So Becky got married. I don’t believe it either. It’s not because she’s unattractive. On the contrary, she’s a shorter version of my gorgeous wife. There are two things I just want to point out. First, to me, Becky didn’t seem ready for a commitment like marriage. Before she started dating her husband, Josiah, she had been in a short relationship. People get in and out of relationships all the time, so that’s not a big deal. However, the issue with this particular relationship was that you could smell the stench of horse feces off of this guy a mile away, and she didn’t pick up on it. In her defense, none of the other family members did either. Maybe it was because he was white and white people just trust other white people. Whatever. (Also in her defense, she wasn’t the first person, nor will she be the last, to have one of those, “what was I thinking?” relationships- myself included).
Second, I was the only person who called the guy’s bluff. You know the thing that makes Becky really upset? It wasn’t about the relationship not working out, but that I was absolutely right from day one. It burns her, and I enjoy that.
So you could imagine when she started dating Josiah about 20 minutes after her relationship ended with this “other guy,” I naturally had some reservations. Interestingly enough, he was also white. And you know what? That’s right, you guessed it; the family immediately embraced him. Did anyone ask for my opinion? Of course not, I’ve only had a 100% track record. So what do I know?
I don’t know Josiah all that well, but I did have one conversation with him. And you know what? That’s all it took for him to earn my approval (not that anyone was asking for it). The conversation was in stark contrast when compared to the “other guy.” I saw genuine character in both what he was communicating and the way in which he was communicating it. He had clear purpose about what he wanted to do with his life and articulated his vision like a man who actually had given it some thought. The conversation was pleasant and refreshing. As long as he remembers he’s son-in-law #2 things should be fine.
Fast forward to the wedding day: Josiah and Becky decided to have their wedding reception the same place we had our wedding. I remember it like it was yesterday. My wife and I had a nice swing dancing routine for our first dance because we didn’t want the 7-minute slow song hug that starts getting awkward after 2-mintues. Each of my groomsmen gave an excellent speech, and Becky had an epic emotional meltdown before anyone even handed her the microphone. It was good memories all around.
Now I’m sitting at my table enjoying the moment holding my baby girl while I watch my wife give the wedding toast (she did an excellent job). Then it hits me, I have a child and my wife’s little sister is becoming a woman right before my eyes. All of these memories of Becky start flooding into my mind. Like the first time I picked up Katie for a date and saw Becky who basically looked like a smaller version of Katie with braces and the raspy voice of person whose been smoking for 40 years. I also thought of all the immature rants and emotional meltdowns that didn’t involve having to give a wedding speech. I remember hearing all her complaints about things that were insignificant and wondering if she would ever “get it.”
Flashing back to my table at the reception: Becky was a beautiful bride and looked like the woman she had grown into. My in-laws never had a doubt she would someday “get it.” Maybe that’s the kind of unconditional love and patience I’ll need to give my daughter. Maybe kids from strong Christian families should be given the same amount of grace as those who grew up in broken homes. Maybe maturity can’t be rushed but only nurtured, like it was for me. Maybe there’s a lesson in all of this for me.
Anyway, there is a sense of excitement I feel for my sister-in-law. There’s also a genuine happiness that she found a good man (even though nobody asked for my opinion). Perhaps the most exciting aspect of it all… She’s going to be stationed in Japan for 3 years and the prospect of Becky in a foreign country should give way to plenty of source material for comedic relief.
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