It’s a Girl!

Disclaimer: If you’re looking for a boring blog that writes the same cookie-cutter type of responses to typical life events in typical fashion then this blog isn’t for you. I’m giving my honest thoughts, feelings and reactions at the exact moment they happen. If you think I’m a jerk, you’re probably right but at least I won’t be boring.

On our way to the ultrasound I was pretty nervous at what the results might be. I wore blue as I was rooting for a boy. My wife needed to have some blood drawn first before the ultrasound. As she headed into the office, I was in the waiting room still a nervous wreck. The Anderson Show was on the TV in the waiting room and the topic was Mothers entering their baby girls in thousand dollar beauty pageants. I thought to myself, “This isn’t a good sign” for my hope of having a boy.

After my wife finished getting her blood drawn we started walking towards the ultrasound office but decided to use the bathrooms beforehand. The bathrooms were unisex. When I opened the door the toilet seat was up. I thought, “Only a guy would leave the toilet seat up” this might be a good sign that I’m having a boy. As you could see, I was grasping for straws.

Finally arriving to the ultrasound room the technician turned on the monitor and I immediately asked her, “Is that a penis?!?” As she moved the device around, checking out the baby I was desperately looking for the child’s junk. After a few minutes of searching the technician typed the words on the screen, “It’s a g-i-r-l!” I said to myself “Sh*t!” After the ultrasound was over, I had to immediately call my sister and let her know the gender or she would have ripped my heart out. When she was informed we’re having a girl she said, “Aw, another me.” I thought a trip to BevMo was needed.

It’s no secret that I wanted a boy, first. There are several reasons for this but I’ll just mention three. First, he would have been able to help me protect my daughter from horny teenagers or any wholesome guy for that matter (to me they’re the same). Second, I’m a basketball nut and I wanted a boy who is also a basketball nut. I don’t think it’s fair my sister has a 2-year-old boy who is a basketball nut, already. It’s just not. Finally, after the boy was born I was going to play “Circle of Life” from the Lion King soundtrack. That song works better with a boy. Now I’m not sure what song to play. I’m at a loss.

Where Do We Go From Here?

Having a baby is an exciting and life-changing event. At least that’s what I’m told. I’m not saying I’m not excited but it hasn’t truly hit me yet. Work is still work, the dog is still the dog, and the Lakers still need to make a trade. Nothing has really changed except my wife’s taste buds.

Where do we go from here? I had goals for a potential son to achieve but I hadn’t thought about goals for a girl. I’m fairly positive my wife has some in mind. Raising a child isn’t supposed to be mapped out in its’ entirety. If it is, usually you end up with quite the dysfunctional individual. I think I have enough dysfunction by myself- we don’t need anymore.

There are only a couple things I do know with certainty. First, I’ll be spending a lot of money in the areas of Prom(s), shopping/accessories, and a wedding. You know, all the things that will delay my retirement. Second, I will dislike anyone who wants to marry my daughter no matter how good at basketball he is. Beyond that it’s all a shot in the dark. In short, I have no idea where we go from here. But isn’t that part of the fun? It’s not stressing me out (yet).

Perspective

You know what comforts me? My friends. Almost all my close friends, who have children, have had a girl first. Initially they were a little apprehensive as well (if they were being honest). But once their little girl came into their lives they had an immediate change of heart. They looooooooovvvvvvvvvvveeeeeee their little girl and don’t feel like they’ve missed out on anything. I’m confident I’ll feel the same way. One of my mentors at Biola adopted a couple of girls a few years ago. He says having girls has “affirmed his masculinity” more than anything else, including being proficient in sports (I’m skeptical of this). His reasoning is when men have girls it softens them in the areas which need to be softened (e.g., personal pride, ego, self-centeredness, etc.) and it brings out areas which men were meant for (e.g., protector, provider, leader, etc.).

I’ve often thought of what having a son would mean to me. I would look at him and wonder what I might’ve been if I had a good father and all of the pain and suffering that could’ve been avoided with simply having a father present in my life. It would mean being a man my son could trust, and using the wisdom and experience of my life to help shape him into a man. Basically, having a son would mean me in a parallel universe with a father who cared. I know my flaws, moronic tendencies, and all the emotional heartache that comes with them. I’ve often wondered, “Would I still be as scarred had I been given a father who cared?” Having a son would answer that question for me. It would also give me the opportunity to be a father to him in much the same way I longed for a father myself.

Instead, I’m having a daughter. I have no doubts having a daughter will absolutely change my world. This is what the Lord has for me and I’m okay with that. The Lord knows best and being a father to a son is not in the cards (for now). But if my daughter is anything like my wife and my mom, she’s going to be an amazing woman with an amazing story. A wonderful story I get to be a part of. And as my wife tells me, if our daughter has my butt I’ll have to buy a gun and learn how to use it quickly.