36 & Counting

I should be doing my homework but instead I’m going to write a birthday blog (some people never change). This is what I wrote last year There have been momentous occasions since last year. I’ve decided to start a second career, we are expecting our first child and in the past few months I’ve lost a couple of old Bible college friends who were about the same age as I am. It’s been nuts to say the least.

There’s something I’ve noticed about myself as I get older. I really don’t worry about much anymore. Maybe by God’s grace, I haven’t been put into a situation where I need to worry a whole lot lately, which I’m extremely grateful for. Sure I still worry about the Laker’s title chances every year, but that’s the only thing I’ve consistently worried about. I haven’t signed my contract to return to teaching yet, but I’m not worried about it. I believe the contract will be provided from somewhere (I just found out I won't be returning to the same school. Bummer.). My daughter isn’t born yet, but I’m not sweating the “life altering experience” (more on this in a later blog). I do stress out about homework, but it always gets done. I’m content with life, yet I want to be ambitious and want to do more with myself.

Furthermore, I’ve learned to appreciate things a lot more. If losing a couple of friends to massive heart attacks doesn’t sober you up, I don’t know what will. For example, the other day my wife and I bought some flowers to plant in the front yard. We spent the better part of the day driving to the store, picking out the flowers (aka the cheapest ones), and digging up dirt to place them in. As you know, I don’t like to work, but for some reason it was enjoyable. Maybe it was because my wife and I are building a home together. Maybe I’m realizing more and more that the phrase, “everyday is a gift” is not a cliché but a theological truth and a picture of God’s grace.

(Speaking of “gifts,” my wife and the in-laws pitched in and bought a BBQ for me for my birthday present. We spent tons of money upgrading the backyard, so getting a BBQ to finish it off was essential. I’ll have to wait until next year for them to get me the propane tank so I can actually use it.)

Now please don’t take my lack of anxiety as apathy. Nothing could be further from the truth. I’m more passionate about the Lakers because of their recent acquisition of Steve Nash (and maybe Dwight Howard). Life is about to get more interesting with a child on the way and Chris Nolan’s The Dark Knight Rises opening next week. But most importantly, the Lord always keeps things interesting. The Lord is inexhaustible. You will always learn new things or understand things you already know even better as you pursue intimacy with the Almighty (I think that’s even a title to a book).

Hey! Maybe the arrival of our first child will increase intimacy with the Lord. At least that’s what I keep hearing will happen. I have no doubt my knowledge and relationship with God will gain a deeper understanding when our baby arrives. This should be interesting.

The Apprentice to The Principle

Back when I was a teenager, without much guidance or positive influence of any kind, I felt I had no purpose. When a teenager feels he/she has no purpose it only leads to bad things. Fortunately, I had a couple of buddies (Dom and Bryan – as if you didn’t know) who also lacked purpose in their lives, so we decided to just goof off until we could come up with something better to do.

One night at a Harvest Crusade the gospel was presented to us and our lives have never been the same since. You might be asking, “How did you guys end up at a Harvest Crusade when you were goofing off all that time?” Let me introduce you to Rick Ronquillo (aka Ronqzz). He was the assistant varsity basketball coach at Schurr High School at the time. Rick was also the youth pastor at Calvary Chapel Montebello and invited us to the event. That’s how it all got started.

Even though as young boys we committed our lives to Christ that night, it didn’t mean instantaneous change. HA! Nothing could be further from the truth. Instead, someone had to take on the daunting task of mentoring and teaching us arrogant and unteachable juveniles. Rick was just that man.

I remember the time when Bryan was kicked out of youth group for his constant outbursts of uncontrollable laughter. By mere association, I was also kicked out (that was unfair Rick), but overall, Rick had the patience to deal with us. There were several times when he told me not to do something shortly followed by me completely ignoring him and doing it anyway. Only years later did I realize, “Man, Rick was right about that one!”

There are many things that I appreciate Rick doing for me, but one story stands out in my mind. I was full of anger and Rick noticed. I didn’t take instruction or criticism well. There was an incident when my anger came to a head (I won’t get into the details), so Rick took me to his house and sat me down and just started talking to me. He started talking to me about my anger and rage. Most people just wanted to write me off but Rick wanted to get to the bottom of my anger. He knew it was beyond the situation on the surface. Through prayer, a ton of patience, and probing questions he finally broke through. My stepfather physically abused me for years before my mom finally had the courage to kick him out. That stepfather left a broken and confused boy behind. The light went on for Rick. He knew immediately why I behaved the way I did.

Then he went on to ask more questions, “Are you angry at God for what happened?” I said, “No.” “Are you angry at your stepfather?” he asked. I emphatically replied, “Yes!” “Do you believe that vengeance is the Lord’s and that He will take care of it?” he asked. Softly I said, “Yes.” Finally, Rick said, “Then let it go and allow God to heal you. Because He can’t heal you if you think you’re the one who needs to take vengeance.” So that night, I believe, God began to start healing that part of my life- a part of my life no one cared to enter into with me before that night.

Interestingly, as I mentioned before, I still managed to not listen to Rick a whole lot even after that breakthrough night. Yes, I was a jack@$$ of the highest order. It wasn’t until years later when I arrived at Biola University when God broke me and made me teachable. The professors at Biola took over, investing in my life, as I became a healing young man who was eager to learn. I soaked up that place like a sponge. One of my professors/pastors, Erik Thoennes, officiated my wedding and mentioned during the ceremony the quality he most appreciated about me was my “teachability.” I’m sure Rick got a nice chuckle out of that one.

In a lot of ways, Rick never enjoyed the fruit of his labor. He had to endure watching a young knucklehead making mistake after mistake wondering if he’ll ever “get it.” In reality, he loosened up the hard ground of anger and bitterness in order for peace and kindness to settle in my soul. It took time, lots of time.

Recently, Rick was promoted to being the principle of John Glenn High School in the Norwalk/La Mirada School District. I’ve watched him work hard throughout his life; getting his degree, becoming a teacher, and then getting more degrees in order to become an administrator. It’s a high stress job with little security. It takes a special kind of person to want that kind of responsibility and pressure, but he realizes all the experiences God has allowed him to go through have prepared him for this moment (Now that he's making six-figures maybe I could be his financial planner - shameless plug, I know.). I have no doubt that kicking out Bryan from youth group, dealing with crazy teenagers and their crazier parents, and coaching basketball will help him be successful.

I called him to give him congratulations. He began to tell me about his struggles and fears. He was completely transparent and truthful and didn’t feel the need to keep up pretenses and paint a picture like he’s got everything figured out. At the same time, he was also confident in what God has taught him throughout the years. It has clearly led to this moment and he was looking forward to the next school year.

I’ve made a commitment to pray for him (as long as I could remember anyway). Whatever happens, I hope he remembers he helped at least one young broken and confused boy find his way.