The Return to The Motherland

It’s official. I’m taking my wife to The Motherland – Thailand, in order to see my people. I honestly thought about when this would happen ever since we got married. There’s this sense of obligation to take her there in order for her to see a special side of me. Yes, looking at the price of airline tickets made me want to vomit but when else were we going to go? We plan on “starting a family” this time next year (I hate that phrase. Why does it only become “a family” when you have kids? Why can’t it just be my wife and I and the dogs? I mean besides the fact that I hate the dogs.). So we needed to do this now before the kids come and ruin our lives.

Furthermore, I know if my mom were still alive she would’ve FORCED me to take her to The Motherland and tell me how much of a tightwad I am and to quit complaining about the price. My mom would’ve come along and “shown her the town” and displayed her passion to see her people hear the Gospel of Jesus Christ. It was truly a beautiful thing to watch. She would share the gospel with whomever she came into contact with. You simply wondered, with deep conviction, why you didn’t have the same passion. She also would’ve made some phone calls and made me preach at about twenty different Christian churches. I would then be thinking, “I didn’t know there were twenty different Christian churches in Thailand.” She would’ve also taken us to restaurants that no GPS could even find and she would probably know the owner as well. I’m missing my mom as I’m writing this.

Truthfully, this trip makes me a little nervous because my mom isn’t here. She was the one who planned the trips and set the itinerary. Even during my mission trip with Tim Dinkins in the summer of 2005 (the last time I was there), he was the one who set the itinerary. Like my wedding, my wife does the planning and I just show up. It can’t work that way this time because she’s never been to The Motherland. The responsibility falls on me to make sure this trip is productive and fun for my wife. This goes against my philosophy to avoid responsibility at all cost but I realize that this trip should be an experience that my wife will forever remember as 1) a trip to meet part of her new family on her husband’s side 2) experiencing fun and exciting new things 3) and seeing a side of her husband that she would never get to see otherwise. Daunting, but I think I’m up for it (maybe).

Having family in Thailand is great. I talk about my uncles quite a bit. One happens to have several business ventures. One day, I’m just going to spend an entire summer there and ask him to teach me how to make money. I call him, “Uncle Fat Cat.” He speaks Chinese, French, and Thai (of course) but his English is down right awful. Every time he tries to speak to me in English I just tell him to speak to me in Thai because it’s painful to listen. It’s like he’s having a seizure every time he tries to annunciate something. I have another uncle who’s a big time manager over at Toyota. I call him “Uncle Big Time Toyota” or “UNK-BTT” for short. He’s in charge of all the accounts in most of Asia. Yet, he won’t hook me up with a car. Yes, my uncles have deep pockets but they don’t give handouts. Maybe that’s why they have deep pockets. I have a third uncle in Thailand. He’s a wild card, that’s why I call him “Uncle Wild Card.” The reason that he’s a wild card is because I have no idea what in the world he does and he refuses to tell me. So I make-believe that he’s a manager of an underground fight club. I haven’t even mentioned my aunts and crazy cousins yet. This should be interesting.

My wife has never been to Thailand and has always wanted to go. As I’ve already mentioned, if we don’t go now we’ll probably never end up going. It’s an opportunity for me to show my wife (white-blonde-from-California) the inner workings of the Thai culture. She loves experiencing new and exciting things and I think a trip like this qualifies. I want to give her memories that she’ll cherish forever, memories she could look back on before the kids come and ruin our lives. She gets excited with the thought of visiting The Floating Market, riding Elephants in the wilderness, seeing exotic beaches and rafting down wild rivers, all of which is yawn-city for me because I’ve done those things a thousand times (Well, I don’t get tired of exotic beaches but still.). Most people at this point say, “How could you EVER get tired of doing things like that?” My response is, “It’s the equivalent of people in Orange County who get tired of Disneyland.” People who don’t live in or around the OC get excited about the thought of going to Disneyland. Although I don’t live in Bangkok, it’s the same thing with riding Elephants and visiting The Floating Market. Furthermore, I remember watching a Thai-horror movie as a kid with a giant alligator attacking and eating people at The Floating Market. It scared me from ever wanting to go to The Floating Market the same way Jaws scared me from ever wanting to swim in the ocean. It was so bad I didn’t want to even swim in swimming pools. I know I have issues but lets move on.

I never really look at myself and notice that I’m Thai. I just think I’m “me” plain and simple. However, there is something about our heritage that informs us about a little of who we are. I don’t agree with the idea that we need to find our complete identity in our ethos, but I also don’t agree we should completely forget about it. God created us with diversity for a reason and I’ve learned to embrace that very unique part of me- although if I had my choice, I would be 6’8 with a Lebron-type of build and talent. Instead, God choose me to be a 5’10 Thai-guy with little to no talent. Whatever. I’m over it (sort of). Maybe my wife leaves this trip knowing the Thai culture a little better and as a result knows me a little better. For an amazing woman such as her who loves me the way she does, that might be worth the whole trip. You know, before the kids come and ruin our lives.