Originally Posted: Nov 22, 2008
I have heard “the people” so here it is (I’m looking at you, Laura) - Part 3 in all it’s glory. Katie had to give my direct approach some thought, but as I mentioned in part 2, she was taken by it and there really wasn’t much to think about. Of course it’s never that simple with women, but I must admit that this time of Katie “thinking things over” filled me with a little unrest. I kept asking myself, “Will she ever come to her senses or will she kick me in the teeth again?”
In addition to wanting to think things over, she also mentioned that I had “red flags” that she was concerned about. I didn’t really have any “red flags” it was just her projecting things on me because of her insecurities. So I waited as a light with nothing to rest upon, a fire with nothing to burn. The anticipation was almost overwhelming, but anxiety is useless- like a wet blanket on a cold day. At this point, I simply focused on resting my heart on whatever may happen and learning to be content with whatever that may be.
(Katie: Point of argument- yes, even in the “glory” of Part 3 I have things to add- Junior and I have a different interpretation of what “red flags” means. I see them as things that a woman needs to find out before she moves forward in a relationship. There were some things about Junior that I still needed to know, and even though I eventually determined that they weren’t issues that I needed to be concerned about, I had to take the time to be able to figure that out. One can hardly be blamed for caution.
JR: Nothing wrong with caution but when it takes almost 3 years to figure if a guy has issues then there must be something wrong with the observer, right?)
Finally, we went on a couple of dates that went quite well. That was nothing really new to me. Most of our dates go quite well. Unknown to me, it was a dinner at Cheesecake Factory where Katie finally came to her senses, (or lost them, depending on how you look at it ☺) although she didn’t tell me at the time. It was a conversation sharing my passions on theology, life, and why Kobe Bryant should be MVP that sealed the deal. Who would have thought? That’s another reason why I’m a Kobe fan.
(Katie: Junior’s version of this conversation focuses on Kobe Bryant’s role. In reality, it had nothing to do with him. I realized that night how much I just enjoyed being with Junior as we sat at the table for 2 ½ hours and talked about all sorts of things. I really got to see and hear his heart and his passions for everything from sports, to law enforcement to theology and service to the Lord. I finally started to admit to myself that I saw something really special in him. Naturally, being the die-hard Lakers fan that he is, Junior gives the credit away to Kobe, but I refuse to do so. I’d say a few championship titles, an MVP trophy and a gold medal plus millions a year is more than enough for one man.
JR: Yeah, but who’s counting. Go Lakers! Go Kobe!)
Naturally I wanted to do things the proper way. So I asked Mr. Davis if I could date her. He gave me “the speech,” which consisted of asking what my intentions were, highlighting the need to be pure, and emphasizing how much Katie means to the family “so-don’t-mess-with-her-emotions-or-you-will-die”, all with the protective Papa Bear-like tone. (Katie: I have yet to tell Junior this, but he actually got off easy. A high school friend that took me to homecoming one year walked in on my dad “cleaning” his gun in the living room- no joke!) I reassured him that I was in it for the long haul, in case he didn’t know what I went through just to get to this point. He went on to say that he’s been praying for Katie’s husband before she was even born. In my mind I was wondering if God had a sense of humor in all of this, me being “the answer to prayer” and all (I’m even laughing as I’m writing this). After we sorted those things out, he gave me his blessings and Katie and I was officially a couple. All we needed to do now was update our facebook relationship status so the world would know.
(Katie: As I recall, this conversation took so much emotional energy out of Junior that he came back into the house, gave me a smile and a hug, and promptly fell asleep for the next hour and a half. ☺
JR: It wasn’t the conservation with your dad but the 3 years of “cautious” torture.)
This whole saga of course begs the question, “Why would you put yourself through all that for a girl?” “Why get your heart ripped out ‘Temple of Doom’ style several times?” “Why get rejected by one girl more times than some guys get rejected in their lifetime?” “Why get your teeth kicked in over and over and over and over and over and over again?”
All of these questions are valid, so I guess I will answer them. I remember the first few times I saw Katie on campus. I was immediately lost in a wilderness of new sensations. She was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. Her beauty was so overwhelming that it was terrifying, gripping my heart with fear. But it was a fear that needed to be conquered at all cost in order to experience this beauty more intimately. Her beautiful blonde hair was so bright it was as though a gray curtain had lifted to reveal a sea of glass. There has not been one to dress so modestly and yet be so radiant. Every time my eyes were fixed on her it was though the world stood still. There was something extraordinary about her, something that defied description. Words are lost on me.
(Katie: No comments- my heart melts when I read this part. ☺
JR: Of course it does, I’m da man!)
As I got to know her it was clear that she was a women after God’s own heart. She serves with joy, doesn’t expect things from others, and supports me in a way that makes me feel a hundred feet tall. She has the self-discipline of an Olympic athlete, wakes up early in the morning and runs six to ten miles a day, an outstanding cook, lives a healthy lifestyle, has a strong prayer life and keeps up with her devotional time with the Lord, strongly desires to be a mother and supportive wife, unconditionally loves her own family fervently, and is a vessel of God’s mercy and grace to me in the way she forgives my faults past and present.
In addition, her family is amazing. I grew up in a broken home with no influence towards Christianity. Seeing her family makes me eager to start one of my own. She has supportive and godly parents with five other siblings that also love Jesus. They have made me feel a part of the family already (although I probably raised the bar so high in regards to being with a quality man for her younger sister Becky that she’ll resent me forever).
(Katie: My family loves Junior. He fits right in as son # 5, and does a fantastic job of harassing my younger sister just as an older brother should do. The best example of this I can give is when he followed my dad and older brother, Eric, out of the house on the evening of July 4th to “interview” the guys who were picking up my sister and her friend for a few hours. He proceeded to jump right in, asking questions like why the boys had chosen to drive a van and whether or not the seats were removable. I still find it a little suspicious that he knew exactly which questions to ask. ☺
For those who would like to witness the full “Davis-Jamreonvit interaction,” there is an open invitation for an evening of Uno Attack at my house. I guarantee that with Alan and Junior at the same table, this will be a one of a kind card playing experience for you.
JR: I have to admit that “interview” with the guys picking up Becky was pretty fun. That was Bad Boys II style.)
So then, the real question is not, “Why would I go through all that for a girl?” but “How could I NOT?” The wait and perseverance was all worth it. If I had to do it again, although I would never want to, I would. Katie is that special and there is no one else in this world that I would be happier with. That’s why I didn’t wait long to ask her to marry me. I did it before she could come to her senses.
Another question may come up at this point, “What’s in it for her?” I need to refer back to the “Inner Bad @$$” remark in Part 2 with regards to pursuing women. This attitude only works at the initial stage. It serves only as a hook to provoke interest in the women. After you are in an established, serious relationship, there has to be a transition from not making the girl the center of your life to making all your decisions with her in mind. It’s the male’s responsibility to cherish, protect, and provide for her. To cherish her as Christ cherishes the church, to protect her not only physically but also emotionally, and to provide all the means necessary to give her security so that she can thrive and flourish as a wife, mother, and a woman of God. You have to turn from the “Inner Bad @$$” back into the “Nice Guy.” There is nothing wrong with being the “Nice Guy” as long as it’s to your wife. The problem is that we men have it backwards. Don’t be the “Nice Guy” to the girl initially, especially if she hasn’t earned it yet. I could go off on that but I’ll save that for another day.
(Katie: Don’t let him fool you with the macho talk. Junior once brought me apples and honey while I was working in the fitness center, long before we were ever dating, just because he knew I liked them. I also got a home cooked meal and he let me win at miniature golf the first time we ever played. I hardly think that qualifies as “bad…”- I can’t bring myself to use the word. ☺
JR: Again guys, this is all a lie. Don’t fall for it.)
In short, I intend to be all those things for Katie because she deserves nothing less. That’s what Katie is getting out of this relationship. Not a bad deal if I say so myself. We got engaged this past summer and it was truly special. You have no idea the feeling of being at the point of giving up on the girl of your dreams to have her say “yes” when you ask her to spend the rest of her life with you. Well, maybe Daniel Reider does. But that’s about it.
In conclusion, I want to thank all of you who read “The Story” in its entirety. It was fun writing and sharing our story with all of you. At the end of the day my hope would be that we would, in the midst of trusting God’s sovereignty, not neglect our human responsibility and our active role in participating in the development of human relationships. There is a time to laugh and a time to cry. There is a time to be nice and a time to be the bad @$$. Just make sure that you know when to be which one.
(K: I hope you all enjoyed it as well. I’m guessing that there will be parts of our story that we will continue to argue over for the next 50 years, but I guess that’s what makes life fun. I’ll have lots of time while daddy is off at work to make sure our kids get the right version of it, so no worries for me there. J/K ☺ In the end, I couldn’t be more excited and more grateful that I get to embark on the next stage of my life with a man who shares with me a deep love for friends, family, the Lord, and of course, each other.
J: 50 years!! I don’t plan on living for that long. I’ll have to leave Junior Jr. a DVD of myself telling the true version of the story. Besides, the life insurance policy I got will only last for 30 years.)
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