I didn’t do an Anniversary blog this year because Katie’s grandpa passed away (Grandpa Howie is home with Jesus!) and her cousin Josh had a wedding during the same weekend. Josh’s reasoning for having his wedding during our anniversary weekend was, “When you write your anniversary blog describing how you’re desperately scrambling for a gift, I’ll remember I need to do the same.” Well Josh, thanks for the vote of confidence. My hope is to eventually put more than twenty minutes of thought into a gift (no promises).
In order to make up for the lack of an Anniversary blog I thought I would write an early Valentine’s Day one. As our two little angels grow up, I’m convinced my wife was built to be a mother. Being a good mother has a cost, however. You don’t have as much time (if any) to go to the gym anymore, you’re constantly sick because the babies are constantly sick, and when you’re sick, you don’t get a “sick day” because you still have responsibilities to your family at home.
As a man, you can easily take your wife for granted. When I wake up in the morning, my wife has a warm breakfast waiting for me. This past week, she’s had a high fever and you know what? In the morning there was still a warm breakfast waiting for me, the kids are still fed, washed, and dressed. She continues to work tirelessly when she’s tired. I have nowhere near the character or the drive to work that selflessly without complaining every step of the way.
A woman in her position could see single girls posting where they are partying and having a good time on their instagram page or women posting their workouts and putting hash tags of how determined or hardworking they are. I don’t mean to trash those people. The single life is a wonderful time, which I certainly enjoyed. Fitness is an important part of my life as well. I’m just saying a woman in my wife’s position (and there are many of them) may feel under-appreciated and unsexy. What woman wouldn't when society diminishes the role of "mother" and "home-maker" like it's something "uninspiring?" No one posts a photo of themselves cleaning the bathrooms while covered in baby vomit. But what does that say about a woman's character when she does it to the best of her god-given ability with love for her family without social visibility, peer recognition, or putting some catchy hash tag at the end of it?
Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. - Proverbs 31:30
This is where Valentine’s Day comes in. The gift I decide to purchase for her is almost irrelevant. Because I'll probably end up desperately scrambling for one last minute anyway (don't laugh, you'll be doing the same thing). What absolutely needs to happen is to affirm my wife in her physical attraction, godly service to her family, tireless work ethic, and show her a deep appreciation for all her noble qualities, which will reap eternal benefits for God’s kingdom. Yes, she would enjoy the typical flowers and a card. But she would also appreciate me verbalizing everything I just mentioned. And by verbalizing those things I hope to make her feel like I value her character and the posture of her soul towards God, which is a beauty that will never fade, more than all the superficial things this world puts a premium on.
In short, show your wife how much you appreciate her by actually saying something affectionate and offering some help around the house. It’ll be worth the investment. Remember, being the man of the house you may be "king" but she's your crown. And a king looks ridiculous without a crown.
Happy Valentine’s Day.
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