The Essence of Christmas

In the midst of crazy shopping and the hustle and bustle let's not forget Christ is the reason for the season. Here are a couple of good videos to remind us of the substance of Christmas.

Christmas Flash Mob by Journey of Faith at South Bay Galleria




Here's a short film titled "That's Christmas"
We all know about the real Christmas. Don't we? Mary and Joseph. Away in a manger. Donkey. 3 wise men and the shepherds. Of course you do. You probably even played a shepherd or a wise man when you were 5.

Now you're older and it's all Noel Edmunds, booze, bills and unwanted visits to relatives.

This film brings Christmas back to it's roots. The real Christmas. Where the manger mings, the baby cries and where a star really shone. The Christmas that is for everyone, everywhere.

That's Christmas (Short Film) HD from St Helen’s Church on Vimeo.

Santa Clause is Coming to Town!

It’s Christmas break and I’m actually excited about Christmas this year. If you were asking, “Why wouldn’t you be excited about Christmas every year?” Well, let’s just say I had a rough background growing up that didn’t really nurture good feelings towards the holidays. A big part of my transformation for newfound Christmas appreciation is my friends and family.

My wife and I spend Christmas with her side of the family each year. My first “real” Christmas experience was 2008. After experiencing something like that for the first time in my life my first thought was, “Wow! White people really do have it good.” So the past two years, I didn’t really feel actively involved- not because my new family didn’t make that effort, but rather, it was I trying to get use to the idea of actually having a family tradition.

This year, however, I’ve already started my Christmas shopping and found some great gifts. Considering how much of a tightwad I am, when was the last time I actually got excited about spending money that wasn’t on food or Laker season tickets? Even after a few years I’m still learning how to be a part of a family. The process doesn’t bother me. Actually, it gives me a blueprint on how to start my own tradition when Katie and I start having kids ourselves (whenever that may be).

Look at that. It’s been three paragraphs and I haven’t even talked about the end of the NBA lockout, which, coincidently, will bring the beginning of the season on CHRISTMAS DAY!!!

Back to “White people have it good.” I realize that not all people look forward to the holidays because they realize, “Oh man, I have to spend time with family members I don’t like.” The holidays can be stressful for a number of reasons but I think that tops the list (my 2nd reason why the holidays are stressful is that pumpkin spice sucks). Who wants to spend their time off with family members they don’t particularly like? If I had to spend time with my psychopathic older sister it would send chills down my spine. So I get it. But is it possible to learn how to appreciate these times? If I did, I say yes.

Growing up within a fragmented family and trying to find my own way without much guidance or adult supervision was psychologically damaging. It took years for the Lord to heal the issues that bore from the whole experience and I probably still have more issues I’m completely unaware of. Whatever issues you may have within your own family, I encourage you to deal with them in a God-glorifying manner. Learn how to be an active member of the family. It’ll look different for everyone. But my excitement this year is both handing out gifts and giving the family devotion (which I’ll post here on Christmas morning). I think I’ll even use the Bible.

In any case, I hope and pray that the holidays will be a blessing for everyone and not just something to get over or simply punching in a timecard waiting to punch out. There are many wonderful theological implications for this season and it would be a waste to not see that during this time. I don’t want to give too much away from my devotion but I think you get the point. Even if your family is a nightmare, keep in mind at least the NBA is back.

What’s on TV?

I wrote this right before the NBA reached an agreement. I hope you enjoy it anyway.

With no NBA season in sight I’ve had several people ask me, “How are you handling it?” In short: not well. My wife is wondering if I need an intervention because I’ve been watching the same YouTube clips of the same basketball highlights over and over and over again. Well, since there’s been no NBA season I’ve tried to cope by seeing what else is on TV.

Football

I’ve been trying to watch more football both NFL and college. My wife, and her family, are diehard college football fans. Truthfully, I can admit that the atmosphere of a college football game is just absolutely amazing. It’s a big reason why the games are exciting because EVERYONE is into the game. It doesn’t matter if it’s 30-below-zero. People are showing up for their team and cheering like crazy. What drives me crazy when I’m at a Laker game is watching people texting, not paying attention to the game, or coming late and leaving early. Why spend all that money on gas, parking, and food in addition to your tickets when you could be doing all that at home for free? It kills me. It also takes away from the fans that are into the game. I don’t care what sporting event it is, I can’t stand apathy. It has no place in sports.

Having said that, I would blow up all of football in order to have my NBA back. Before you diehard football fans get mad just know I would understand if you were willing to blow up basketball in order to save football season. I’ve watched more college football this season than in my entire life combined. And still, I can’t name a single college football player. When it comes to the NFL, I’ve tried watching the games on Sunday but the games are right over our Sunday afternoon naptime. I can’t stay awake past halftime. I don’t know how you football fans do it.

Say “Yes” To The Dress

I’ve been over to the in-laws a couple of times when the women have taken over control of the TV, which is never a good thing. The father-in-law (aka The Big Daddy) is nowhere to be found. So what do the women watch? “Say ‘Yes’ to The Dress.” This is where my iphone comes in handy because I can totally disengage and be completely justified in doing so. I can just observe the women and notice how certain characters consistently annoy them. But don’t dare ask them, “If these people annoy you so much why are you watching this show?” I watched about 5 minutes of one show and felt my balls shrinking significantly. Would I burn every single wedding dress in America, except my wife’s of course, in order to get my NBA back? Let’s move on.

The Biggest Loser

My wife enjoys this show. I used to think it’s unfair. I workout all the time and have no shot at winning any money whereas fat people start working out and it becomes a show. What in the world? But then when I started watching the show hearing and seeing the story of how people’s lives have changed for the better when they started to live a healthier life it became fairly inspiring. There are people who had difficulty putting their socks on in the morning because they were so overweight. After they’ve gone through the program, they were able to go about their daily business without much labor and seeing how it positively affects their relationships is heart-warming. Let’s say “Yes” to healthy living and “Who cares” to the dress. I even asked my wife if it would be a good idea to gain 200 pounds in order to get on the show and win some money. She gave me the “H*** no!” look. Oh well. But after one episode I got bored and asked her to tell me who wins when the season was over. You can only take watching people struggling to run a mile for so long.

The Walking Dead

Season one is currently streaming on Netflix. When I was browsing and came across the show I said to myself, “Why not” which is strange because I’m not really into zombie movies. You know what? It wasn’t bad. The characters are interesting there is plenty of conflict and character development within the group of survivors that’s appealing. Season one was solid. Now we’re about at the half way point of season two and there’s just more drama. It’s turning into a soap opera with flesh eating zombies. Although the second season is attempting to add depth by way of asking the question “How in the h*** do we live in a world overrun by flesh eating zombies?” (e.g., do we have a baby or abort it?). Those are good topics to go over for the show but with less action and an even less sense of direction about where the show is headed my interest is waning.

Fringe

When I was still hopeful of an NBA season happening I decided that I wasn’t going to watch the new season of Fringe, which I already mentioned in a previous blog. Since then I decided to pick the show back up in hopes that it’ll be decent. In short, they finally found Peter Bishop (although the Fringe characters didn’t even know they were looking for him) and quite frankly, it’s been underwhelming. No one remembers who he is or where he belongs although he continues to help them with solving Fringe cases. For three seasons the show was building up the Olivia/Peter relationship only to start from scratch for season four. Sweet. If I wanted to spend time building a house only to tear it down I would build a house and tear it down.

There have been other shows I’ve watched briefly that aren’t even worth mentioning. I can’t believe the crappy shows that inundate the airwaves. If there were this much crap in our pipes we’d be calling a plumber. I’m convinced my buddy Bryan and I could write a better show. No, I take that back. I’m convinced my buddy Aaron and I could write better shows.

In short, I need my NBA and I need it badly. If only for sanity’s sake. I know more about the issues involved in the lockout than some of the players do (I’m not joking) and this lockout is indefensible and completely illogical. Why would the players trust their future in the hands of lawyers who stand to gain a great deal of money if litigation is long and lengthy while they are getting paid zero dollars, forfeiting 2 billion dollars, with no guarantee they’ll get a better deal? It makes no sense. It only makes sense if it’s because they take this business personally.

In which case, the players are that much more detached from reality. How many of their fans put up with difficult bosses because it’s better to have a job than no job at all? How many men and women put up with companies who treat them poorly because they have to provide for their families and can’t afford to risk losing their jobs during a struggling economy? I haven’t even mentioned the people who are without jobs. It’s sickening. You know what else is sickening? When this lockout is over I’ll be watching game one.

Thankfulness 2011

It’s that time for my annual “Thankfulness” list where I list things I’m thankful for in honor of Thanksgiving. Instead of writing out a list and explaining each item I’m going to do something different this year. During our list Grace Group (Home Bible Study) there was a reoccurring theme that came up of dealing with family tension during the holidays.

Some background: My perspective on the holiday season has changed throughout the years. Now that I’m a part of a wonderful, yet crazy, family I look forward to the holiday season. The only tension during family outings is the tension I cause, which happens to be pretty fun. I understand that it isn’t all fun and games for quite a few families. Growing up in a broken home without any type of real emotional connection or intimacy makes for a crappy holiday season- tension replaces harmony, awkwardness substitutes for stimulating conversations, and loneliness overtakes joy. Sometimes that’s just how it works in a Fallen world, but know God doesn’t want you to experience that.

Our church just finished preaching through the book of Colossians. The last sermon was fitting for addressing the very issues some of us face during the holidays. I’ll just give you the bullet points with some of my thoughts. The primary passage during the reflection service was Col. 3:12-17:

12 Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, 13 bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. 14And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. 15And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. 16Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. 17And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

1. Compassionate: "Bowels of Mercy" Love characterized by active heart felt mercy.
The “Bowels of Mercy” means mercy that is deep inside of you, turned out towards others. I can relate to this because it takes some serious digging for me to be compassionate. There are family members I just don’t want to show compassion to but that’s because I’m a jerk. So then, I need some serious “bowel” work.

2. Kind: Generous and warm-hearted, with a gracious, sympathetic disposition.
I think about my mom when I see or hear the word “kind.” She was “kindness” personified.

3. Humble: Considering others above ourselves and serving them. Not being overly impressed by a sense of your own self-importance. (Phil 2:3-8)
This was rather convicting because when it comes to people I generally don’t like I just avoid them. I never connected that attitude with a lack of humility or being too “self-important” to bother myself with people I don’t like or even people I don’t really know all that well. Humility reaches out to people, even the ones we deem unreachable.

4. Meek/Gentle: Tender, kind, and considerate; not cruel, ruthless, (might have missed some of this def.)
What a minute? We’re not supposed to be cruel?

5. Patient: Not easily provoked. Showing kindness to one who sins against you over a long period of time.
Regarding being patient, the part of the definition I get hung up on is the “over a long period of time.” How many times are we to forgive or put up with people’s non-sense? I wasn’t the only one. The apostle Peter asked the same question to Jesus (Matt. 18:21). Jesus replied with The Parable of the Unmerciful Servant, where it was clear you didn’t want to be that guy. Those who realize they’ve been forgiven much also forgive much.

6. Forbearing: to endure with others in difficulty of relationships. (1 Cor. 13:4-7)
What I said in #3.

7. Forgiving: Not exacting payment but freely and graciously treating someone better than they deserve. (1 John 4:10 and 1 John 3:16)
What I said in #5.

8. Thankful: Gratitude from the realization that all you are and have is from God. (Col 3:15,16)
Yes, so this blog comes full circle. This year the Lord extended my sphere of gratitude. I’m also thankful for the difficult relationships I have in my life because they’re all designed by God to help me be a servant extending the compassion given to me unto others. Everything comes from God, all of the wonderful blessings and the “apparent” bad that come into our lives. Either way, it’s all good.

Magic Defied Tragic

It's been 20 years since Magic Johnson announced he was HIV positive. Today I spent my lunch break reading reading articles about this very special day. It still brings tears to my face when I think about it. When HBO came out with the Magic Johnson and Larry Bird Documentary I wrote this:

Finally, there was Magic’s HIV announcement. After a physical before the 1991–92 NBA season, Johnson discovered that he had tested positive for HIV. In a press conference held on November 7, 1991, Johnson made a public announcement that he would retire immediately. He stated that his wife Cookie and their unborn child did not have HIV, and that he would dedicate his life to "battle this deadly disease." Johnson initially said that he did not know how he contracted the disease, but later acknowledged that it was through having multiple sexual partners during his playing career. At the time, only a small percentage of HIV-positive people had contracted it from heterosexual sex, and it was initially rumored that Johnson was gay or bisexual, although he denied both. Johnson's announcement became a major news story in the United States, and in 2004 was named as ESPN's seventh most memorable moment of the past 25 years. Many articles praised Johnson as a hero, and former U.S. President George H. W. Bush said, "For me, Magic is a hero, a hero for anyone who loves sports.”

I remember being in high school when Magic’s HIV announcement hit me like a frozen sledgehammer. Some of my female friends couldn’t understand why I was so depressed over it saying idiotic things like, “You don’t even know him, why do you care so much?” I just gave them the “You’re absolutely dumb and it would be a complete waste of time to even try and explain it to you” look and moved on without saying anything.

How would they ever understand the connection of a fatherless boy and his sports hero, the only positive male role model he’s known (at the time)? How would they ever understand how the heart of a man yearns for the inspiration of other greater men? How would they ever understand that all young men desire to be great but need personification of that greatness to see what it looks like? How would they ever understand the heart of a man seeks advantage and we live that advantage vicariously through our sports figure? Given the historical context, HIV was a death sentence. There was little awareness of how the virus could infect a person or how they could even live through it. “My hero was going to die,” I thought to myself. No high school girl will have the ability to understand this. And I don’t blame them.

Reflecting on the life of Magic Johnson, I began to realize how much of an impact he had on my life. As I get older I try and keep things in perspective. The reason he contracted the HIV virus was a direct result of his infidelity. But instead of hanging his head in shame, he become a spokesperson for HIV awareness. As a result, the general public seems more educated on the subject.

There have been mistakes I've made in the past where I've spend a great deal of time in despair. No I'm not perfect. Either was Magic Johnson, my childhood hero. However, how a person deals with tragedy could completely alter the path of the individual's life. Magic Johnson could've given up and simply laid down and waited to die. Instead, he turned tragedy into a symbol of hope. Whether you enjoy basketball or not I believe there is a lesson here for all of us.

Best Man, Worst Moment

In June of 2002, my buddy Dom, who I’ve known since middle school, married his beautiful wife Jessica (to this day I don’t know how Dom ever let his wife schedule the wedding over the NBA Finals). Bryan Benavidez was his best man and we know one of the responsibilities of the best man is to give the wedding toast. All week Bryan talked about how he was going to “bring the house down” with his toast. I emphatically replied, “Preach it!” Shortly after the ceremony, everybody began to settle at their assigned tables for the reception. Bryan calmly walked up to the front, with microphone in hand, squared himself to the audience in preparation to speak. I yelled, “Preach it brother!” which was quickly followed by a chuckle from Bryan. Personally knowing the full story of what Bryan and Dom had been through as friends, because I was there for most of those stories, for the first time in my life I was actually eager to hear what Bryan had to say. He began by saying, “I’ve known Dom for a long time and I’ve never seen him as emotional as I saw him last night.” As he attempted to continue, he was overcome by emotion, clearly welling up beyond what he could contain he raised his glass to the air for the toast abruptly ending his speech by saying, “Shall we?” while everyone awkwardly said “Uh, cheers?”

Here’s a recap of Bryan’s best man speech at Dom’s wedding:

I’ve known Dom for a long time and I’ve never seen him as emotional as I saw him last light . . . (raising his glass to the air) shall we?

I don’t think I’m overstating myself when I say Bryan’s speech didn’t “bring the house down.” Staying true to form, for seven straight years, I mercilessly mocked him like a pack of attention starved Middle Schoolers.

The wedding toast is a ritual expression of honor and goodwill towards the bridge and groom. Being chosen as the best man of a particular wedding is a great honor. By choosing a best man, the groom communicates, “Out of all the people that matter in my life, YOU are my closest friend and the person who I want closest to me on the most important day of my life.” Being chosen as the best man is an honor, which carries with it serious weight. There are many responsibilities that come with being the best man, but for the intended purpose of this blog, lets just focus on the Best Man Speech.

There are tons of things the best man does behind the scenes, not only during the wedding ceremony and reception, but in the weeks and days leading up to the wedding itself. However, when it comes to the wedding toast/speech, the best man is front and center for all those in attendance to see. Everyone knows who he is because he stood closest to the groom during the ceremony. This particular part of the wedding is extremely unique. It’s the best man’s moment to shine, not for himself, but for the groom. Meaning, if the best man does an outstanding job in giving the speech then it’s a positive reflection on the groom because the friends you have in your life are a direct reflection of your character. On the other hand, if the best man completely bombs in giving the speech then people are left saying “THIS guy is the best man? The groom must be a complete tool for picking him.” There’s really no in-between.

I’ve been to countless weddings and I can’t tell you how many botched best man speeches I’ve witnessed. As a man, it’s one of the most disappointing things for me to witness. A guy is given a great honor on the most important day of his best friend’s life and he couldn’t put more than 20 minutes of thought into his speech? Usually it ends up being completely juvenile filled with stories of childish behavior. I’m sure the bride’s parents appreciate those stories. I wonder how many “Wait a sec . . . are we really giving away our daughter to this jack@$$?” moments are at a wedding?

Sometimes the best man speech is completely incoherent- words come out of the guy’s mouth but there’s absolutely no sense of purpose or direction, just complete senseless babbling. You often see this when the best man gets nerves or is unprepared. I’ve yelled out, “Get a grip man! Breathe!!!” only to have my wife tell me to stop yelling at him because I’m making it worse. I’ve also witness the babbling go on and on and on because the best man knew he wasn’t making any sense but didn’t know how to end the speech. It was painfully awkward for everyone. I nearly walked over and pulled the plug on the microphone to put him out of his misery like Old Yeller.

In contrast, when my buddy Aaron got married he had the entire wedding party give a mini-speech at the reception. He told us in advance and gave us time to think about what we were going to say. My buddy Jordan and I immediately felt the weight of that responsibility. The wedding was in the East Coast and Jordan and I flew out there and spent the week with him. Every night before going to bed we had this dialogue:

Jordan: “Do you know what you’re going to say?”
Me: “No, do you know what you’re going to say?”
Jordan: “No, I'm not sure what I’m going to say.”
Me: “Me neither.”

We repeated this dialogue every night for the entire week. It was stressful because we didn’t want to sound like a couple of idiots and make Aaron look like a complete jack@$$. In short, when it was time for Jordan and I to give our speeches we did well. It was a great time and we couldn’t stop talking about the wedding and everyone else’s speech on the flight home because EVERYONE was thoughtful, articulate, and engaging. It made Aaron’s wedding that much more memorable. I often reflect about that time and how much it meant for me to be there for my friend. Furthermore, I can imagine how much it must of meant to Aaron, not only the “Thanks for not making me look like a jack@$$” but also “You’ve made the most important day of my life that much more meaningful not only for me but also for my family.”

This was a direct result of pouring in hours of thinking about what to say and how to say it. Jordan and I prayed for God’s guidance while bouncing ideas off of each other. We practiced and rehearsed the speech to each other and in our heads countless times, shaping and reshaping it until we were completely comfortable with the end product. Does it always come out the way you planned it? Of course not. There’s the need to “feel the crowd,” consider what have other members of the wedding party already said, and keep your emotions in check, at least enough to deliver the speech well. I went over all of those scenarios in my head taking into account how unpredictable emotions can be and adjusted accordingly.

Some people might say, “That’s a lot of work over a 3-5 minute speech.” My reply is that’s EXACTLY what you do to tell your friend “Thank you for this great honor you are giving me.” If there’s any film/movie/video you’ve ever enjoyed, know that those few minutes of your favorite scenes took hours to produce. That goes for speeches or sermons that have been moving, articulate, and engaging. It takes time to craft them. So you can imagine how disappointed I get when I hear other guys given such an honor at a wedding and run it through the mud.

My wife tells me, “Not everyone is gifted in public speaking so cut them some slack.” My counter-argument is, “No, not everyone is gifted in public speaking but at the very least I expect the person to be coherent, thoughtful, and well-meaning . . . and too often I see none of the above.” At least act like you’ve given it some thought. I mean it’s only your friend’s most important day of his life. Is that too much to ask? I say no.

I’ve given other wedding speeches before and it’s been an absolute blast. When I’m given a responsibility to add more meaning to the most meaningful day of my friend’s life, I take that seriously. I’m not sure if I’m “gifted” in public speaking anymore than a person who is “gifted” in lifting a lot of weight. If you walk into a gym and see a guy who’s benching 250lbs or more, your initial thought isn’t, “Wow that guy is ‘gifted’ in lifting weights.” No, you simply realize he’s put in the time and reps in order to be able to lift that amount of weight. It’s old-fashioned W-O-R-K. It’s no secret. However, there is the artistic element in giving the best man speech. Personally, I use this formula and it’s been extremely successful. If you’re ever given the honor as the best man, you could decide to use it if you want. If not, I won’t be offended, but when the time comes for you to make the speech, just be sure to make some da** sense.

The Intro.

The first element should be a catchy introduction that gets people laughing to loosen them up. This is important. People are on guard when they hand over the microphone to the best man because of all the non-sense I mentioned above. People are almost expecting you to be a jack@$$. When you lead off with some clean humor it relaxes the crowd. Of course you should always have a contingency plan if your joke falls flat. This is why getting feedback from friends and family would be helpful.

A Story

The second element is a good narrative that is unique to you and the groom, which gives insight into the groom’s character in order for others to know him better. Most guys talk about how long they’ve known the groom, “I’ve know _________________ since _______________.” But that doesn’t mean anything if you don’t attach a good story that reveals both the substance of your friendship and the contents of his character.

For example, at my buddy Jordan’s wedding I talked about the time when we were living in an apartment together during grad-school. We had a neighbor, a 22-year-old man who had autism. I mentioned he was extremely annoying. I didn’t mentioned this to be a jerk but to say that despite his annoyance, Jordan welcomed him in the apartment, befriended him, cooked him dinner, invited him to church, and even took him to a Lakers’ game. Basically, Jordan wasn’t just a nerd who studied all the time (although he is definitely a nerd who studies all the time). He cares about people and loves them with the love of Christ.

Let’s see how this story measures up with my formula. Is it a story unique only to Jordan and I? Check. Does it reveal the substances of our friendship (grad-students living for Christ)? Check. Does it reveal the contents of Jordan’s character to the audience? Check. I guarantee his wife’s parents were not thinking, “Wait a sec . . . are we really giving away our daughter to this jack@$$?” No, if anything, they felt even more confident in Jordan that he’ll take good care of their daughter by being a loving husband.

Personal Impact

The final element is the conclusion, which consists of how the groom personally impacted your life. At Aaron’s wedding, I mentioned all the times he spoke wisdom into my life and I highlighted the imprint it left. The wisdom and counsel he shared brought more self-awareness and an understanding of the circumstances surrounding whatever it was we were talking about. To this day I believe I am able to do that for other people and it's a direct result of having Aaron in my life. I feel like I have a part of all my friends inside my life. They help shape who I am, and not talking to them on a regular basis anymore doesn’t change that because the impact they had is everlasting. You can shape those three elements to your liking. But it’s important to have all three because it connects the audience to the groom through you.

Back to my friend Bryan for a minute. I mentioned that I ruthlessly mocked him for bombing Dom’s wedding speech. Even as I write this I almost feel badly about it . . . almost. Nearly seven years after that train-wreck of a wedding speech, Bryan received a shot at redemption in the form of speaking at my wedding (I had all my groomsmen say something). All my friends did great and I appreciated their contribution on the most important day of my life, particularly Bryan. He knew if he bombed this one I would be bagging on him when we’re in heaven with Jesus. He felt the pressure more than my other friends because I haven’t ruthlessly mocked anyone else for seven straight years. Despite the pressure, you know what he did? He used my formula without even knowing he was using my formula. He had a catchy introduction that got people laughing. He had a couple of short stories about his interaction with my mom when they would talk about me, a story unique to Bryan and I, which gave insight into the depths and substance of our friendship. There were times when the emotion of the moment appeared to be catching up to Bryan, but instead of attempting to talk through the raw emotion and sounding completely drunk and incoherent (like a certain sister-in-law of mine) he took a moment and patiently waited for the emotions to subside. Afterwards, he proceeded with the speech with great clarity. His timing, tenor, and tone were perfect. The transitions were smooth and he concluded the speech with how our friendship personally impacted his own life in a way that was meaningful and everlasting.

Of course I would never actually tell him any of this because I enjoy bagging on him so much. I have a reputation to keep. In short, the next time you are bestowed a great honor like being chosen as the best man of a wedding, take it seriously because if you don’t you’ll look like a jack@$$. And yes, I will be making fun of you.

4 years ago today - Mom went home.

Four years ago today my mom went home to be with the Lord. I've often reflect on the impact she had on my life and the lives of others. All the things my mom taught me I still hold close to my heart. And on this day I simply wanted to honor by reposting some of the blogs I've written about her through the years since she's been gone. My hope one day is to write a biography about her amazing life and journey. But for now, blogging will have to do.

Here's an excerpt from my mom's eulogy:

On October 30th of the year 2007, my mom went into the presence of God. She is now better off but the world is slightly dimmer.

There are times in my personal Christianity where the barrier between the present world, the world of our senses, and the next world of eternality seem thick. Sometimes it is failed expectations, my personal sin, or times where everything seems spiritually dry and stagnate. During these times God seems so distant and estranged.

Then there are other times where God’s presences never felt more real. Something happens that makes the wall of this present world and eternality seem inches apart, “and the things of earth grow strangely dim.” This is one of those times for me. I have never experience so much pain and peace, so much sorrow and joy, being extremely disheartened and yet abounding in hope. The pain of losing my mom so suddenly but the peace in knowing that she is with Jesus, the sorrow in missing my mom and her support but the joy in knowing that I will see her again, extremely disheartened because I wish I could have been a better son but hopeful knowing that she would want me to be okay and continue to serve the Lord and I will honor her in doing just that.

You could read the rest of it here.

During the second year without mom, I decided to write her a letter updating her with what's going on in my life. I didn't do this nearly enough when she was around.

Mom,

If you were still here, I would tell you about the beautiful wife who I married and how she’s an answer to your many years of prayer. I have no doubt that you would love Katie and her family (especially her mom, Lynn. I could see you guys talk into the night about whatever it is that mothers talk about into the night and laughing about stories of my foolishness).

You could read the rest of it here.

Here are a couple of random memories that came up as I was just going through life.

Normally I try to avoid the cafeteria at school all together because the lack of food quality is downright depressing. I could ensure you that when Junior Jr. comes along he will not be eating school lunches. Today, however, the cafeteria was serving corndogs. No they weren’t all that appealing. The corndogs triggered a fond memory of my mom. Every time she took my younger sister and I shopping at the mall, she bought us corndogs as a reward for enduring hours of wondering aimlessly through department stores. My feet were so swollen I couldn’t get the shoes off of them when I got home.

Then I started to miss my mom while I was thinking about this.

Click here to read the rest.

Here's one of my wife's Facebook post:

Jr and I were in Montebello today getting his car serviced and then getting both of our cars washed. When we got to the car wash, the lady inside greeted Jr enthusiastically, and gave us a little discount... all because she knew your mom. :) Jr and I both enjoyed laughing at the fact that even years later- at the car wash of all places- we get benefits because people are so grateful for your mom and who she was! I'm so sad that I never got to meet her here on earth, but I'm so grateful that I'll get to some day in heaven. She sure was a special woman. :)

Click here to read the rest.

One of the most amazing memories of my mom was how she led one of my uncle(s) to the Lord.

You could click here to read the story - A "Prodigal Uncle"

Most recently, I wrote about on my recent trip to Thailand impacted my life. I had no idea it would and the memory of my mom's life had everything to do with it.

Realizing that your nationality is a gift from God to use for His glory totally explains my mom’s passion for her people. She was an evangelist to the core but there was a particular passion for her people, Thai people. She was never prideful about being Thai, she just enjoyed it, loved it and cherished it. She didn’t have tattoos written in Thai (nothing wrong with tattoos, by the way). She didn’t marginalize people for not being Thai. It didn’t matter to my mom who you were or where you came from; if you didn’t know Jesus you were going to hear about Him. And even if you already knew Jesus you were still going to hear about Him. I’ve often said that if George Whitefield were an Asian woman he would be my mother.

Click here to read the rest.

I have to admit reposting these blogs got me a little emotional. Every so often I wonder how life would be if she were still around. I have deep regret she never met Katie or her family. I'm sadden she never lived to see her vision of becoming a missionary in Thailand where I have no doubts she would lead hundreds to the Lord (if not thousands). But God has a plan in all of this. And I trust Him fully. Maybe that's why handling her lose is possible because I know that God knows all these things. More importantly, my mom trusted the Lord and would want me to do the same. And that's the legacy she left and that's the legacy I'll continue.

A Tribute To The Single Life

This is looooooooooooooong over due. My intention was to start a series on The Christian Dating Scene, but I got side tracked on my way back from The Motherland. Sorry about that. This is my attempt to kick-start this series. I’ll start by giving a tribute to the single life. Yes, there were times during this era in my life when I was extremely frustrated. For example, seeing my friends getting married off like it was a speed-dating contest kept me wondering, “When is it going to be my da** turn?”

Of course that’s a reflection of discontentment. You’re taught as a Christian to be content in what ever state you’re in, especially if you’re single. However, finding contentment in your single life when friends around you are getting married, seeing that someone updated their relationship status to “engaged,” every time you log on Facebook, and watching a baby dedication at your church every two weeks can make finding that contentment seem like a daunting task.

Furthermore, when people who have been married for 20 plus years tell you to be content, your initial reaction is, “Easy for you to say, you’ve been married for 20 plus years.” You know the answer is to “focus on Jesus” but you’re tired of hearing it. You may be tired of hearing it but it’s true. Here’s a different way to look at it. What helped me during my struggles of wanting a wife was not focusing on what I didn’t have but what I did have. I had amazing friends who cared about the state of my soul. I had a wonderful and godly mother who loved me more than life itself. I was attending Biola University where my primary responsibility was to learn and study God’s word. That’s not a bad life.

During that time, I was able to attend youth camp with my previous church in Yosemite, go on a missions trip to New York six months after 9/11, go on a missions trip to Japan the year before that, and spend over a month in Israel, Jordan, and Egypt learning the geography of the Bible through Talbot School of Theology’s Bible Lands program. In addition, I was able to throw myself completely into my studies and completed two Master’s degrees in three years, went on a missions trip to Thailand, and made life-long friendships throughout my college career.

I understand people have girlfriends and boyfriends throughout college but that wasn’t God’s plan for my life. Maybe I would’ve been too distracted to pour into my studies, maybe I would’ve distracted a girlfriend (I sure distracted my roommates), maybe my life-long friendships wouldn’t have been as solid. There are a host of reasons when God didn’t bring someone in my life until after grad-school. But you know what? I don’t really care what those reasons were. The results are undeniable, which affirms God’s infinite wisdom, knowledge, and kindness towards me.

Giving myself completely over to the things God did give me resulted in their maximum enjoyment and everlasting effect. Had I spent the time moping about not having a girlfriend, it would’ve been a missed opportunity to get the most I could have out of my single life. Don’t get me wrong, I did spend quite a bit of time moping about not have a girlfriend, but by God’s grace I had good friends to slap me when I needed to be slapped.

It was a unique time and one that can’t be replicated. Learning how to connect with my peers with substance aided in personal self-awareness, discerning between authentic and shallow relationships, and ultimately prepared me to thrive in the marriage life. I’ve seen people rush into marriage only to see it disintegrate within a few years. There can be lots of reasons why a marriage fails. Ultimately, though, I couldn’t have felt more prepared for something as serious as marriage had I not taken my single life seriously. Single life is not simply, “waiting around for someone” in order to get married. It’s a staging ground to prepare us for responsibilities of a different kind, responsibilities that carry with them eternal weight and deep emotional consequences far beyond getting a C in class or simply getting through Finals week.

I’ve often heard married people say, “I wish I could’ve _________________ while I was single.” Standing at the altar with friends and loved ones before God and man, I looked back at my single life and said, “I did everything I’ve ever wanted as a single man. Now, I’m ready for the next chapter in my life.” I can tell you that my wife is glad I was productive during my single life. I hope more people at the altar can say the same thing because the single life can never be replicated.

Having said all that, I'm delightfully married and love my wife like no other. I don't ever want to be single again. I'm not "counting money in front of the poor" when I say that. Marriage life has been wonderful but I believe it's due in no small part to maximizing the opportunities I had in my single life. It's a gift that needs to be stewarded well, for if we are not faithful in the little things, how can the Lord trust us in the bigger things?"

11 For the LORD God is a sun and shield;
the LORD bestows favor and honor;
no good thing does he withhold
from those whose walk is blameless (Ps 84:11 - NIV).

McDonald’s Growth

After Morgan Spurlock’s documentary “Super Size Me,” (where he nearly committed suicide by eating McDonalds for every meal of the day for a month), the growing “health movement,” people being more aware of the contents of their food, popular shows like “Biggest Loser” and best sellers like “Eat This Not That,” you would think McDonalds would finally go bankrupt because you can only feed people crap for so long until they realize what they are actually putting into their bodies.

However, McDonald’s net income actually grew 9% in the last quarter. As a result:

Investors rewarded the news, sending shares up more than 3 percent to $91.96.
McDonald's has performed well throughout the recession and its aftermath, partly because the chain has managed to reshape its image from a burger-and-fries joint into a hip, healthy place to eat. The world's largest burger chain, which other fast-food companies often copy, has introduced new menu items like smoothies and oatmeal, remodeled restaurants, and converted more locations to 24-hour operations [emphasis added].

Jim Skinner, McDonald's CEO, goes on to say in a statement that the third-quarter results are "a clear indication that our strategy is working." I commend McDonald’s for their “outside the box” type of thinking and “reshaping its image” to align themselves with the sign of the times and readjusting to customer changes. They recognized people were saying, “Look, we’re not eating crap anymore.” This led to the reshaping of the company in order to meet the needs (or wants) of the customer. It seems so simple to me.

If it’s so simple then why can’t the NBA fix their current system and “reshape” things in order to gain revenue? I feel an angry tangent coming on so I’ll refrain. This doesn’t mean I’m going to start eating at McDonalds again- far from it. I’m 35 years old now, and I get sick just driving past a McDonalds. (Not to mention my wife would kill me if the food doesn’t kill me first.)

I simply wanted to point out the principle of being open to “reshaping” a company that has been successful for decades. (Of course, there will always be plenty of stubborn businessmen who resist change. I’m looking at you NBA. Okay that’s the last sentence on the NBA, I promise.). Whether you agree with the product they’re selling is not the point. Being a successful business for any length of time requires invention, flexibility, and creativity. We know that as customers whether we’re aware of it or not.

From an individual perspective we, too, can be stubborn businessmen who don’t want to change and feel like everyone else should conform to our ideas, which results in torpedoing our own business (like a certain professional sports league that shall not be named).

As I’m getting older I want to be open to creative ways in living my life. Maybe that’s why I’m studying finance. It’s a new field and a new challenge. I like thinking about new ideas and exploring them to their end. I love the fact the Bible does not mention “How” you should run a church service but “Why” you should have a church service at all. As a result, church service styles have changed greatly over time (the “How”) but at it’s core the substance has not, the “Why.”

Applying that principle in my own life, I have Bibles and sermons loaded on my iphone. During my commute time I turn off the radio and pray like a madman, which makes me wonder why I even bought a new car radio. I set aside a block of time just to make phone calls to my friends I don’t talk to on a regular basis. Sometimes they answer, most of the time they don’t. Sometimes they call back, sometimes they don’t. Either way, I’m calling because fellowship, connection, and drawing from other people’s perspective are important to me. It’s how I’m constantly “reshaping” my soul.

I don’t spend hours studying the Bible like I did in grad school but I don’t feel guilty about it either. Although I would still love to do that, I realize my current life-stage and situation simply doesn’t allow it. Consequently, I’ve had to be more creative with my time and use other inventions to grow in Christ, whether that’s listening to sermons while at the gym or working around the house, making phone calls to people I know I should be talking to, or praying whenever given the opportunity. I pray the Holy Spirit would give me creativity in that regard and the ability to "reshape" how I approach Christianity. It helps to know that the “How” in the “How I do things,” has changed but the “Why” in the “Why I do this,” hasn’t. I hope that makes sense.

The Avengers – Trailer

At the end of Captain America: First Avenger we had a teaser from The Avengers Movie releasing later this summer. I remember leaving the theater wanting to buy a custom of one of the characters but couldn’t decide which one. The Avengers Movie is the most ambitious comic movie to date. Ever since the release of Iron Man (2008) and The incredible Hulk (2008) fan boys have been anticipating the superhero team-up for years. Here’s the basic premise:

When an unexpected enemy emerges who threatens global safety and security, Nick Fury, the director of the international peacekeeping agency known as S.H.I.E.L.D., finds himself in need of a team of superheroes to pull the world back from the brink of disaster.

Now the first full-length trailer arrived a week ago and people are buzzing over the new footage. Rightly so, each of the main members of The Avengers have had their solo movies, so watching all of them on the same screen interacting with each other is pretty exciting.

I was never a big fan of The Avengers growing up, but the way Marvel Studios has set up this movie is unparalleled. I’ll sum it up in this short phrase, “I’m in.” I don’t really care that I didn’t read the comics growing up. I’m sold. The fact that any studio has this much balls to put up this much money (budget at $220M) while producing solo movies with separate origin stories for each main character shows me they’re serious about making a good movie.

This doesn’t mean I don’t have concerns about the movie. I realize that I’m only basing my concerns off of the first trailer, but it’s the only thing I have at the moment. Despite being a trailer I can still see potential problems along the way.

Concerns:

Is This Iron Man 3?

I really enjoyed the first Iron Man movie. Robert Downey, Jr.’s character Tony Stark was impressive. The journey of his transformation from a billionaire playboy to selfless superhero was compelling. Then Iron Man 2 came out and basically nullified everything good that happened in the first movie. Now I’ve seen plenty of sequels inferior to their predecessors, but it’s rare to see a sequel so awful that it torpedoed everything good about the original. That’s what Iron Man 2 did for me. It tainted the masterpiece that was Iron Man.

Seriously, how are you going to have a compelling transformation story of a narcissistic jackass turned sacrificial hero only to turn him back into an even worse narcissistic jackass in the sequel? Halfway through Iron Man 2, I thought their goal was to have us actually root against the hero. Mission accomplished.

In the Avengers trailer, Tony Starks is clearly pushing some of the other team members buttons and getting on people’s nerves. I hope this doesn’t turn into Iron Man 3. I understand you need diversity within a group in order to make them compelling. You also need that one wild card to stir the pot and make the team dynamically interesting in the way they interact with each other. Clearly, Tony Stark is that guy. But if he goes overboard and continues the narcissistic jackass rout, his character will simply be annoying instead of compelling.

Mark Ruffalo vs. Edward Norton (Hulk vs. Hulk)

The original 2008 The Incredible Hulk was a solid movie. Edward Norton as Dr. Bruce Banner was sensational. Norton is one of my favorite actors so I was excited when I heard he was cast as Banner. Then negotiations to sign on for The Avengers broke down, which resulted in Norton not resigning with the franchise. This led the studio to cast Mark Ruffalo to take Norton’s place. This is like downgrading from Dwight Howard to Andrew Bogut. Bogut is a serviceable big man but he’s not in D. Howard’s class. Ruffalo is a serviceable actor but not in Norton’s class. If you were going to pull out all the stops for a big budget movie you’ve been planning for years, wouldn’t you get the best actors possible, especially a movie heavily relying on previous origin stories as backdrop? So if Marvel is hoping that we won’t notice downgrading an A-list actor to a B-list actor they’re sorely mistaken. Whatever the issue was ($$$), Norton not returning as Dr. Banner was a big disappointment. Lets hope The Hulk spends more time as The Hulk instead of Dr. Banner.

Scarlett Johansson as Natasha Romanoff (aka The Black Widow)

After watching the trailer I asked myself, “I wonder how many times S. Johansson will use the flying head-scissors move on an opponent, end up in a couching position after finishing him off, and whipping her hair back like she’s in a Salon Selective commercial?” Because we didn’t see that at all in Iron Man 2.

I don’t want to give the impression that I’m not looking forward to the movie because I am. Here’s a list of things I’m really looking forward.

Tom Hiddleston as Loki

The Loki in the Thor movie was a spineless manipulating twit. When I heard that he’ll be the main villain in The Avengers, I thought, “How is that wimpy fool going to cause a crisis big enough to assemble The Avengers?” After some short clips from the trailer, it’s clear that Loki looks emotionally damaged, much more cynical, and extremely darker. He doesn’t look like the spineless twit in the Thor movie but someone really hell-bent on kicking some serious tail.

Speaking of Thor, there is a quick scene with Samuel L. Jackson’s character, Nick Fury, directly asking Thor, “What are you prepared to do?” No doubt this is an awkward situation for Thor with his stepbrother attempting to destroy the earth and all. I can already see T. Starks’ wisecracks about this situation, “Wait a minute! This dude is your brother?” It’ll be interesting to see how this all plays out.

Iron Man (The Suit)

I already mentioned my concerns for the character. What I’m really looking forward to is what Iron Man’s suit will be able to do this time around. In each Iron Man movie (or in this case a movie with Iron Man in it) there has to be some type of upgrade to his suit, right? Something new and cool we haven’t seen yet? The couple of flying sequences in the trailer looked great, especially for only a trailer. I’m guessing there will be an initial attack where Iron Man gets his rear end handed to him only to go back to the drawing board finding out ways to improve his suit and utilizing those improvements just in time for the final battle scene. Okay, this is fairly predictable, but still, it’s going to be good when it happens.

Tony Starks

The flip side of my concerns with T. Starks is he can pull off the wild card member well. He can give the team dynamic enough tension where the interactions between members won’t become static but more interesting while never crossing the “complete narcissistic jackass I can’t route for” line. There’s zero gray area with this character. Either the character is well written and Downey will pull off an amazing performance where the audience will be eager for Iron Man 3, or the character will pick up where he left off in Iron Man 2. Everyone will end up hating him (the other team members and the audience) because he’s the same old narcissistic jackass, and we’ll hope he ends up blowing up or dying in the final battle scene in a blaze of glory Scarface style so we don’t have to endure Iron Man 3. There’s no in between.

Jeremy Renner as Hawkeye

Jeremy Renner has become quite the big deal. In 2009 he was in The Hurt Locker (Nominated for Best Actor). In 2010 he was in The Town (Nominated for Best Supporting Actor) will co-star with Tom Cruise in Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol (and is rumored to take over the franchise) and will take over The Bourne Identity franchise in The Bourne Legacy. He’s had an amazing run and I don’t seeing it stopping with The Avengers. Renner’s character, Hawkeye, doesn’t have superpowers so he’ll rely on guile and wit (much like the comics). I’m looking forward to a plain human being kicking some super powered villains’’ butts.

If you’re wondering “How did you get all of that in one trailer?” Short answer: No NBA. What else am I going to do with my time? Here’s the trailer:

This Week In Movies - The Thing

The movie “The Thing,” which is actually a prequel to the original 1982 movie titled . . . wait for it . . . “The Thing.” I’m not sure how they expect us not to get confused. I enjoyed the original 1982 horror flick with Kurt Russell. He rocked in that movie.

Also, I remember watching it with my grandma who happened to love horror flicks, especially if they were B-Movies. For some reason she never did enjoy high budget horror flicks and probably wouldn’t be interested in most horror flicks made today. Na . . . Who am I kidding? She would love the horror flicks today!

As I became older and more importantly became a Christian, my taste for horror flicks faded. Don’t get me wrong, I still enjoy classics like Aliens and the iconic role Sigourney Weaver played as Ellen Ripley and the original 1987 Predator film starring our former Arnold Schwarzenegger and his kick-butt role as Major Alan “Dutch” Schaefer.

How many 80’s flicks to you still hear quoted? (e.g., “Get to the chopper!” “Come on kill me, I’m right here . . . DO IT NOW!!!”)

Anyway, what was I talking about? Oh yeah, The Thing coming out this week. Here’s a quick synopsis of the movie:

Paleontologist Kate Lloyd has traveled to the desolate region for the expedition of her lifetime. Joining a Norwegian scientific team that has stumbled across an extraterrestrial ship buried in the ice, she discovers an organism that seems to have died in the crash eons ago. But it is about to wake up.

Here’s “the thing” about prequels that I don’t enjoy. If we’ve seen the original movie, then we all know where the film is going to end up. Prequels by there very nature are predetermined. I understand watching the journey is part of the fun but it only applies to films with depth, character, and a compelling story. For example, even though most fanboys of the Star Wars franchise were disappointed by the prequels it was still interesting to watch because of the iconic characters the previous movies established (e.g., Darth Vader, Luke Skywalker, etc.). We wanted to know “How did they get here?” despite the fact that we knew where they would end up.

Ridley Scott is currently working on the prequel to Alien called Prometheus.

The film will be successful (financial speaking) for the same principles, which I mentioned above. The Aliens in Scott’s films were kick-butt wicked and downright scary as h***. Furthermore, Sigourney Weaver’s character, Ellen Ripley, empowered women to the degree that would rival the Feminist movement. So naturally, people are interested in the “How did the Aliens come to being?” because we’re interested in the aliens themselves and the aliens gave rise to Ellen Ripley who was a compelling character.

This bags the question, “Does The Thing carry the same weight?” Although Kurt Russell rocked the house in the original I’ll have to answer that question with, “very little.” Sadly, most Hollywood prequels these days are “cash grabs,” a sorry attempt to make more money and past success. I may check out the movie when it streams on Netflix but not before. And I’ll only check it out to pay homage to the original. But if you decide to go see it before it streams on Netflix, let me know if it stinks.

A review by ScreenRant is here.

Here’s the trailer:

Conversations Part II of II

For Part I click here.

We had a professor who talked about not “living life within parentheses,” which meant abstaining from the mentality that said, “If I get this over with then I’ll really start living.” Examples could include, “Once I finish college then I’ll start living my ‘real’ life.” Sure, then you’ll miss all the opportunities to build relationships and not see the character-building moments while you’re in college. Another example would be, “Once I get married then I’ll start living my ‘real’ life.” Actually, I thought this very thing in college. In short, it was dumb to think this. That’s not to say marriage hasn’t been wonderful because it has but to believe God’s end goal is to marry us all off is shortsighted (This topic deserves its’ own blog).

My buddy Aaron Brown has taught me a great deal, which is why I love talking to the guy. I remember bouncing theological theories and research topics off of him, as well as tackling the complexities of women together (the last being the hardest). Through our interactions I’ve often appreciated his wisdom and insight into the particulars. It was more than discussing abstract concepts few people cared about but about the deep condition of our hearts and how it affects our perspective. Often times I would vent my frustrations about something and he was almost always able to know what I was feeling but also explain to me why I was feeling that way. He never gave the pop psychobabble, “How does that make you feel?” non-sense. Aaron KNEW how I felt and he KNEW it was important to communicate why I felt those things and often times challenging me, in a tactful manner, to seek the Lord and find resolution with whatever issue I was dealing with at the time. He was always able to shine a light on the path I was traveling. I’m the one who still needs to travel on the path but it’s assuring to know you have friends to help you along the way. There are not many friends who offer a broader scope into life’s mysteries and Aaron Brown happens to be one of the many I have been blessed with. As we’re going through the same life-stages it’s important for me to maintain my relationship with him in order to gain more perspective about life and God. This is what I believe, ultimately, are the purposes of friendship.

I’m truly grateful the Lord brought me to BU and allowed me to harvest friendships that will last an eternity. If there’s a friend who has impacted your life that you haven’t talked to in a while, I’m sure they’ll appreciate a phone call. And you’ll be glad to give one. Besides, with no NBA basketball due to the lockout what else are you going to do with your time?

P.S. – There will be more reflections on my BU days in future blogs. Be on the lookout.

Conversations Part I of II

Now I’m just as busy as the next person and can easily get caught up with just “doing things” in order to get things done. As a result, I can just as easily forget what’s really important in life, namely, the people that matter most to me.

This past weekend I had a couple of conservations with some old friends who are extremely dear to my heart. I’ll never forget my time at Biola University and how pivotal it was in laying the foundation for the rest of my life. I was a young Christian, confused about many things regarding my faith (e.g., What is God’s calling on my life? How am I to understand and relate to God, intellectually and emotionally? What is the role of the church in my life? Etc.). Through the education in my classes and the mentoring of my professors at BU I was able to figure out most of those things. Of course that doesn’t mean I’ve figured them out exhaustively. But what it does mean is I have a strong theological and biblical foundation to build upon in further study, which I will continue to formulate and synthesize throughout my lifetime.

After graduating from college and entering in the normal hustle and bustle of “real” life you tend to forget the really important things in life because you’re just “busy.” What’s unique about the relationships I’ve developed at BU is that they bring into remembrance God’s entire transformative work in my life during that critical time. The community I still hold dear to my heart is a personification of my personal communion with God. So when I take a moment to speak with friends on the phone who may not live close anymore it forces me to calm down, forget everything else that’s going on in my life, reflect on all of the things I’ve learned at BU and turn my heart to the person on the other side of the phone because they’re the only person that matters at that moment. The close friends from BU act as a “Stone of Remembrance” for me, marking the faithfulness of God throughout my life. I’ve often thought about the many lessons I’ve learned from Aaron Brown. I also think about the conservations I had with Whitney (Uhler) Cox, hearing things from a woman’s perspective and trying to understand its’ complexities, which were many. Trying to figure things out on your own could be frustrating but learning within a community makes the journey worth it.

A couple of weeks ago, Whitney sent out a mass email requesting prayer for her son who was having some health issues (he’s okay now). Instead of replying to an email I decided to give her a call. We talked about all the things we appreciated about BU and the people God brought into our lives. Furthermore, we talked about the ever-changing life-stage most people go through, from being single and in college to graduating looking for a job, getting married, having kids and so forth. Upon reflection, it was ridiculous of me to ever complain about 8am classes or feeling like I never had enough time to get everything done. For some reason we believe that things get simpler as time passes. The exact opposite happens. Things don’t get simpler as we grow up they get more complicated, much more complicated. I understand that’s simply where college students are at and we were all there too. However, with some years under our belt, some time for maturation, and increasing perspective “stressing out” about exams and research papers seem small fry.

Through the conservation with Whitney, however, I realized it wasn’t a waste to “stress out” about typical college things. Actually, it helped lay the foundation for the next stage of life. Living with my roommates and having student responsibilities along with maintaining a part-time job prepared me for adulthood and the responsibilities of being a man taking care of his home. Each life stage you are currently in prepares you for the next. If this is true, then it stands to reason that by putting forth your best efforts in what ever stage you’re in, you’ll be better off when the next one comes.

For Part II click here.

Two Universals, Too Late? - Fringe

As the TV show Fringe heads into it’s third season we quickly find out the main premise is “Where in the h**l is Peter Bishop?” I don’t watch a lot of TV but I found the second season of Fringe fairly interesting. Here’s a quick summary of season 2’s premise:

In Season 2, the occurrences are found to be in conjunction with activities of a parallel universe, which is plagued by singularities occurring at weakened points of the fabric between worlds. The Fringe team deals with more cases that are leading to a "great storm" as the parallel universe appears to be at war with the prime one, engineered by human-machine hybrid shape-shifters from the parallel universe. Walter is forced to tell Peter that he is from the parallel universe, a replacement for his own Peter that died from a genetic disease, and that it is his prior experiments that caused the singularities in the parallel universe.

Did you get all of that? By the end of Season 3, Peter had entered a machine (one he could only use of course) and opened up the two worlds in order to have everyone work together instead of attempt to blow each other up to preserve their respective universe.

In any show you need an overarching storyline that helps drive the narrative. Within the overarching storyline there are “episodes” used for character development and background information while simultaneously developing the arch. The episodes themselves are essential but should never become more interesting than the overarching storyline developing in the background. As the season progresses the developing arch transitions from the background to the foreground thus revealing the conclusion of the season/story.

The problem in the Season 2 was that the episodes themselves became more interesting than the arch (e.g., parallel universe). After a while, every time an episode made in attempt to give insight into the parallel universe situation it became repetitive and fatiguing. I said to myself, “Alright, already!!! Hurry up and blow up one of the universes so we could move on!!!” At that point, I didn’t even care which universe was going to blow up or which Olivia ends up with Peter.

During this time, you followed Peter and tried to empathize with his internal conflict of which world in belonged to. You see his interaction with his father Walter and his increasing affliction for Olivia. You were pulling for his relationship with Olivia and found that his acceptance of Walter reassuring. You were invested in Peter (and other characters as well).

So guess what happened at the start of Season 4? Here is a summary:

Season 4 begins in an alternate timeline, one in which Peter did not survive his childhood illness in either universe, according to the Observers. Though major events in their past have still occurred to the main characters in this timeline, the exact means by which they occurred has changed without Peter's influence; Walter was released from the mental institution by Olivia, but without any point of stability, has become recluse and unwilling to leave his lab. The Observers note traces of Peter still appearing in this timeline and set out to eradicate them. Meanwhile, the Fringe division in the prime universe discover a new type of shape-shifter similar to those used by the parallel universe.

Sweet! So after being completely invested into Peter and wondering how the doomsday circumstances were going to play he simply “never existed?” Warner Bros. is playing with my emotions more than my ex-girlfriend. I was exhausted by the whole parallel universe situation AND IT’S STILL NOT RESOLVED!!!! Do they really expect me to watch an entire season of “Where in the h**l is Peter Bishop?” that might not be resolved by season’s end? That would be H**L NO!!!

I had high hopes for Fringe but if they’re going to play with my emotions like a crazy girlfriend then I’m playing the “We just need some space” card. I’m going to take a Sabbatical from the show until they resolve some of their issues. Once they “figure some stuff out” we’ll talk but not until then. So then, for now, please let me know if/when they find Peter Bishop. I realize that it could only take one episode but if they’re going to drag that premise out for an entire season I’m not sitting around and waiting.

The Motherland VII - Spiritual Adoption

For Part VI Click Here.

During my trip to The Motherland, my uncle’s love (aka The Thai Tycoon) and generosity towards me was overwhelming. I couldn’t believe how much he took care of Katie and I and the enjoyment he received from doing so. I thought to myself, “This is how my father should be treating me.” When I was a child, I remember my uncle starting from scratch. Now he’s projected to own half of Thailand by 2016.

On the one hand you have my uncle who started his own business and simply decided, “I’m not going to be poor.” Now he’s branching out and starting different business ventures for the mere challenge of it. Does he need more money? Of course he doesn’t. It’s about next adventures and starting something new and seeing it become successful.

On the other hand, you have my father who decided that gambling was the road to success. As if people winning built Las Vegas. There couldn’t be two sharper contrasts between my uncle and my father. “The plans of the diligent lead to profit as surely as haste leads to poverty” (Prov. 21:5 – NIV). My uncle inspires me. My father simply leaves me nodding my head.

Psychologists would charge me $300 per hour to inform me that I have a host of issues as a result of my family background. I went ahead and saved my money. It’s not that difficult to know when you have a father like mine you’ll probably going to deal with anger, bitterness, and resentment and have abandonment issues. I was a slave to those things. So imagine when I became a Christian and I read:

Because you are sons, God sent the Spirit who calls out, “Abba, Father.” So you are no longer a slave, but a son; and since you are a son, God has made you also an heir. (Galatians 4:6-7 – NIV)

You shall not mistreat any widow or fatherless child. (Exodus 22:22 – ESV)

He executes justice for the fatherless and the widow, and loves the sojourner, giving him food and clothing (Deut. 10:18 – ESV).

Father of the fatherless and protector of widows is God in his holy habitation. (Ps 68:5 –ESV)

These verses probably mean more to me than the average person who grew up with a good father figure. The Lord has healed much of my heart and has given me perspective through the eyes of His sovereign grace. I’m no longer chained to the slavery of abandonment nor ruled by a heart of resentment. I’ve been freed by a Spirit of adoption and filled with a heart of gratitude. I have a different Father and I am my Father’s son.

As an adult, there is victory in my life. I don’t need to follow the same path as my father. I now have a heavenly Father who knows me better than I know myself. But there is a question that remains. How will this affect me as a future parent? I’ve never had to deal with this question because the idea of parenthood was extremely remote. However, as that reality potentially draws closer, I will be faced with that question in the form of a screaming baby in my hands.

I’ve actually thought about this question some. I look at parenthood as an opportunity to see how I might’ve turned out if I had a good father teaching me the things that need to be taught to every child. I don’t fear parenthood as much as I make out. Although I admit this is a recent development. I embrace parenthood knowing it’s an opportunity to break a cycle of abandonment, to begin a different Jamreonvit legacy, and to be the father I never had but always wanted. That doesn’t mean I’ll be the perfect parent. Parenthood doesn’t require perfection but only the understanding of God’s grace poured into your life and how to impart that same grace to your children. That’s going to look different for every individual, for every household but that’s part of the fun . . . trying to figure these things out for yourself.

In conclusion, this trip to the Motherland was an awakening of sorts for me. It was awakening to the realities of who I was, who I am, and ultimately who I will become. Nothing in the past binds me. Yet, everything in the past binds me. How will this all play out? Who knows? God does. That’s why I’ll keep blogging because the fun is figuring this stuff out.

Thank you for all of you who read my blog and who have followed The Motherland series faithfully. I hope that it gives you insight into my life and that it was a source of encouragement. I pray that God ministered to you in some way and even give you some insight into yourself.

Praise Him.

The Motherland VI – Father to the Fatherless

For Part V Click Here.

There are very few moments in my life when I think extensively about my biological father. My thoughts towards him usually don’t last for more than a couple of minutes at a time. I have vague and unpleasant memories of my father. I also have vague and fragmented memories of my grandparents on that particular side of the family.

During this trip to The Motherland, I learned that my father was from a privileged background. Apparently, my grandparents did fairly well in life financially speaking. It made sense to me when I began putting some of the broken pieces together. The memories of living in a nice house only down the street from my grandparent’s nicer house started to become a little clearer. There were thoughts of my sister and I racing up and down the street and riding rafts to grandpa’s during flooding season.

However, there was one memory that stood out for some reason, namely, the memory of my grandfather’s funeral. It was in Thailand, and I was only a small child. I didn’t have very many memories of my grandparents. During the time of his passing, I just remembered my father being extremely sad. When someone loses a parent, sadness is a normal and legitimate emotional response. I didn’t have a problem with my father mourning over the lost of his father. But there’s a difference between mourning over the lost of a loved one and being completely aloof, coldly detached, and strangely distant from the rest of your family members.

People handle grief differently. I understand that. But the way my father handled his grief during that time was a foreshadowing of things to come. He didn’t take the opportunity to teach his son about the frailty of life, that everyone has a finite amount of time and that time shouldn’t be wasted. He wasn’t a pillar of strength for his family during a difficult time. He wilted under the despair, clearly seen by his son. It left an impression on a young boy beyond his years. Maybe he didn’t bother using it as a teachable moment because I was just a kid. Maybe he understood that those lessons would’ve been far beyond my ability to comprehend. Maybe he simply loved his father and no longer having him was just too much to bear.

If that were the case, those valuable lessons every son needs to learn never came. Incidentally, shortly after that time, I have little memory of my father ever being around. I’ve only met with him a hand-full of times in my life. From what my family tells me, he squandered his inheritance from his father’s estate, never was able to stick to a job, and had major gambling issues. He sounds like a real role model.

Maybe that’s why it was difficult for me to cope with my emotions growing up. Maybe that’s why it was hard to deal with rejection from girls in high school and college. Maybe that’s why it was burdensome to connect with my mom at a young age. It might be that my father never taught me these things. Worst yet, maybe my father DID teach me these things by being absent and detached. It’s no coincidence I was absent and detached throughout my teenage years. I tried to never take responsibility for myself and made every effort to look for the easy way out. I was my father’s son.

Throughout the years I would occasionally get a phone call from him. The phone calls were never “How are you doing?” type of calls. The phone calls were usually my father giving me some sob story of how he fell on hard times and needed some money. Sweet! As you could imagine, the phone calls didn’t last very long. A lasting memory of my father that I have burned into my cranium was the time shortly after my mother passed away. He called and said, “I’m sorry about your mother, do you have money I could borrow?” For a split second I actually thought my father had some decency in him after all when he said, “I’m sorry about your mother . . . “ but then when he proceeded to ask for money in the same breath I was speechless. He never asked me if I were dating anyone when I was growing up. He never asked how college was going. I didn’t hear from him when I graduated with two Master’s degrees from grad school. Not a word from him when I got married. He doesn’t even know I just bought a house. But when my mom passed away, her body not yet laid to rest, my father thought it was a good time to ask for some money. Amazing. I didn’t respond but simply handed the phone back to my sister Vicky.

I’ll never forget that phone call. It was the last time I spoke to my father. My sister Vicky refuses to give him my new contact information even though he’s asked several times. I think a lot about that moment more then I care to admit. The reason is because there’s a part of me that wants to ask him, “Do you have no decency? …no dignity as a man? Your son’s lasting memory of you is you asking him for money when his mother died. How does that make you feel?” I predict his response would be something like, “So does this mean you’re not giving me any money?”

For the conclusion to The Motherland series click here.

Be Anxious In Everything

As the school year gets into full swing with the mounting responsibilities that follow, I’m sure I’ll find things to be stressed out about and convince myself that I have it bad. The reality, however, is that God’s goodness and mercy pours over me every waking minute of my life.

Eat Drink and Be Marry

But lets indulge the “stressful” areas of life for a minute and come back to God’s goodness later. First off, I just found out that my favorite restaurant made the “Worst Restaurant in American” list. Sweet! Now every time I invite friends to Cheesecake Factory, instead of it being a beloved gesture of communion and fellowship it’ll suggest to friends and family “Wait a minute! You’re inviting us to the WORST restaurant in America!” Look, I don’t care how these people came up with this list. The food their rocks! I don’t care if each slice of cheesecake has enough calories to feed a small village for a month. If I cared about my health at that particular moment, I wouldn’t be going to Cheesecake Factory.

In the same vein, Jesus was against drunkenness. However in the 2nd chapter of the gospel of John, Jesus turned water into wine. Why? If He were against drunkenness this would seem counterproductive. But it wasn’t… because it was a wedding and weddings call for cerebration (Cerebration = Wine). So if you’re going to cerebration with friends and/or family, it won’t hurt to have a slice of cheesecake every now and again, just don’t get drunk off the cheesecake and we’ll be fine.

Death and Taxes

Secondly, I recently started a Tax class that H & R Block offers. This is preparation for my Tax class for the CFP program at UCLA. After attending the first class session I thought to myself, “What the h**l did I get myself into?” The class meets on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday nights from 6pm-9pm. Usually, classes that meet really late at night let you out early. So does this class let you out early? Nope. It’s going to be intense, and I have no background in the subject. In addition, the President’s proposed tax plan is going to almost make this class irrelevant because of the potential changes. Consequently, the proposed tax plan has also made the stock market extremely volatile, which could have long-term affects on the already slowly recovering economy. This is stressing me out on two fronts. First, I have investments both long and short-term that will be effected by this plan, namely, getting screwed by taxes and I’m not even in the “wealthy bracket.” Secondly, this will discourage other people from investing because they’ll get screwed over in taxes, thus slowing the economic recovery while making the market stagnate at best or send it plummeting back down at worst. Sweet! Never thought I’d see the day when I actually cared about politics. My wife is rubbing off on me.

Moreover, as if the class wasn't stressful already, there are people in the class who talk very loudly. I can't believe there are full-grown adults are so oblivious to their surroundings. This class goes until Thanksgiving. What's the over/under in weeks before I punch someone's lights out? Three? Four? Four and a half? How do you kindly say, "Shut up . . . you're getting on everyone's nerves and you don't even realize it!" to someone? Please enlighten me.

Life Without NBA Basketball

Third of my list is the fact that the NBA is nearing the third month of the lockout and training camp is only two weeks away. The entire season could be canceled if the owners and players don’t come to a solution quickly.

I grew up in the heart of East Los Angeles with my buddies Dom and Bryan. None of us had any Christian influence, and Dom and I were from broken homes. Bryan was Bryan. Given the facts, you’d think that we would end up dead at a very young age. However, by God’s sovereign grace and mercy we ended up turning out semi-okay (Well, at least Dom and I did anyway).

One of the ways that the Lord kept us from getting in trouble was giving us a love for basketball. Although we still managed to still find a fair share of trouble, I could only imagine if we didn’t have basketball the kind of trouble we would’ve been in. The love for the game wasn’t restricted to just playing, even though we worked hard and put in several hours of play well. We also loved watching the game at the highest level. And the highest level of basketball is the National Basketball Association (“The Association” for short).

I know I’ve had friends and relatives tell me before about how much they dislike the NBA for whatever silly reason, but I really don’t care about their opinion. Loving The Association helped keep my boys and I out of trouble during a time when we were young and vulnerable, living in a place where trouble seeks out victims to consume. Instead of going out and getting in trouble we got together to watch games. It’s no coincidence that we most often got into trouble during the off-season when we had more time on our hands. So, The Association has some meaning for me well beyond a mere game. It helped unify and strengthen friendships that I still have today. It gave me heroes to look up to when I had no father figure. It gave me fond memories of my mother and I going to Laker games together. It gives me a starting point to initiate conservation with other basketball fans and build relationships. It gives me the perspective of viewing basketball as not only a sport but also an Art to be appreciated. Finally, the life lessons that can be drawn from the game are too numerous to count.

Now as the current NBA Lockout threatens the 2011-2012 season, I’m supposed to sit back and not care? If you think that, then I don’t know what you’re smoking but I have to cry “Foul!”

The other night I was watching my father-in-law (aka Big Pappa) go on a college football binge with his buddy from church. After the third straight college football game both of them were dosing in and out of la la land looking like they were about to fall into a coma. It made me think about the days when I went basketball bingeing. I miss basketball. This lockout has been like a dark cloud over my head the entire summer. Now that we’re about to start losing actual games, I feel this big hole right in the middle of me.

I check out ESPN’s website for updated news, and even the website is getting awkward because they’re trying to scrape up material to write and all they can do is rank all 450 NBA players. Like I care about who is ranked 421st in the league, really? Some of you might be saying, “Why don’t you just watch college basketball?” My reply would be, “Did you see the championship game, Butler vs. UConn, last year?” That was some of the ugliest basketball I’ve ever seen. Kevin Durant would’ve scored 125 points in that game. I don’t want to settle for JV. I want to see basketball at the highest level and that means NBA basketball!

My mother-in-law has already asked me what I am going to do without basketball. For the first time in my life, I had no answer, no comment, no quick-witted humor, no response, no comeback, nothing! I searched and searched. Still nothing. I simply have no comeback when billionaires and millionaires don't know how to split 4.5 billion dollars annually during an economy so crippled that unemployment rates are highest in decades. It's indefensible and down right depressing for the NBA fan. Especially if I can't even offer a witty comeback.

Perspective

Are there bigger problems in the world? Of course there are. Sometimes we get so caught up in our little world that we forget the struggles of others and fail to see the blessings, which are right in front of our faces. As I mentioned before, I am showered by the goodness of God every day of my life. Every breath is a gift from Him. I have a good job teaching young children not only academics but also social skills that will help them function in real world situations. I have the most beautiful and wonderful wife in the world who puts up with all my non-sense. I have a great church and godly leaders who also put up with all my non-sense. And I don’t think I could ask for a better group of friends even though they’re currently scattered throughout the United States.

I know that I want to pour myself into the lives of other young men, feeling as if they could benefit from the theological training I received from Biola University and Talbot School of Theology. There are always seasons when things get rough but they’re always for a purpose. The Lord doesn’t allow for “randomness.” There’s a purpose in everything that happens and knowing that God is both sovereign AND good, we can rest assured and confidently say, “I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us” (Rom. 8:18 – NIV).

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. (Philippians 4:6)