For last year's anniversary blog click here.

For my Wedding Diary blog click here.

The Swagger Wagon

I bought my Ford Explorer new in 1997 and paid it off in 2002. When I married my wife, I immediately paid off the balance on her car since the interest rate was so high because of a lack of credit history when she first bought it. Not everyone agrees about universal truths, but most people can agree that having a car payment stinks. It’s extremely nice to drive around in functioning cars and NOT have a payment. The thought of having another car payment makes me want to vomit.

However, my wife is currently eight-months pregnant with our second child. Watching her painfully get Joelle (17-months) in and out of her Toyoda Avalon was killing me. The thought of her having to get TWO kids in and out of that car next month was killing me even more. It was clearly “bite the bullet” time. We were going car shopping!

The interesting part was both my wife and I didn’t want a van because of the connotation of being old, uncool, or even worse, being like our parents. But the more and more she looked at what she needed, a van seem to fit. Darn it! It’s “bite the bullet” times two! Since I haven’t bought a car this century, I was a little out of practice. I had forgotten how stressful it could be and how sometimes car salesmen try to take you for everything you’re worth. You really need to do your research. After looking at the most popular options for vans, we landed on the Honda Odyssey.

Our first stop was Honda World. We came in with a reasonable offer on a used car they had, but the salesmen we were working with noticed another couple looking at the same car. When we wouldn’t move on the numbers, he just got up and left (and sent his manager to deal with us). The couple that was looking at the car ended up buying it for the sticker price on the lot, which was $6,000 more than what they had it listed for online (that’s the salesmen’s story, anyway). Initially I thought, “Good for the salesmen.” But what I should have been thinking was, “What an idiot that dude was for overpaying for a car!” If he had done just a little research, he could have saved some serious money. But hey, who really wants to look up car prices on the Internet when you could just throw away thousands of dollars at the dealership?

In retrospect, though, I guess it should matter to us what others pay for cars because it directly affects the market value of said vehicle. The salesmen was experienced enough to know how much he could get for a given vehicle from people who hadn’t done their research. There’s little leverage for a salesman if the people who come in know the value of the car, have excellent credit, and don’t have an immediate need for the car. However, it seems like they can always spot a sucker, like this guy could. Why would he bother to sell us the car for a good deal when he could sell that same car to a sucker for far more? So because there was a sucker in the parking lot we got screwed out of the car we wanted. Sweet!

We continued our search online and eventually found another car at a second dealer that seemed like a good price. After phone calls to verify that the car was in stock, we went to the dealer in person to look at it. Unfortunately, the car wasn’t actually there at the time. We ended up agreeing to an initial deal, contingent on our being able to see and test drive the car. To make a week long story short, in the subsequent days, we got the run around from the dealer about when the car would actually be available to be seen and test driven. The car was at the “sister lot”- Honda Santa Monica- getting detailed. Calls at the end of the week and a trip to that dealer also left us empty handed and unsure where we stood with this particular car. My wife was so frustrated with the process that she mailed it in. She didn’t care how difficult it was going to be getting two babies in and out of the Avalon. This is where the reasonable, calm, and cool-headed husband kicked in. There was no way I was going to miss out on a potentially great deal and let my wife take our kids around (with all their stuff) with an inadequate car. So, the second time I had to make the trek down to Honda Santa Monica, my father-in-law was nice enough to come with me.

The salesman we worked with at this dealership was a lot more accommodating when he heard our story with all the run-around(s). I wanted my father-in-law to test drive Odyssey. I figured that owning one himself, he should know how it was supposed to run. Little did I know that I was in for a wild ride. Once we got in the car and buckled up, my father-in-law floored it right out of the parking lot. We were fast approaching a red light and I thought to myself, “Is he going to run the red light?” He then slammed on the breaks. Everything on the center console fell off, my head came inches from hitting the windshield, and the seatbelt sling shot me back so hard I nearly got whip lash. He then turned to me and said, “Well, the breaks are working.” He went on to drive without using any hands to see if the alignment was okay and aggressively turned the steering wheel back and forth. I was just waiting for him to try and Tokyo Drift the van. Apparently, when he test-drives a car, he goes into Vin Diesel mode.

Surprisingly, we got back to the dealership in one piece and started working the numbers with the salesman. We gave him the numbers we were happy with and we got everything we asked for. We also negotiated some repairs on the car without extra cost. My father-in-law and I had some good bonding time over the experience. He really enjoys that kind of stuff- talking to the salesman, dealers, researching cars, etc. It gave me more peace of mind because he had the same vehicle, along with several members of our church, and they’ve all been happy with it. Even though my wife was frustrated with the car shopping process, I knew that once we had the vehicle in hand and she drove around in it, she was going to be happy.

After a week she says it’s been a lot easier to get Joelle in and out of the car and it will be a lot easier when baby #2 comes along next month as well. My wife is happy, and I am happy.

I done good - (patting myself on the back)

I was so excited about the new purchase that I made sure to text my sister about it. She asked, “How long is the term for the loan?” I said, “60 months.” She replied, “So that’s how long I’ll have to listen to you complain about a car payment?” Wow. She knows me pretty well. And the answer is “yes,” I’ll be complaining the whole way through.

In Memory of Geoff Dykstra

This morning I attended the monthly Men’s Breakfast at my church, and it was announced that Geoff Dykstra went home to be with the Lord today. He had been battling cancer for several months. Geoff leaves behind him his wife, Leah, and his five children.

I didn’t know Geoff well and only had a couple of conversations with him. However, his shining example of his love for Christ was not lost on me. At the Men’s Breakfast, people went around sharing moments of Geoff’s life. He clearly had an impact on the lives of those around him. There were several things said about Geoff that really stood out; his consistent joyful attitude, how he loved his children and wife, and his desire to serve others. More than a few members from our church visited him in the hospital and noticed he knew everyone’s name. Geoff greeted all the nurses, doctors, and janitors by name and felt it was his mission to be an example of Christ’s love to the people around despite the fact that he was dying of cancer.

During a church work day a few months ago, even in his weakened state, Geoff showed up to pass out water for the guys that were working, wearing a breathing mask so he wouldn’t get sick. There are countless stories of how godly this man was.

As I think about this, there are a few things I just want to mention.

First, Geoff would hate getting any attention like this. He would deflect the attention back on the Lord. It was his love for Jesus that made him the person we all can aspire to.

Second, I’ve never been at a church where someone was sick and the entire church felt it. Throughout Geoff’s process, from being diagnosed with cancer and the treatment that followed, the church constantly updated the members about his situation and health status. There was constant support and prayers for him and his family (support which will continue as his wife and children face new challenges). No sermon or book could’ve taught me how to suffer with those who suffer better than the way my church did by this example.

Finally, I feel honored and privileged having known Geoff, even a little. His example of being a loving father to his children I will take with me and aspire to. I also feel honored and privileged that these are the types of people who attend my church. One of the elders told Geoff before he died that the church would take care of his family. All of us are happy to follow in that pledge.

As the years goes by I’m learning more and more about the function of the Body of Christ. We are vessels of God’s love and mercy. We are an army that fights for each other’s holiness. We are a hospital for the sick and a food bank for the hungry. We correct and rebuke. We encourage and affirm. We say God’s people are never alone. We walk together through the fires of hell and fields of lilies. We stand shoulder to shoulder from the depths of the earth and to the heights of heaven. We are His bride. We are His body. We are the church.

If you want to know a little more about Geoff Dykstra his blog is here.

If you want to give to the Dykstra Fund in order to help support his family - CLICK HERE.