1st Anniversary

I wrote how wonderful my marriage was going at the sixth month point. This past weekend the wife and I just experienced our first anniversary together. Marriage is truly a wonderful thing. Most people throw out the clichés of “You’re going to learn how selfish you are,” and “It’s going to take a lot of sacrifice for the marriage to work.” First of all I already know how selfish I am. I am extremely selfish. No surprises there. I already knew that marriage required a lot of “sacrifice” in order for it to “work.” Not breaking any new ground there, Aristotle.

It’s been a great first year. I feel like I love my wife more today than the day I married her. She takes wonderful care of me and does it with such joy. I absolutely cherish her and still admire her for the very same qualities that made me fall in love with her. Through a year of being married, I just see those qualities that much more clearly. It’s fun to get to know her more and see what makes her tick. We still talk about the same things that we talked about while we were dating. She supports me in my decisions and encourages me when I want to shot myself during education classes. When I act like a jerk she gives me the “You’re acting like a jerk but I’m not going to say anything and just let you realize it for yourself” face. Ten times out of ten, I do realize that I’m a jerk and that she’s right. Amazing.

She is a constant reminder of God’s grace and kindness. When I have doubts of God’s goodness or wonder if He has my best interest in mind, I only need to look at my wife to dispel those doubts about God and to bolster my faith in Him.

The relationships I’ve had in the past were crappy. The reason being is that immature love is exhausting but true mature love is empowering and can lift you up when you’re down in the dumps. Now if there is something I have learned through marriage is the “empowering love” factor. As a young guy you don’t always recognize when you’re in a bad relationship because . . . well . . . you’re young and your stupid. Here’s a hint, if you’re constantly exhausted by the relationship it’s a bad one. And I’m not talking about just the first two weeks I’m talking about well after the “honeymoon stage.” If I had known this as a teenager I would have saved myself a lot of grief.

All the pressures of being a teacher by day and taking teaching credential classes at night, while studying for exams to remain a teacher, without my wife I would have lost my mind and gone “Into the Wild” Christopher McCandless style (But instead of eating a wild potato root with poisonous fungus or dying of starvation I would have decided to take down a bear with only a knife. Story Telling Mode: While standing toe to toe with the Beast I lunge at it stabbing him in his left eye. Fuming in rage the Beast retaliates by sinking his teeth into my left shoulder. The penetration was too deep and the lost of blood too plentiful, there was no way of escape. As I laid there with the lost of blood mounting gasping for air, the Beast standing over my body in wounded triumph, savors this victory knowing he had not met such an adversity as I. As I take my last few breaths I am grateful for I no longer have to take education classes. – Or something like that anyway.). I digress.

There are two lessons to be learned here (1) mature love is empowering and can sustain you through some tough times. (2) If I weren’t married I’d be fighting a bear out in the wild somewhere and get myself killed.

Katie,

Happy anniversary honey. I can’t tell you how much you mean to me or how much I love you. I have a lump in my throat just typing this. I know it’s the Lord who sustains His children but He’s given me you as a vessel of His sustaining power and I will forever be grateful. Thank you for a wonderful year of being my support, my friend, my helpmate, and my beautiful wife.

Junior J

P.S. – Sorry about leaving the dishes but I was going to do them when I got home but you got there first. And I think the dog needs a walk too, thanks.