The New Mother’s Day

When I was up in Spokane at my brother-in-law’s wedding a couple of weeks ago, I tried to get over the fact that I wasn’t in LA and actually enjoy myself and the company of friends and family. It mildly worked. The wedding ceremony was at a nice venue and the reception was at the same place. I always enjoy it when the ceremony and reception are at the same place because we don’t have to drive anywhere else. After the ceremony, as the natural progression of the night continued, there was the son and mother dance. I had front row seating for this and was happy for my brother-in-law and mother-in-law. At that same moment, there was a hint of sadness tugging at my heart realizing my mom wasn’t here, and that I never had a chance to dance with her at my wedding.

This weekend is Mother’s day. It’s not lost on me that my mother is no longer here but home with the Lord Jesus. There’s no other place where I would have her be, although I often wish I had one more day with her just to introduce her to my family.

This Mother’s day is also a little different for me,though. My beautiful wife is a mother and it’s not lost on me that I don’t have a gift for her. It felt like 20 minutes ago that I bought her an anniversary gift . Crap! Now I’m in yet another mad scramble. My co-workers are already telling me, “It’s her first Mother’s Day. You better make it special!” No pressure. I’m sure I’ll think of something. I usually do, but not until I hit 9.5 on the Stressed Out scale.

(Wait a second. Let me just send a mass text to some friends asking for ideas. Hold on . . . okay . . . send. Right you still here?)

Reflecting back on my wife’s first year of motherhood, I appreciate her more than ever. Furthermore, I appreciate all good mothers around the world, and especially my own mother and all the things she did for me of which I never took notice. I’ve always found it interesting that the love for my mom has grown throughout the years since her absence. How do you love someone more without them being here? I call it “Retro-Understanding.” This simply means that as you get older, you understand the things people were trying to teach you when you didn’t initially understand the lesson because you were too immature, too dumb, or you were just a complete jack@$$ (or some combination of all three). The most common people giving out good lessons to un-teachable people who only later on “get the lesson” are schoolteachers, coaches, and of course parents. My Retro-Understanding of my mother’s love for me grows as my “jack@$$-ery” lessens. That’s how it’s possible for me to love my mother more even though she’s not here.

But with this new twist on Mother’s Day- namely, my wife now being a mother- I get to focus on enjoying loving my wife in a different manner. There’s an extra day out of the year I get to show my appreciation towards her in her new role that’s not at all easy and often requires being selfless and sacrificial. I guess that’s worth being a little lighter in the wallet and getting stressed out at the last minute (again).

Joelle's First Flight Part 2 of 2

For Part 1 click here.

The flight from LA to SF is about an hour (at most) but the boarding process took about, well, an hour. To further aggravate the situation, once everything was squared away and everyone was ready to take off the captain came on the PA and said, “There will be a slight delay.” Now there are several words that ran through my mind that my wife wouldn’t let me write down here but I’m sure you can figure out that they were of the 4-letter variety. This whole time Joelle was doing okay but the delay was eating into “The baby is okay” time. We knew it was only a matter of time before the inevitable happened. The captain went on to try and explain the reason for the delay, but once the word “delay” came out of the speaker, I really didn’t care what the reason was. The airline had promised us a time when the plane would take off and when it would arrive at the desired destination. We had done our part… We arrived at the airport on time and got through the necessary security checks then waited patiently at the gate only to have the airline screw up somehow and delay the flight. I understand there are several variables that come into play, but if airlines were required to refund a prorated rate to people whose flights were delayed my guess is that airlines would all of a sudden run more efficiently.

Anyway, once we FINALLY took off for most of the flight Joelle stayed content and didn’t bother anyone. Yes, I was looking at her like a proud father. Then it was time to descend for the landing. As you know, once the plane starts to descend your ears start popping and aching because of the drop in pressure. For a nine-month old who has never experienced something like this, it can be nerve wracking. Sure enough, my daughter started dropping baby F-bombs with the intensity of a heavy metal rock band. This went on for the entire descent. It definitely was another “Welcome to Parenthood!” moment. Once we landed and Joelle’s equilibrium began to stabilize, she started calming down. That was a rough first flight with my daughter.

During the flights home, however, my baby slept the whole way and was a sweet little angel. I guess she just needed to get over the initial shock of the first flight. Let's hope she won't need drugs in order to get on a plane like her mother-in-law.

Joelle’s First Flight Part 1 of 2

Last week I had the honor and privilege of being a groomsmen in my brother-in-law’s wedding. The only problem was the wedding was happening in Spokane, Washington. I had known this for several months now but I was praying (and hoping) my brother-in-law (Jon) would post-pone the wedding for another few years so my daughter would be a little older than, you know, nine months. It didn’t matter what the reason was for postponing the wedding as long as it was postponed. Naturally the wedding was not postponed so my wife and I had to fly to Spokane with a nine-month-old child – fun times ahead!

I remember when I was single traveling at the airport. I would look at crying children with complete annoyance hoping I wouldn’t get stuck with a seat close to them to hear their crying. Traveling was also fairly stress-free. I didn’t have to worry about a child. Those days feel like a long time ago. Once my wife and I got to the airport, I was immediately stressed out because I kept waiting for our child to blow up. Getting through airport security is stressful enough but try doing that with a crying nine-month old… I felt the single people looking at us with the same annoyance I use to. Welcome to parenthood!

The first flight was to San Francisco, which then would connect us to a flight to Spokane. We boarded the plane, buckled up, and prayed Joelle would handle her first flight okay. If you’ve ever traveled by plane you know the boarding process is always an adventure. There’s always those few people who try and stuff their clearly too big carryon in the overhead compartment and hold up the line (I think my sister-in-law happens to be one of them! ☺). Some of those people even ask for help, “Excuse me, could you help me stuff my over-sized carryon that’s way too big to fit into this overhead compartment? If we keep pushing I’m sure it’ll eventually go in.” Look, I understand that after airlines started charging for extra bags that people started doing this in order to save money. I get it. People are just trying to save money, so I’m not too annoyed by that. I’m just annoyed by the airlines that created this problem.

We can’t forget those people who simply refuse to turn off their electronic devices out of pure defiance. Everyone knows the chance of our device actually affecting the plane’s electronic equipment is rather low. But since there is a slight possibility, the airlines don’t want to take that chance. I get it. So when I see people trying to hide their devices only to be reminded again by the airline staff they need to turn it off, it’s frustrating. You mean you’re holding up the plane because you can’t turn off your device for 20 minutes?

Part 2 will be posted tomorrow.