In Loving Memory of Kevin William Lines

In Loving Memory of Kevin William Lines
January 4, 1974 – May 23, 2012

It was an emotional weekend. On the same day my wife had her baby shower, I attended the memorial service of my friend Kevin Lines. As at most memorial services I’ve attended, my emotions were up and down. When I walked up to the doors of the church and was handed the flyer with the order of service, just seeing a picture of Kevin with the words “In Loving Memory” nearly caused me to break down on the spot. I had to go to the bathroom to gather myself.

In the week leading up to the memorial service, I told my wife about Kevin and what he was like. That also led me to start talking about the people we hung out with. One of the names that popped up was Sean Lowry (he’s one of my favorite people ever). When I went to the bathroom at the memorial service, guess who was there? That’s right. Sean. We talked for a while and decided to sit next to each other. He told me he had heard the news about Kevin from Dave (another mutual friend). Dave had texted him, “Call me, it’s about Kevin.” Sean immediately thought, “Kevin was in an accident” and was ready to take the next flight out of Seattle. When Sean called Dave, he broke the news to Sean that Kevin was already gone due to a heart attack. The news spread quickly. We were all shocked and immediately started praying for his family.

I met Kevin at Calvary Chapel Bible College. I’ve previously written about the host of issues I had during that time in my life. Kevin and I were similar in a lot of ways. Neither of us had ever studied or cared for learning much of anything… that is until the Lord captured our hearts and transformed apathy and indifference into empathy and passion. When we reconnected years after CCBC, I told him I graduated from Talbot School of Theology. Kevin, too, had become passionate about academics and was in the process of obtaining a PhD in philosophy of religion and theology from Claremont School of Religion. We picked up where we left off and started talking about what we were learning theologically and how it enhanced our understanding of who God was.

More than the academics, though, I remember Kevin being one of the most supportive individuals I’ve ever come across. Again, my time at CCBC was a struggle. I didn’t know who I was or what I wanted in life. I would often lash out in immaturity as a result. I thought I was ready for responsibilities but when given the opportunity, I failed miserably. Kevin was nearly always there to encourage me often showing empathy, love, and compassion towards me. He wasn’t detached from people because he was studying heady things. He was grounded and cared for people. He never really liked big crowds but if you were to sit with him in a small group, his joy for life and compassion for people clearly showed.

After his memorial service there was a reception. It was good catching up time with other friends from CCBC that I haven’t seen in years. We shared stories about Kevin and wondered what he would be thinking about all this since he never liked big crowds. Seeing everyone else made me appreciate my time at CCBC even more.

I don’t know why the Lord took Kevin home. I don’t know why his lovely wife, Grace, is now a widow. I don’t know why his son Mason, who is 8 months old, will grow up without his father. I don’t have answers. Interestingly, my church just finished preaching through the book of Job. Job had a lot of questions as well, but in the end, he was completely content knowing God is both just and good. Job was okay with not knowing what was really going on behind the scenes of his personal suffering. Maybe we should be too.

I know Mason will grow up with wonderful stories about his father. Kevin will be his hero even though he’s no longer here. If there was something I could tell Mason when he’s older it would be this:

Mason,

I met your dad at Bible College and believe it or not, he didn’t like children back then. But when you were born something drastically changed him. He didn’t think he was ready for fatherhood but when he was given the opportunity he clearly took ownership of it. He had his diaper bag, a few toys, and other assorted things children needed when he took you places. He loved spending time with you. He loved being your father. If you knew your dad when I met him, you probably couldn’t picture him carrying a diaper bag. He loved learning and he loved people but most of all he loved the Lord Jesus. Your father supported me through a rough time in my life. It was during a time when I struggled to find a clear path in life and your dad was one of the guys God used to help give me direction. Even though he’s not here, my prayer for you would be that his memory and example would be a guiding light to you, that the many people who loved your father dearly would keep his memory alive in you, and that you would become an even greater man than he was because that’s what he would’ve wanted. He loved you Mason. If you ever feel the temptation with bitterness towards God for taking him from you, just remember your father lived for your Heavenly Father. Jesus was his passion. Jesus was the one who changed his life, and Jesus is now the one preserving his life for eternity. You will meet your father someday and he will be waiting for you with your Heavenly Father. You will have all of eternity to ask him all the questions you may have in your heart now. I pray that you love the God your father served so well.

Tomorrow is promised to no one. I think many people wish they could have had a last conservation with loved ones they may have lost. If I could tell Kevin a few things it would be this:

Kevin,

First, I can’t believe you’re gone. It just feels too soon. Second, I can’t believe you’re in the presence of Jesus. That must be absolutely awesome. Finally, I just wanted to thank you for being one of the most supportive people I’ve ever come across in my life. I’ll never forget the compassion and empathy you showed me during our time together at CCBC. Your hunger for learning was infectious and the Holy Spirit supernaturally gave you a love of people. I remember almost every hug you gave me. It didn’t matter if I was spilling my guts, angry about losing my girlfriend, or stealing Josh’s food. You gave me the same hug every time. When we meet again in the presence of our Heavenly Father, I expect that very same hug. I know you never finished your PhD, but you know God better now than any scholar could hope to this side of heaven. So, I say “Congrats!” to you. Thank you for the hope that men who once didn’t like children could turn out to be great dads. I’ll never forget you and the person you helped me to be. I love you bro, and I will miss you dearly.

Your brother in Christ,

Junior Jamreonvit

Reflections On The CCBC Days

Due to the unfortunate and recent passing of our good friend Kevin Lines, who I met at Calvary Chapel Bible College, other friends from Bible college started reconnecting over Facebook and sharing old photos and warm memories of our time together.

(Note: I will write about Kevin Lines and my friendship with him after his memorial service. I still can’t believe he’s gone.)

Every time I think about CCBC I have a mixed bag of emotions. I’ve had some of the most fun and meaningful times there. I also had some of my greatest failures there. But instead of talking about “only the good times” I’ve come to realize that both failures and triumphs nearly always contribute to a person’s maturation and a Christian’s sanctification. So despite my shortcomings, I fondly look back at that time. Here are the reasons why:

Laughter

I can say with absolute certainty that I have not laughed as often or as hard as I did at my time at CCBC. If laughter is truly medicine to the soul then my soul nearly OD(ed). And yes, I still laugh often and hard. Okay, I will acknowledge that most of the laughter was juvenile but still, it was great. There’s a difference between Christian juvenile activity and secular juvenile activity, and I’ve been a part of both. For example, secular juvenile activity would include (but is not limited to) egging someone’s house. A Christian, however, would say, “Wait, we don’t want to destroy property, let’s just toilet paper it instead.” There’s a difference.

When my buddy Bryan and I arrived at CCBC, barely graduated from high school and never really having any real responsibilities, we didn’t know what to except. We just noticed there were a lot of white people. The first day of arriving at our dorm we met 6’9 130lbs Joshua Grooms. Everyone started to unpack. I had to get something from the car and when I got back Josh and Bryan were spilling their guts to each other like Steel Magnolias. Josh knew as much about Bryan as I did in a matter of 15 minutes. We decided to jump him in our gang (figuratively speaking). Over the next two years we would laugh, cry and steal Josh’s food at every opportunity we had.

Later we formed close bonds with Joey Bell, Andre Garces, and Jeremy Camp (when he was a nobody). A semester after that it would be Sean, Moxi, Andy, Andrew, Brandon, Jeanine, Vanessa, Jennifer, Shannon, Jeanette, Jason, Nick, Dave, Sammie, and yes, Kevin Lines. They were some of the most amazing people I’ve ever met. It would take too long for me to explain all of their uniqueness and how each one of them loves the Lord and the impact they had on my life. So I’ll give you only the cliff notes.

No matter how busy things got everyone had lunch together and when one of us was missing, we would notice. "Hey, where's 'so-and-so'?" During that hour of lunch everyday I couldn’t remember a more diversified group of people laughing so much with one another (and at one another). It was such a joyous time and the first time I felt a part of a family. And yes, Bryan and I kept trying to steal Josh’s food.

Worship

I don’t remember a sweeter time of worship. Even after earning two master’s degrees in bible and seeing how theologically incorrect and anthropocentric some of those songs were, they still had a positive impact on my life. Not so much because of their incorrectness but despite it. The main reason was because of the people I was worshiping with. Everyone sang and it all felt sincere. I don’t know if you’ve been in a worship service when no one is singing but lemma tell ya, it stinks. It’s like being at a ball game and no one is cheering but you, and you’re the one that looks like a lunatic. “It’s a freakin’ ball game, you’re supposed to be loud!”

I tend to analyze things to death reflecting on reflections of reflections. I feel like I’m in a house of mirrors with so much reflecting going on. It is possible, though, to over analyze things in the name of balancing the heart and mind in worship. I miss that time when I simply stop analyzing stuff, let my words be few, and allow my heart to weep because I am touched by the love of God. Every morning we had devotions, which consisted of 15 minutes of worship and another 15 minutes where someone from the student body opened up God’s word and read from it. I was in my young arrogant, “I could do things better if I were running the show” stage in my life and those 15 minutes of worship every morning slowly chipped away at my hardness of heart. Every morning, without fail, I knew the Lord loved me. It was humbling. Is there a better way to start the day? I say no.

It helped having Jeanine, Jennifer, and Vanessa singing. They had angelic voices and hearts of gold, which managed to stay uncorrupted dispute their constant contact with Bryan and I. Truthfully, I don't know why they were our friends. If I were them I wouldn't have been. It was probably because they loved Jesus and even Jesus hung out with jack@$$es.

Fellowship

As I already mentioned, it was the first time I remember feeling like a part of a family. The guys and I had prayer meetings every other night (usually for secular rock bands to become Christians so we could start listening to them again) we said hard things to each other when we needed to, and all us of wanted to become more like Jesus. Yes, we were an immature bunch of young guys. But we were a bunch of young guys pulling for each other (when we weren’t trying to steal Josh’s food).

As part of this fellowship at CCBC, I watched a group of wonderful young ladies grow to be confident, selfless, and God fearing women. Most of them are now amazing wives to decent men and even better mothers to lovely children building a house that serves the Lord, a foundation which every society needs in order to thrive. None of us were perfect but we all knew it and we loved each other anyway. Isn’t that what a community of believers is supposed to do? I say yes.

Personal Failure

There are some advantages, although not many, from growing up in a broken home without any Christian influence. One of those advantages is never feeling obligated to appear to have it “all together.” I struggled and thrived during my time at CCBC. I failed at so many levels and at one point thought my life wouldn’t ever be the same. I wasn’t always a good friend to people. I wasn’t always patient or kind. I was selfish and egocentric. I was upset when I didn’t get my way. I felt like I knew everything and that no one had anything to teach me. I thought of myself highly and then God in His mercy brought me to my knees.

It was all a road test. It was a loosening up of the hard ground. I needed a little extra time to mature. I mean, I had Bryan as a friend. Who wouldn’t need extra time? A couple of years after CCBC I started attending Biola University. There were a lot of similarities but plenty of differences. I don’t think I would’ve cherished my time at Biola quite as much without my experiences at CCBC. My friendships were rooted in meaningful things. There was less time for juvenile behavior (although there was still plenty of it) and a deeper sense of responsibility towards my academics. Chapel was actually enjoyable for me. Most of my groomsmen were guys from Biola, and there was plenty of food so I didn’t have to steal it from a guy like Josh.

All of these things were a direct result of having spent time at CCBC, having spent time with the people at CCBC. This, it appears, was God’s plan all along. It was a place where God gave me the grace and room to fail in order to succeed later on. I’ve certainly failed in other ways since that time but unlike the initial failures I had, I know there’s redemption at the end and there’s a purpose and a plan from the God who is both sovereign and good.

I’ll never forget my time at CCBC. There were so many wonderful people, amazing friendships, tears of pain and joy shared, confessions to one another, rejoicing with one another, grieving with one another, being wronged and forgiving, having wronged and asking for forgiveness, being kicked out, being let back in, beating up Josh, getting beat down by everyone else, sobbing over God’s goodness, laughing until it hurts and then laughing some more, eating like there’s no tomorrow and then eating Josh’s food, praying deeply into the night, worshiping in the early morning and then missing breakfast because you were too late and the café closed, reading, learning, getting your heart ripped out, learning some more, and now wondering, “Where has the time gone?” That sounds a lot like life.