Con“friend” tation - part I of II

As a kid who grew up in the streets of East Los Angeles, I know a thing or two about gangs. I was never involved in gangs because it never made any sense to me. I would ask gangsters “Why are you in a gang?” They would reply with their chin held high, “For back up, ese!” Did it ever occur to them that they wouldn’t need “back up” if they weren’t in a gang? Whatever.

I will never condone anything that involves gang activity. However, there is something about the gang sub-culture that has the idea of “brotherhood” right, even though it’s twisted beyond measure. It’s the idea that you have to look out for one another and do hard things to protect each other, like getting into a fight. Again, I will never condone needless and reckless violence especially for pointless and petty reasons. But there is a sense of “togetherness” from gangs that I want to call your attention to.

The “togetherness” that gangs have stem from a sense of belonging to something bigger than themselves and a cause that gives them purpose, even though that cause is twisted. As Christian brothers, we are called to the highest cause, namely living for the glory of God. A way we live to honor the Lord is to have a sense of “togetherness” and that means having each other’s “back.” Instead of picking fights for stupid reasons we are fighting a spiritual war. Instead of weapons of carnality we have the “armor of God.” We not only fight for our own sanctification but also for the sanctification of our brothers, our “gang.”

One of the ways we fight for each other’s sanctification is not by picking fights with other gangs but by confronting each other. Meaning, when we see a brother doing something wrong, ungodly, or offensive, we are mandated to confront and speak the truth in love (Eph. 4:15). This is a form of love that is difficult to do. However, just because confrontation is difficult doesn’t mean that it should be avoided. It would be like letting a member of your “gang” get a beat down without doing anything about it. If a gang finds out that a member didn’t help protect another member that member would either get kicked out of the gang, beat up, or worse.

Now the church of Jesus Christ does not function in that fashion, for which I am thankful. But how many times have we not been willing to confront a brother out of fear of either losing the friendship or of that person taking offense? One of the biggest compliments I’ve received from one of my pastors was that I was “teachable.” This wasn’t always the case. But I’ve learned that if my objective is to be more like Christ, then I have to learn how to receive correction and be willing to be confronted myself.

The reason that one of my pastors knows I’m teachable is that he’s rebuked me a few times. There have been things that friends and pastors have called me on that I simply needed to own up to. A few months ago my buddy John Rinehart wrote a letter rebuking me for not taking my leadership position of our Grace Group (home bible study) seriously. My initial reaction was to get defensive and search for things to throw back at him even if those things might not be true. After taking a deep breath and objectively looking at what he was trying to tell me, I understood that he was looking out for my best interest and the interest of our Grace Group. He had my back because he was looking out for my character and soul. The Apostle Peter says:

“You younger men, likewise, be subject to your elders; and all of you clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, for GOD IS OPPOSED TO THE PROUD, BUT GIVES GRACE TO THE HUMBLE. Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you at the proper time, casting all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you” (1 Peter 5:5-8 – italics added NASB).

Click here for part II.