Communal Life Stage

Going through different life stages is a part of growing up. Some people take each life stage in stride. Others may fight each stage tool and nail because of the growing pressures and responsibilities they may want to avoid. I was in the latter category for quite some time until I just finally embraced the necessity for maturity. Da** it!!! No, I'm not bitter. Okay, maybe a little.

One of the earth shaking experiences was becoming a father. It certainly changed my view on parenthood. At least some of those views anyway. But I'm not here to talk about me. Recently my dear friend, Aaron Brown, just became a father.

Aaron and his wife Megan had a rough labor. I could totally relate. By the grace of God, they got through it and Eliot Christopher Brown was born. Even though Aaron don't talk quite as often as before he's no less a brother to me today than he was when we went to Biola University together. I remember being there for his wedding and giving a wedding speech he really appreciated. I remember when he was here for my wedding. He's been one of the most supportive friends I've ever been blessed with. He's offered me wisdom and counsel that was directly empowered by the Spirit of God.

As the due date came closer and closer Aaron would ask me questions on what it's like being a father. We have completely different backgrounds growing up so I could only offer my subjective experience on the matter. I told him how much it changed me. I told him how important it was for me to tuck in my daughter when it's bedtime and how it's amazing when they begin to recognize you as their father. There's also the absolute terror in a parent's heart when something could be wrong with your child. And of course, we'll have those "Shrek 4 Days."

I know Aaron will have his own experiences and process things his way. Even though we live in different coasts I know his journey through fatherhood will enrich me as much as his friendship has. That's why I'm really excited. It's more than just "joining a club" but a deeper level of intimacy within the communal life. I know we'll have long phone conversations processing through different concepts and ideas and help each other articulate our thoughts and emotions, just like when we went to college talking about classes and relationships. Now, we get to talk about our children. They'll be heartache and pain. There always are in parenthood. But I feel empowered having another brother in arms helping me fight the battle of being a good father.

Hey Aaron, welcome to the club.

The Hands of the Diligent Get to Retire

Recently I had a 70-year-old man call asking questions about the Required Minimum Distributions (RMD) on his IRA. I kindly explained to him the rules and was happy for him since he was able to save $200K in his account. He felt healthy and wanted to keep working. Good for him.

In contrast, I had another 70-year-old man call me about a week after. He is a trucker who works 80 hours per week and has not saved anything for retirement. He called because his body is starting to feel like he can’t take 80-hour workweeks anymore and was wondering if there was anything he could do. At this point I’m not sure how much I could help him.

Proverbs 12:24 says,
“The hand of the diligent will rule, while the slothful will be put to forced labor.” Of course this person was not “slothful” (lazy) in the sense that he was unwilling to work. He’s working 80 hours per week! But he has been slothful in the sense that he didn’t take the time to plan and diligently save for what everyone will eventually face, retirement. Retirement could be a milestone achievement “I get to do whatever I want.” That could be traveling the world, go to the mission field without having to raise support, go into full-time ministry and giving away most of your underpaid salary. The possibilities are endless. Or retirement could just be a ticking time bomb where life blows up in your face. If you don’t plan now you’ll be put into “forced labor.” Why? Because you want to put off planning for something EVERYONE faces?

The lowest requirement I’ve seen for opening a personal IRA (Individual Retirement Account) traditional or Roth is $50 per month. I believe most people could spare that money. My wife and I have been more diligent with our written budget. As a result, I’ve noticed more and more how much the Lord really blesses us. Before, all our bills were paid every month so why really think about it. I mean that’s all that really matters right?

Wrong.

After tracking our spending we notice there were a lot of waste that we could begin to reign in. Once we started doing that we found more to give to others, pay off debt and invest towards our future. None of those things are mutually exclusive. But it does take work. Either you begin planning now and live like generous kings later or live like slaves and be put into “forced labor.”

“You work too long and too hard and put up with too many strange people in your life to come to the end of it and have nothing to show for it.”

Investing Minute: January 2015

Holiday Cheer 2014

Every year seems to be a crazy year. Some times that's what makes life interesting. This year at work I had the opportunity to dress up as Santa for the kids and run around making children smile. My boss texted me the night before and said, "My son is too nervous to dress up as Santa could you do it?" I thought, "What's the big deal? Of course I will." How many chances do you get in life to be an Asian Santa? Or in this case "San-Thai Claus." It was fun even though the suit was hot and I had a bunch of pillows taped around me with packaging tape like I was some fragile present shipping across the country. Good times!

Visiting Mom's Gravesite

Since my mom passed away I've only visited my mom's gravesite a handful of times. But I've never taken my family there. This holiday I took my family there not really knowing how I would feel. My theology tells me she's not there but home with Jesus. But it's also important for my children to know they are a part of something bigger than themselves and to know the godly heritage that has come before them. I didn't get as emotional as I thought I was. It was a great time of reflection and realization that although my mom didn't get to meet my family in this life, she will in the next. Hopefully when I get to heaven I'll hear "Well done my good and faithful servant" from the Lord. What I know for certain is I will hear "So you didn't turn out to be a lazy bum after all" from my mom.

Ultimately, Christmas is a celebration of the wonder of God sending His Son to redeem us. "For the believer Christmas secures a wonderful future-Christ's first coming guarantees his second coming and an eternity with him." I would add an eternity with Jesus AND His people. This we can celebrate all year long.

Happy Holidays.

Faces of Grace

I said I wanted to start writing a series called, "Grace Uncovered" but I think the churches idea of calling it "Faces of Grace" is way better.

Today was another Reflection Service my church does to allow the body of Christ to minister to the, you know, body of Christ. It's a way of saying "It isn't just about the pastors up front." One of the stories today really stood out to me. My buddy Ronnie shared how his marriage was in trouble and that one of our elders, Ric, had helped him and his wife through it. They are in a much better place now. Ronnie continued sharing saying that he was convinced that he and his wife wouldn't be married right now if it wasn't for one of our elders coming along side them and helping them fight for their marriage. As a result, I've seen first hand how Ronnie fights not only for his own marriage but for the marriages of others as well. He's a man of God but that was a result of older men coming into his life and investing in it.

That sounds profoundly biblical. Sadly, that's not always the case in some churches. Unfortunately, I have another friend who is going through a divorce. His wife claims he's an abuser and went to the elders with this accusation. Making a long story short, his elders didn't fight for the marriage, didn't support him in anyway, and allowed the marriage to dissolve.

I love that my buddy Ronnie had the confidence to share his marriage was in trouble in front of the entire church. I love that my elders fight for marriage because they take the biblical mandate seriously. I already wrote my thoughts on divorce and how it's a blight on the kingdom of God. I've known Ronnie since he was in high school. I've known his wife Crystal since she was in junior high. It would've broken my heart deeply to see them get a divorce. Instead, because of the examples of our godly elders Ronnie is not only still married but also leading a home bible study and also pastoring and investing into the lives of others in much the same he people invested into him. Ric Rodeheaver and Ronnie Gonzales are two of the "faces" at Grace EV Free La Mirada. I'm grateful to have such wonderful examples before me.

SMART Conference 2014 – Chris Hogan Recap

Chris Hogan is a popular speaker on the topics of financial education and leadership. He also works with business and high-profile clients across the country, helping them develop strategies to increase revenues, build wealth, and secure their financial futures.

It was a pleasure to meet with him backstage and listen to him share his vision. Chris’ passion is about preparing for retirement. Retirement simply means being financially independent and having the freedom to do whatever you want to do, whether that’s full-time ministry, starting your own business, traveling the world, or having floor seats to the Lakers. Okay Chris didn’t say that last one, I did. But you get the point.

When Chris talked about going into full-time ministry or going on a mission’s trip, I started to wonder, “What would it look like for missionaries to not have to ‘raise support’ in order to do what they want to do?” I’m not saying “raising support” is a bad thing. It’s certainly a responsibility for the body of Christ to play active roles in supporting our missionaries and pastors financially, but wouldn’t it be awesome for some people to enter retirement as missionaries? They would be able to write a newsletter that contained an explanation of ministry endeavors and a request for prayer without having to ask for money? By doing so, they would essentially be saying, “We’ve GOT this because we’ve been faithful stewards our whole lives of the blessings God provided, and we don’t have to worry about money anymore.”

Chris’ mantra is, “You work too long, too hard and put up with too many weird people to come to the end of your life and have nothing to show for it.” Isn’t that the truth! So why is it that most people don’t think to plan for retirement and instead act like it’s never coming? Let me let you in on a secret. Retirement is coming. You either view retirement with complete terror or as a glorious achievement. The latter can’t happen without planning and actually doing something about it. That was Chris’ main point. It’s time to start do something about it… no matter age in life.

I’ll end this with one of Chris’ stories. He spent 20 years as a banker. One day, he was in a meeting with a relatively young couple trying to convince them that they needed a financial plan. In short, the young couple basically blew him off. A week later the husband called and asked for an appointment. Chris said to himself, “Why would you want another appointment when you guys blew me off last time?” but he agreed to meet anyway. This couple returned with pens and notepads completely engaged and writing down everything coming out of Chris’ mouth. Obviously Chris noticed the dramatic change and asked the couple what had happened.

The young husband explained that he had received a call that week from his 87-year-old aunt who needed help cutting the grass. He went over to do just that, but the lawnmower broke down and he had forgotten his lunch. He thought to save time, he would go inside and make himself something to eat at the house. When he opened the refrigerator, he found nothing but sour milk. When he opened the cabinets, he found 7 cans of dog food. His aunt, however, did not have a dog. You can fill in the blanks.

When Chris was telling this story he got a little emotional (and so did I). With a crack in his voice he said, “That’s not okay.” Then repeated his mantra, “You work too long, too hard and put up with too many weird people to come at the end of your life and have nothing to show for it.” It’s a truly heartbreaking story. We live in the richest country in the world but have the most broke people. A big reason is simply not having a plan.

After hearing Chris speak, I’ve decided that I’m going to shorten my retirement plan pitch. When young people ask me, “Why should I plan for retirement? I’m young,” instead of going on about the importance of starting early, having self-discipline, the power of compound interest, the dream about being financially independent and even pointing out the obvious like “You won’t be young forever,” I’ll just say, “Do you like dog food?”

SMART Conference Review – Rachel Cruze

This was my first live conference with Dave Ramsey. Since I became an Endorsed Local Provider (ELP), I got in for free. Yes, that’s really nice. I didn’t know what to expect. As it turns out, I ran into several people I knew like, old high school friends, fellow church members, family friends, my dentist, old college buddies, and even my ex-girlfriend (Although I ran and hid from her so I didn’t technically “run into” her.). In the next few blogs, I will be providing a recap of the speakers and the short highlights of their topics.

The first speaker was Rachel Cruze (Dave Ramsey’s daughter) and she spoke about Smart Money Smart Kids, which is basically a book describing how her father impacted her life by raising her to be wise with her money. It was great to hear directly from her perspective and how being responsible with money, sacrificing, and delaying immediate gratification were essential parts of shaping her character. She quoted Proverbs 13:22, “A good man leaves an inheritance to his children’s children.” An inheritance isn’t always money. It’s often a legacy.

The impact her father had on her life was inspiring. I looked at it as an opportunity to do the same with my girls. It excites me to be their father and fills me with a sense of purpose to impact my girls in the same way.

Highlights:

• Teach the value of work and spending wisely.

Apparently, when kids learn that money comes from work instead of their parent’s back pocket they tend to treat money differently. What? You mean mom and dad won’t be around forever?!

• Teach your kids that they can go to college with no debt.

I’m not sure how many people in the crowd had student loans, but I’m guessing at least a couple of people said, “Now they tell me.” So what you’re saying is that going $90,000 in debt for a bachelor’s in Art History isn’t a good idea?

• Giving is the antidote for selfishness.

It’s in our nature to be selfish. In order to fight selfish tendencies, you have to train yourself to do the opposite. We know that if we want to get in shape it will require some exercising and dieting. Well, the same is true for becoming a generous person. It requires giving.

Barnes & Bargains

Disclaimer: My editor (aka. my wife) decided to insert some of her thoughts into this one. That's the price you pay the editor sometimes, I guess.

When it comes to reading books, I don’t like to spend money on ones I know I won’t keep or read again. There’s a book I needed to read for my finance business. I knew I didn’t want to actually pay for it, so I had this bright idea to visit the local Barnes & Noble and simply read the book there. It would save me a whole $13.00.

(Katie: And let’s be honest… be a good excuse to get out of the house and out of childcare for a few hours. I’m going to start “saving money” this way, too!)

This past weekend, I went to the closest store and started reading the book. It was 300 pages, so I knew it might take a few trips. (Katie: I have a 600 page book in mind that I intend to read…twice.) Once I found the book, I tried to find a comfortable place to sit. There wasn’t one. It’s a good business move on Barnes & Nobles’ part. If the place were too comfortable people would never think, “Maybe I should just buy the book and read it in the comfort of my own home.” (Katie: A place on the floor will be just fine for me!) Reading on the hard chair wasn’t fun, but I was determined to save that $13.00. (Katie: I’ll take the hard chair any day if it means getting an hour or more of uninterrupted reading time!)

After a couple of chapters, the music came on. I was sitting directly underneath the speaker and couldn’t hear myself read the book. (Katie: You should try it when the baby starts to cry…) I got up to move away from the speaker, but when I started moving around, I noticed there were speakers everywhere where there was a seat. (Katie: It’s kind of like a two year old that can follow you anywhere.) Maybe it was their way of saying, “Hurry up and buy the book we marked up at 200%!” I decided I would sit on the floor. It would be like high school all over again except I didn’t any read books in high school. A few minutes later, a store manager told me I wasn’t allowed to sit on the floor because of store policy. I guess that’s fine. You wouldn’t want a bunch of people lying around making your place a business look like someone’s living room.

I got up again and went back to my hard chair right underneath the speaker because, really, that was the best spot. Not two minutes later there was a gentlemen wondering through the aisles murmuring to himself while thumbing through books. This guy picked up a “Sex Book” and kept murmuring to himself. Initially I thought he was just a pervert, but then he kept perusing through the books and stopped again on Chinese Cuisine. (Katie: Perusing through books? People still have time for this in the real world?) Okay maybe he’s not a pervert but just some guy that likes to spend his time going through books at a bookstore. (Katie: Probably another dad trying to “save money.”)

Whatever.

I tried to ignore him and keep reading but then he sat down right next to me and kept murmuring to himself while flipping through his Chinese Cuisine book. Then it hit me, “I’m going through all this to save $13.00!” I gave up and just bought the book off of Amazon. I’ll get to read the book in the comforts of my own home. (Katie: Great! While you are reading at home, I will head off to Barnes and Noble… ) Trying to be frugal is one thing, but sometimes it’s okay to actually buy something when the benefits outweigh the cost. And in this case, $13.00 clearly outweighed the cost. Let's see if I'm still saying this when the book arrives and there are screaming kids in the house.