Being single for several years was pretty frustrating to say the least. Coupled that with girls over-complicating the dating process and you feel stuck in “singleness purgatory.” But after pursuing my wife for several painfully slow years it was worth the wait. I knew the kind of person she was when I meant her and realized she was the one for me. Although I didn’t know the benefits extended to physical health it certainly was a pleasant surprise when I received the results of my latest cholesterol test.
Pre-Wife 2008 Cholesterol test results:
CHOL: 212
TRIG: 154
HDL: 40
LDL CALC: 141
Explanation:
CHOL is total cholesterol; normal is less than 200
TRIG is triglyceride; normal is less than 200
HDL is good cholesterol; normal is greater than 40
LDLCALC is bad cholesterol; normal is less than 130
Although I did decent in two categories (TRIG and HDL), I didn’t do so well on CHOL and LDL CALC. When I got the test results back in 2008 I was extremely surprised and told my doctor that I worked out like a beast. My doctor kindly replied, “It isn’t always about working out, although that helps of course.” He went on to ask, “What is your diet like?”
Much to my own astonishment, I didn’t know what my diet was. I mean, who keeps track? I was single and I ate whatever I wanted whenever I wanted. That was probably the problem. Then I realized my roommates saying things like, “Why don’t you cut down on those burgers?” Or “Did you realize you just ate an entire pizza by yourself?” Maybe there’s a connection here?
Well, a year after marriage and a lot of home cooked meals, salads, and drinking lots of water, I retook the cholesterol test.
Post-Wife 2010 Cholesterol test results:
CHOL: 186
TRIG: 105
HDL: 44
LDL CALC: 121
Explanation:
CHOL is total cholesterol; normal is less than 200
TRIG is triglyceride; normal is less than 200
HDL is good cholesterol; normal is greater than 40
LDLCALC is bad cholesterol; normal is less than 130
Wow, what a difference the right wife makes! This will most certainly lower my life insurance rate. Kudos to the wife for helping with a healthy life-style, without her I would probably be having a heart attack as we speak. Of course this makes me think about the other areas of my life, which she doesn’t allow me to partake in (e.g., online gambling, drinking, etc.). But we’ll talk about that later. For now lets celebrate with some Cheese Cake Factory.
I love it! My wife carries weight watchers book everywhere for logging her points and "eat this, not that" and constantly modifies my orders before I get a chance to get them out. That said, I'm hugely grateful (try not to think of the bad pun) for her, since she has kept me healthier than I would have been. I always used to say I'd be dead at 35, but she's brought variety in my life, including the thought of taking care of myself. Loving wives rule!
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