A Journey to Jared’s

Last month was my 4th year wedding anniversary. Where does the time go? This blog is for those of you wondering what I got my wife for a gift and some advice for young husbands. As usual, I waited until the last minute to actually start thinking about what I should get my wife. This process always stresses me out. Maybe that’s why I tend to procrastinate and hope something just comes to mind, even though I know that doesn’t work.

It’s difficult having your anniversary in January because it’s between Christmas AND Valentine’s Day. So I have to think about gifts for my wife for three straight months. It’s triple the stress. This year I decided to listen to the TV and go to Jared’s. Yes, “He went to Jared’s.” I’m told that’s where husbands go when they really love their wives. Also, I figured if I dropped a nice chunk of coinage for our anniversary then I could get away with the half-@$$ flowers and chocolate for Valentine’s Day that everyone else does.

When I arrived at Jared’s, I was already thinking, “I’m getting her a bracelet. Don’t let them talk you into anything else!” I also had a dollar range in my mind and I was determined not to deviate from it. Once I walked into the store, I immediately felt out of place. I know nothing about jewelry, and I was too lazy to do any research. There was a young lady who greeted me at the door. She said, “Hello, welcome to Jared’s. Is this your first time here?” I felt that was a rhetorical question but I answered anyway. “Yes. It’s my first time here.” Translation: I have no idea what I’m doing. She replied, “Would you like a tour?” I calmly looked around the store and thought to myself, “I can see the entire store from where I’m standing.” But simply replied, “No thanks. I just need to know where your bracelets are.” Translation: Don’t try and sell me something I don’t want. She asked, “Would you like some coffee or a cappuccino?” “Cappuccino?” I replied. “Yes, we have French Vanilla.” She answered. I politely accepted. Translation: That’s my favorite! This place rocks!

As she went to go get my free French Vanilla cappuccino that really isn’t free, she directed me towards both the bracelets and a salesman. He took over with a cool, “Hello. Is this your first time to Jared’s?” I thought to myself, “Does it look that obvious?” Somehow I just know I’m going to get taken, like Liam Neeson’s daughter.

Once my free French Vanilla cappuccino that really isn’t free arrived I was put at least a little bit at ease. The drink was amazing. Jared’s should open up a coffee shop- it was that good. Anyway, I just pointed to a bracelet I liked and asked, “How much is that one?” He kindly replied, “That’s $2400.” I nearly vomited. That would’ve have been some major deviation from the plan of sticking to a certain dollar range. Not to mention, if I had that kind of cash lying around, I would be upgrading my Laker season tickets “for the family.”

Naturally I asked, “Do you have something else?” Translation: I don’t have that kind of money. He picked a couple bracelets out that were more in my price range and I took pictures of them and sent them to my sister and mother-in-law in order for them to help me pick one out. I was hoping they would pick the cheaper one and they did. Nice! On my way home I called my sister and she asked, “How many carats is it?” I asked, “What the h*** are carats?” “So you don’t know if you just got ripped off?” my sister asked. “I guess not.” I replied. But what I do know is I have a gift for my wife regardless and that’s what is important.