4 years ago today - Mom went home.

Four years ago today my mom went home to be with the Lord. I've often reflect on the impact she had on my life and the lives of others. All the things my mom taught me I still hold close to my heart. And on this day I simply wanted to honor by reposting some of the blogs I've written about her through the years since she's been gone. My hope one day is to write a biography about her amazing life and journey. But for now, blogging will have to do.

Here's an excerpt from my mom's eulogy:

On October 30th of the year 2007, my mom went into the presence of God. She is now better off but the world is slightly dimmer.

There are times in my personal Christianity where the barrier between the present world, the world of our senses, and the next world of eternality seem thick. Sometimes it is failed expectations, my personal sin, or times where everything seems spiritually dry and stagnate. During these times God seems so distant and estranged.

Then there are other times where God’s presences never felt more real. Something happens that makes the wall of this present world and eternality seem inches apart, “and the things of earth grow strangely dim.” This is one of those times for me. I have never experience so much pain and peace, so much sorrow and joy, being extremely disheartened and yet abounding in hope. The pain of losing my mom so suddenly but the peace in knowing that she is with Jesus, the sorrow in missing my mom and her support but the joy in knowing that I will see her again, extremely disheartened because I wish I could have been a better son but hopeful knowing that she would want me to be okay and continue to serve the Lord and I will honor her in doing just that.

You could read the rest of it here.

During the second year without mom, I decided to write her a letter updating her with what's going on in my life. I didn't do this nearly enough when she was around.

Mom,

If you were still here, I would tell you about the beautiful wife who I married and how she’s an answer to your many years of prayer. I have no doubt that you would love Katie and her family (especially her mom, Lynn. I could see you guys talk into the night about whatever it is that mothers talk about into the night and laughing about stories of my foolishness).

You could read the rest of it here.

Here are a couple of random memories that came up as I was just going through life.

Normally I try to avoid the cafeteria at school all together because the lack of food quality is downright depressing. I could ensure you that when Junior Jr. comes along he will not be eating school lunches. Today, however, the cafeteria was serving corndogs. No they weren’t all that appealing. The corndogs triggered a fond memory of my mom. Every time she took my younger sister and I shopping at the mall, she bought us corndogs as a reward for enduring hours of wondering aimlessly through department stores. My feet were so swollen I couldn’t get the shoes off of them when I got home.

Then I started to miss my mom while I was thinking about this.

Click here to read the rest.

Here's one of my wife's Facebook post:

Jr and I were in Montebello today getting his car serviced and then getting both of our cars washed. When we got to the car wash, the lady inside greeted Jr enthusiastically, and gave us a little discount... all because she knew your mom. :) Jr and I both enjoyed laughing at the fact that even years later- at the car wash of all places- we get benefits because people are so grateful for your mom and who she was! I'm so sad that I never got to meet her here on earth, but I'm so grateful that I'll get to some day in heaven. She sure was a special woman. :)

Click here to read the rest.

One of the most amazing memories of my mom was how she led one of my uncle(s) to the Lord.

You could click here to read the story - A "Prodigal Uncle"

Most recently, I wrote about on my recent trip to Thailand impacted my life. I had no idea it would and the memory of my mom's life had everything to do with it.

Realizing that your nationality is a gift from God to use for His glory totally explains my mom’s passion for her people. She was an evangelist to the core but there was a particular passion for her people, Thai people. She was never prideful about being Thai, she just enjoyed it, loved it and cherished it. She didn’t have tattoos written in Thai (nothing wrong with tattoos, by the way). She didn’t marginalize people for not being Thai. It didn’t matter to my mom who you were or where you came from; if you didn’t know Jesus you were going to hear about Him. And even if you already knew Jesus you were still going to hear about Him. I’ve often said that if George Whitefield were an Asian woman he would be my mother.

Click here to read the rest.

I have to admit reposting these blogs got me a little emotional. Every so often I wonder how life would be if she were still around. I have deep regret she never met Katie or her family. I'm sadden she never lived to see her vision of becoming a missionary in Thailand where I have no doubts she would lead hundreds to the Lord (if not thousands). But God has a plan in all of this. And I trust Him fully. Maybe that's why handling her lose is possible because I know that God knows all these things. More importantly, my mom trusted the Lord and would want me to do the same. And that's the legacy she left and that's the legacy I'll continue.

A Tribute To The Single Life

This is looooooooooooooong over due. My intention was to start a series on The Christian Dating Scene, but I got side tracked on my way back from The Motherland. Sorry about that. This is my attempt to kick-start this series. I’ll start by giving a tribute to the single life. Yes, there were times during this era in my life when I was extremely frustrated. For example, seeing my friends getting married off like it was a speed-dating contest kept me wondering, “When is it going to be my da** turn?”

Of course that’s a reflection of discontentment. You’re taught as a Christian to be content in what ever state you’re in, especially if you’re single. However, finding contentment in your single life when friends around you are getting married, seeing that someone updated their relationship status to “engaged,” every time you log on Facebook, and watching a baby dedication at your church every two weeks can make finding that contentment seem like a daunting task.

Furthermore, when people who have been married for 20 plus years tell you to be content, your initial reaction is, “Easy for you to say, you’ve been married for 20 plus years.” You know the answer is to “focus on Jesus” but you’re tired of hearing it. You may be tired of hearing it but it’s true. Here’s a different way to look at it. What helped me during my struggles of wanting a wife was not focusing on what I didn’t have but what I did have. I had amazing friends who cared about the state of my soul. I had a wonderful and godly mother who loved me more than life itself. I was attending Biola University where my primary responsibility was to learn and study God’s word. That’s not a bad life.

During that time, I was able to attend youth camp with my previous church in Yosemite, go on a missions trip to New York six months after 9/11, go on a missions trip to Japan the year before that, and spend over a month in Israel, Jordan, and Egypt learning the geography of the Bible through Talbot School of Theology’s Bible Lands program. In addition, I was able to throw myself completely into my studies and completed two Master’s degrees in three years, went on a missions trip to Thailand, and made life-long friendships throughout my college career.

I understand people have girlfriends and boyfriends throughout college but that wasn’t God’s plan for my life. Maybe I would’ve been too distracted to pour into my studies, maybe I would’ve distracted a girlfriend (I sure distracted my roommates), maybe my life-long friendships wouldn’t have been as solid. There are a host of reasons when God didn’t bring someone in my life until after grad-school. But you know what? I don’t really care what those reasons were. The results are undeniable, which affirms God’s infinite wisdom, knowledge, and kindness towards me.

Giving myself completely over to the things God did give me resulted in their maximum enjoyment and everlasting effect. Had I spent the time moping about not having a girlfriend, it would’ve been a missed opportunity to get the most I could have out of my single life. Don’t get me wrong, I did spend quite a bit of time moping about not have a girlfriend, but by God’s grace I had good friends to slap me when I needed to be slapped.

It was a unique time and one that can’t be replicated. Learning how to connect with my peers with substance aided in personal self-awareness, discerning between authentic and shallow relationships, and ultimately prepared me to thrive in the marriage life. I’ve seen people rush into marriage only to see it disintegrate within a few years. There can be lots of reasons why a marriage fails. Ultimately, though, I couldn’t have felt more prepared for something as serious as marriage had I not taken my single life seriously. Single life is not simply, “waiting around for someone” in order to get married. It’s a staging ground to prepare us for responsibilities of a different kind, responsibilities that carry with them eternal weight and deep emotional consequences far beyond getting a C in class or simply getting through Finals week.

I’ve often heard married people say, “I wish I could’ve _________________ while I was single.” Standing at the altar with friends and loved ones before God and man, I looked back at my single life and said, “I did everything I’ve ever wanted as a single man. Now, I’m ready for the next chapter in my life.” I can tell you that my wife is glad I was productive during my single life. I hope more people at the altar can say the same thing because the single life can never be replicated.

Having said all that, I'm delightfully married and love my wife like no other. I don't ever want to be single again. I'm not "counting money in front of the poor" when I say that. Marriage life has been wonderful but I believe it's due in no small part to maximizing the opportunities I had in my single life. It's a gift that needs to be stewarded well, for if we are not faithful in the little things, how can the Lord trust us in the bigger things?"

11 For the LORD God is a sun and shield;
the LORD bestows favor and honor;
no good thing does he withhold
from those whose walk is blameless (Ps 84:11 - NIV).

McDonald’s Growth

After Morgan Spurlock’s documentary “Super Size Me,” (where he nearly committed suicide by eating McDonalds for every meal of the day for a month), the growing “health movement,” people being more aware of the contents of their food, popular shows like “Biggest Loser” and best sellers like “Eat This Not That,” you would think McDonalds would finally go bankrupt because you can only feed people crap for so long until they realize what they are actually putting into their bodies.

However, McDonald’s net income actually grew 9% in the last quarter. As a result:

Investors rewarded the news, sending shares up more than 3 percent to $91.96.
McDonald's has performed well throughout the recession and its aftermath, partly because the chain has managed to reshape its image from a burger-and-fries joint into a hip, healthy place to eat. The world's largest burger chain, which other fast-food companies often copy, has introduced new menu items like smoothies and oatmeal, remodeled restaurants, and converted more locations to 24-hour operations [emphasis added].

Jim Skinner, McDonald's CEO, goes on to say in a statement that the third-quarter results are "a clear indication that our strategy is working." I commend McDonald’s for their “outside the box” type of thinking and “reshaping its image” to align themselves with the sign of the times and readjusting to customer changes. They recognized people were saying, “Look, we’re not eating crap anymore.” This led to the reshaping of the company in order to meet the needs (or wants) of the customer. It seems so simple to me.

If it’s so simple then why can’t the NBA fix their current system and “reshape” things in order to gain revenue? I feel an angry tangent coming on so I’ll refrain. This doesn’t mean I’m going to start eating at McDonalds again- far from it. I’m 35 years old now, and I get sick just driving past a McDonalds. (Not to mention my wife would kill me if the food doesn’t kill me first.)

I simply wanted to point out the principle of being open to “reshaping” a company that has been successful for decades. (Of course, there will always be plenty of stubborn businessmen who resist change. I’m looking at you NBA. Okay that’s the last sentence on the NBA, I promise.). Whether you agree with the product they’re selling is not the point. Being a successful business for any length of time requires invention, flexibility, and creativity. We know that as customers whether we’re aware of it or not.

From an individual perspective we, too, can be stubborn businessmen who don’t want to change and feel like everyone else should conform to our ideas, which results in torpedoing our own business (like a certain professional sports league that shall not be named).

As I’m getting older I want to be open to creative ways in living my life. Maybe that’s why I’m studying finance. It’s a new field and a new challenge. I like thinking about new ideas and exploring them to their end. I love the fact the Bible does not mention “How” you should run a church service but “Why” you should have a church service at all. As a result, church service styles have changed greatly over time (the “How”) but at it’s core the substance has not, the “Why.”

Applying that principle in my own life, I have Bibles and sermons loaded on my iphone. During my commute time I turn off the radio and pray like a madman, which makes me wonder why I even bought a new car radio. I set aside a block of time just to make phone calls to my friends I don’t talk to on a regular basis. Sometimes they answer, most of the time they don’t. Sometimes they call back, sometimes they don’t. Either way, I’m calling because fellowship, connection, and drawing from other people’s perspective are important to me. It’s how I’m constantly “reshaping” my soul.

I don’t spend hours studying the Bible like I did in grad school but I don’t feel guilty about it either. Although I would still love to do that, I realize my current life-stage and situation simply doesn’t allow it. Consequently, I’ve had to be more creative with my time and use other inventions to grow in Christ, whether that’s listening to sermons while at the gym or working around the house, making phone calls to people I know I should be talking to, or praying whenever given the opportunity. I pray the Holy Spirit would give me creativity in that regard and the ability to "reshape" how I approach Christianity. It helps to know that the “How” in the “How I do things,” has changed but the “Why” in the “Why I do this,” hasn’t. I hope that makes sense.

The Avengers – Trailer

At the end of Captain America: First Avenger we had a teaser from The Avengers Movie releasing later this summer. I remember leaving the theater wanting to buy a custom of one of the characters but couldn’t decide which one. The Avengers Movie is the most ambitious comic movie to date. Ever since the release of Iron Man (2008) and The incredible Hulk (2008) fan boys have been anticipating the superhero team-up for years. Here’s the basic premise:

When an unexpected enemy emerges who threatens global safety and security, Nick Fury, the director of the international peacekeeping agency known as S.H.I.E.L.D., finds himself in need of a team of superheroes to pull the world back from the brink of disaster.

Now the first full-length trailer arrived a week ago and people are buzzing over the new footage. Rightly so, each of the main members of The Avengers have had their solo movies, so watching all of them on the same screen interacting with each other is pretty exciting.

I was never a big fan of The Avengers growing up, but the way Marvel Studios has set up this movie is unparalleled. I’ll sum it up in this short phrase, “I’m in.” I don’t really care that I didn’t read the comics growing up. I’m sold. The fact that any studio has this much balls to put up this much money (budget at $220M) while producing solo movies with separate origin stories for each main character shows me they’re serious about making a good movie.

This doesn’t mean I don’t have concerns about the movie. I realize that I’m only basing my concerns off of the first trailer, but it’s the only thing I have at the moment. Despite being a trailer I can still see potential problems along the way.

Concerns:

Is This Iron Man 3?

I really enjoyed the first Iron Man movie. Robert Downey, Jr.’s character Tony Stark was impressive. The journey of his transformation from a billionaire playboy to selfless superhero was compelling. Then Iron Man 2 came out and basically nullified everything good that happened in the first movie. Now I’ve seen plenty of sequels inferior to their predecessors, but it’s rare to see a sequel so awful that it torpedoed everything good about the original. That’s what Iron Man 2 did for me. It tainted the masterpiece that was Iron Man.

Seriously, how are you going to have a compelling transformation story of a narcissistic jackass turned sacrificial hero only to turn him back into an even worse narcissistic jackass in the sequel? Halfway through Iron Man 2, I thought their goal was to have us actually root against the hero. Mission accomplished.

In the Avengers trailer, Tony Starks is clearly pushing some of the other team members buttons and getting on people’s nerves. I hope this doesn’t turn into Iron Man 3. I understand you need diversity within a group in order to make them compelling. You also need that one wild card to stir the pot and make the team dynamically interesting in the way they interact with each other. Clearly, Tony Stark is that guy. But if he goes overboard and continues the narcissistic jackass rout, his character will simply be annoying instead of compelling.

Mark Ruffalo vs. Edward Norton (Hulk vs. Hulk)

The original 2008 The Incredible Hulk was a solid movie. Edward Norton as Dr. Bruce Banner was sensational. Norton is one of my favorite actors so I was excited when I heard he was cast as Banner. Then negotiations to sign on for The Avengers broke down, which resulted in Norton not resigning with the franchise. This led the studio to cast Mark Ruffalo to take Norton’s place. This is like downgrading from Dwight Howard to Andrew Bogut. Bogut is a serviceable big man but he’s not in D. Howard’s class. Ruffalo is a serviceable actor but not in Norton’s class. If you were going to pull out all the stops for a big budget movie you’ve been planning for years, wouldn’t you get the best actors possible, especially a movie heavily relying on previous origin stories as backdrop? So if Marvel is hoping that we won’t notice downgrading an A-list actor to a B-list actor they’re sorely mistaken. Whatever the issue was ($$$), Norton not returning as Dr. Banner was a big disappointment. Lets hope The Hulk spends more time as The Hulk instead of Dr. Banner.

Scarlett Johansson as Natasha Romanoff (aka The Black Widow)

After watching the trailer I asked myself, “I wonder how many times S. Johansson will use the flying head-scissors move on an opponent, end up in a couching position after finishing him off, and whipping her hair back like she’s in a Salon Selective commercial?” Because we didn’t see that at all in Iron Man 2.

I don’t want to give the impression that I’m not looking forward to the movie because I am. Here’s a list of things I’m really looking forward.

Tom Hiddleston as Loki

The Loki in the Thor movie was a spineless manipulating twit. When I heard that he’ll be the main villain in The Avengers, I thought, “How is that wimpy fool going to cause a crisis big enough to assemble The Avengers?” After some short clips from the trailer, it’s clear that Loki looks emotionally damaged, much more cynical, and extremely darker. He doesn’t look like the spineless twit in the Thor movie but someone really hell-bent on kicking some serious tail.

Speaking of Thor, there is a quick scene with Samuel L. Jackson’s character, Nick Fury, directly asking Thor, “What are you prepared to do?” No doubt this is an awkward situation for Thor with his stepbrother attempting to destroy the earth and all. I can already see T. Starks’ wisecracks about this situation, “Wait a minute! This dude is your brother?” It’ll be interesting to see how this all plays out.

Iron Man (The Suit)

I already mentioned my concerns for the character. What I’m really looking forward to is what Iron Man’s suit will be able to do this time around. In each Iron Man movie (or in this case a movie with Iron Man in it) there has to be some type of upgrade to his suit, right? Something new and cool we haven’t seen yet? The couple of flying sequences in the trailer looked great, especially for only a trailer. I’m guessing there will be an initial attack where Iron Man gets his rear end handed to him only to go back to the drawing board finding out ways to improve his suit and utilizing those improvements just in time for the final battle scene. Okay, this is fairly predictable, but still, it’s going to be good when it happens.

Tony Starks

The flip side of my concerns with T. Starks is he can pull off the wild card member well. He can give the team dynamic enough tension where the interactions between members won’t become static but more interesting while never crossing the “complete narcissistic jackass I can’t route for” line. There’s zero gray area with this character. Either the character is well written and Downey will pull off an amazing performance where the audience will be eager for Iron Man 3, or the character will pick up where he left off in Iron Man 2. Everyone will end up hating him (the other team members and the audience) because he’s the same old narcissistic jackass, and we’ll hope he ends up blowing up or dying in the final battle scene in a blaze of glory Scarface style so we don’t have to endure Iron Man 3. There’s no in between.

Jeremy Renner as Hawkeye

Jeremy Renner has become quite the big deal. In 2009 he was in The Hurt Locker (Nominated for Best Actor). In 2010 he was in The Town (Nominated for Best Supporting Actor) will co-star with Tom Cruise in Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol (and is rumored to take over the franchise) and will take over The Bourne Identity franchise in The Bourne Legacy. He’s had an amazing run and I don’t seeing it stopping with The Avengers. Renner’s character, Hawkeye, doesn’t have superpowers so he’ll rely on guile and wit (much like the comics). I’m looking forward to a plain human being kicking some super powered villains’’ butts.

If you’re wondering “How did you get all of that in one trailer?” Short answer: No NBA. What else am I going to do with my time? Here’s the trailer:

This Week In Movies - The Thing

The movie “The Thing,” which is actually a prequel to the original 1982 movie titled . . . wait for it . . . “The Thing.” I’m not sure how they expect us not to get confused. I enjoyed the original 1982 horror flick with Kurt Russell. He rocked in that movie.

Also, I remember watching it with my grandma who happened to love horror flicks, especially if they were B-Movies. For some reason she never did enjoy high budget horror flicks and probably wouldn’t be interested in most horror flicks made today. Na . . . Who am I kidding? She would love the horror flicks today!

As I became older and more importantly became a Christian, my taste for horror flicks faded. Don’t get me wrong, I still enjoy classics like Aliens and the iconic role Sigourney Weaver played as Ellen Ripley and the original 1987 Predator film starring our former Arnold Schwarzenegger and his kick-butt role as Major Alan “Dutch” Schaefer.

How many 80’s flicks to you still hear quoted? (e.g., “Get to the chopper!” “Come on kill me, I’m right here . . . DO IT NOW!!!”)

Anyway, what was I talking about? Oh yeah, The Thing coming out this week. Here’s a quick synopsis of the movie:

Paleontologist Kate Lloyd has traveled to the desolate region for the expedition of her lifetime. Joining a Norwegian scientific team that has stumbled across an extraterrestrial ship buried in the ice, she discovers an organism that seems to have died in the crash eons ago. But it is about to wake up.

Here’s “the thing” about prequels that I don’t enjoy. If we’ve seen the original movie, then we all know where the film is going to end up. Prequels by there very nature are predetermined. I understand watching the journey is part of the fun but it only applies to films with depth, character, and a compelling story. For example, even though most fanboys of the Star Wars franchise were disappointed by the prequels it was still interesting to watch because of the iconic characters the previous movies established (e.g., Darth Vader, Luke Skywalker, etc.). We wanted to know “How did they get here?” despite the fact that we knew where they would end up.

Ridley Scott is currently working on the prequel to Alien called Prometheus.

The film will be successful (financial speaking) for the same principles, which I mentioned above. The Aliens in Scott’s films were kick-butt wicked and downright scary as h***. Furthermore, Sigourney Weaver’s character, Ellen Ripley, empowered women to the degree that would rival the Feminist movement. So naturally, people are interested in the “How did the Aliens come to being?” because we’re interested in the aliens themselves and the aliens gave rise to Ellen Ripley who was a compelling character.

This bags the question, “Does The Thing carry the same weight?” Although Kurt Russell rocked the house in the original I’ll have to answer that question with, “very little.” Sadly, most Hollywood prequels these days are “cash grabs,” a sorry attempt to make more money and past success. I may check out the movie when it streams on Netflix but not before. And I’ll only check it out to pay homage to the original. But if you decide to go see it before it streams on Netflix, let me know if it stinks.

A review by ScreenRant is here.

Here’s the trailer:

Conversations Part II of II

For Part I click here.

We had a professor who talked about not “living life within parentheses,” which meant abstaining from the mentality that said, “If I get this over with then I’ll really start living.” Examples could include, “Once I finish college then I’ll start living my ‘real’ life.” Sure, then you’ll miss all the opportunities to build relationships and not see the character-building moments while you’re in college. Another example would be, “Once I get married then I’ll start living my ‘real’ life.” Actually, I thought this very thing in college. In short, it was dumb to think this. That’s not to say marriage hasn’t been wonderful because it has but to believe God’s end goal is to marry us all off is shortsighted (This topic deserves its’ own blog).

My buddy Aaron Brown has taught me a great deal, which is why I love talking to the guy. I remember bouncing theological theories and research topics off of him, as well as tackling the complexities of women together (the last being the hardest). Through our interactions I’ve often appreciated his wisdom and insight into the particulars. It was more than discussing abstract concepts few people cared about but about the deep condition of our hearts and how it affects our perspective. Often times I would vent my frustrations about something and he was almost always able to know what I was feeling but also explain to me why I was feeling that way. He never gave the pop psychobabble, “How does that make you feel?” non-sense. Aaron KNEW how I felt and he KNEW it was important to communicate why I felt those things and often times challenging me, in a tactful manner, to seek the Lord and find resolution with whatever issue I was dealing with at the time. He was always able to shine a light on the path I was traveling. I’m the one who still needs to travel on the path but it’s assuring to know you have friends to help you along the way. There are not many friends who offer a broader scope into life’s mysteries and Aaron Brown happens to be one of the many I have been blessed with. As we’re going through the same life-stages it’s important for me to maintain my relationship with him in order to gain more perspective about life and God. This is what I believe, ultimately, are the purposes of friendship.

I’m truly grateful the Lord brought me to BU and allowed me to harvest friendships that will last an eternity. If there’s a friend who has impacted your life that you haven’t talked to in a while, I’m sure they’ll appreciate a phone call. And you’ll be glad to give one. Besides, with no NBA basketball due to the lockout what else are you going to do with your time?

P.S. – There will be more reflections on my BU days in future blogs. Be on the lookout.

Conversations Part I of II

Now I’m just as busy as the next person and can easily get caught up with just “doing things” in order to get things done. As a result, I can just as easily forget what’s really important in life, namely, the people that matter most to me.

This past weekend I had a couple of conservations with some old friends who are extremely dear to my heart. I’ll never forget my time at Biola University and how pivotal it was in laying the foundation for the rest of my life. I was a young Christian, confused about many things regarding my faith (e.g., What is God’s calling on my life? How am I to understand and relate to God, intellectually and emotionally? What is the role of the church in my life? Etc.). Through the education in my classes and the mentoring of my professors at BU I was able to figure out most of those things. Of course that doesn’t mean I’ve figured them out exhaustively. But what it does mean is I have a strong theological and biblical foundation to build upon in further study, which I will continue to formulate and synthesize throughout my lifetime.

After graduating from college and entering in the normal hustle and bustle of “real” life you tend to forget the really important things in life because you’re just “busy.” What’s unique about the relationships I’ve developed at BU is that they bring into remembrance God’s entire transformative work in my life during that critical time. The community I still hold dear to my heart is a personification of my personal communion with God. So when I take a moment to speak with friends on the phone who may not live close anymore it forces me to calm down, forget everything else that’s going on in my life, reflect on all of the things I’ve learned at BU and turn my heart to the person on the other side of the phone because they’re the only person that matters at that moment. The close friends from BU act as a “Stone of Remembrance” for me, marking the faithfulness of God throughout my life. I’ve often thought about the many lessons I’ve learned from Aaron Brown. I also think about the conservations I had with Whitney (Uhler) Cox, hearing things from a woman’s perspective and trying to understand its’ complexities, which were many. Trying to figure things out on your own could be frustrating but learning within a community makes the journey worth it.

A couple of weeks ago, Whitney sent out a mass email requesting prayer for her son who was having some health issues (he’s okay now). Instead of replying to an email I decided to give her a call. We talked about all the things we appreciated about BU and the people God brought into our lives. Furthermore, we talked about the ever-changing life-stage most people go through, from being single and in college to graduating looking for a job, getting married, having kids and so forth. Upon reflection, it was ridiculous of me to ever complain about 8am classes or feeling like I never had enough time to get everything done. For some reason we believe that things get simpler as time passes. The exact opposite happens. Things don’t get simpler as we grow up they get more complicated, much more complicated. I understand that’s simply where college students are at and we were all there too. However, with some years under our belt, some time for maturation, and increasing perspective “stressing out” about exams and research papers seem small fry.

Through the conservation with Whitney, however, I realized it wasn’t a waste to “stress out” about typical college things. Actually, it helped lay the foundation for the next stage of life. Living with my roommates and having student responsibilities along with maintaining a part-time job prepared me for adulthood and the responsibilities of being a man taking care of his home. Each life stage you are currently in prepares you for the next. If this is true, then it stands to reason that by putting forth your best efforts in what ever stage you’re in, you’ll be better off when the next one comes.

For Part II click here.

Two Universals, Too Late? - Fringe

As the TV show Fringe heads into it’s third season we quickly find out the main premise is “Where in the h**l is Peter Bishop?” I don’t watch a lot of TV but I found the second season of Fringe fairly interesting. Here’s a quick summary of season 2’s premise:

In Season 2, the occurrences are found to be in conjunction with activities of a parallel universe, which is plagued by singularities occurring at weakened points of the fabric between worlds. The Fringe team deals with more cases that are leading to a "great storm" as the parallel universe appears to be at war with the prime one, engineered by human-machine hybrid shape-shifters from the parallel universe. Walter is forced to tell Peter that he is from the parallel universe, a replacement for his own Peter that died from a genetic disease, and that it is his prior experiments that caused the singularities in the parallel universe.

Did you get all of that? By the end of Season 3, Peter had entered a machine (one he could only use of course) and opened up the two worlds in order to have everyone work together instead of attempt to blow each other up to preserve their respective universe.

In any show you need an overarching storyline that helps drive the narrative. Within the overarching storyline there are “episodes” used for character development and background information while simultaneously developing the arch. The episodes themselves are essential but should never become more interesting than the overarching storyline developing in the background. As the season progresses the developing arch transitions from the background to the foreground thus revealing the conclusion of the season/story.

The problem in the Season 2 was that the episodes themselves became more interesting than the arch (e.g., parallel universe). After a while, every time an episode made in attempt to give insight into the parallel universe situation it became repetitive and fatiguing. I said to myself, “Alright, already!!! Hurry up and blow up one of the universes so we could move on!!!” At that point, I didn’t even care which universe was going to blow up or which Olivia ends up with Peter.

During this time, you followed Peter and tried to empathize with his internal conflict of which world in belonged to. You see his interaction with his father Walter and his increasing affliction for Olivia. You were pulling for his relationship with Olivia and found that his acceptance of Walter reassuring. You were invested in Peter (and other characters as well).

So guess what happened at the start of Season 4? Here is a summary:

Season 4 begins in an alternate timeline, one in which Peter did not survive his childhood illness in either universe, according to the Observers. Though major events in their past have still occurred to the main characters in this timeline, the exact means by which they occurred has changed without Peter's influence; Walter was released from the mental institution by Olivia, but without any point of stability, has become recluse and unwilling to leave his lab. The Observers note traces of Peter still appearing in this timeline and set out to eradicate them. Meanwhile, the Fringe division in the prime universe discover a new type of shape-shifter similar to those used by the parallel universe.

Sweet! So after being completely invested into Peter and wondering how the doomsday circumstances were going to play he simply “never existed?” Warner Bros. is playing with my emotions more than my ex-girlfriend. I was exhausted by the whole parallel universe situation AND IT’S STILL NOT RESOLVED!!!! Do they really expect me to watch an entire season of “Where in the h**l is Peter Bishop?” that might not be resolved by season’s end? That would be H**L NO!!!

I had high hopes for Fringe but if they’re going to play with my emotions like a crazy girlfriend then I’m playing the “We just need some space” card. I’m going to take a Sabbatical from the show until they resolve some of their issues. Once they “figure some stuff out” we’ll talk but not until then. So then, for now, please let me know if/when they find Peter Bishop. I realize that it could only take one episode but if they’re going to drag that premise out for an entire season I’m not sitting around and waiting.

The Motherland VII - Spiritual Adoption

For Part VI Click Here.

During my trip to The Motherland, my uncle’s love (aka The Thai Tycoon) and generosity towards me was overwhelming. I couldn’t believe how much he took care of Katie and I and the enjoyment he received from doing so. I thought to myself, “This is how my father should be treating me.” When I was a child, I remember my uncle starting from scratch. Now he’s projected to own half of Thailand by 2016.

On the one hand you have my uncle who started his own business and simply decided, “I’m not going to be poor.” Now he’s branching out and starting different business ventures for the mere challenge of it. Does he need more money? Of course he doesn’t. It’s about next adventures and starting something new and seeing it become successful.

On the other hand, you have my father who decided that gambling was the road to success. As if people winning built Las Vegas. There couldn’t be two sharper contrasts between my uncle and my father. “The plans of the diligent lead to profit as surely as haste leads to poverty” (Prov. 21:5 – NIV). My uncle inspires me. My father simply leaves me nodding my head.

Psychologists would charge me $300 per hour to inform me that I have a host of issues as a result of my family background. I went ahead and saved my money. It’s not that difficult to know when you have a father like mine you’ll probably going to deal with anger, bitterness, and resentment and have abandonment issues. I was a slave to those things. So imagine when I became a Christian and I read:

Because you are sons, God sent the Spirit who calls out, “Abba, Father.” So you are no longer a slave, but a son; and since you are a son, God has made you also an heir. (Galatians 4:6-7 – NIV)

You shall not mistreat any widow or fatherless child. (Exodus 22:22 – ESV)

He executes justice for the fatherless and the widow, and loves the sojourner, giving him food and clothing (Deut. 10:18 – ESV).

Father of the fatherless and protector of widows is God in his holy habitation. (Ps 68:5 –ESV)

These verses probably mean more to me than the average person who grew up with a good father figure. The Lord has healed much of my heart and has given me perspective through the eyes of His sovereign grace. I’m no longer chained to the slavery of abandonment nor ruled by a heart of resentment. I’ve been freed by a Spirit of adoption and filled with a heart of gratitude. I have a different Father and I am my Father’s son.

As an adult, there is victory in my life. I don’t need to follow the same path as my father. I now have a heavenly Father who knows me better than I know myself. But there is a question that remains. How will this affect me as a future parent? I’ve never had to deal with this question because the idea of parenthood was extremely remote. However, as that reality potentially draws closer, I will be faced with that question in the form of a screaming baby in my hands.

I’ve actually thought about this question some. I look at parenthood as an opportunity to see how I might’ve turned out if I had a good father teaching me the things that need to be taught to every child. I don’t fear parenthood as much as I make out. Although I admit this is a recent development. I embrace parenthood knowing it’s an opportunity to break a cycle of abandonment, to begin a different Jamreonvit legacy, and to be the father I never had but always wanted. That doesn’t mean I’ll be the perfect parent. Parenthood doesn’t require perfection but only the understanding of God’s grace poured into your life and how to impart that same grace to your children. That’s going to look different for every individual, for every household but that’s part of the fun . . . trying to figure these things out for yourself.

In conclusion, this trip to the Motherland was an awakening of sorts for me. It was awakening to the realities of who I was, who I am, and ultimately who I will become. Nothing in the past binds me. Yet, everything in the past binds me. How will this all play out? Who knows? God does. That’s why I’ll keep blogging because the fun is figuring this stuff out.

Thank you for all of you who read my blog and who have followed The Motherland series faithfully. I hope that it gives you insight into my life and that it was a source of encouragement. I pray that God ministered to you in some way and even give you some insight into yourself.

Praise Him.

The Motherland VI – Father to the Fatherless

For Part V Click Here.

There are very few moments in my life when I think extensively about my biological father. My thoughts towards him usually don’t last for more than a couple of minutes at a time. I have vague and unpleasant memories of my father. I also have vague and fragmented memories of my grandparents on that particular side of the family.

During this trip to The Motherland, I learned that my father was from a privileged background. Apparently, my grandparents did fairly well in life financially speaking. It made sense to me when I began putting some of the broken pieces together. The memories of living in a nice house only down the street from my grandparent’s nicer house started to become a little clearer. There were thoughts of my sister and I racing up and down the street and riding rafts to grandpa’s during flooding season.

However, there was one memory that stood out for some reason, namely, the memory of my grandfather’s funeral. It was in Thailand, and I was only a small child. I didn’t have very many memories of my grandparents. During the time of his passing, I just remembered my father being extremely sad. When someone loses a parent, sadness is a normal and legitimate emotional response. I didn’t have a problem with my father mourning over the lost of his father. But there’s a difference between mourning over the lost of a loved one and being completely aloof, coldly detached, and strangely distant from the rest of your family members.

People handle grief differently. I understand that. But the way my father handled his grief during that time was a foreshadowing of things to come. He didn’t take the opportunity to teach his son about the frailty of life, that everyone has a finite amount of time and that time shouldn’t be wasted. He wasn’t a pillar of strength for his family during a difficult time. He wilted under the despair, clearly seen by his son. It left an impression on a young boy beyond his years. Maybe he didn’t bother using it as a teachable moment because I was just a kid. Maybe he understood that those lessons would’ve been far beyond my ability to comprehend. Maybe he simply loved his father and no longer having him was just too much to bear.

If that were the case, those valuable lessons every son needs to learn never came. Incidentally, shortly after that time, I have little memory of my father ever being around. I’ve only met with him a hand-full of times in my life. From what my family tells me, he squandered his inheritance from his father’s estate, never was able to stick to a job, and had major gambling issues. He sounds like a real role model.

Maybe that’s why it was difficult for me to cope with my emotions growing up. Maybe that’s why it was hard to deal with rejection from girls in high school and college. Maybe that’s why it was burdensome to connect with my mom at a young age. It might be that my father never taught me these things. Worst yet, maybe my father DID teach me these things by being absent and detached. It’s no coincidence I was absent and detached throughout my teenage years. I tried to never take responsibility for myself and made every effort to look for the easy way out. I was my father’s son.

Throughout the years I would occasionally get a phone call from him. The phone calls were never “How are you doing?” type of calls. The phone calls were usually my father giving me some sob story of how he fell on hard times and needed some money. Sweet! As you could imagine, the phone calls didn’t last very long. A lasting memory of my father that I have burned into my cranium was the time shortly after my mother passed away. He called and said, “I’m sorry about your mother, do you have money I could borrow?” For a split second I actually thought my father had some decency in him after all when he said, “I’m sorry about your mother . . . “ but then when he proceeded to ask for money in the same breath I was speechless. He never asked me if I were dating anyone when I was growing up. He never asked how college was going. I didn’t hear from him when I graduated with two Master’s degrees from grad school. Not a word from him when I got married. He doesn’t even know I just bought a house. But when my mom passed away, her body not yet laid to rest, my father thought it was a good time to ask for some money. Amazing. I didn’t respond but simply handed the phone back to my sister Vicky.

I’ll never forget that phone call. It was the last time I spoke to my father. My sister Vicky refuses to give him my new contact information even though he’s asked several times. I think a lot about that moment more then I care to admit. The reason is because there’s a part of me that wants to ask him, “Do you have no decency? …no dignity as a man? Your son’s lasting memory of you is you asking him for money when his mother died. How does that make you feel?” I predict his response would be something like, “So does this mean you’re not giving me any money?”

For the conclusion to The Motherland series click here.