Saturday, November 26, 2011

What’s on TV?




I wrote this right before the NBA reached an agreement. I hope you enjoy it anyway.

With no NBA season in sight I’ve had several people ask me, “How are you handling it?” In short: not well. My wife is wondering if I need an intervention because I’ve been watching the same YouTube clips of the same basketball highlights over and over and over again. Well, since there’s been no NBA season I’ve tried to cope by seeing what else is on TV.

Football

I’ve been trying to watch more football both NFL and college. My wife, and her family, are diehard college football fans. Truthfully, I can admit that the atmosphere of a college football game is just absolutely amazing. It’s a big reason why the games are exciting because EVERYONE is into the game. It doesn’t matter if it’s 30-below-zero. People are showing up for their team and cheering like crazy. What drives me crazy when I’m at a Laker game is watching people texting, not paying attention to the game, or coming late and leaving early. Why spend all that money on gas, parking, and food in addition to your tickets when you could be doing all that at home for free? It kills me. It also takes away from the fans that are into the game. I don’t care what sporting event it is, I can’t stand apathy. It has no place in sports.

Having said that, I would blow up all of football in order to have my NBA back. Before you diehard football fans get mad just know I would understand if you were willing to blow up basketball in order to save football season. I’ve watched more college football this season than in my entire life combined. And still, I can’t name a single college football player. When it comes to the NFL, I’ve tried watching the games on Sunday but the games are right over our Sunday afternoon naptime. I can’t stay awake past halftime. I don’t know how you football fans do it.

Say “Yes” To The Dress

I’ve been over to the in-laws a couple of times when the women have taken over control of the TV, which is never a good thing. The father-in-law (aka The Big Daddy) is nowhere to be found. So what do the women watch? “Say ‘Yes’ to The Dress.” This is where my iphone comes in handy because I can totally disengage and be completely justified in doing so. I can just observe the women and notice how certain characters consistently annoy them. But don’t dare ask them, “If these people annoy you so much why are you watching this show?” I watched about 5 minutes of one show and felt my balls shrinking significantly. Would I burn every single wedding dress in America, except my wife’s of course, in order to get my NBA back? Let’s move on.

The Biggest Loser

My wife enjoys this show. I used to think it’s unfair. I workout all the time and have no shot at winning any money whereas fat people start working out and it becomes a show. What in the world? But then when I started watching the show hearing and seeing the story of how people’s lives have changed for the better when they started to live a healthier life it became fairly inspiring. There are people who had difficulty putting their socks on in the morning because they were so overweight. After they’ve gone through the program, they were able to go about their daily business without much labor and seeing how it positively affects their relationships is heart-warming. Let’s say “Yes” to healthy living and “Who cares” to the dress. I even asked my wife if it would be a good idea to gain 200 pounds in order to get on the show and win some money. She gave me the “H*** no!” look. Oh well. But after one episode I got bored and asked her to tell me who wins when the season was over. You can only take watching people struggling to run a mile for so long.

The Walking Dead

Season one is currently streaming on Netflix. When I was browsing and came across the show I said to myself, “Why not” which is strange because I’m not really into zombie movies. You know what? It wasn’t bad. The characters are interesting there is plenty of conflict and character development within the group of survivors that’s appealing. Season one was solid. Now we’re about at the half way point of season two and there’s just more drama. It’s turning into a soap opera with flesh eating zombies. Although the second season is attempting to add depth by way of asking the question “How in the h*** do we live in a world overrun by flesh eating zombies?” (e.g., do we have a baby or abort it?). Those are good topics to go over for the show but with less action and an even less sense of direction about where the show is headed my interest is waning.

Fringe

When I was still hopeful of an NBA season happening I decided that I wasn’t going to watch the new season of Fringe, which I already mentioned in a previous blog. Since then I decided to pick the show back up in hopes that it’ll be decent. In short, they finally found Peter Bishop (although the Fringe characters didn’t even know they were looking for him) and quite frankly, it’s been underwhelming. No one remembers who he is or where he belongs although he continues to help them with solving Fringe cases. For three seasons the show was building up the Olivia/Peter relationship only to start from scratch for season four. Sweet. If I wanted to spend time building a house only to tear it down I would build a house and tear it down.

There have been other shows I’ve watched briefly that aren’t even worth mentioning. I can’t believe the crappy shows that inundate the airwaves. If there were this much crap in our pipes we’d be calling a plumber. I’m convinced my buddy Bryan and I could write a better show. No, I take that back. I’m convinced my buddy Aaron and I could write better shows.

In short, I need my NBA and I need it badly. If only for sanity’s sake. I know more about the issues involved in the lockout than some of the players do (I’m not joking) and this lockout is indefensible and completely illogical. Why would the players trust their future in the hands of lawyers who stand to gain a great deal of money if litigation is long and lengthy while they are getting paid zero dollars, forfeiting 2 billion dollars, with no guarantee they’ll get a better deal? It makes no sense. It only makes sense if it’s because they take this business personally.

In which case, the players are that much more detached from reality. How many of their fans put up with difficult bosses because it’s better to have a job than no job at all? How many men and women put up with companies who treat them poorly because they have to provide for their families and can’t afford to risk losing their jobs during a struggling economy? I haven’t even mentioned the people who are without jobs. It’s sickening. You know what else is sickening? When this lockout is over I’ll be watching game one.

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