The Real Steel: Superman Trailer Analysis

I was at work when the new Man of Steel trailer was released and couldn’t wait to get home to watch it. My buddy Bryan called me during my lunch break to tell me about it and wanted my thoughts regarding a couple of other movies. Since I hadn’t seen the new Man of Steel trailer yet, I couldn’t really say anything. Now that I’ve seen it a couple of times (more like 27 times), I do have some thoughts on it.

After watching it for the first time, I was speechless. There are so many elements going on, and it has an entirely different tone from any other Superman movie ever made. I had to just gather my thoughts for a while in order to make them coherent. In short, it’s amazing.

I have tons of thoughts on the potential of the movie and where it could go and how it may lead into the Justice League movie in 2015. I will only mention a few thoughts on the recent Man of Steel trailer.

A Gift and A Curse

Wait! There’s a downside to Superman’s superpowers? It’s rarely ever been explored with a serious and grounded approach, but it seems like this movie will do just that. How does a child with superhuman abilities handle growing up? It’s not like going through puberty. Furthermore, how do parents handle rising a child with superpowers? It’s clear the Kent parents will play a prominent role in this film. The trailer seems to give two hints as to this. We see Jonathan Kent (Kevin Costner) playing the protective father, telling Clark, “You have to keep this side of yourself a secret.” Later, Martha Kent (Diana Lane) acting as Clark’s anchor in the world, says, “Listen to my voice. Pretend it’s an island. Can you see it?”

Uncertainty and Loneliness

Superman has usually been portrayed as a black and white character. He knows right from wrong and always does what’s right. In Bryan Singer’s 2006 Superman Returns he made a failed attempt to have Superman struggle with Lois Lane’s new relationship. Really? That’s the best you could do? Singer made Lois’ character so angry at Superman it was difficult to like her.

In a new approach, Zack Snyder’s film shows that it hasn’t been always cut and dry for Superman. Imagine how lonely it must’ve been growing up, trying to find an identity, realizing you’re an alien from another plant that blew up, and you’re adopted to boot. How does a person work through all those issues while maintaining a sense of right and wrong?

We have Lift-off

The shot of Superman preparing to take flight with the stirring of the snow and rocks is a nice artistic flourish on how Superman interacts with the environment. Snyder has always been great with visual effects (300, Watchmen) and it’ll be interesting to see what new elements he brings to his big budget film.

Krypton

No other Superman film has emphasized much of Superman’s home plant, Krypton, or his biological parents. I’m guessing Krypton will be featured more in this film. If you’re going to cast Russell Crowe as Jor-El (Superman’s biological father), I’m sure it’ll more than cameo.

This is good news. Shouldn’t we feel something when a plant filled with people blows up? How would we feel if Earth blew up and we were the only survivor? These are legitimate questions and questions worth exploring.

The Modern World

At the end of the trailer, Superman says, “My dad was convinced the world would reject me.” Superman has always been portrayed as a celebrated and beloved superhero. In reality, however, how would we feel knowing that there is a being on our earth with superhuman powers? Wouldn’t that make you a little nervous? How do we know we could trust him? Why would he want to protect us? What are his motives? What does he want?

Superman in the modern (real) world wouldn’t be celebrated or beloved but feared. It’ll be interesting to see how he deals with an enemy that threatens earth while the earth views him as a threat.

Conclusion

I’m excited for the film. I’m sure they’ll be great action sequences, but it’s also the character drama involved that gives the film substances and makes it much more compelling. June can’t come quickly enough.

The Days of Shrek 4 Past

I enjoyed the Shrek series. The best one (in my humble opinion) was the first one. The third one was the weakest installment, but the fourth one was surprisingly fun because it touches on a theme that I believe most men go through but rarely ever admit to it. Why am I even mentioning this? As I continue to blog, there are phrases I hope to embed with meaning so that I can use them regularly and not have to spend time explaining what the phrase means. So, my first submission for this endeavor is the phrase “Shrek 4.” I am hoping that after reading this blog, when I say, “I’m having a Shrek 4 day” or “It’s a Shrek 4 moment,” you’ll know exactly what I mean.

First let me explain the meaning of Shrek 4. It’s basically the premise of the movie, which is here:

In the present, Shrek has steadily grown tired of being a family man and celebrity among the local villagers, leading him to yearn for the days when he felt like a "real ogre". He takes his family to Far Far Away to celebrate his children's first birthday. Shrek gets annoyed when the three little pigs eat the kids' cake along with most of the other party food. A boy named Butterpants (who is said to be a "big fan" of Shrek) demands that Shrek roar. After he lets out a frustrated roar the entire crowd cheers, reinforcing his belief that no one considers him to be a true ogre. This coupled with the fact that the birthday cakes were decorated with a "cute" Ogre named "Sprinkles" finally makes Shrek snap and he smashes the new birthday cake in front of everyone, and then walks out in anger. He and Fiona argue outside about his reaction, which ends with Shrek rashly agreeing that he was happier before he'd rescued her.

Of course the term “real ogre” is an allegory of a “real man.” Being “domesticated” can feel somewhat neutering. Let me be clear, I’m not about to use worldly and secular ideas to define masculinity. But on the surface there are some legitimate things we can glean from the basic premise of the movie. Another disclaimer I would like to add is that even though I have “Shrek 4 moments,” it does not mean I don’t want to be married or be a family man. I love my wife and child. Okay? Okay.

When I was single there were tons of things I enjoyed. For instance, there was the freedom to basically do whatever I wanted when I wanted to do it, which is not always a good thing. Also, I didn’t have to worry about being a “Spiritual Leader” in the home because, well, I didn’t have a home or a family to worry about. I went to church weekly, read my Bible daily, and made sure I spent a portion of the day praying. Spiritual disciplines came easy because I wasn’t on a schedule. I got to it when I got to it.

Now that I have a full time job, a boatload of bills, and a wife and child to look after, things are not quite so easy. Do I sometimes long for the days of being a “real ogre?” I’d be lying if I said, “no” but the emphasis is on sometimes. If you did see Shrek 4 you’ll remember by the end of the movie [Spoiler Alert]: Shrek realizes he wouldn’t trade the family life for anything [End Spoiler]. Yes, there are moments we go through wishing we could “just hang out with the guys” or just have time to ourselves. But at the end of the day, there’s nothing that beats coming home to a family. It’s a different level of enjoyment. For example, when you were a kid you thought spinning around in circles and getting yourself dizzy was the best thing ever. When you get older, you realize there are other enjoyments in life that pale in comparison. Imagine seeing a 30-yr-old spinning around in circles in order to get himself dizzy and crying out “Wee, wee, weeeeeeeeeeee!” There are two questions that would come to mind. First would be questioning the guy’s competency. The second question I can’t put in this blog, but you get the picture.

There are more mature enjoyments in life. The challenge becomes in redefining what a “real ogre” is. So what if I can’t devote myself to becoming a better basketball player? So what if I have less time to goof off? Yes, more responsibilities tend to add stress and pressure, but these are good things. Admittedly, too much of stress and pressure can drive you over the edge. That’s why we should allow a little time to ourselves in order to “hang out” and let our hair down. Yes, I get stressed out with the responsibilities of being a family man and sometimes long for the days of Shrek 1. But just like at the end of Shrek 4, family is really what matters.

Holiday Cheer 2012

Well, we're in the middle of the holidays and Christmas is almost here. I love the holidays even though I have yet to think of a good gift idea for my wife and it's stressing me out. Besides being a dead-beat and procrastinating I've managed to take a little time and reflect on all the goodness of the Lord has provided, namely, blessing us with a wonderful child.

As you know, my mom is no longer around. My crazy older sister burned every single bridge like a pyrotechnic on steroids. My younger sister, Vicky, goes with her husband's family each year as I go to my wife's side of the family each year. Sadly, this year will be a little different. There's usually several people at my in-law's but this year everyone will be scattered across the world and Becky, the youngest, will be in Japan (what do they do for Christmas away). I'm predicting my in-law's depression will hit an all-time high to the point where I'm considering putting them on suicide watch.

Maybe having at least one child, my wife, and one grandchild, Joelle, relatively close will cheer them up a bit. We just got our Christmas tree and my wife put up the Christmas decorations, "it's starting to look like Christmas!" Here are some photos of Joelle enjoying her first December.

"Hey, these lights are pretty cool!"

"So this is what a Christmas tree smells like. Nice."

I've mentioned before we had a fake tree growing up. I didn't mind it because it wasn't messy, it was easier to clean up, and it was cheap because we could use it for several years. But now that I'm older I appreciate the fresh pine smell and the "realness" of a Christmas tree. I hope the pine will inspire Joelle to enjoy the outsides a little more.

"Hello Buddy. I don't understand why my dad hates you. You seem really nice."

Joelle meets Buddy. Well, she met him 4 months ago but is only now starting to notice the flea bag. It's actually endearing since Buddy has been great with kids and is the ideal family dog. Actually, having a real Christmas tree, a child, and a dog makes me feel more American. I'm sure everything will work out for the in-laws. Maybe this year they'll be open to drinking. If that's the case, the first round is on me!

Route 66

This past month my mom would’ve turned 66 years old. Truthfully, I don’t visit my mother’s gravesite that often but I think about her all the time. My thoughts about my mom haven’t lessened over the years. On the contrary, they’ve only grown as I enter into different life stages. As you get older, your appreciation for your parents grows, but when you start having your own children the appreciation takes a leap to a whole other level. You think to yourself, “How did they ever do this?” I certainly feel that way, and my baby girl is only four months old. Plus, my wife does most of the work.

When my mom first went home to be with the Lord, I never really gave much thought to the question, “I wonder if she knows what’s going on here on earth?” because she was in the presence of Jesus and probably didn’t care. As more time passes, I do wonder about that question more and more. Specifically, I think to myself, “I wonder if she knows I’m a teacher?” because that’s the career she always wanted for me. “I wonder if she knows I married someone she would absolutely love?” “I wonder if she knows I have a child?” “I wonder if she knows the Lakers got Dwight Howard?” “Would she be mad we didn’t hire Phil Jackson?” Yes. These are the things I think more about as time passes.

Upon reflection, I can only conclude that you can never show your parents enough appreciation. There’s a limited amount of time we have but we don’t live that way. We often live in a way where we think there’s an eternity before our “due date” so we put things off and approach life with the “I’ll get to that later” mentality. It’s just in our nature to procrastinate. Why do you think we are most productive when we have deadlines and the least productive when we have the most time? We’re always complaining about not having enough time. Enough time for what exactly? When we desire “more time” it usually doesn’t involve deepening our relationships. It usually means more time to get more stuff done. When was the last time we thought, “I should call my parents and let them know how much I love them just because”? How much do you think that would mean to your parents? How much do you think that would mean to you if your child called you in their adult years and voiced their love and appreciation?

My mom spent her time praying for everyone she could. She prayed for others to come to know Christ, especially Thai people. She prayed I would find a wife and called me practically every day to see if I had made progress. She spent time serving her community, drove around and picked people up for Bible study, and attended church several times a week. She sure was an example to me.

Recently, I’ve been thinking how she would be as a grandmother to Joelle. My mom would probably be over the house every day until eventually I would have to tell her to stop coming or I’d let the dog loose on her. Without fail, every time she would visit, she would come bearing gifts for little Joelle to the point where I would become jealous and start demanding she buy me a new pair of Kobe(s).

Often, when I reflect on my relationship with my mom, I do have some regrets. I wish I showed her how much I felt loved by her. Aren’t that what most parents want for their children, that their children know they’re loved? The wonderful life I have now is all God’s doing but my mom was the vehicle by which He chose to bless me. She sacrificed much of her life in order for my sister and me to have a better life, but she never saw the fruit of her labor in the form of our current families. She would absolutely love being a grandma and even happier undoing the discipline we teach our kids by spoiling them rotten. Even though I can’t tell or show her how much I appreciated everything she had done for me, the least I can do is to provide the same kind of love and care for my family. I’m sure that’s what she would’ve wanted.

A Night At The Staples Center

November 27, 1916 was Chick Hearn’s birthday. If you don’t know who Chick was click here.
Basically, he was a legend. For us old-timers who grew up listening to him announce Laker games, it’s still a little weird to not hear his voice during Laker games. Last night at the game, the Laker organization decided to honor him by passing out bobbleheads of Chick (it’s my first bobblehead).

No matter how many games I attend, I walk up to the entrance at the Staples Center with eager anticipation. I already know how they do the introduction of the starting lineup but I hate missing it and want to see every time. Okay, so we lost the game to a Pacers team missing one of their best players (Danny Granger). Kobe had the flu but found the strength to drop 40pts and grab 10 rebounds and we still lost. The lost makes us 7-8 and Laker Nation, in typical fashion, is freaked out and demanding Pau Gasol be traded to improve the team. I just feel a need to address Laker Nation with our team’s current state (especially for you who have a cable company that hasn’t struck a deal with Time Warner Cable yet).

Yes the team looked awful last night and has looked awful overall in this first month of the season. The expectations were high when we got Dwight Howard and Steve Nash during the summer for a broken Bynum and some measly draft picks we never use anyway. So let me address some things to help calm down my fellow Laker brethren.

The Bench

The bench is awful!!! Or at least that’s what everyone has been saying. I get it. They’re an easy target for the media and the fans. But let’s take a closer look.

Jodie Meeks was signed to provide some outside shooting but currently has an atrocious PER of 7.31 (the league average is 15) and is only shooting 31% from the field overall. Last night he came in the 2nd quarter and played a measly 3 minutes and they ran zero plays for him. Why are you going to bring in a shooter and not try to get him some shots? D’Antoni started playing Meeks with Kobe in order to open up more shots for him, which was working. However, what happens when Kobe needs to sit and Meeks takes his place? If you don’t run plays for him or set some screens he’s not going to do much for you offensively. Furthermore, if you’re playing him 3 minutes at a time you’re not building his conference much either. Meeks will be fine once Nash gets back because they’ll be another play-making guard on the floor at all times whether it’s Kobe or Nash. In addition, we’re going to need him if we’re going to make a run in the playoffs so it’s imperative we get him going and Nash will do that.

Jordan Hill is a high-energy guy who is quietly having a solid season. He’s far and away our best bench player. Hill rebounds like crazy and can make short-range Js. I would’ve loved if we kept Matt Barns and have those two play the 3 and 4 for our 2nd unit and just bring monster energy because we are sorely lacking in that department. Yet D’Antoni doesn’t play him much because Hill fell out of favor with him while they were in New York. D’Antoni needs to get over it and I believe he will.

Antawn Jamison – much was made about signing Jamison because “We finally have some bench scoring!” Truthfully, I didn’t expect much from him this year. Sure he had a couple of great games in Memphis and at Dallas. But too much was made about him averaging 17pts per game last year in Cleveland. He played 33 minutes per game on a crappy team jacking up 16 shot attempts per game but only shooting 40% from the field overall. There’s no way he’s getting that type of playing time here and he’ll be lucky to get 16 shot attempts in a month with Kobe/Dwight/Pau on the team. It’s also strange both Mike Brown and D’Antoni play him at the 3 instead of using him as a stretch-4. The two games against Memphis and Dallas last week he shot a sizzling 63% from the field and averaged 17.5 pts and 11 rebounds. Did you know what position he played? You guessed it . . . stretch-4. This isn’t rocket science.

Darius Morris is a nice young player. You might look at his awful PER 8.43 and simply write him off. Yes, he’s done some foolish things on the court. Here’s the different between using Morris as the back-up PG instead of Steve Blake when Nash gets back. With young players they’re going to make mistakes but they’ll learn from it and get better. Confidence is always the key for young players. Steve Blake is who he is. When he makes a mistake he’s not going to improve from it. He’s already hit ceiling as a player and is already declining. Why not let the young guy develop? He’s already a better defender than Blake and we could use some youth on this team.

Pau Gasol

Laker Nation wants him traded (what else is new?). It’s been recent revealed Pau has been playing with tendinitis in both knees thanks to Mike Brown's long practices. If you’ve ever had tendinitis anywhere on your body you know it’s painful. This explains his lack of aggression on the court. If you watch him run you could see it’s painful for him. I’m not making excuses for him it’s just a reality of his physical condition. While D’Antoni was in New York he drove Amar’e Stoudemire to the ground so I’m a little worried he’ll do the same with the starters here in LA.

I love Pau. He helped us win two titles. I know he’s one of the most talented big-man in the league, which makes his inconsistent play maddening. But I’m not ready to trade him. Before thinking about that I would consider moving him to the bench as a back-up center. He can’t guard stretch-4(s) and the league is filled with them now. Pau needs the ball in the post and it’s frustrating watching one of the best post players tip-toeing around the perimeter wondering what to do and jacking up 3s because, well, that’s all he could do.

If he were to come off the bench as a back-up center we could play the offense through him and he could get it in the post, which does 3 things for us. First, Pau will be more effective getting the ball closer to the basket. He’s not getting it in the post with Dwight on the floor. Second, he would strengthen the bench and open up everything for everyone else, Meeks would benefit from this. Finally, reducing Pau’s minutes would allow him to heal and keep him fresh for the playoffs. Furthermore, what back-up center in this league could contend with Pau? I’m not ready to trade him. What are we going to get back anyway? He still has $38.3M left on his contract. Who’s taking him?

Of course the media will make it look like a demotion but Pau shouldn’t take it that way. He’d be free to play more to his strengths instead of being exploded for his weaknesses.

Conclusion

There are some legitimate concerns with the team. We still have to wash the Mike Brown stench off of us. I’m also worried about D’Antoni is playing the starters way too many minutes and his inability to think outside the box (moving Pau to the bench, playing Jordan Hill more, not playing Jamison at the 3, etc). But overall, the season doesn’t really start until we get Nash back. I could totally see us have a 17-3 run over 20 games late in the season to grab the #2 seed in the West. Will we win the title? That’s still a question mark but despite the current state of the team, I’m confident will finish the season with a better product that's currently on the floor.

Becky’s Wedding

So Becky got married. I don’t believe it either. It’s not because she’s unattractive. On the contrary, she’s a shorter version of my gorgeous wife. There are two things I just want to point out. First, to me, Becky didn’t seem ready for a commitment like marriage. Before she started dating her husband, Josiah, she had been in a short relationship. People get in and out of relationships all the time, so that’s not a big deal. However, the issue with this particular relationship was that you could smell the stench of horse feces off of this guy a mile away, and she didn’t pick up on it. In her defense, none of the other family members did either. Maybe it was because he was white and white people just trust other white people. Whatever. (Also in her defense, she wasn’t the first person, nor will she be the last, to have one of those, “what was I thinking?” relationships- myself included).

Second, I was the only person who called the guy’s bluff. You know the thing that makes Becky really upset? It wasn’t about the relationship not working out, but that I was absolutely right from day one. It burns her, and I enjoy that.

So you could imagine when she started dating Josiah about 20 minutes after her relationship ended with this “other guy,” I naturally had some reservations. Interestingly enough, he was also white. And you know what? That’s right, you guessed it; the family immediately embraced him. Did anyone ask for my opinion? Of course not, I’ve only had a 100% track record. So what do I know?

I don’t know Josiah all that well, but I did have one conversation with him. And you know what? That’s all it took for him to earn my approval (not that anyone was asking for it). The conversation was in stark contrast when compared to the “other guy.” I saw genuine character in both what he was communicating and the way in which he was communicating it. He had clear purpose about what he wanted to do with his life and articulated his vision like a man who actually had given it some thought. The conversation was pleasant and refreshing. As long as he remembers he’s son-in-law #2 things should be fine.

Fast forward to the wedding day: Josiah and Becky decided to have their wedding reception the same place we had our wedding. I remember it like it was yesterday. My wife and I had a nice swing dancing routine for our first dance because we didn’t want the 7-minute slow song hug that starts getting awkward after 2-mintues. Each of my groomsmen gave an excellent speech, and Becky had an epic emotional meltdown before anyone even handed her the microphone. It was good memories all around.

Now I’m sitting at my table enjoying the moment holding my baby girl while I watch my wife give the wedding toast (she did an excellent job). Then it hits me, I have a child and my wife’s little sister is becoming a woman right before my eyes. All of these memories of Becky start flooding into my mind. Like the first time I picked up Katie for a date and saw Becky who basically looked like a smaller version of Katie with braces and the raspy voice of person whose been smoking for 40 years. I also thought of all the immature rants and emotional meltdowns that didn’t involve having to give a wedding speech. I remember hearing all her complaints about things that were insignificant and wondering if she would ever “get it.”

Flashing back to my table at the reception: Becky was a beautiful bride and looked like the woman she had grown into. My in-laws never had a doubt she would someday “get it.” Maybe that’s the kind of unconditional love and patience I’ll need to give my daughter. Maybe kids from strong Christian families should be given the same amount of grace as those who grew up in broken homes. Maybe maturity can’t be rushed but only nurtured, like it was for me. Maybe there’s a lesson in all of this for me.

Anyway, there is a sense of excitement I feel for my sister-in-law. There’s also a genuine happiness that she found a good man (even though nobody asked for my opinion). Perhaps the most exciting aspect of it all… She’s going to be stationed in Japan for 3 years and the prospect of Becky in a foreign country should give way to plenty of source material for comedic relief.

Selling Out & Buying In – Time Warner Cable

I know I promised a blog on Becky’s wedding (I’m actually half way through
it) but I have to interrupt the broadcast for this important announcement. To my
Laker Brethrens (and a few sisters): I realize that when the Lakers made the
announcement that they had struck a deal with Time Warner Cable for exclusive
rights everyone got pretty upset (me included) because it meant we wouldn’t be
able to watch the Lakers without cable.

I, like my fellow Laker Nation, couldn’t believe the Dr. Buss “sold out.” I
mean, what did he need the extra money for anyway? He’s Dr. Buss!!! Here’s the
deal though, with the new Collective Bargaining Agreement and the harder luxury
tax penalties for going over the salary cap in the NBA, Dr. Buss needed another
source of income to both make a profit AND stay relevant. For those of you who
don’t know about the new luxury tax penalties, the Lakers are projected to pay $30
million in taxes alone this year and a whopping $85 million if they keep the same
payroll next year. In addition, in order to help the small-market teams, the NBA will
implement a new revenue sharing plan in which the teams who make a profit will
have to share that profit with teams losing money to help balance the books
(socialism). That will also cut into the Lakers profit.

So here’s where Time Warner Cable comes in. The current deal with TWC is
for 20 years at an estimated $3 Billion. That’s right BILLION!!! A closer look at the
contract reveals that there are annual raises that bring the deal closer to $3.6
Billion. That’s right BILLION!!! Furthermore, the Lakers have an option to extend
the deal to 25 years, which would bring the total to $5 Billion. That’s right
BILLION!!!

If you were Dr. Buss would you say “no” to a potential $5 BILLION? The
Lakers know you need to spend money in order to acquire top talent. Last year, the
Lakers looked at the luxury tax situation last summer and went into cost-cutting
mode, basically giving away Lamar Odom. However, with the TWC contract kicking
in, they looked at the luxury tax situation again, decided to gave it a middle finger,
and traded for two-time MVP Steve Nash and three-time Defensive Player of the
Year Dwight Howard. If the TWC contract gave to the Lakers the guts to say, “Taxes
be damned” and enter into “win-now” mode, then I’m all for Dr. Buss “selling out”
the fan base.

Despite the enthusiasm for this year’s team the question remains, “How in
the world are we going to actually watch the team?” I’ve been milking my in-laws
for their cable for years, so I hated the thought of paying for it myself. But even the in laws aren’t a reliable option at this point. They don’t have TWC. TWC is in the middle of negotiating with other cable companies in order to carry the Lakers.

However, with the Nash/Howard trade, TWC has all the leverage and is probably
playing hardball. Opening night is 10 days away and a deal hasn’t been made yet. It
will probably go down to the wire. In the meantime, though, my father in law’s DISH
won’t do us any good. Plus, my wife said something about how late nights at her
parents’ house two or three times a week might not be good for Joelle. As a father, I
fail to see how anything related to watching the Lakers could be bad for my
daughter, but I won’t argue with my wife on this one.

Now as many of you know, I am currently working on my financial planning
certificate. This work has required quite a bit of time online to complete
coursework and classes. We’ve had AT&T Internet service for a while now. It’s
always been awful, but it seems to have become progressively worse. Since it was
cheap, we didn’t complain too much. That’s over, though. I now need more reliable
internet in order to do my school work. My wife looked around and you know
which company was the only one who serviced our area? . . . you guessed it – Time
Warner Cable! So being the conscientious student that I am, and wanting to care for
my daughter’s scheduling needs, I told my wife our only option was to switch our
internet to Time Warner Cable . . . and while we’re at it we might as well get the
cable TV as well. (I guess my in-laws will be milking us for cable now.) So come on
over and join us for a game or two… I want to feel like money is being well spent,
and there’s nothing like sharing good fellowship, good food, and good basketball.

The Child Rises – Part 3

For Part II Click Here.


I promised you I would write about The Jammer’s Philosophy on Parenthood. Honestly, I simply don’t have one. Before you get disappointed, just bear with me. Any parent who says they have a comprehensive philosophy towards parenthood, I’m convinced is full of it. No one truly knows exactly how he or she will do things with their child. They only have ideas of what they’ll do. But ideas and principles are extremely abstract and once the child actually arrives, all bets are off.

I’ve seen some godly people have miniature a-holes for children. I’ve also seen young people come from the most difficult types of backgrounds and home lives yet they turn out to be some of the most outstanding individuals I’ve ever met. As a result, I’m not sure how much “parenting” is really an influence. In the end, like in all things, it’s all God’s grace.

Of course that doesn’t excuse me from the responsibility of attempting to be the best father I can possibly be (I wish it did). So here are some of my half-baked ideas of parenting. I know it’ll almost certainly be in a constant state of flux, but I don’t mind it. It gives me full deniability.

Besides, I’m a guy who saw Scarface at the age of five. When I started Kindergarten, I didn’t know how to spell my name but I knew what a Cuban drug cartel was and the phrase “Say hello to my little friend.” I’m going to need some deniability.

School:

I might offend some readers here, but first, remember that it’s only my humble opinion. Second, if you were easily offended you wouldn’t be reading my blog to begin with so let’s just move on. I know it’s popular among Christians to “home-school” their child. It’s a form of “protecting them from the world.” Also some of my most respected elders from my church home-school their children. However, I don’t think we’re going to home school Joelle and it isn’t a result of the stereotype that Christian home-schoolers end up socially awkward, riding unicycles barefooted, dress up like Wizards, Elves, and Star War characters and attend Comic Con (although that may be true).

I just don’t want my child to miss out on all the opportunities in the public school system (e.g., basketball, influence on non-believers, experiencing real temptation but resisting, etc.). Am I worried my daughter might get hurt or negatively influenced? Of course I am. But I’m not going to hide her from it but teach her to confront it the way Ra’s al Ghul taught Bruce Wayne to confront his fear in Batman Begins.

Grades:

Graduating High School was a complete miracle for me. Actually, I think my teachers passed me because they didn’t want to deal with me anymore. I’ll take it. So if my daughter comes home with bad grades, who am I do tell her she should do better? I’ll defer to her mother for that. Since she has half of my wife’s DNA this shouldn’t be an issue. Although if you take my F-average and my wife’s A-average do you only get a C-average kid? I would be fine with that. That’s what I wish I had but my wife might have a problem with it. We’ll see what happens.

Boys:

Never! I would post a clip from Bad Boys II but my editor (aka. My wife) wouldn't let me because of the offensive language (you were warned). Moving on.

Sports:

After getting over my initial disappointment with having a girl I started looking at some of the positives, one of them being sports. I don’t feel the pressure of getting her to play basketball. Actually, I don’t even care if she wants to play or not, but she’s not allowed to be a cheerleader. However, if she picks something like golf or soccer I’ll be bored out of my mind watching her play and I won’t even try and hide it. I’ll just be streaming Lakers games on my iphone.

Music:

I’ll certainly expose her to musical instruments (e.g., the piano) and see where it leads. I’ve always imagined my daughter really taking music seriously and leading worship at church someday, although if that doesn’t happen, it wouldn’t bother me. There’s no pressure at all.

Again, these are only half-baked ideas. My daughter has half of my DNA so I can assure you she’ll have some of her own ideas. Some of the ideas may cause me to bang my head against the wall but isn’t that a part of parenting?

On a special note, I find it absolutely amazing how much I love my daughter. She wasn’t even here two months ago. I catch myself thinking about her throughout the day wishing I were by her side. It’s like falling in love all over again. And if I were man enough to admit it, I would admit I sometimes get emotional just looking at pictures of her. Since I’m not man enough to admit, that doesn’t happen. I remember being single and watching screaming children and thought, “Why would I want one of those?” I had parents tell me parenthood is difficult but it’s worth it. My response was always, “Whatever.” Now that I have a child of my own I “get it.”

(Cutting to: Parents nodding in agreement)

I didn’t think I was even capable of loving a child at all, but life is always changing and sometimes you change with it and in this case, it’s for the better.


Stay tuned next week for Becky’s Wedding blog!!!

The Dark Night – Part 2

For Part 1 click here.

The first night Joelle got home, she screamed, cried and dropped baby F-bombs most of the night. The doctors said this would happen because of the traumatic experience of exiting the womb. Even though the doctors warned us, it didn’t make the dark night any easier (sorry, I didn’t know how else to work in the title).

It’s been six weeks since little Joelle Penny Jamreonvit arrived into our lives. I’m excited to see where the journey of parenthood takes us. I’ve been asked several times, “How’s it feel to be a father?” or a question of the same variety. It’s interesting because I don’t know how to answer that question in just a tweet or two. So here’s me attempting to answer that question with a little more than a tweet.

If you’ve been following my blog, you know my background was a little rough to say the least. I never really thought about and dreamed of having children like most people. I just wanted to survive myself. Why in the world would I spend time thinking about providing for other people when I was just getting by myself? If you were to have told me when I was in college, “We’ll give you a million dollars to NOT have children” I would’ve said, “You outbid yourself. I would’ve taken $50.”

When I found out our baby was going to be a girl, I was initially disappointed because, well, how do I relate with a girl? Having grown up without a father, I now know exactly what I was lacking as a child and all the issues they caused once I got older. As a result, I felt confident knowing exactly what to provide for a son. A girl, however, felt like a whole different ball game. Now what?

Once Joelle was born all that stuff didn’t really matter to me anymore. The abstraction of it all was gone. It went from being the “idea of parenthood” to “Oh Sh**! She’s here!” My background felt nonexistent. I didn’t care what gender the baby was. I was simply grateful she was healthy, my wife was okay, and that we had so much support from friends and family. So do I feel any different? The short answer is, “No.” I still have bills to pay and life is still happening. The long answer is “I’ve been more reflective on issues I hardly reflect on.” For example, I’ve thought much more about issues like child neglect, abortion, and the philosophy of parenting. My conclusions are these: 1) It takes an evil person to neglect your own child, 2) abortion is evil and 3) I don’t yet have a philosophy on parenting (I’ll save this one for part 3). However, if you’re curious, this was my old one: click here.


My role as a man has certainly expanded, and I embrace that responsibility. I know this flies in the face of my motto “Avoid responsibility whenever possible” but child neglect isn’t an option. My wife told me last night how much she appreciated how I’ve embraced fatherhood (she was a little nervous about this, I guess). In her words, I’ve been tender and patient with Joelle and even more helpful around the house. Things have been coming naturally, and I haven’t really thought about “What do to” much at all (Unless it’s time to change the diaper… then I make like a ninja and disappear.) Joelle is still a baby, so it’s not all that complicated at this point. She eats, sleeps and fills her diaper with regularity. The true challenge begins when she can start thinking for herself and actually drop real F-bombs. For now, I’m just enjoying this moment.

In addition, watching my wife tend to Joelle makes me love her even more. She’s an amazing mother. It’s interesting how that all indirectly works. She’s not taking care of me directly when she’s caring for Joelle, or vice versa, but as we fulfill our responsibilities as mother and father we grow closer to each other. That’s probably been the biggest surprise in this whole “having children” thing.

Part 3 will be posted next week and it will be The Jammer’s Philosophy of Rising Children.

Labor Day Begins - Part 1

July 20th was fast approaching. It was Joelle’s due date. She was going to be our first child, so you know there was great anticipation not only from my wife but also from everyone in our lives. I was asked almost daily, “How’s your wife doing?” I loved that so many people cared. I was a little worried because it was the same day The Dark Knight Rises was coming out, and I didn’t want to miss it. Thankfully, my daughter was late so I was able to catch the movie on opening weekend. That was nice of her. However, July 20th came and went. Then a day became another day and then another and soon it became a week.

My wife hardly complains about anything, so when she started complaining about being pregnant for so long I knew it was getting tough on her. She started having contractions regularly on Monday the 23rd. Her contractions were strong but not strong enough to where it was “Baby Time.” That’s the worst place you could be in, that “in between” stage where you’re in constant pain but nothing is really progressing. That went on for two days until the doctor decided to induce her. We were told to report to the hospital on Wednesday night at 8 pm.

We checked in and began the process of…waiting. We figured that this would be the case, so we had come prepared. Our last stop on the way to the hospital was CVS. I had to make sure that I was nutritionally prepared for the event (i.e. sugar). In the hospital room, we got settled in and began watching season two of The Mentalist. I was comfortable and enjoying the show, but then the nurses came in and suggested to my wife that she walk the hallway in an attempt to speed along the labor. It only took one trip down the hallway for her to start complaining about the man’s role in child-bearing or lack thereof. I would’ve tried to comfort her but I was too busy enjoying a peanut butter snickers bar. I would have shared some, but she wasn’t allowed to have anything but ice chips. After several trips up and down the hallway, I got extremely bored and asked if we could go back to the room and finish season two of The Mentalist. My wife didn’t want to because she was determined to induce naturally.

After several more trips up and down the hallway, I started doing lunges just to stay engaged. The nurses looked at me like I was nuts but really, I was just bored out of my mind. Finally, when my wife gave up, we went back into the room. After we finished the last couple of episodes there was still no sign of little Joelle coming. Naturally my wife became frustrated and the pain wouldn’t stop. The nurses would come in every couple of hours to check on her. I know this because they were extremely loud every time they came in and woke me up from my comfortable sleep. I felt like telling them, “Could you please keep it down? I’m trying to sleep!”

By about 9 am in the morning, the pain and fatigue had simply become unbearable and Joelle wasn’t any closer to coming, so my wife decided to take the epidural shot- at least that’s what she told me because I was asleep when it happened. Finally, at about 3:30 pm, she was ready to go! The nurses mentioned it was getting close but I was half asleep so I couldn’t remember.

This is the moment I thought to myself, “Maybe I should’ve taken some of those birthing classes?” Then I reminded myself how much they cost and felt better immediately. I mean why should I take those classes when there is a team of professional nurses around making sure everything goes according to plan? I would only get in the way. If you’re wondering if I contributed anything to the birthing process, I did encourage her to “PUUUSSSSSSHHH!”

I had several people tell me not to faint and that one of the best ways to stay conscience was to not look down. I was pretty good at that until the very end. The doctor said, “She’s almost here!” My wife was exhausted by then so the doctor told her to reach down and feel her head. I thought, “Wait! Her head is down there?” I had to look myself and lemma tell ya, when they say don’t look down that’s probably a wise thing to do. I did manage to stay conscience and pretend I wasn’t completely grossed out. Once Katie felt her little hairy head, she found the inspiration to give it one last push and “POP!” came little Joelle at 4:15 pm.

No I didn’t cry. I did, however, cry at her first ultrasound and felt like that was enough crying. We had family and some friends visit to see the baby. It was fun to see everyone. I guess it’s a pretty big deal to have a baby. I had no idea. I would post a couple of comments and a few pictures on Facebook and immediately received a million “likes” and comments.

So let’s recap. Joelle was a week late, so we were all wondering what was going on. But as a result of her being a week late, I got to see The Dark Knight Rises the day it opened. The Lakers finished a trade for Steve Nash and the Dwight Howard trade rumors had died down. I was able to give my undivided attention to my wife and first child. A couple of weeks after Joelle was born we got Dwight Howard!!! It was the perfect storm for me. If having a child means we get two all-stars, then I’m ready to have another one again next summer.

If you’re looking for more my emotional reaction you’ll have to wait for Part 2 next week.

36 & Counting

I should be doing my homework but instead I’m going to write a birthday blog (some people never change). This is what I wrote last year There have been momentous occasions since last year. I’ve decided to start a second career, we are expecting our first child and in the past few months I’ve lost a couple of old Bible college friends who were about the same age as I am. It’s been nuts to say the least.

There’s something I’ve noticed about myself as I get older. I really don’t worry about much anymore. Maybe by God’s grace, I haven’t been put into a situation where I need to worry a whole lot lately, which I’m extremely grateful for. Sure I still worry about the Laker’s title chances every year, but that’s the only thing I’ve consistently worried about. I haven’t signed my contract to return to teaching yet, but I’m not worried about it. I believe the contract will be provided from somewhere (I just found out I won't be returning to the same school. Bummer.). My daughter isn’t born yet, but I’m not sweating the “life altering experience” (more on this in a later blog). I do stress out about homework, but it always gets done. I’m content with life, yet I want to be ambitious and want to do more with myself.

Furthermore, I’ve learned to appreciate things a lot more. If losing a couple of friends to massive heart attacks doesn’t sober you up, I don’t know what will. For example, the other day my wife and I bought some flowers to plant in the front yard. We spent the better part of the day driving to the store, picking out the flowers (aka the cheapest ones), and digging up dirt to place them in. As you know, I don’t like to work, but for some reason it was enjoyable. Maybe it was because my wife and I are building a home together. Maybe I’m realizing more and more that the phrase, “everyday is a gift” is not a cliché but a theological truth and a picture of God’s grace.

(Speaking of “gifts,” my wife and the in-laws pitched in and bought a BBQ for me for my birthday present. We spent tons of money upgrading the backyard, so getting a BBQ to finish it off was essential. I’ll have to wait until next year for them to get me the propane tank so I can actually use it.)

Now please don’t take my lack of anxiety as apathy. Nothing could be further from the truth. I’m more passionate about the Lakers because of their recent acquisition of Steve Nash (and maybe Dwight Howard). Life is about to get more interesting with a child on the way and Chris Nolan’s The Dark Knight Rises opening next week. But most importantly, the Lord always keeps things interesting. The Lord is inexhaustible. You will always learn new things or understand things you already know even better as you pursue intimacy with the Almighty (I think that’s even a title to a book).

Hey! Maybe the arrival of our first child will increase intimacy with the Lord. At least that’s what I keep hearing will happen. I have no doubt my knowledge and relationship with God will gain a deeper understanding when our baby arrives. This should be interesting.

The Apprentice to The Principle

Back when I was a teenager, without much guidance or positive influence of any kind, I felt I had no purpose. When a teenager feels he/she has no purpose it only leads to bad things. Fortunately, I had a couple of buddies (Dom and Bryan – as if you didn’t know) who also lacked purpose in their lives, so we decided to just goof off until we could come up with something better to do.

One night at a Harvest Crusade the gospel was presented to us and our lives have never been the same since. You might be asking, “How did you guys end up at a Harvest Crusade when you were goofing off all that time?” Let me introduce you to Rick Ronquillo (aka Ronqzz). He was the assistant varsity basketball coach at Schurr High School at the time. Rick was also the youth pastor at Calvary Chapel Montebello and invited us to the event. That’s how it all got started.

Even though as young boys we committed our lives to Christ that night, it didn’t mean instantaneous change. HA! Nothing could be further from the truth. Instead, someone had to take on the daunting task of mentoring and teaching us arrogant and unteachable juveniles. Rick was just that man.

I remember the time when Bryan was kicked out of youth group for his constant outbursts of uncontrollable laughter. By mere association, I was also kicked out (that was unfair Rick), but overall, Rick had the patience to deal with us. There were several times when he told me not to do something shortly followed by me completely ignoring him and doing it anyway. Only years later did I realize, “Man, Rick was right about that one!”

There are many things that I appreciate Rick doing for me, but one story stands out in my mind. I was full of anger and Rick noticed. I didn’t take instruction or criticism well. There was an incident when my anger came to a head (I won’t get into the details), so Rick took me to his house and sat me down and just started talking to me. He started talking to me about my anger and rage. Most people just wanted to write me off but Rick wanted to get to the bottom of my anger. He knew it was beyond the situation on the surface. Through prayer, a ton of patience, and probing questions he finally broke through. My stepfather physically abused me for years before my mom finally had the courage to kick him out. That stepfather left a broken and confused boy behind. The light went on for Rick. He knew immediately why I behaved the way I did.

Then he went on to ask more questions, “Are you angry at God for what happened?” I said, “No.” “Are you angry at your stepfather?” he asked. I emphatically replied, “Yes!” “Do you believe that vengeance is the Lord’s and that He will take care of it?” he asked. Softly I said, “Yes.” Finally, Rick said, “Then let it go and allow God to heal you. Because He can’t heal you if you think you’re the one who needs to take vengeance.” So that night, I believe, God began to start healing that part of my life- a part of my life no one cared to enter into with me before that night.

Interestingly, as I mentioned before, I still managed to not listen to Rick a whole lot even after that breakthrough night. Yes, I was a jack@$$ of the highest order. It wasn’t until years later when I arrived at Biola University when God broke me and made me teachable. The professors at Biola took over, investing in my life, as I became a healing young man who was eager to learn. I soaked up that place like a sponge. One of my professors/pastors, Erik Thoennes, officiated my wedding and mentioned during the ceremony the quality he most appreciated about me was my “teachability.” I’m sure Rick got a nice chuckle out of that one.

In a lot of ways, Rick never enjoyed the fruit of his labor. He had to endure watching a young knucklehead making mistake after mistake wondering if he’ll ever “get it.” In reality, he loosened up the hard ground of anger and bitterness in order for peace and kindness to settle in my soul. It took time, lots of time.

Recently, Rick was promoted to being the principle of John Glenn High School in the Norwalk/La Mirada School District. I’ve watched him work hard throughout his life; getting his degree, becoming a teacher, and then getting more degrees in order to become an administrator. It’s a high stress job with little security. It takes a special kind of person to want that kind of responsibility and pressure, but he realizes all the experiences God has allowed him to go through have prepared him for this moment (Now that he's making six-figures maybe I could be his financial planner - shameless plug, I know.). I have no doubt that kicking out Bryan from youth group, dealing with crazy teenagers and their crazier parents, and coaching basketball will help him be successful.

I called him to give him congratulations. He began to tell me about his struggles and fears. He was completely transparent and truthful and didn’t feel the need to keep up pretenses and paint a picture like he’s got everything figured out. At the same time, he was also confident in what God has taught him throughout the years. It has clearly led to this moment and he was looking forward to the next school year.

I’ve made a commitment to pray for him (as long as I could remember anyway). Whatever happens, I hope he remembers he helped at least one young broken and confused boy find his way.

In Loving Memory of Kevin William Lines

In Loving Memory of Kevin William Lines
January 4, 1974 – May 23, 2012

It was an emotional weekend. On the same day my wife had her baby shower, I attended the memorial service of my friend Kevin Lines. As at most memorial services I’ve attended, my emotions were up and down. When I walked up to the doors of the church and was handed the flyer with the order of service, just seeing a picture of Kevin with the words “In Loving Memory” nearly caused me to break down on the spot. I had to go to the bathroom to gather myself.

In the week leading up to the memorial service, I told my wife about Kevin and what he was like. That also led me to start talking about the people we hung out with. One of the names that popped up was Sean Lowry (he’s one of my favorite people ever). When I went to the bathroom at the memorial service, guess who was there? That’s right. Sean. We talked for a while and decided to sit next to each other. He told me he had heard the news about Kevin from Dave (another mutual friend). Dave had texted him, “Call me, it’s about Kevin.” Sean immediately thought, “Kevin was in an accident” and was ready to take the next flight out of Seattle. When Sean called Dave, he broke the news to Sean that Kevin was already gone due to a heart attack. The news spread quickly. We were all shocked and immediately started praying for his family.

I met Kevin at Calvary Chapel Bible College. I’ve previously written about the host of issues I had during that time in my life. Kevin and I were similar in a lot of ways. Neither of us had ever studied or cared for learning much of anything… that is until the Lord captured our hearts and transformed apathy and indifference into empathy and passion. When we reconnected years after CCBC, I told him I graduated from Talbot School of Theology. Kevin, too, had become passionate about academics and was in the process of obtaining a PhD in philosophy of religion and theology from Claremont School of Religion. We picked up where we left off and started talking about what we were learning theologically and how it enhanced our understanding of who God was.

More than the academics, though, I remember Kevin being one of the most supportive individuals I’ve ever come across. Again, my time at CCBC was a struggle. I didn’t know who I was or what I wanted in life. I would often lash out in immaturity as a result. I thought I was ready for responsibilities but when given the opportunity, I failed miserably. Kevin was nearly always there to encourage me often showing empathy, love, and compassion towards me. He wasn’t detached from people because he was studying heady things. He was grounded and cared for people. He never really liked big crowds but if you were to sit with him in a small group, his joy for life and compassion for people clearly showed.

After his memorial service there was a reception. It was good catching up time with other friends from CCBC that I haven’t seen in years. We shared stories about Kevin and wondered what he would be thinking about all this since he never liked big crowds. Seeing everyone else made me appreciate my time at CCBC even more.

I don’t know why the Lord took Kevin home. I don’t know why his lovely wife, Grace, is now a widow. I don’t know why his son Mason, who is 8 months old, will grow up without his father. I don’t have answers. Interestingly, my church just finished preaching through the book of Job. Job had a lot of questions as well, but in the end, he was completely content knowing God is both just and good. Job was okay with not knowing what was really going on behind the scenes of his personal suffering. Maybe we should be too.

I know Mason will grow up with wonderful stories about his father. Kevin will be his hero even though he’s no longer here. If there was something I could tell Mason when he’s older it would be this:

Mason,

I met your dad at Bible College and believe it or not, he didn’t like children back then. But when you were born something drastically changed him. He didn’t think he was ready for fatherhood but when he was given the opportunity he clearly took ownership of it. He had his diaper bag, a few toys, and other assorted things children needed when he took you places. He loved spending time with you. He loved being your father. If you knew your dad when I met him, you probably couldn’t picture him carrying a diaper bag. He loved learning and he loved people but most of all he loved the Lord Jesus. Your father supported me through a rough time in my life. It was during a time when I struggled to find a clear path in life and your dad was one of the guys God used to help give me direction. Even though he’s not here, my prayer for you would be that his memory and example would be a guiding light to you, that the many people who loved your father dearly would keep his memory alive in you, and that you would become an even greater man than he was because that’s what he would’ve wanted. He loved you Mason. If you ever feel the temptation with bitterness towards God for taking him from you, just remember your father lived for your Heavenly Father. Jesus was his passion. Jesus was the one who changed his life, and Jesus is now the one preserving his life for eternity. You will meet your father someday and he will be waiting for you with your Heavenly Father. You will have all of eternity to ask him all the questions you may have in your heart now. I pray that you love the God your father served so well.

Tomorrow is promised to no one. I think many people wish they could have had a last conservation with loved ones they may have lost. If I could tell Kevin a few things it would be this:

Kevin,

First, I can’t believe you’re gone. It just feels too soon. Second, I can’t believe you’re in the presence of Jesus. That must be absolutely awesome. Finally, I just wanted to thank you for being one of the most supportive people I’ve ever come across in my life. I’ll never forget the compassion and empathy you showed me during our time together at CCBC. Your hunger for learning was infectious and the Holy Spirit supernaturally gave you a love of people. I remember almost every hug you gave me. It didn’t matter if I was spilling my guts, angry about losing my girlfriend, or stealing Josh’s food. You gave me the same hug every time. When we meet again in the presence of our Heavenly Father, I expect that very same hug. I know you never finished your PhD, but you know God better now than any scholar could hope to this side of heaven. So, I say “Congrats!” to you. Thank you for the hope that men who once didn’t like children could turn out to be great dads. I’ll never forget you and the person you helped me to be. I love you bro, and I will miss you dearly.

Your brother in Christ,

Junior Jamreonvit

Reflections On The CCBC Days

Due to the unfortunate and recent passing of our good friend Kevin Lines, who I met at Calvary Chapel Bible College, other friends from Bible college started reconnecting over Facebook and sharing old photos and warm memories of our time together.

(Note: I will write about Kevin Lines and my friendship with him after his memorial service. I still can’t believe he’s gone.)

Every time I think about CCBC I have a mixed bag of emotions. I’ve had some of the most fun and meaningful times there. I also had some of my greatest failures there. But instead of talking about “only the good times” I’ve come to realize that both failures and triumphs nearly always contribute to a person’s maturation and a Christian’s sanctification. So despite my shortcomings, I fondly look back at that time. Here are the reasons why:

Laughter

I can say with absolute certainty that I have not laughed as often or as hard as I did at my time at CCBC. If laughter is truly medicine to the soul then my soul nearly OD(ed). And yes, I still laugh often and hard. Okay, I will acknowledge that most of the laughter was juvenile but still, it was great. There’s a difference between Christian juvenile activity and secular juvenile activity, and I’ve been a part of both. For example, secular juvenile activity would include (but is not limited to) egging someone’s house. A Christian, however, would say, “Wait, we don’t want to destroy property, let’s just toilet paper it instead.” There’s a difference.

When my buddy Bryan and I arrived at CCBC, barely graduated from high school and never really having any real responsibilities, we didn’t know what to except. We just noticed there were a lot of white people. The first day of arriving at our dorm we met 6’9 130lbs Joshua Grooms. Everyone started to unpack. I had to get something from the car and when I got back Josh and Bryan were spilling their guts to each other like Steel Magnolias. Josh knew as much about Bryan as I did in a matter of 15 minutes. We decided to jump him in our gang (figuratively speaking). Over the next two years we would laugh, cry and steal Josh’s food at every opportunity we had.

Later we formed close bonds with Joey Bell, Andre Garces, and Jeremy Camp (when he was a nobody). A semester after that it would be Sean, Moxi, Andy, Andrew, Brandon, Jeanine, Vanessa, Jennifer, Shannon, Jeanette, Jason, Nick, Dave, Sammie, and yes, Kevin Lines. They were some of the most amazing people I’ve ever met. It would take too long for me to explain all of their uniqueness and how each one of them loves the Lord and the impact they had on my life. So I’ll give you only the cliff notes.

No matter how busy things got everyone had lunch together and when one of us was missing, we would notice. "Hey, where's 'so-and-so'?" During that hour of lunch everyday I couldn’t remember a more diversified group of people laughing so much with one another (and at one another). It was such a joyous time and the first time I felt a part of a family. And yes, Bryan and I kept trying to steal Josh’s food.

Worship

I don’t remember a sweeter time of worship. Even after earning two master’s degrees in bible and seeing how theologically incorrect and anthropocentric some of those songs were, they still had a positive impact on my life. Not so much because of their incorrectness but despite it. The main reason was because of the people I was worshiping with. Everyone sang and it all felt sincere. I don’t know if you’ve been in a worship service when no one is singing but lemma tell ya, it stinks. It’s like being at a ball game and no one is cheering but you, and you’re the one that looks like a lunatic. “It’s a freakin’ ball game, you’re supposed to be loud!”

I tend to analyze things to death reflecting on reflections of reflections. I feel like I’m in a house of mirrors with so much reflecting going on. It is possible, though, to over analyze things in the name of balancing the heart and mind in worship. I miss that time when I simply stop analyzing stuff, let my words be few, and allow my heart to weep because I am touched by the love of God. Every morning we had devotions, which consisted of 15 minutes of worship and another 15 minutes where someone from the student body opened up God’s word and read from it. I was in my young arrogant, “I could do things better if I were running the show” stage in my life and those 15 minutes of worship every morning slowly chipped away at my hardness of heart. Every morning, without fail, I knew the Lord loved me. It was humbling. Is there a better way to start the day? I say no.

It helped having Jeanine, Jennifer, and Vanessa singing. They had angelic voices and hearts of gold, which managed to stay uncorrupted dispute their constant contact with Bryan and I. Truthfully, I don't know why they were our friends. If I were them I wouldn't have been. It was probably because they loved Jesus and even Jesus hung out with jack@$$es.

Fellowship

As I already mentioned, it was the first time I remember feeling like a part of a family. The guys and I had prayer meetings every other night (usually for secular rock bands to become Christians so we could start listening to them again) we said hard things to each other when we needed to, and all us of wanted to become more like Jesus. Yes, we were an immature bunch of young guys. But we were a bunch of young guys pulling for each other (when we weren’t trying to steal Josh’s food).

As part of this fellowship at CCBC, I watched a group of wonderful young ladies grow to be confident, selfless, and God fearing women. Most of them are now amazing wives to decent men and even better mothers to lovely children building a house that serves the Lord, a foundation which every society needs in order to thrive. None of us were perfect but we all knew it and we loved each other anyway. Isn’t that what a community of believers is supposed to do? I say yes.

Personal Failure

There are some advantages, although not many, from growing up in a broken home without any Christian influence. One of those advantages is never feeling obligated to appear to have it “all together.” I struggled and thrived during my time at CCBC. I failed at so many levels and at one point thought my life wouldn’t ever be the same. I wasn’t always a good friend to people. I wasn’t always patient or kind. I was selfish and egocentric. I was upset when I didn’t get my way. I felt like I knew everything and that no one had anything to teach me. I thought of myself highly and then God in His mercy brought me to my knees.

It was all a road test. It was a loosening up of the hard ground. I needed a little extra time to mature. I mean, I had Bryan as a friend. Who wouldn’t need extra time? A couple of years after CCBC I started attending Biola University. There were a lot of similarities but plenty of differences. I don’t think I would’ve cherished my time at Biola quite as much without my experiences at CCBC. My friendships were rooted in meaningful things. There was less time for juvenile behavior (although there was still plenty of it) and a deeper sense of responsibility towards my academics. Chapel was actually enjoyable for me. Most of my groomsmen were guys from Biola, and there was plenty of food so I didn’t have to steal it from a guy like Josh.

All of these things were a direct result of having spent time at CCBC, having spent time with the people at CCBC. This, it appears, was God’s plan all along. It was a place where God gave me the grace and room to fail in order to succeed later on. I’ve certainly failed in other ways since that time but unlike the initial failures I had, I know there’s redemption at the end and there’s a purpose and a plan from the God who is both sovereign and good.

I’ll never forget my time at CCBC. There were so many wonderful people, amazing friendships, tears of pain and joy shared, confessions to one another, rejoicing with one another, grieving with one another, being wronged and forgiving, having wronged and asking for forgiveness, being kicked out, being let back in, beating up Josh, getting beat down by everyone else, sobbing over God’s goodness, laughing until it hurts and then laughing some more, eating like there’s no tomorrow and then eating Josh’s food, praying deeply into the night, worshiping in the early morning and then missing breakfast because you were too late and the café closed, reading, learning, getting your heart ripped out, learning some more, and now wondering, “Where has the time gone?” That sounds a lot like life.

What’s In A Name?

My wife is done torturing her mother. For the last several months, she has been withholding our daughter’s name from her despite my mother in law’s numerous attempts to find it out. The torture came to an end on Mother’s Day when my wife gave her mom a card with each letter of our girl’s name cut out and stuffed inside the envelope. It was up to my mother in law to unscramble them in order to figure out the name. I guess white people think this is fun. Whatever.

Once we told my in laws, we decided there wasn’t a whole lot of point in keeping the name a secret any longer, so my wife posted our daughter’s name on Facebook last night to rave reviews. Our daughter’s name is “Joelle Penny Jamreonvit.” It’s important to note that it’s atypical for Thai people to have middle names. Since our last names are so long already we figure, “What’s the point of having a middle name?” Apparently, though, white people like middle names, and it seems they often use them to let their child know when they’re in trouble by emphasizing it. For example, if little Joelle does something wrong, I’m sure to hear an exasperated voice from my wife saying, “Joelle PENNY!” Then Joelle will know she’s in trouble. This will be a bit different from my childhood. When Thai children mess up, Thai people just yell and start cussing up a storm in Thai. Growing up, my sister and I knew that when Mom started cussing in Thai, it was time to run because the sandal was sure to come off and the swat to follow. (Unfortunately, my mom was a ninja when it came to the sandal, and running didn’t always help. She had great aim and could throw it with ninja-like precision.) It was about the equivalent of a middle name, I guess.

The Break Down: Joelle

So, here’s the breakdown of how we picked the name. I wanted a “J” name because my last name starts with a J. It just sounds nice. I was perfectly content with common names like, Jamie, Jessica, Jennifer (ex), or Justine (not so common). Eventually, though, my wife and I decided on Joelle, which means, “Jehovah is God.” Look, I know I went to Talbot School of Theology and have two masters degrees in Bible. And yes, I know that “Jehovah” is a nonsense word. But every time I try and explain this to people no one seems to care. Whatever. Joelle sounds nice anyway.

Middle Name: Penny

Penny was my mom’s name. I was asked on Mother’s Day, “Is it harder for you without your mom on days like these?” I said, “No, I miss her all the time.” I’ve only visited her grave a couple of times since her passing. The reason I don’t visit often is purely theological (she’s not there but in the presence of the Lord). I don’t need reminders that a big part of my life is no longer here. I have pictures of my mom all over the house and I think about her often, especially these last several months because Joelle will be screaming bloody murder soon. I wonder how she would take the news that I’m having a child. She would be excited beyond containment, overflowing with thankful enjoy. She would also be deathly afraid I would screw up somehow and forget to feed my daughter or something, but then she would realize Katie is her mother and that she has nothing to worry about.

Every time I run into people who knew my mom (and there’s a lot of them) they always mention a story I haven’t heard about her and how they were so touched by the way she lived the gospel and loved others with the love of Jesus. I hope Joelle loves people the way my mom loved people (Unless she’s on the basketball court, then I want her to destroy people with assassin-like proficiency.). I’m looking forward to telling my daughter dozens of stories about her grandmother. Joelle will shortly realize the impact her grandma had on her father’s life and will also feel a sense of love as well, much in the same way my wife does without ever meeting my mom.

My hope is that those stories inspire Joelle to love much because she is touched by the love of God in the same manner her grandma was. When she gets old enough, I’ll take her to visit grandma’s gravesite to see that grandma was real, and that death is also real. I’ll want her to realize that as a result, we should live our lives with Kingdom purpose, just like Grandma Penny did, for tomorrow is promised to no one.

Last But Not Least: Jamreonvit

A person’s last name has their legacy attached to it. Throughout the Bible, the Lord was very concerned about His Name and what it meant to Him and to His people. It was a window into His character. If you know me or have been following this blog for any amount of time, you’ll know I grew up without a father.

I remember watching a documentary on Ray Lewis who also grew up without a father. He took his mother’s name (Lewis) instead of his father’s name because his mother was there for him and his dad never was. There was bitterness in his voice when he spoke about his father. Lewis was extremely emphatic about not wanting to know his father and that having his mother was enough for him.

I have my father’s name, but I’m not my father. I’m sure some psychologist would tell me that because I lacked a father growing up, it’ll impact my parenting. Of course it will. I’m determined NOT to be him. I’m not bitter towards my father anymore. It just takes too much emotional energy to be angry with someone who isn’t even around. I can use that emotional energy towards loving my family, loving my Lord, and yelling at refs. I’m not going to change my name the way Lewis did. I’m just going to redefine it. Joelle will know her father and know him well. She will be a part of redefining the family name. (That is until some jerk marries her and changes it.)

So, in summary, Joelle is an extension of my mom, a part of my wife and I, and will be her own person (who doesn’t play soccer). I have no idea how she’ll turn out. If she turns out to be like my mom and wife, she’ll be one of the most godly women in history and absolutely beautiful. However, she has half of my DNA and may have anger issues as a result. So, we may have some challenges to work through, but that’s what makes parenthood so interesting, right?

Starbucks Advantages

Who doesn’t like Starbucks coffee? Starbucks has become a permanent fixture of our culture, so much so that other countries have decided to open franchises and overcharge their people for coffee as well. Recently, Starbucks brought back “Happy Hour” which means that during the hours of 3pm to 5pm, a frappuccino blended beverage is only half price! So, during these two wondrous hours, Starbucks is only half screwing their customers. Of course, what is most certainly to follow is absolute madness for those two hours at your local Starbucks, right? Far be it from me to miss out on this opportunity.
Last week, I decided to take the plunge and arrived at a local Starbucks a couple of minutes before 3pm. Yes, people were already forming a line. There were a couple of high-school girls waiting for their drinks, and the barista already had about 27 cups lined up. I took my place in line and began to watch the madness. As the barista finished up one of the drinks for a high school girl, she looked at it disdainfully and said, “Put more whipped cream!” The barista, wanting to make sure he had the correct drink, pointed to the cup and asked, “This one?” She replied with even more disdain, “Yeah!” as though he was supposed to know which one out of the 27 other cups needed more whipped cream. It wasn’t like he was stressed out about the other orders or anything. He kindly added more whipped cream and then handed her the drink. She grabbed the drink and walked out in a hurry without saying anything. Stay classy John Glenn High.

As I watched this scene unfold, I thought to myself, “Maybe she was waiting for her drink a very long time. Maybe she had a rough day and just wanted some extra whipped cream to take the edge off. Or maybe she was just rude.” When I got to the counter, I told the barista, “I guess they don’t teach the words ‘Please’ and ‘Thank you’ in high school anymore.” He chuckled and said, “No comment.” “Don’t worry.” I said, “I’ll speak your mind for you.”

Before being able to place my order, I also had to wait for the lady directly in front of me who apparently had decided to order enough drinks for three different generations of her family and was extremely particular with how each drink was prepared. She examined each one of her 80 drinks to make sure they were done correctly and sent a few back because they weren’t. Sweet! Look, by this point, I wasn’t thrilled at waiting for a solid 23 minutes for a frappuccino that normally takes 37 seconds to make any other hour of the day. Considering the circumstances, however, I figured I needed to be more patient. It would be like going on the freeway during rush hour and being upset that there is traffic.

Adding even more intrigue to this adventerous trip to Starbucks was the random guy who entered the store and walked right to the front of the line while everyone, including myself, had a “What in the heck is he doing?” look on our faces. As it turned out he was looking for some paperwork, which he had forgotten at the store the last time he was here and was asking if they had found it. I thought to myself, “You came at the wrong time.” A moment after, I’m pretty sure the manager told him the same thing. The line was already out the door, everyone looked angry, and it wasn’t even 3:30 yet. Apparently he didn’t have the Starbucks phone app that notifies you when there are promotions going on at Starbucks.

When I finally got my drink, I told the barista “Thanks, man. You have a nice day.” He didn’t really have time to respond, which is understandable but I have no doubt he appreciated a customer being polite and showing him a shred of dignity under probably the most stressful time of the day. So, two final thoughts; first, if you’re planning on going to Happy Hour at Starbucks this week, just know what you’re getting into. Secondly, if you’re a Christian this is a good opportunity to shine like “stars in the heavens” and be “pure children of God” (Phil. 2:15) by simply NOT being a jerk.

Girls In Baggy Shorts

A couple of weeks ago, the Biola women’s basketball team had the “End of the year (season) team dinner.” Any “End of the year” type thing is often a time to reflect on, well, the year, and like most years, it went by fast. Things move at the speed of life, and if we don’t cherish the opportunities given to us when we become older, we’ll just end up bitter old people (and probably fat as well). So here’s me cherishing a rare opportunity I thought I would never have.

This past season I was given an opportunity to be an assistant coach of the Biola women’s basketball team. One of the assistant coaches had to drop out mid-season. The head coach of the team, Bethany Miller, and I have been good friends since our undergraduate days at Biola. I’m making us sound old, but we’re really not. I’ve watch Bethany since she was a college athlete who received the President’s Award (a scholarship that paid 90% of her Biola tuition), got married to my friend, Jared Miller, went to grad school, became a physical therapist, worked as an assistant coach to the girl’s team, and then got hired as the head coach (1st year) and the assistant athletic director at Biola University just last year. She’s one of the hardest workers I’ve ever met and loves the game of basketball. We’ve also been in the same Grace Group (home Bible study) for several years. So when she needed help with the team, I couldn’t possibly say, “no.”

Coaching Girls

I’ve always thought about coaching, but only after I started making six-figures as a financial planner. Also, I’ve never really thought about coaching girls. I mean, how in the world do I relate with girls? Especially girl athletes, since they’re cut from a different cloth sometimes. For example, I was talking to our starting center trying to motivate her for an important conference game. The opposing center had made All-Conference last year as a junior and will probably make it again this year as a senior. Our center played her well and is two years younger. I said, “Two years from now you have the potential to be even better than she is.” She stoically replied, “Yeah, I don’t really get up for that.” Well, never mind. Bethany later told me the same things that motivate guys don’t always motivate girls. “Okay then. It’s time for a different approach,” I thought. It was definitely a learning experience for me. My comfort was my knowledge of the game. Basketball will always be basketball and I love the sport at near idolatrous levels so, I was confident I would figure out ways to help the team.
As I was getting to know the girls on the team and their needs I was impressed with how mature they were. Of course there were moments of immaturity but they weren’t atypical of your average college student. If anything, they made me more settled with having a girl. I probably had a half dozen “I wonder if my daughter is going to be like that” moments each week while I was with the team. It was fun to think about. I certainly won’t “make” my daughter play basketball. However, considering that she’ll end up “daddy’s little girl,” I don’t see how she’s not going to play the best game in the world. Also, since I’m not allowing her to play soccer or any other sport in the Winter Olympics (e.g., figure skating, curling, etc.) she doesn’t have much of a choice anyway.
Beyond the X’s & O’s
What really helped me as a coach is the ability to step inside the player’s situation. I liked to ask myself the question, “If I were going through what they were going through, what would I need?” It’s often like looking at a younger version of yourself, having been at that life-stage knowing exactly how they are feeling and what needs to be said at a given moment. There were disappointing losses, emotional trials, and epic victories, often happening week to week. The challenge isn’t always the x(s) and o(s). Actually, that’s usually the easy part. You study film of your opponents, pick up their plays and player tendencies, and formulate a plan accordingly. The challenge is implementing the plan by getting different people with very different personalities and different perspectives on the same page in order to execute the plan. That’s no small task.
The hard work of seeing your players execute the game plan, which results in team success is well worth the labor.
Another component of coaching that doesn’t get mentioned enough is managing people. When an individual, or the entire team, is on the verge of losing confidence or their emotional psyche is about to be broken, you as a coach need to see that and prevent or know how to mend it back together. Empowering players by transferring the confidence from coach to player can’t be taught in classroom or read in a textbook. It makes human beings created in the image of God that much more fascinating to me.

Girls In Baggy Shorts (you know I had to work the title in somewhere)

Society seems to view basketball as a more “masculine” sport. Girls in baggy shorts and big bulky basketball shoes don’t seem “feminine.” Some of that is true. Yes, I’ve met girls who would rather spend time in the weight room instead of the beauty salons. But what’s harder? Always acting feminine (whatever that means) or being able to adapt to a given situation or context?
Attempting to play extremely hard on the basketball court and maintaining eloquence and grace off of the court is a much more daunting task than always remaining one or the other. These girls were able to pull that off. No, I don’t believe a girl has to lose some of her feminine instincts in order to excel at basketball. I fully expect my daughter to have an “assassin’s mentality,” seeking to destroy everyone on the basketball court while completely acting like a lady off of it.

The College Experience
College was an experience I’ll never forget. I never got a chance to play college basketball at a university, but I can only imagine doing so would’ve enhanced the college experience even further.
So then, as a coach, it was a complete delight to watch the girls grow as basketball players and how that overflows into their personal lives. I don’t know what prepares a person more for real world professionalism than athletics. As I’ve mentioned before, there are a million parallels between life and basketball. Nothing worthwhile comes easy. In achieving excellence, discipline, commitment, and sacrifice are not optional but pre-requisites. I believe the girls learned that lesson. Their teachability allowed it to happen, and those are the lessons that go well beyond the basketball court.

Here’s what five-time NBA champion Steve Kerr had to say about his college experience at Arizona:

I had no chance of making the NBA after my first season at Arizona, much less right out of high school. (The thought actually makes me laugh.) As a slow 6-foot-3 white guy, I was lucky to even stick around for one NBA season, much less 15. I had the "anti–Anthony Davis experience," spending five full years in college (redshirting one season with a knee injury) before entering the NBA at 22. And maybe this wouldn't be true for everyone, but for me, those five years at Arizona were the most important of my life. My teammates from those Wildcat teams remain my best friends to this day. Our loss in the Final Four during my senior year in 1988 remains the single most disappointing game of my life — but one that motivated me for the rest of my career. The collective value of the experiences we shared — every tough practice, every difficult loss, every euphoric win, even those times on the bus or the plane — created a bond between us that will live forever. And the education we received from our coach, Lute Olson, had an immeasurable effect on all of us. He was a teacher, father figure, and mentor; without his influence, the last 25 years of my life just wouldn't have turned out the same.

I have no doubt coach Miller has impacted the girls in this manner and that she’ll continue to do so for as long as she is the head coach. I feel extremely blessed to have been a small part of it.
I'll leave you with a clip.