A Journey With Jordan

One of my close friends (Jordan Wessling), who I consider a brother, is getting married this coming weekend. As his wedding day gets closer and closer I feel more of a burden to pray for him and his soon-to-be wife. Recently, I started reflecting on his life and what he’s meant to me.

There were the days as Undergraduates at Biola University where we simply attend classes and studied all day coming together at night to discuss what we’d learned in class and bounce theological ideas off of each other. There was also the occasional water fight with other students in the same dorm and the constant talk about the “Christian dating scene,” which we could probably write a book about. Hey, that sounds like a good idea!

We even went to graduate school together at Talbot School of Theology, although we were in different programs. We moved to off-campus apartments along with other friends and continued our studies for another couple of years. We never got tired of trying to figure out different theological ideas and the nature of women, the latter being the most ambitious of subjects.

Jordan has helped me grow in my intellectual life, never allowing me to fall into a system of beliefs without truly thinking well about and have good reasons for my beliefs. He would meet complex theological/philosophical issues head-on and often study the night away to figure out answers. Throughout graduate school, we would often try and figure out difficult ideas together and even share our research as we wrote about related or similar topics. We differ quite a bit on some theological issues but regardless of those differences I consider him nothing less than a brother.

Despite being an absolute geek, however, he wasn’t socially awkward. Far from it, he was usually the life of the party. I was always amazed at how he could simply mingle with the crowd no matter what the crowd may be. While undergraduates, he was involved in a ministry that street witnessed to homeless people in Hollywood. He got along with everyone at the dorm we lived in no matter the social group (e.g., artsy, geeks, jocks, etc.). When we moved to off-campus apartments we met an Indian neighbor who had a 22-year-old son with Autism, named Abdul. Abdul was one of the most annoying people I’ve ever met but Jordan handled him with care and Christ-like love often times inviting him into our apartment and cooking him dinner. I’ll never forget the times when I vented my frustrations about my fruitless efforts of pursuing Katie. He would offer advice and patiently listen to my constant wining about it.

To further illustrate our friendship; there was this dark time in our lives called the “Girlfriendless Era.” Jordan got a book by Henry Cloud called, “How to get a date worth keeping” (dumb title). He read it and dissected it like one of his philosophy textbooks. The basic premise of the book was to balance the notion from Joshua Harris’ “I Kiss Dating Good-Bye”(or what I like to call “Saying hello to bad exegesis” or “The Chief end of all men is to avoid dating forever”) that dating isn’t really that bad. Frankly, Cloud wants you to date EVERYONE! It would be beyond the scope of this blog to go any further into the book but Jordan and I simply tried the premise of dating several people, not for the purposes of marriage but for the purpose of simply getting to know other people. By the end of the month we had gone on so many “dates” that we were emotionally exhausted and dead broke as a result of going on these “dates” We would debrief after every “date” and shared our experiences and decided to modify some of Cloud’s ideas because we were tired of going broke (I keep putting “dates” in quotes because it’s not what people normally think of when they hear “date.” Again, I can’t get into right now.). It was a great time of learning and self-discovery. And it was great to walk through that with a friend (Sorry, I cant’ really get into the results right now either because, well, it’s about Jordan right now). He even coined the term “Cloudian Dating.”

Jordan has had commitment issues in the past. So to hear that he’s making the life-long commitment of marriage to the woman he loves is a delight to me. We’re all growing up. I guess it had to happen some time. As a result of Jordan’s marriage, I realize that I’ll be playing a diminished role as a friend. He’s priority is his wife, as it was meant to be. He’ll attend a different church and have different immediate friends with other ministers that will serve as his pastor(s). That’s just the reality of the ever-changing life-stage we all go through. What won’t change is my commitment to Jordan as a friend. I can always commit to praying for him and his marriage, have times for occasional phone calls to catch up and bounce ideas whether theological or practical, and when time permits, enjoy each other’s company and reminisce of pre-mortgage days and when our wives used to think we were funny.

One of the most memorable times during my wedding weekend was the morning of my wedding day when I spent it with my groomsmen (Jordan being one of them of course). It was a time of “sober joy” in which we had fun but we also took it seriously. My guys shared some difficult things about both their failures and successes as a husband. No one was being pretentious but simply being real. Their desire for me to not make the same mistakes but share in the wonderful experience of a good marriage that honors God was clearly evident.

Jordan hasn’t given a lot of thought on how he wants to structure this weekend. It’s maddening. But that’s also Jordan and you simply just roll with it. This weekend, I’m here to support him and do anything that’s asked of me. I look forward to his new advantage and will be there every step he needs me to be in whatever capacity. I’m just grateful that I get to play a small part of a weekend that I hope he won’t soon forget. If I had a drink in my hand I would lift it up right now and give a toast. You know what? Lets do it. Right now I’m holding up a Mike’s Hard Lemonade and saying, “To Jordan, one of my most dearest friends, you think too much, you’re flakey, and you didn’t help clean up the apartment nearly enough. But I love you to death and wouldn’t want you any other way (expect maybe help clean up a little more). Cheers."