Last month was my daughter’s 1st birthday. Yes, the year went by fast. And I keep hearing it only gets faster. There have been hard moments and some lifestyle changes that require a lot of sacrifice, patience, and understanding. None of these attributes are part of my natural disposition, which was one of the reasons for my initial reservations about becoming a parent. However, despite of all the hard moments of being a parent, there is a constant state of awe that one feels when looking at his child.
As Joelle grows, speaks more words, moves around more fluidly, and comprehends the world around her, I am constantly amazed at the growth of my little girl. Most children mature in much the same way, but when you’re the one with direct influence and when it’s your own child, it brings a deeper appreciation for the maturation process. I can’t tell you in mere words the joy it brings me when I hear her laughter, when I see her smile, and the love I feel when she just wants me to hold her. In the same sense, it pains me when she’s in pain or sick. I would gladly take that pain and sickness away from her and place it on myself.
These realizations make me think about Jesus Christ who took the cross in my place. It wasn’t when I was a helpful child trusting in a father who would provide for me that he did this. It was when I was an enemy cursing at Him and shaking my fist in defiance. As I grow in my appreciation for the natural maturation process of my own child, I also am growing in my appreciation for the love of God, “for when we were yet still sinners, Christ died for us.” My prayer and hope as a father is to show Joelle a glimpse of the same grace Christ has imparted to me. I will need the power of the Holy Spirit and Christ’s interceding on my behalf in order to do this. But the Bible has given me those things as promises. I need only believe them to be true and worship with a believing heart.
Happy birthday Joelle! I can’t tell you the joy you bring in my life. I didn’t have a father growing up, and I’m determined to not let that happen with you. I will be here for you as much as the Lord allows. I won’t be perfect in handling every situation, but I will love you in every situation. At times, I will probably be disappointed in some of your decisions, but overall I have no doubt you will become an amazing woman of God. You are my beautiful sunshine, the apple of my eye, and another reason for me to get up in the morning. Those things will never waver, and it’s only a glimpse of your heavenly Father’s love for you. I love you sweetheart. Happy 1st birthday.
PS – I still say I’m kicking you out of the house when you turn eighteen. (Mom’s in your corner, though, so this may be a losing battle.)
