The Jammer - This Means War

Welcome to the Tuesday morning edition of The Jammer, which I share thoughts on things that matter to me. Movies are on my mind today, actually, a particular movie. Since Valentine is around the corner you know Hollywood would attempt to cash in on the holiday. A couple of years ago New Line Cinema produced Valentine’s Day the movie, which had several big name actors/actresses. The critics hated it because it was completely void of substance and there were too many mini-storylines to follow that lead to the film being convoluted. It immediately felt like “Throw out as many names as possible and hope it sticks” type of movie. Needless to say, I didn’t watch it.

This year 20th Century Fox is attempting to cash in with the movie This Means War. When I heard Chris Pine and Tom Hardy were playing “Two of the world's deadliest CIA operatives who are inseparable partners and best friends” I was immediately hooked. Pine and Hardy are two young raising stars who have shown a decent amount of range from their previous roles. I’ve been waiting for them to take some more action roles. But then I read the next sentence – “until they discover that they've fallen in love with the same woman” with Reese Witherspoon (Lauren) thrown in the middle. Talk about getting your emotions jerked around! It went from actually being extremely excited for a movie for once to “What a waste of good talent and an idiotic premise.”

I get Hollywood’s reasoning. It’s Valentine’s Day and we need a Rom-Com with some eye-candy for both genders. Men will feel obligated to take their women on a date/movie so we’ll throw in some high-tech gadgetry, highly skilled fighting, and some explosions to make it appealing for the guys as well.

Here’s the problem. If two guys are “best friends” but yet are willing to kill each other at a drop of a hat over a girl they hardly know how good was that friendship to begin with? You might be saying, “You’re thinking way too hard. It’s only a movie.” You might be right. But my annoyance is Hollywood portraying fickle friendships as “entertainment.” Gone are the days of Frodo and Sam type of bonds that inspire you to deeper relationships.

Would it have been difficult to tweak the premise slightly? Let’s say Pine and Hardy’s characters were still best friends and top CIA agents you kick @$$. Pine is engaged to Witherspoon’s character and they are to marry with Hardy’s character being Pine’s best man because, you know, they’re “best friends.” But terrorist for whatever reason kidnaps Witherspoon and Pine sets out to save her with the help of Hardy because, you know, they’re “best friends.” While Pine and Hardy set out to save Witherspoon they uncover several terrorist plots and are forced to intervene. Pine has a deep sense of obligation to protect the people of the United States against these attacks over attempting to rescue his girl. Hardy realizes this about Pine and instead attempts to rescue Witherspoon for Pine because, you know, they’re “best friends.”

In short, Pine saves the United States from a terrorist plot while Hardy saves Witherspoon for his buddy but not without sacrificing his own life in the process. Hardy dies in Witherspoon’s arms and tells her with his last breath, “He’ll have to pick a new best man.” Witherspoon response by saying, “You’ll always be his best man” while sopping over his body. Fast forward several years with Pine and Witherspoon visiting Hardy’s grave with their son named after Hardy’s character. Witherspoon picking up their son and gives Pine a moment alone at Hardy’s grave. He gives a sentimental speech to Hardy about him always being his “best man” even though he was unable to be at the wedding. The End.

Now instead of having “Romance” and “Friendship” at odds with one another you actually have them both displayed in honorable ways and working together. Who’s NOT watching that movie? Instead, we’ll get two “best friends” beating each other to death over a girl they hardly know. Sweet! Because nothing beats shallow relationships, then again, I might just be thinking too hard.

Here's the trailer: