In Memory of John Hughes

Early this month the entertainment world lost an amazing director John Hughes. Sadly, I didn’t know much about him before he died. If you have been following my blog or even my facebook page you’ll notice that I am constantly complaining about the trash that Hollywood produces.

ESPN columnist Bill Simmons responding to one of his readers' questions:
Q: In light of John Hughes death (one of my favorites of all time) I ask you this obvious question about "Ferris Bueller's Day Off": How is it possible to fit so much into roughly an eight hour span?
-- Mike, Columbia, Mo.

Simmons: Glad you brought this up. Four things amazed me after Hughes' untimely passing. First, I couldn't believe how little I knew about him given he was one of the biggest influences of my formative years, and beyond that, I couldn't believe how little thought I had given to him (not only during that time, but after). Second, I was shocked to find out that he wrote "Mr. Mom" and "Vacation." Either I knew this and forgot it, or I never knew it. Third, if you were doing a 10-round fantasy draft in which you could own the entire IMDB.com resume of any writer/director on DVD, John Hughes would go in the first round ... and I didn't realize this until after he died.

Fourth, it's astonishing how completely he owned the '80s compared to anyone else. When I think of a pure '80s movie, there's a specific time range (1982-1987), a specific bent (teenagers are misunderstood and deeper than we think, adults are evil or nonexistent, rich people and school administrators irrevocably suck), a definitive musical feel (can't be fully defined, but you know it when you hear it), a certain rewatchability (good movies that gained steam culturally once they hit cable) and had to resonate with people of that age range (the future Generation X) in a unique way. Well, I was there. I was John Hughes' target audience: born in 1969, weaned on pop culture, geeky and idealistic, loved music, thought way too much about stuff. And really, if you stuck 20 DVDs in a time capsule as a way to explain to future generations, "This is what the '80s were like," you'd have to include these 15 movies: "Fast Times at Ridgemont High," "Risky Business," "Vacation," "Sixteen Candles," "Beverly Hills Cop," "The Breakfast Club," "Karate Kid," "About Last Night," "St. Elmo's Fire," "Ferris Bueller," "Better Off Dead," "Pretty in Pink," "Can't Buy Me Love," "Rocky IV" and "Top Gun." John Hughes was directly involved in five of the 15. This is amazing. And it doesn't even cover "Home Alone," the greatest kids movie of all-time (in my opinion, anyway).

In the last mailbag, I wrote how it's so difficult for anyone to be overrated or underrated in this day and age. But up until the moment he died, you could argue that Hughes was the single most underrated person in Hollywood. I mean, I follow the movie world as diligently as anyone and was still learning things about him after he died. I wish I had written about him before now, but honestly, it never occurred to me to do so. Which is why he was so underrated.

OK, back to Mike's "Ferris" question. So many readers asked me this that I almost felt obligated to figure it out until I remembered something: Realistically, Ferris and Cameron didn't pick up Sloane until somewhere between 9:30 and 10:15. They lived at least 25-30 minutes from downtown Chicago and returned home at about 6. We know this because Sloane looked at her watch right near the end. So that means in the span of slightly less than eight hours ..

They drove to Chicago; dropped off the car; visited the top of the Sears Tower as well the Stock Market; went to the Museum of Art long enough for Cameron to have a life epiphany; cabbed it over to the French restaurant; ate lunch at Abe Froman's table; headed over to Wrigley Field; attended an afternoon Cubs game long enough for the pizza guy to tell Ed Rooney that it was the third inning (and for Ferris to catch a foul ball); headed back to downtown Chicago; took part in a parade in which Ferris sang "Danke Schoen" on a giant float without having rehearsed it; picked up the car; drove home; hung out at Cameron's pool; spent at least 20-25 minutes trying to take the miles off Cameron's car and watched Cameron subsequently destroy his father's car and then tell them he'd take the heat for it (which always bothered me because no father would forgive something that creepy, and besides, unless his father was molesting him, how bad could he have been that you'd destroy a beautiful piece of machinery like that?); left Cameron's house so Ferris could walk Sloane home; then Ferris sprinted back to his house to make it in time for dinner.




Seems improbable, right? No way all of that stuff happens in less than 10 hours unless they basically made a two-inning cameo at the Cubs game and left. (Conceivable, by the way. How can you top catching a foul ball? And if Sloane hated baseball and pushed for them to leave after 2-3 innings, wouldn't the logical next stop for them -- if a girl who hated sports was running the show -- be that art museum?) But there's no way to know, which leads me to the following idea: Shouldn't three Chicago kids re-enact Ferris' entire day and see if they could pull it off in less than eight hours? Bring a couple of Flip cameras, tape everything, see if you can do it and stick the results on YouTube. John Hughes would be proud.

Junior again: I totally wish that I wrote this because I felt the same way about Hughes. But since Simmons wrote it I’ll post it here. At least it saved me some time. Considering what I said about Nolan, I would like to add Hughes to the list of great directors. I remember Ferris Bueller’s Day Off being influential in my life. So influential that I took about 60 days off my senior year in high school, which probably wasn’t a good thing. But that fact that the movie left such an impression on me says something. When was the last movie that did that? We certainly need more of Hughes creativity in the world. Where have all the good movies gone?

Adventures at the DMV

I had to go to the DMV the other day, and I didn’t have an appointment. Usually this means a few hours descending into the lower pits of DMV hell. So to prepare myself I decided to spend extra time reading my Bible and praying for everyone and everything including the 10/40 window. Furthermore, I would bring with me a good book on missionaries to remind me of those who have faced a great deal of suffering and loss but have still impacted the world for Jesus Christ. This way, when I would look at my current plight in DMV hell, I wouldn’t think much of it compared to the real missionaries that I was reading about.

Now, spiritually armed for the battle, I felt prepared for whatever the DMV could throw at me. When you enter the DMV, you have take a number, just like at the butcher’s shop. My ticket was G110. As I looked up to see where the number count was on the overhead t.v.s, the loud speaker went off and the voice said, “Now serving G043.” Good thing I brought a book. I initially thought that I only had 67 spots to wait, but I quickly figured out they were running three other letter categories at the same time (e.g., J012, H054, C023, etc). So 67 spots was more like 1,720.

As I was walking around looking for a seat I noticed that not only were there no seats left but there wasn’t much standing room either. Everywhere I stood I was either in someone’s way or it looked like I was waiting in another line and was asked to move. Finally, a couple of seats opened up and I sat down and started reading my book. About a couple of minutes into my reading, three babies simultaneously started crying in my section. One of them was right next to me, but I blocked all of that out like I was shooting a free-throw in a road game and kept reading. I was waiting so long I finished my book and started reading some of the pamphlets. One of the pamphlets at the bottom actually said, “Throughout this handbook, the term ‘thumb print’ will be used to mean a thumb print or finger print, if you have no thumbs.” Does this occur often enough where you need a footnote? Are there that many people in California walking around without thumbs out there? It just makes you wonder, “What in the world are people doing to cause their thumbs from being severed from their hands?”

When I finished reading I gave up my seat to a mother with a child. I figured the child could play with the kid that was crying next to me. Wandering around the room looking for a seat I managed to find one in a place, which I dubbed the “G-section” because most of us had G numbers and we were sitting in front of a window serving G(s). Since I had finished my book by this point, I started talking to the people around me. The older gentleman to my right who was probably in his 50s, named Bill, was trying to get his license because it was suspended. He squinted, trying to read a form he had to fill out and pulled the paper to within a half of an inch from his face because he couldn’t see it very well. “It’s very comforting to know that I’ll be out on the road with him”, I thought.

Another guy two seats to my left, who looked like he just got out of jail, also had a suspended license and was trying to get it back. The lady to my immediate left was just glad that the numbers were getting closer to the ones on our calling tickets. We were watching the monitor like we were playing Keno at a restaurant in Vegas. There were about five spots left before it would be our turn when the guy who had been serving the G tickets got up from his desk walked away and looked like he was going to hang himself. He didn’t come back and no one replaced him. (California budget cuts, I guess.) Great.

Naturally, I wasn’t really concerned with whether or not he was really going to hang himself. My worry was how they were going to start up the G-section again. By this time the G-section had built up some nice camaraderie and everyone was cheering for me because I had the next ticket. It took a while, but once the DMV started up the Gs again and my number was called, my new- found friends cheered like I was selected to come down on “The Price is Right.” My point in all this: all in all it could be not such a bad day at the DMV if you have the right perspective and make a few friends while you’re there.

Batman News

Considering the current plight of Hollywood pumping out crap as much as a cow farm I am feeling hopeful with the news of Christopher Nolan dropping out of production for The Prisoner and is heading back to direct the third Batman movie. Although nothing is official I remind encouraged.

What I find baffling is how other studios have not learned their lesson from The Dark Knight. I recently heard that Warner Brothers wants to make a new Superman movie in the “dark” genre or at least “as dark as the character will allow.” The success of The Dark Knight was not merely in the fact that it was “dark.” Although that was helpful, the real success of the blockbuster hit was due to the fact that it had a great storyline, character development, and several psychological layers dealing with sociological issues both individually and collectively.

Christopher Nolan says that he does not want to come back and do a third Batman movie unless there is a story worth telling. Did you hear that? “A STORY WORTH TELLING!” He’s not concerned with how much darker they can make Batman or what kind of new special effects would be pleasing to the eyes. It is about the story for Nolan. The freakin’ story!! It seems so simple that making a movie is about a good story, but more often than not, Hollywood wants to sell people on the name brand or the CGI instead of developing something that has any amount of depth to it (I’m looking at you G.I. Joe).

You may or may not have liked The Dark Knight. However, it cannot be denied that the complexity of the characters and the storyline with its underlying philosophical issues intertwined throughout it took the genre of comic book movies into an entirely different place. I wrote this last year after The Dark Knight came out. I’m done with Michael Bay feeding us CGI crap in Transformers 2 and the cheese that is G.I. Joe who actually cast Marion Wayans.

When Paramount Pictures announced that they were going to do a live-action movie of G.I. Joe, I thought it might be interesting. Once they cast Marion Wayans, however, it was like saying to me: “We are going to make a movie about the beloved toys that you, and almost every little boy, grew up with and not take the creation of it seriously whatsoever. In fact, we are going to run it through mud so that you are left with zero happy childhood memories.” Thanks Paramount. What did I ever do to you? I might as well go to the zoo and have monkeys throw their own feces at me, which would have been the appropriate equivalent of seeing that film.


I didn’t know much about Nolan before the Batman reboot. The DVD extras for both Batman Begins and The Dark Knight were amazing. I heard Nolan’s rationale behind everything he did in the movies and it made me appreciate his creativity all the more. Developing multiple psychological layers, quality character development, dealing with conflicting worldviews, and probing the heart and mind of the human soul were all the things thought impossible when it came to comic book movies. Nolan made it possible, and for the life of me I don’t know why other directors don’t take that idea, apply it to another comic book character, and put their own unique style on it.

In short, it has been a long time since I have looked forward to a movie that will be well made and has some level of depth to it, and sadly, the wait continues.

The Dark Knight

Originally posted on August 20, 2008

Warning Spoiler: Although if you haven’t seen the movie by now you probably don’t care.

This is not intended to be a review (I leave that to guys like Nate Bell who know how to write reviews) but a personal reflection touching on the themes and characters that I found intriguing and provocative in the movie. The reason I waited so long to write this is because I wanted time to process the movie and let my emotions come down. Furthermore, I wanted to hear what other people were saying about the movie, critics and moviegoers alike. So what I’m about to say I’ve given a lot of thought to and discussed it with peers whom I respect. The popularity of this movie, as well as the character of Batman himself, I believe reveals a little something about us that is worth writing about, “So…here…we…go.”

Christopher Nolan wanted to make an action movie that was very different than the typical action movie. Nolan wanted a darker, more despairing, and twisted movie. He did so by casting Heath Ledger as the Joker. I admit that I was initially skeptical, much like everyone else, with that casting. I was hoping it wasn’t a Topher Grace as Eddie Brock/Venom type of casting, which made Spider-Man 3 suck so badly. After the first couple of Joker scenes I was immediately hooked on the character. That is the difference between Topher Grace and Heath Ledger, namely, talent. Critics are saying that it was Ledger’s definitive work. Well, I don’t know about you but I would rather be remembered as the best Joker than a gay cowboy but that’s just me. I would have to agree with the critics on that one.

A scene between Alfred (Michael Caine) and Bruce Wayne (Christian Bale) in a dialogue discussing the Joker described him the best, “Some men are not after power…some men just want to watch the world burn.” There is no rhyme or reason for the Joker’s menacing acts. He is evil personified.

It’s clear that Nolan took the genre of comic book movies to an entirely different place. I was completely exhausted after the movie and it wasn’t even the action scenes. It was the themes of moral complexity that make movies like “Hellboy II” and “The Incredible Hulk” look like, well, comic books. Most comic book movies rely on the action to keep the audience engaged, but the action in The Dark Knight was just part of the detail (although they kick some serious tail. I mean, who’s going to forget the Bat-pod coming out of the Batmobile and flipping over an eighteen-wheeler?).

The complexity of Batman’s character and the themes and sub themes in the movie related to him made it difficult for me to synthesize my thoughts. As a result, I decided to just talk about a few things realizing that I could probably go on forever. First, there is something that separates Batman from other superheroes. He is human. How he attained his superhero abilities is his extraordinary capacity for self-discipline. Second, he is a billionaire who uses his resources in order to have the best technology at his disposal to fight crime. Finally, the idea of him becoming a superhero was born out of tragedy.

No, Batman did not come from the plant Krypton or have mutant genes. He is just like everyone of us. Human. In Batman Begins, he devoted himself to fighting crime by intense training. But he didn’t stop with mere fighting abilities. He has the intelligence, savvy, and wit that makes him a great detective as well. Simply put, he has the brain to go with the bron.

This is a reminder that if we truly want to achieve anything worth while it will take discipline, sacrifice, and resolve. So often I just want things handed to me. That’s not how the world works. People who are naturally gifted have a tendency to be arrogant or struggle with being egocentric. Professional athletes are a perfect example whereas those who work extremely hard to achieve their accomplishments tend to have a greater appreciation for the end result. A few questions to think about related to this idea: how many people devote themselves with such intensity for a purpose that brings peace and justice for others instead of self-glorification? Am I just as motivated to do something if it only works out for other people’s benefit the way Bruce Wayne/Batman does? If I had the resources that Bruce Wayne does, what would I do with them?

Again, the whole idea of Batman was born out of tragedy. Here is a person who lost his parents at a young age and realized that the world is not a safe place. Interestingly, Batman’s enemies also suffer tragedy in their own lives but react to it much differently. In The Dark Knight, Harvey Dent and Batman suffered the same tragedy when the Joker killed Rachel Dawes. Although Batman mourned her death and even had doubts about continuing the good fight, he fought on. Harvey Dent, however, did not stay the course but turned into Two-Face. What tragedy does is bring to light the darkest part of our soul. It reveals who we truly are and what matters to us most. In the beginning of the film, it would seem that justice was what mattered most to Harvey Dent. But as the foreshadowing line, “You either die the hero or live long enough to become the villain” shows, what mattered most to Harvey Dent was Rachael Dawes. When he loses her, he loses his entire mission, his purpose became twisted, and his heart was darkened with hatred.

What’s the difference between the two? The difference was that Batman knew there was a cost for his crusade for justice. He had suffered tragedy before as a young child and almost lost his way trying to make sense of it all. In Batman Begins, we learn that Bruce Wayne was wrestling his inner demons of guilt and anger. The conflict nearly led to uncontrollable rage that threatened to destroy him. However, he did not lose his way but stayed focus and as a result was now equipped for the fight. He faced his fears, conquered them, and used the very image that he was fearful of (a Bat) and turned it into an incorruptible symbol that would strike fear into the hearts of those who prey on the innocent. He took that which was evil in his life and turned it for good.

So why is Batman so popular? There is this idea of how one reacts to tragedy and suffering. At a young age, after his parents were taken from him, Bruce Wayne dedicated his life to making sure that this would not happen to anyone else. In contrast, the villains in the Batman world when faced with decisions after a tragedy felt as though the world owed them something and decided to take it, no matter what the cost to others. Bruce Wayne made a decision to rise above his circumstances, and this is what I believe makes the Batman character arguably the most intriguing comic book hero because we aspire to be someone like this. Once again, he is human and struggles with the same things that you and I do everyday. When faced with a difficult decision will we be incorruptible and do the right thing? According to how much this movie has made, I think we at least want to try.

Stella Mare's

A day in Santa Barbara with Dom and Jessica during the summer seems fun enough. Walking up and down State St. checking out the stores and watching the fancy cars pass by was pretty cool. Katie and I even got a chance to check out one of the famous California missions located there.

But nothing could prepare me for what I was about to experience at Stella Marie’s restaurant. It’s an upscale French restaurant that I usually wouldn’t find myself in because it requires class. Once we were seated the waiter brought out free samples of escargot (I feel sophisticated just typing it). I know what escargot is but I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to try it and pretend that I actually belonged there. It tasted like mushrooms, although I still won’t be ordering escargot on my pizza anytime soon.

The ambiance was amazing. I could have stayed at that place meditating like a Tibetan Monk for hours. It had a combination of class and homestead. When the menu arrived I went straight for the entrée because I was too cheap to want to buy an appetizer. The Oak Wood Burning Grill caught my eye because:

Seasoned with Provence herbs and grilled on our wood burning grill,
with fresh julienne vegetables lightly sautéed in olive oil & lemon, and a choice of French fries, roasted Fingerling potatoes or mashed potatoes


Well, doesn’t that sound delightful? I went with the chicken and Dom went with the Filet Mignon. I don’t remember what the girls got because I didn’t care. Now the chicken doesn’t sound all that exciting. I mean, doesn’t everyone have chicken and know what chicken tastes like? It’s uneventful and predictable in most places, but not here. The atmosphere just told you that it was going to be better than the Orange Chicken at Panda Express.

The food arrived and the presentation was exquisite. I almost didn’t want to touch it. Of course that feeling lasted for about twenty seconds. After a quick prayer all of us started eating and simultaneously moaned as though our taste buds had an orgasm. It was the first time I ever experienced that eating with other people.

Each of us was savoring every bite and trying each other’s dishes until we were absolutely drunk on food. I’ve always thought that being “drunk on food” was a metaphor. No, I experienced it as reality and it was wonderful! The food was sooooooooo amazing that I wanted to rub it all over my body. You may think that this is disgusting but my senses were overloaded, and I couldn’t think of any other way to express myself.

By the end of the meal I was already full but I’d be d*** if I didn’t have dessert at this place. All of us decided to get something different so we could share (on top of the free dessert that the waiter had already brought us!). Dom and I had some doubts about the Lemon Cake but the waiter said he would bring it, and if we didn’t like it we didn’t have to pay for it. That sounded like a great deal. I certainly enjoy a man who believes in his product. I took one bite of that Lemon Cake and decided to pay double.

In short, guys, if you want to impress a girl or if you want to treat your wife to something special, you have to take a day trip to San Barbara, catch the sights, walk the beach, walk the strip, and end the day with dinner at Stella Mare’s (Warning: be prepared to drop well over $200 for the entire day. But let me tell you that it was well worth it. And remember that I’m cheap). I guarantee that your girlfriend or wife will decide not to break-up or divorce you for at least another year or so.

stellamares.com

“The Swans Are Not Silent”

John Piper, one of my favorite authors, said, “The Swans Are Not Silent, is a kind of debt I owe to people living and dead whom God mercifully sends my way to strengthen my hand in the fight of faith.” Piper, like anyone else, faces discouragement, emotional and spiritual fatigue like the rest of us. One of the ways that Piper deals with fatigue and discouragement is to look back at the heroes throughout church history and draw inspiration from them.

R. C. Sproul is right that “We need an Augustine or Luther to speak to us anew lest the light of God’s grace be not only overshadowed but be obliterated in our time.” Speaking anew the light of God’s grace is what Piper does through this series. Without this series I would not have known about the lives of William Wilberforce, Charles Simeon, and John Newton. I would most certainly not have known the sacrifices of John G. Paton and his mission to the New Hebrides or Adoniram Judson’s impact on Burma.

As I read about these men, I am filled with great joy that there are great people of the faith that have endured so much for the sake of the gospel. At the same time, I am filled with deep wonderings of how my life will turn out for the furtherance of the same gospel I say that I believe. I have been encouraged and inspired. I have been challenged and convicted through reading these books.

I feel the same way as Piper, “A child of my time,” standing on the shoulders of giants knowing that there is a great inheritance of the Christian faith that I have been graphed into by the blood of Christ. The same spirit that empowered these many great men to achieve a lasting work of eternal value is the same spirit that lives within me. As I hear of their many great exploits there is a deep sense of being a part of something so much bigger than myself and yet simultaneously I feel my stature shrink with humility and my sense of purpose grow with absolute confidence.

To my fellow Christians, I encourage you to read this series (if you have not already) and understand that church history is bigger than our aged denominations or contemporary movements. Church history is God sovereignly working through His people, empowering them to make bold claims in His name and strengthen them as they endure great sacrifices for His glory. Their pain, suffering, and immense loses were meant to display the glory of God not only by their impact during their own lifetime but the glory of God specifically manifesting through inspiring other brothers and sisters in the Lord to do the same for all time.



Books In the Series:

The Legacy of Sovereign Joy: God's Triumphant Grace in the Lives of Augustine, Luther, and Calvin

The Hidden Smile of God: The Fruit of Affliction in the Lives of John Bunyan, William Cowper, and David Brainerd

The Roots of Endurance: Invincible Perseverance in the Lives of John Newton, Charles Simeon, and William Wilberforce

Contending for Our All: Defending Truth and Treasuring Christ in the Lives of Athanasius, John Owen, and J. Gresham Machen

Filling Up the Afflictions of Christ: The Cost of Bringing the Gospel to the Nations in the Lives of William Tyndale, Adoniram Judson, and John Paton

Cut and paste the link below to see online books:

http://www.desiringgod.org/ResourceLibrary/OnlineBooks/ByTitle/

NBA 2009-2010 Schedule

http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/columns/story?columnist=sheridan_chris&page=ScheduleHighlights-090804

The new NBA schedule is out for the up and coming year. Last year, I schedule my wedding before the schedule came out. As a result, I ended up missing the Lakers vs. Cavs game (Kobe vs. Lebron). Now let me be abundantly clear that I wouldn't trade anything for my wedding day or the honeymoon that followed. But if I could go back in time and schedule it a week earlier, I would have. So here is a link (above) to must-see games in the up and coming season. Schedule your life accordingly.

The Story Part 3 - The Return of the Junior

Originally Posted: Nov 22, 2008

I have heard “the people” so here it is (I’m looking at you, Laura) - Part 3 in all it’s glory. Katie had to give my direct approach some thought, but as I mentioned in part 2, she was taken by it and there really wasn’t much to think about. Of course it’s never that simple with women, but I must admit that this time of Katie “thinking things over” filled me with a little unrest. I kept asking myself, “Will she ever come to her senses or will she kick me in the teeth again?”

In addition to wanting to think things over, she also mentioned that I had “red flags” that she was concerned about. I didn’t really have any “red flags” it was just her projecting things on me because of her insecurities. So I waited as a light with nothing to rest upon, a fire with nothing to burn. The anticipation was almost overwhelming, but anxiety is useless- like a wet blanket on a cold day. At this point, I simply focused on resting my heart on whatever may happen and learning to be content with whatever that may be.

(Katie: Point of argument- yes, even in the “glory” of Part 3 I have things to add- Junior and I have a different interpretation of what “red flags” means. I see them as things that a woman needs to find out before she moves forward in a relationship. There were some things about Junior that I still needed to know, and even though I eventually determined that they weren’t issues that I needed to be concerned about, I had to take the time to be able to figure that out. One can hardly be blamed for caution.
JR: Nothing wrong with caution but when it takes almost 3 years to figure if a guy has issues then there must be something wrong with the observer, right?)

Finally, we went on a couple of dates that went quite well. That was nothing really new to me. Most of our dates go quite well. Unknown to me, it was a dinner at Cheesecake Factory where Katie finally came to her senses, (or lost them, depending on how you look at it ☺) although she didn’t tell me at the time. It was a conversation sharing my passions on theology, life, and why Kobe Bryant should be MVP that sealed the deal. Who would have thought? That’s another reason why I’m a Kobe fan.

(Katie: Junior’s version of this conversation focuses on Kobe Bryant’s role. In reality, it had nothing to do with him. I realized that night how much I just enjoyed being with Junior as we sat at the table for 2 ½ hours and talked about all sorts of things. I really got to see and hear his heart and his passions for everything from sports, to law enforcement to theology and service to the Lord. I finally started to admit to myself that I saw something really special in him. Naturally, being the die-hard Lakers fan that he is, Junior gives the credit away to Kobe, but I refuse to do so. I’d say a few championship titles, an MVP trophy and a gold medal plus millions a year is more than enough for one man.
JR: Yeah, but who’s counting. Go Lakers! Go Kobe!)

Naturally I wanted to do things the proper way. So I asked Mr. Davis if I could date her. He gave me “the speech,” which consisted of asking what my intentions were, highlighting the need to be pure, and emphasizing how much Katie means to the family “so-don’t-mess-with-her-emotions-or-you-will-die”, all with the protective Papa Bear-like tone. (Katie: I have yet to tell Junior this, but he actually got off easy. A high school friend that took me to homecoming one year walked in on my dad “cleaning” his gun in the living room- no joke!) I reassured him that I was in it for the long haul, in case he didn’t know what I went through just to get to this point. He went on to say that he’s been praying for Katie’s husband before she was even born. In my mind I was wondering if God had a sense of humor in all of this, me being “the answer to prayer” and all (I’m even laughing as I’m writing this). After we sorted those things out, he gave me his blessings and Katie and I was officially a couple. All we needed to do now was update our facebook relationship status so the world would know.

(Katie: As I recall, this conversation took so much emotional energy out of Junior that he came back into the house, gave me a smile and a hug, and promptly fell asleep for the next hour and a half. ☺

JR: It wasn’t the conservation with your dad but the 3 years of “cautious” torture.)

This whole saga of course begs the question, “Why would you put yourself through all that for a girl?” “Why get your heart ripped out ‘Temple of Doom’ style several times?” “Why get rejected by one girl more times than some guys get rejected in their lifetime?” “Why get your teeth kicked in over and over and over and over and over and over again?”

All of these questions are valid, so I guess I will answer them. I remember the first few times I saw Katie on campus. I was immediately lost in a wilderness of new sensations. She was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. Her beauty was so overwhelming that it was terrifying, gripping my heart with fear. But it was a fear that needed to be conquered at all cost in order to experience this beauty more intimately. Her beautiful blonde hair was so bright it was as though a gray curtain had lifted to reveal a sea of glass. There has not been one to dress so modestly and yet be so radiant. Every time my eyes were fixed on her it was though the world stood still. There was something extraordinary about her, something that defied description. Words are lost on me.

(Katie: No comments- my heart melts when I read this part. ☺
JR: Of course it does, I’m da man!)

As I got to know her it was clear that she was a women after God’s own heart. She serves with joy, doesn’t expect things from others, and supports me in a way that makes me feel a hundred feet tall. She has the self-discipline of an Olympic athlete, wakes up early in the morning and runs six to ten miles a day, an outstanding cook, lives a healthy lifestyle, has a strong prayer life and keeps up with her devotional time with the Lord, strongly desires to be a mother and supportive wife, unconditionally loves her own family fervently, and is a vessel of God’s mercy and grace to me in the way she forgives my faults past and present.

In addition, her family is amazing. I grew up in a broken home with no influence towards Christianity. Seeing her family makes me eager to start one of my own. She has supportive and godly parents with five other siblings that also love Jesus. They have made me feel a part of the family already (although I probably raised the bar so high in regards to being with a quality man for her younger sister Becky that she’ll resent me forever).

(Katie: My family loves Junior. He fits right in as son # 5, and does a fantastic job of harassing my younger sister just as an older brother should do. The best example of this I can give is when he followed my dad and older brother, Eric, out of the house on the evening of July 4th to “interview” the guys who were picking up my sister and her friend for a few hours. He proceeded to jump right in, asking questions like why the boys had chosen to drive a van and whether or not the seats were removable. I still find it a little suspicious that he knew exactly which questions to ask. ☺
For those who would like to witness the full “Davis-Jamreonvit interaction,” there is an open invitation for an evening of Uno Attack at my house. I guarantee that with Alan and Junior at the same table, this will be a one of a kind card playing experience for you.
JR: I have to admit that “interview” with the guys picking up Becky was pretty fun. That was Bad Boys II style.)

So then, the real question is not, “Why would I go through all that for a girl?” but “How could I NOT?” The wait and perseverance was all worth it. If I had to do it again, although I would never want to, I would. Katie is that special and there is no one else in this world that I would be happier with. That’s why I didn’t wait long to ask her to marry me. I did it before she could come to her senses.

Another question may come up at this point, “What’s in it for her?” I need to refer back to the “Inner Bad @$$” remark in Part 2 with regards to pursuing women. This attitude only works at the initial stage. It serves only as a hook to provoke interest in the women. After you are in an established, serious relationship, there has to be a transition from not making the girl the center of your life to making all your decisions with her in mind. It’s the male’s responsibility to cherish, protect, and provide for her. To cherish her as Christ cherishes the church, to protect her not only physically but also emotionally, and to provide all the means necessary to give her security so that she can thrive and flourish as a wife, mother, and a woman of God. You have to turn from the “Inner Bad @$$” back into the “Nice Guy.” There is nothing wrong with being the “Nice Guy” as long as it’s to your wife. The problem is that we men have it backwards. Don’t be the “Nice Guy” to the girl initially, especially if she hasn’t earned it yet. I could go off on that but I’ll save that for another day.

(Katie: Don’t let him fool you with the macho talk. Junior once brought me apples and honey while I was working in the fitness center, long before we were ever dating, just because he knew I liked them. I also got a home cooked meal and he let me win at miniature golf the first time we ever played. I hardly think that qualifies as “bad…”- I can’t bring myself to use the word. ☺
JR: Again guys, this is all a lie. Don’t fall for it.)

In short, I intend to be all those things for Katie because she deserves nothing less. That’s what Katie is getting out of this relationship. Not a bad deal if I say so myself. We got engaged this past summer and it was truly special. You have no idea the feeling of being at the point of giving up on the girl of your dreams to have her say “yes” when you ask her to spend the rest of her life with you. Well, maybe Daniel Reider does. But that’s about it.

In conclusion, I want to thank all of you who read “The Story” in its entirety. It was fun writing and sharing our story with all of you. At the end of the day my hope would be that we would, in the midst of trusting God’s sovereignty, not neglect our human responsibility and our active role in participating in the development of human relationships. There is a time to laugh and a time to cry. There is a time to be nice and a time to be the bad @$$. Just make sure that you know when to be which one.

(K: I hope you all enjoyed it as well. I’m guessing that there will be parts of our story that we will continue to argue over for the next 50 years, but I guess that’s what makes life fun. I’ll have lots of time while daddy is off at work to make sure our kids get the right version of it, so no worries for me there. J/K ☺ In the end, I couldn’t be more excited and more grateful that I get to embark on the next stage of my life with a man who shares with me a deep love for friends, family, the Lord, and of course, each other.

J: 50 years!! I don’t plan on living for that long. I’ll have to leave Junior Jr. a DVD of myself telling the true version of the story. Besides, the life insurance policy I got will only last for 30 years.)