July 20th was fast approaching. It was Joelle’s due date. She was going to be our first child, so you know there was great anticipation not only from my wife but also from everyone in our lives. I was asked almost daily, “How’s your wife doing?” I loved that so many people cared. I was a little worried because it was the same day The Dark Knight Rises was coming out, and I didn’t want to miss it. Thankfully, my daughter was late so I was able to catch the movie on opening weekend. That was nice of her. However, July 20th came and went. Then a day became another day and then another and soon it became a week.
My wife hardly complains about anything, so when she started complaining about being pregnant for so long I knew it was getting tough on her. She started having contractions regularly on Monday the 23rd. Her contractions were strong but not strong enough to where it was “Baby Time.” That’s the worst place you could be in, that “in between” stage where you’re in constant pain but nothing is really progressing. That went on for two days until the doctor decided to induce her. We were told to report to the hospital on Wednesday night at 8 pm.
We checked in and began the process of…waiting. We figured that this would be the case, so we had come prepared. Our last stop on the way to the hospital was CVS. I had to make sure that I was nutritionally prepared for the event (i.e. sugar). In the hospital room, we got settled in and began watching season two of The Mentalist. I was comfortable and enjoying the show, but then the nurses came in and suggested to my wife that she walk the hallway in an attempt to speed along the labor. It only took one trip down the hallway for her to start complaining about the man’s role in child-bearing or lack thereof. I would’ve tried to comfort her but I was too busy enjoying a peanut butter snickers bar. I would have shared some, but she wasn’t allowed to have anything but ice chips. After several trips up and down the hallway, I got extremely bored and asked if we could go back to the room and finish season two of The Mentalist. My wife didn’t want to because she was determined to induce naturally.
After several more trips up and down the hallway, I started doing lunges just to stay engaged. The nurses looked at me like I was nuts but really, I was just bored out of my mind. Finally, when my wife gave up, we went back into the room. After we finished the last couple of episodes there was still no sign of little Joelle coming. Naturally my wife became frustrated and the pain wouldn’t stop. The nurses would come in every couple of hours to check on her. I know this because they were extremely loud every time they came in and woke me up from my comfortable sleep. I felt like telling them, “Could you please keep it down? I’m trying to sleep!”
By about 9 am in the morning, the pain and fatigue had simply become unbearable and Joelle wasn’t any closer to coming, so my wife decided to take the epidural shot- at least that’s what she told me because I was asleep when it happened. Finally, at about 3:30 pm, she was ready to go! The nurses mentioned it was getting close but I was half asleep so I couldn’t remember.
This is the moment I thought to myself, “Maybe I should’ve taken some of those birthing classes?” Then I reminded myself how much they cost and felt better immediately. I mean why should I take those classes when there is a team of professional nurses around making sure everything goes according to plan? I would only get in the way. If you’re wondering if I contributed anything to the birthing process, I did encourage her to “PUUUSSSSSSHHH!”
I had several people tell me not to faint and that one of the best ways to stay conscience was to not look down. I was pretty good at that until the very end. The doctor said, “She’s almost here!” My wife was exhausted by then so the doctor told her to reach down and feel her head. I thought, “Wait! Her head is down there?” I had to look myself and lemma tell ya, when they say don’t look down that’s probably a wise thing to do. I did manage to stay conscience and pretend I wasn’t completely grossed out. Once Katie felt her little hairy head, she found the inspiration to give it one last push and “POP!” came little Joelle at 4:15 pm.
No I didn’t cry. I did, however, cry at her first ultrasound and felt like that was enough crying. We had family and some friends visit to see the baby. It was fun to see everyone. I guess it’s a pretty big deal to have a baby. I had no idea. I would post a couple of comments and a few pictures on Facebook and immediately received a million “likes” and comments.
So let’s recap. Joelle was a week late, so we were all wondering what was going on. But as a result of her being a week late, I got to see The Dark Knight Rises the day it opened. The Lakers finished a trade for Steve Nash and the Dwight Howard trade rumors had died down. I was able to give my undivided attention to my wife and first child. A couple of weeks after Joelle was born we got Dwight Howard!!! It was the perfect storm for me. If having a child means we get two all-stars, then I’m ready to have another one again next summer.
If you’re looking for more my emotional reaction you’ll have to wait for Part 2 next week.
