My weekend warrior routine usually consists of me playing basketball Saturday mornings, coming home and bragging to my wife about how well I played, and working out on Sundays after church to make sure I can still play basketball well enough to brag about it to my wife.
However, this particular Saturday morning was different. I used to think girls who got frustrated when men didn’t know what they were thinking were weird. I mean, how are we supposed to know what girls are thinking? We don’t expect them to know what we’re thinking (although, admittedly, guys usually think about nothing anyway). Girls refer to this expectation of theirs as, “Picking up the signs.” I wish that instead of applying some type of electroencephalography and hoping our neurons reach a comprehensive understanding of all forms of non-verbal communication, girls would just go ahead and tell us what they want.
Ha!
That’s just naïveté on my part. Older husbands know that’s never happening. You have to “pick up the signs” or else... Communicating in plain English just makes too much sense. But that’s another story for another day. I admit I’m getting better at “picking up the signs” from my wife. This particular weekend for example, I was headed out for my morning basketball routine and noticed she seemed stressed out and the kids were crying. I had my bag in hand and was ready to go. She would’ve been the “good wife” and been fine with it. But in clear conscience, I couldn’t just leave her in that state.
So I asked her if there was anything I could do to help. In short, I stayed and watched the kids so she could clean the house a bit more easily. We made plans to go to the local water park, Splash, later in the day. It just made sense to skip basketball that morning, help my wife, and hang out with my family.
Back when I was single, I remember dreading this exact situation. I would have to “give up my freedom” in order to attend to “family duties.” Strangely, I didn’t really mind missing out on some basketball. They’ll be other days to play. I was happy to help my wife and be with my baby girls. Who would’ve thunk?
After cleaning up the house, we got the kids ready for Splash. It would be my first time there, so I was looking forward to it. My oldest daughter loves the water. When we got to Splash, she wanted to go everywhere, but only if I was in arm’s reach of her. She was confident when daddy was around. She knows daddy will protect her, watch over her, and take her to places she can't go on her own. Her recognition of daddy's role gives her confidence to venture out and experience life.
I realized it’s a great stage in life. We must’ve gone down the slide about hundred times, and she never got tired of it. I loved every minute of it. I’ll never forget this particular day with my daughter and the chance to simply have a fun day with her as her daddy. In all of it, I realized that she’s starting to recognize me as a distinct person. Her Mom and I work together as a team, but she also knows that there are things that she can do with just Daddy (including our nighttime routine of “flying” up to the ceiling after Mom gives her a kiss).
Interestingly, she probably won’t remember this day. Initially this may seem sad. But it’s the accumulative moments gathered together over a long period of time that builds the relationship between a father and his child. It’s a double blessing in that you enjoy the moment as well as build towards a better relational future.
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