Route 66

This past month my mom would’ve turned 66 years old. Truthfully, I don’t visit my mother’s gravesite that often but I think about her all the time. My thoughts about my mom haven’t lessened over the years. On the contrary, they’ve only grown as I enter into different life stages. As you get older, your appreciation for your parents grows, but when you start having your own children the appreciation takes a leap to a whole other level. You think to yourself, “How did they ever do this?” I certainly feel that way, and my baby girl is only four months old. Plus, my wife does most of the work.

When my mom first went home to be with the Lord, I never really gave much thought to the question, “I wonder if she knows what’s going on here on earth?” because she was in the presence of Jesus and probably didn’t care. As more time passes, I do wonder about that question more and more. Specifically, I think to myself, “I wonder if she knows I’m a teacher?” because that’s the career she always wanted for me. “I wonder if she knows I married someone she would absolutely love?” “I wonder if she knows I have a child?” “I wonder if she knows the Lakers got Dwight Howard?” “Would she be mad we didn’t hire Phil Jackson?” Yes. These are the things I think more about as time passes.

Upon reflection, I can only conclude that you can never show your parents enough appreciation. There’s a limited amount of time we have but we don’t live that way. We often live in a way where we think there’s an eternity before our “due date” so we put things off and approach life with the “I’ll get to that later” mentality. It’s just in our nature to procrastinate. Why do you think we are most productive when we have deadlines and the least productive when we have the most time? We’re always complaining about not having enough time. Enough time for what exactly? When we desire “more time” it usually doesn’t involve deepening our relationships. It usually means more time to get more stuff done. When was the last time we thought, “I should call my parents and let them know how much I love them just because”? How much do you think that would mean to your parents? How much do you think that would mean to you if your child called you in their adult years and voiced their love and appreciation?

My mom spent her time praying for everyone she could. She prayed for others to come to know Christ, especially Thai people. She prayed I would find a wife and called me practically every day to see if I had made progress. She spent time serving her community, drove around and picked people up for Bible study, and attended church several times a week. She sure was an example to me.

Recently, I’ve been thinking how she would be as a grandmother to Joelle. My mom would probably be over the house every day until eventually I would have to tell her to stop coming or I’d let the dog loose on her. Without fail, every time she would visit, she would come bearing gifts for little Joelle to the point where I would become jealous and start demanding she buy me a new pair of Kobe(s).

Often, when I reflect on my relationship with my mom, I do have some regrets. I wish I showed her how much I felt loved by her. Aren’t that what most parents want for their children, that their children know they’re loved? The wonderful life I have now is all God’s doing but my mom was the vehicle by which He chose to bless me. She sacrificed much of her life in order for my sister and me to have a better life, but she never saw the fruit of her labor in the form of our current families. She would absolutely love being a grandma and even happier undoing the discipline we teach our kids by spoiling them rotten. Even though I can’t tell or show her how much I appreciated everything she had done for me, the least I can do is to provide the same kind of love and care for my family. I’m sure that’s what she would’ve wanted.