Thoughts On Some Up Coming Movies

I don't know about you but watching the movies that Hollywood is pumping out is like watching McDonalds make their Chicken McNuggets. It's just gross. Okay, so the movie Battleship is a film inspired by the Milton Bradley board game, which James Cameron criticizes Hollywood's lack of creativity. I didn't really need James Cameron to tell me that Hollywood is lacking in the creativity department. I mean, when I was a kid I had the game as well but I don't remember any alien spacecrafts or Brookly Decker in the game. How dumb is it to make a movie off of a board game? Maybe people think that if Disney could a movie franchise based off a ride then there are no bounds. Apparently there are no bounds for good reasoning either. I think I'll take a pass on this one.



The Rise of the Planet of the Apes is a reboot of the Planet of the Apes series in the late 1960(s). I also remember the series when I was a kid. Even as a kid, I remembered the corny dialogue and the K-Mart halloween level ape costumes used for the show. Now there Hollywood decided to reboot this series with an origin story I said to myself, "Why would I watch a movie knowing that in the end we (humans) get our butts kicked." I mean, are we not the good guys? At least I like to think so. At least in Battleship I know that we'll win in the end because any Human vs. Aliens movies we come out on top, right? How in the world is this a selling point for anyone? I've never caught the Harry Potter fever. Boy wizards are just not my thing. But I could understand why others would be into it. But Apes kicking the crap out of us? Out-smarting us? And taking over the world? Really? Who's going to sign up for that? Animal rights activists? The people from PETA? Do they even watch movies?



The Smurfs Movie is already out and you're not going to believe this but it's getting terrible reviews. The people that are young enough to remember the cartoon are now too old to care. Furthermore, if the current kids generation doesn't know about The Smurfs why would they care? This movie is about three decades too late. But this is just another example of Hollywood saying, "We got nothin'."



In the end, I hope that we don't keep watching and paying for crap because Hollywood would making crap and jacking up the prices to boot. It's like Starbucks over-charging for their coffee. If there are people willing to pay, they'll be people willing to sell.

The Christian Dating Scene

No, this isn’t about the movie The Break Up because I haven’t seen it and have no interest in ever seeing it. This is about “The Christian Dating Scene (CDS).” You know, the scene where we over complicate things and end up with unnecessary heartache. When I was in the CDS I was extremely frustrated by the apparent lack of clear communication between genders. Asking a girl out for coffee has become such a big deal that you feel like it needs local news coverage. Instead of it being a “getting to know you with no expectations in a non-threatening environment” experience, it has become the “pre-proposal stage of a life-long commitment to each other” session. It’s maddening. Once I finally convinced someone to marry me, I told the CDS, “I’m outta here! I’m going to the land flowing with milk and MY honey. Peace!” So anything that happened in the CDS I would say, “What do I care? I’m married now.”

However, I still see the same mistakes made by Christians in the CDS and it’s like watching a Michael Bay film when you know there will be poor dialogue, a bad story and lots of things blowing up. The reason I believe that Christians tend to be poorly equipped in handling dating is because of the lack of training they receive in their churches or from their parents. But I don’t entirely blame the church or our parents either. Here’s why- the social context is in a constant state of flux. Our parents didn’t have to deal with social media or things like Facebook and texting, which accelerate the dating process. They actually had to talk face to face. As a result, they were able to get to know each in more authentic situations by seeing each other in different social contexts and truly seeing the other individual for who they were. Furthermore, when you are having a conversation with someone, you can see their body language, facial expressions, and how they react or engage with certain topics, which helps deepen the communication process. This doesn’t happen as much these days. Now, emailing, posting on someone’s Facebook wall, or texting is considered a form of “communication.” Although a quick way to get a short message across, it does not foster true intimacy. You think you’re getting to know someone when in fact you’re not.

I can’t speak for all churches but my church does an excellent job teaching and preaching the Word of God. But since “dating” isn’t anywhere in the Bible we don’t touch on the topic mcuh. Several years ago we had a “dating conference” addressing the issues with the CDS. After we had the conference you know what happened? Nothing. That was the last I heard of my church addressing the topic. And what do I care? I’m married. But it’s also that very attitude that I believe contributes to the mess that the CDS is still in. We don’t train or equip young Christians to handle the CDS. We believe that if we teach enough Christian principles and preach from the Word of God they’ll be able to figure out how to apply it to their social context. In most cases this is true. But if this is true of Christian dating, then why are there so many Christians who are hurt, left confused, and feel the bitterness or loneliness as a result of miss-handled relationships? If the church (or anyone else for that matter) doesn’t train our Christian singles then they’re left to yahoo dating articles and romantic comedies to help them figure things out. That’s not an inspiring prospect.

It’s a serious issue that very few people address. Yes, there are “bigger” issues to tackle like feeding the hungry, social justice issues, preaching the gospel and the like. But in the midst of these “bigger” (and more important) issues there is an entire demographic in our churches that needs to be ministered to in a very specific way. They need help contextualizing the teaching of God’s word directly and specifically into the dating context. I’ve always wanted to write a book on the topic that’s very different from the Christian Dating books I’ve read (I’ve read more than what I would like to admit.). So maybe I’ll start blogging about some of what I wanted to write. In no way do I feel like an expert in Christian Dating. But it is a topic I have thought long and hard about. As a single Christian man I experienced frustration, loneliness, and defeat in the area of Christian dating. It didn’t matter whether I was simply trying to get a date or was in a dating relationship. My heart was broken several times and it’s never fun. I wasn’t the best in handling relationships myself, also breaking the hearts of others. There were many “not my best moments” moments while in the CDS. Maybe if I had my own book (you know, the one I haven’t written yet), I could’ve avoided a lot of the heartache and non-sense I went through. In addition, I plan on soliciting help from my buddies Jordan Wessling and Aaron Brown (if I can ever get Aaron to call me back). They have great insight into some of the problems and solutions within the CDS that I hope to tap into and synthesize here on my blog.

So let me say this; I’ve addressed that there are issues in the Christian Dating Scene that won’t get any better if left unacknowledged. I will now begin offering some possible solutions to specific situations that I hope will be helpful for young Christians who are tired of all the non-sense, ambiguities, and the general messiness that potential romantic relationships bring. So, next week will be the first in the series The CDS. It will be kind of like The O.C. or Beverly Hills 90210 whatever generation. Instead of trying to complicate things through manipulation and fornication to spike ratings, however, we’ll try and simplify things and honor God in how we handle relationships.

Please feel free to comment away in the comment section and give me your thoughts or questions you may have. Thank you.

35 & Counting

I recently had my 35th birthday. Holy cow!!! 35!!! When most people find out my age they have two thoughts. Their first thought is, “You look a lot younger.” The second thought is, “You act like you’re still in High School.” And they’re right on both counts. I can’t believe in 5 years I’ll be eligible for the 40 and over league (which I plan on dominating).

My sister’s birthday is actually a day before mine. She’s a year younger. I remember growing up and having to share the party and the birthday cake. I would tell my mom, “Hey, other kids have their own party why can’t I have mine?” To this day I still believe that she planned it that way in order to save time and money by having only to plan one party and buy one cake- a tactic I may use myself when the kids come.

As time passed, I’m not sure when I stopped celebrating my birthday. It just became another day in the life of The Jammer. The birthday party simply lost its luster. I didn’t want to be reminded of inching closer to death. Not to mention you get to a point in your life when, if you plan a birthday party, you usually have to pay for that party. No thanks, I thought. If I wanted to hang out with friends I’d just call them and hang out. Simplicity is beautiful.

I realize that I may sound a little morbid or a complete party pooper. I’m really not. I just don’t care for my own birthday. But one of the great perks of getting married is that you marry into a family, unless that family is crazy of course. My family is only semi-crazy. This year my wife planned a wonderful dinner at the in-laws and invited some friends. We feasted on grilled steak that the father-in-law (aka. The Big Boss Man) grilled up with wonderful sides dishes as well. Food. Is. Good.

My wife baked a cake and had the laborious duty of setting thirty-five candles on it. She could’ve just got the number candles and put a 3 and a 5. Then we could’ve used them again for when the kids are 3 and 5 or when I turn 53. I guess she wanted me to have a challenge in blowing out all those candles. After the cutting of the cake we started opening gifts, most of which were cards and gift cards to Cheesecake Factory. Yes, my family knows me well. My buddy Jason Smith actually gave me a hand made card with different pictures of a day trip we took to Santa Barbara with our wives. It was quite moving. My little niece, Maddie, even gave me a card. It was a drawing of me as an orange stick figure. Maybe she went with orange because she couldn’t tell whether I was yellow or brown. I think orange is a good compromise. I proceed to examine the card and tell her all the nice things about it. My mother-in-law (aka The Mother-In-Law) later told me the way I handled Maddie showed her that I’m going to be a good father someday. I told her, “As long as they don’t cry or ask me for anything I think I’ll be a great parent.”

Upon reflection, I would’ve never thought I’d be here. What do I mean by “here?” If you knew me in high school you would’ve thought that I’d either end up in jail or be some kind of deadbeat and you’d be right. When Christ captured my heart the narrative in my life took a drastic turn. I marvel at the work He’s done in my life and continue to grow in increased wonder at His kindness towards me. As a result of God changing my life, I now have a home, the best wife in the world, and a family that cares enough about me to do something for my birthday. Yes, God is amazing and He desires to do a work within our lives in order to bless us all the more. This is our God. Amazing.

A Journey With Jordan

One of my close friends (Jordan Wessling), who I consider a brother, is getting married this coming weekend. As his wedding day gets closer and closer I feel more of a burden to pray for him and his soon-to-be wife. Recently, I started reflecting on his life and what he’s meant to me.

There were the days as Undergraduates at Biola University where we simply attend classes and studied all day coming together at night to discuss what we’d learned in class and bounce theological ideas off of each other. There was also the occasional water fight with other students in the same dorm and the constant talk about the “Christian dating scene,” which we could probably write a book about. Hey, that sounds like a good idea!

We even went to graduate school together at Talbot School of Theology, although we were in different programs. We moved to off-campus apartments along with other friends and continued our studies for another couple of years. We never got tired of trying to figure out different theological ideas and the nature of women, the latter being the most ambitious of subjects.

Jordan has helped me grow in my intellectual life, never allowing me to fall into a system of beliefs without truly thinking well about and have good reasons for my beliefs. He would meet complex theological/philosophical issues head-on and often study the night away to figure out answers. Throughout graduate school, we would often try and figure out difficult ideas together and even share our research as we wrote about related or similar topics. We differ quite a bit on some theological issues but regardless of those differences I consider him nothing less than a brother.

Despite being an absolute geek, however, he wasn’t socially awkward. Far from it, he was usually the life of the party. I was always amazed at how he could simply mingle with the crowd no matter what the crowd may be. While undergraduates, he was involved in a ministry that street witnessed to homeless people in Hollywood. He got along with everyone at the dorm we lived in no matter the social group (e.g., artsy, geeks, jocks, etc.). When we moved to off-campus apartments we met an Indian neighbor who had a 22-year-old son with Autism, named Abdul. Abdul was one of the most annoying people I’ve ever met but Jordan handled him with care and Christ-like love often times inviting him into our apartment and cooking him dinner. I’ll never forget the times when I vented my frustrations about my fruitless efforts of pursuing Katie. He would offer advice and patiently listen to my constant wining about it.

To further illustrate our friendship; there was this dark time in our lives called the “Girlfriendless Era.” Jordan got a book by Henry Cloud called, “How to get a date worth keeping” (dumb title). He read it and dissected it like one of his philosophy textbooks. The basic premise of the book was to balance the notion from Joshua Harris’ “I Kiss Dating Good-Bye”(or what I like to call “Saying hello to bad exegesis” or “The Chief end of all men is to avoid dating forever”) that dating isn’t really that bad. Frankly, Cloud wants you to date EVERYONE! It would be beyond the scope of this blog to go any further into the book but Jordan and I simply tried the premise of dating several people, not for the purposes of marriage but for the purpose of simply getting to know other people. By the end of the month we had gone on so many “dates” that we were emotionally exhausted and dead broke as a result of going on these “dates” We would debrief after every “date” and shared our experiences and decided to modify some of Cloud’s ideas because we were tired of going broke (I keep putting “dates” in quotes because it’s not what people normally think of when they hear “date.” Again, I can’t get into right now.). It was a great time of learning and self-discovery. And it was great to walk through that with a friend (Sorry, I cant’ really get into the results right now either because, well, it’s about Jordan right now). He even coined the term “Cloudian Dating.”

Jordan has had commitment issues in the past. So to hear that he’s making the life-long commitment of marriage to the woman he loves is a delight to me. We’re all growing up. I guess it had to happen some time. As a result of Jordan’s marriage, I realize that I’ll be playing a diminished role as a friend. He’s priority is his wife, as it was meant to be. He’ll attend a different church and have different immediate friends with other ministers that will serve as his pastor(s). That’s just the reality of the ever-changing life-stage we all go through. What won’t change is my commitment to Jordan as a friend. I can always commit to praying for him and his marriage, have times for occasional phone calls to catch up and bounce ideas whether theological or practical, and when time permits, enjoy each other’s company and reminisce of pre-mortgage days and when our wives used to think we were funny.

One of the most memorable times during my wedding weekend was the morning of my wedding day when I spent it with my groomsmen (Jordan being one of them of course). It was a time of “sober joy” in which we had fun but we also took it seriously. My guys shared some difficult things about both their failures and successes as a husband. No one was being pretentious but simply being real. Their desire for me to not make the same mistakes but share in the wonderful experience of a good marriage that honors God was clearly evident.

Jordan hasn’t given a lot of thought on how he wants to structure this weekend. It’s maddening. But that’s also Jordan and you simply just roll with it. This weekend, I’m here to support him and do anything that’s asked of me. I look forward to his new advantage and will be there every step he needs me to be in whatever capacity. I’m just grateful that I get to play a small part of a weekend that I hope he won’t soon forget. If I had a drink in my hand I would lift it up right now and give a toast. You know what? Lets do it. Right now I’m holding up a Mike’s Hard Lemonade and saying, “To Jordan, one of my most dearest friends, you think too much, you’re flakey, and you didn’t help clean up the apartment nearly enough. But I love you to death and wouldn’t want you any other way (expect maybe help clean up a little more). Cheers."

What A Day Part II of II

Click here for Part I

Moreover, that was only the first part of my day. I had to get to my second job (working at my sister’s 7-11 store). My sister Vicky had me train a 17-year-old girl who was working there for the first time. The store is located in the heart of East Los Angeles, not really the best part of town. Great. I had to wear my “big brother” hat as well as my “be nice to A-holes” hat.

This was 4th of July weekend so the store was as busy as the freeway I just got off. As I was showing the new employee the ropes I also had to make sure the 1700 people in the store weren’t stealing, the slurpee machines were all working, and help the 85-year-old woman pick out all her scratcher tickets. I’m truly astonished by people who actually think they’re going to win big with these scratcher tickets or lotto tickets. If most of those people started doing the math, for every $10 they win they probably spent about $100.

For several hours it was a complete madhouse but by the grace of God I was able to maintain my composure although there were several times I wanted to light up some of the customers. Like the drunk guy who couldn’t fill out his lotto sheet because he was too drunk. The line was out the door and this guy wanted me to fill out his lotto sheet for him. I said, “Sure, would you like me to make dinner reservations for you too?” Or the young guys trying to flirt with the new worker. I had to interrupt them mid-sentence saying, “Would you like a bag? (before they could reply) No? Okay have a nice day. Next in line please.” Then there was the dude that didn’t even know how to play the scratcher tickets he bought and wanted me to check to see if he won. Really? Isn’t that like going up to a blackjack table and not knowing what the cards mean? Everyone, including the dealer, would think you’re in idiot and they would be right.

At the end of my shift, I took a deep breath and was thankful the Lord got me through that day as I drove home in my air-conditioning-busted car. What a day, indeed. I’m hoping the Insurance field will help me out of my second job. Even though I love my sister to death and enjoy helping her business succeed, if I continue to work there any longer I might commit a homicide. However, regardless of the rough spots on this day, it was a good day.

What A Day Part I of II

I recently finished my first finance class on Personal Financial Planning. The class got me interested in the Life Insurance field so I signed up to take the Licensing Exam in L.A. The exam was on a Friday and I was studying like crazy that week staying up late nights and thinking to myself, “What in the world did I get myself into?”

Studying for this exam brought me back to my college days at Biola University. However, instead of my college buddies keeping me company during the late nights it was the dog (Buddy) that stayed up with me. It’s probably more productive that way. During college, when the exam got closer and closer I would get stressed out and start trying to distract my buddies from studying. Since there wasn’t anyone to distract I had to focus on studying. Bummer. During the late nights, while Buddy was trying his best to stay awake he would fall sound asleep by my feet. While asleep he would begin dreaming about whatever dogs dream about. I know this because his eyes were closed but he was still growling.

Finally the morning of the exam arrived. I got up extra early to get some more time in studying. Googled the directions to the test site in L.A. and took my wife’s GPS. The test was at 1pm and I left about two hours early. The Google directions and the GPS were saying two different things but I didn’t realize that until half way there. Despite leaving two hours early I was pressed for time. Only in L.A. is there “rush hour traffic” without it being rush hour. My air conditioning is currently not working so it felt like a million degrees in my car. If I’m late for the exam they close the doors and you have to reschedule.

Let’s recap: I’m running out of time despite leaving early, stuck in L.A. traffic while confused about the directions, and it’s a million degrees. That’s not exactly what you want to be going through before taking a big exam you’ve been studying for all week.

I had to call my wife for clarification on the directions. I mean we are talking about downtown L.A., not exactly the easiest place to get around if you don’t know where you’re going. After getting off the freeway, I decided to follow the GPS and it directed me right into a single lane construction site over a set of train tracks. Guess what? . . . wait for it . . . a train arrived and the one lane ceased to move. I was shaking my head in complete frustration while a Cal-Trans worker saw me and sympathized with me by saying, “That’s Eff(ed) up huh?” I nodded in agreement.

After the train finally passed by I was praying up a storm. Not so much in seeking the Lord that things will work out but to repent from cussing up a storm from the train delay. I finally got to the building and parked across the street for $9.00. Normally I wouldn’t mind parking further away if it meant not paying for parking but since I was pressed for time I gladly paid.

Entering the building there was a security check, of course. I finally made it to the test room after 27 total turns within the building. Despite the angst I made sure that I was friendly to everyone. Apparently, the workers there didn’t feel obligated to do the same. You simply hand them your ID and they check your name off of a list and tell you to sit at a computer. If you ask for help they have the “I can’t believe you’re asking for help on something you’ve never done” type of attitude.

Finding my computer I logged in with my password and begin the exam. The test site condition was slightly above a meth-lab and guess what? The air conditioning was not working and everyone was complaining about it. Sweet! Instead of listening to everyone complaining about the lack of air conditioning I thought about the time while I was in High School playing summer league. It was a tournament at Whittier High School and we played three games in one day (9am, 11am, then 1pm). The gym was about a million degrees but we played through it and won all three games. I said to myself “If I went through that basketball tournament I could go through this.” I love this game, so many life lessons to be learned.

I quickly finished the test with 33 minutes to spare. You turn in your paperwork back in the front and the employees rudely tell you to sit in the waiting room. After about another 30 minutes of waiting a person comes out with a batch of papers, which are the test results. They proceed to call people’s names but because of the lack of toner in the printer they had to tell you whether you passed or not in front of everyone. So I watched with eager anticipation as several people went up to receive their test results with a couple of “It looks like you passed” and a couple of “Sorry you didn’t(s).” The person handing out the results completely butchered my name, not surprising, and tells me I passed and to proceed to finger printing.

I joyfully walk up to the fingerprinting lady and tell her “Hello, how are you doing?” She says, “Fine” with a “Why the h*ll are you talking to me?” tone. So I just shut up and let her take my fingerprints. As I do cartwheels all the way to the parking lot I realize I actually paid $9.00 for parking and become upset again. In perspective though:

Life Insurance Exam = $37.00
Fingerprint scan = $60.95
Parking = $9.00
Passing your exam on the first try? = Priceless

My wife packed me a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with some trail mix. Remember that it was a million degrees so when I got to the car all the chocolate in the trail mix had melted to the point where I couldn’t open the bag because it was so sticky. Fortunately the peanut butter and jelly sandwich made it. Now I have the “pleasure” of driving out of downtown L.A. traffic while eating my sandwich. I don’t get how some people think that honking their horns in anger repeatedly and flipping every off would help move traffic along. I would simply tip my sandwich to them as I passed by.

Click here for Part II

The Summer of Prayer

It’s summer time! Oh wait. I have to teach summer school for the second straight year. Maybe I shouldn’t be that excited. Last year, I missed out on a vacation with the family to Mammoth, a beautiful place I’ve never been to. Sweet. Of course I had a close encounter with God while teaching nine boys with Autism. Go figure.

Despite teaching summer school again, I always have goals that I set for myself for the summer time (e.g., How much can I bench press? How high can I jump? How much can I improve my shot? How could I read the pick-and-roll better? How many books can I read off my “must read” list? How many people can I dunk on? Okay, I made that last one up but you get the point.).

I recently finished 2 Samuel and at the end of the book, king David angered the Lord for “numbering the people” (2 Sam. 24:1). The Lord sent a pestilence (an Angel) that killed 70,000 people. David admitted that he did something foolish (ya think?) and built an altar to the Lord. David then sought to purchase a sacrifice off a guy named Araunah. Araunah offered it to David for free but David said, “No, but I will surely buy it from you for a price, for I will not offer burnt offerings to the Lord my God which cost me nothing” (24:24). The rest of the chapter goes:

David built there an altar to the Lord and offered burnt offerings and peace offerings. Thus the Lord was moved by prayer for the land, and the plague was held back from Israel (24:25 - emphasis added).

I was, again, amazed that God could actually be moved by our prayers. In addition, my church is starting a preaching series on Prayer. So far, it’s been extremely helpful. My prayer life has always been inconsistent and at times, a downright struggle. So this summer, instead of having goals that really don’t mean that much in the eternal picture of things, my goal is to bolster my prayer life in a way that my soul will benefit as much as my body does from hours at the gym.

The elders of my church have done an outstanding job of teaching us about prayer. Instead of giving you an exposition on prayer right now, let me just tell you that it’s a struggle for me. If God weren’t real, there are still many benefits to being a Christian. There is a social benefit from meeting with people at church. There is an educational benefit from reading our Bibles. But if God weren’t real, then prayer makes no sense. At the core of my struggle is simply a lack of faith in believing that God truly hears my prayers and answers them (even though I don’t always like the answer).

I don’t know what bolstering my prayer life will look like or what “results” I’ll have. Maybe that’s the difficulty of it all. When I hit the weight room I not only see the results but I also feel stronger. I’ve gone through seasons in my life with rich prayer time but don’t “see” or “feel” any different. Maybe I’m not supposed to see or feel anything and simply believe that I’m honoring God with my prayer time. Even though I don’t have everything figured out, I know that through my prayer time, time in the Word of God, and listening to the sermons at my church it might all come to me. In the meantime, I’m just going to enjoy concentrating on praying for things I know I need to be praying for. And maybe that’s what it’s all about, simply enjoying that time with God and allowing your mind to meditate on things that really matter.

This may be especially true now that the NBA is headed towards a lockout and we might not even have a season next year. I even asked my wife, “What am I going to do if we lose the season to a lockout?” She replied, “Pay more attention to me or I’m locking YOU out.” Well then, without an NBA season I could simply devote myself to my wife, more prayer, and time in God’s word. Or maybe I’ll just pray that the lockout could be avoided completely. Either way, I know in the grand scheme of things that it’s the state of my soul and my relationship with Jesus is what matters, not the state of the NBA. Of course if the Lakers get Dwight Howard in a trade this summer, I’ll recant the previous paragraph.