Every couple of months I meet up with my friend Jason Smith at Mike’s burgers to catch up on life. We attend the same church, however, we rarely get to talk on Sunday mornings because we’re too busy chasing our kids around making sure they don’t run into the parking lot or fall down the steep stairs in the entry way. As it turns out, Sunday mornings at church isn’t the best time to connect with people when you have small children.
Therefore, we try and connect over bacon and coffee and get into each other’s lives. A couple of months ago we talked about a variety of topics from the election and the state of the Middle East to our struggles and difficulties being a husband and father. There are certain individuals who I spend time with who build me up, and I always leave encouraged by their fellowship. Jason is one of them. During our time together we tried to figure out a way we can love our wives well.
Then it hit us.
I told him, “You know we are able to hang out right now because our wives are watching our children?” He replied with an uninspiring, “Yep.”
“Do not forsake her, and she will keep you; love her, and she will guard you” (Prov. 4:6).
We then decided to arrange a night where our wives could have a free night to hang out with each other. The husbands coordinate a night where we can stay home with our kids and the women work out what they want to do. We are committed to doing this at least once a month. It has since grown to three or four wives getting together and fellowshipping with one another.
My reasons for wanting to do this are as followed:
1. As Christian men we are commended to love our wives well. This is one way to do it.
2. As a Christian man, I know I need other godly men in my life. This holds true with women as well. My hope would be the ladies in this group would leave encouraged and built up while they talk about their personal struggles. Hopefully they won’t complain about their husbands too much.
3. It fosters community within the body of Christ.
4. It’s not tied into an official ministry. I hope we get out of the mentality that we need some type of churched sanctioned infrastructure in order to love people well. We certainly need programs but I also believe we can be creative while being intentional about thinking outside our normal routines in order to build one another up.
5. I hope this inspires others within my own church (and other churches) to come together and figure out different ways to love one another with wisdom.
In doing this it has given me a deeper appreciation for my wife. While she’s out, and I get three children four years of age and under all screaming at the same time about different things I wonder what I got myself into. But I also wonder “How does my wife do this everyday? How does anyone do this?” I’m sure the other husbands going through the same thing will hate me for getting them into this. But look at this as a long-term investment. When your wife experiences the enrichment of being around other godly women on a consistent basis that’s going to directly impact you in a positive way. Maybe my wife will be more willing to make me a sandwich in the middle of the night when I get hungry. It’s a win-win.
Also, when I see the excitement of the women planning together knowing they’ll get a free night to themselves, it brings delight to my soul that I was able to be a part of facilitating the opportunity. I could only imagine how much it delights the Lord. It’s probably more delightful than a tasty sandwich in the middle of the night.
