Happy Anniversary 4.0

When I think about 4 years I think about a graduating class, a presidential term/election and the entire BS involved, about the time it takes to finish a bachelor’s degree, the Olympics, leap years, an eclipse and the World Cup.

This particular 4th year is extremely special and I can’t believe it’s arrived. It’s my 4th wedding anniversary already. The phrase “Where does the time go?” was a weightless cliché that had very little meaning to me. I use to think that’s what old people use to say. Now I’m catching myself saying it all the time. I’m sure I’ll be punching out my daughter’s boyfriend in no time.

But back to the matter at hand, while it’s my 4th anniversary I have no clue what to buy my wife. My father-in-law told me, “You’re not suppose to admit that, especially in front of your wife.” Translation: Pretend you have a plan even though you don’t. If there’s anything I’ve learned about my wife in our four years of marriage is that she knows I have no plan. Yet, I’m not worried, things seem to always get done.

This year there’s a new element to our marriage, namely, having a beautiful child. I’ve grown to appreciate my wife even more after watching her take such good care of our little girl. It makes me want to take better care of her. It takes intentionality to make sure my wife feels loved and not taken for granted. It’s something I have to remind myself from time to time because it’s natural human tendency to coast or to relax because we feel like we deserve it.

Yes it’s been more work but it’s healthy work, much like a workout at the gym. I love my wife and I feel truly blessed by her. You’ll have to wait if you want to know what I’ll be getting her for a gift but a Happy Marriage to all of you while you wait.

The Real Steel: Superman Trailer Analysis

I was at work when the new Man of Steel trailer was released and couldn’t wait to get home to watch it. My buddy Bryan called me during my lunch break to tell me about it and wanted my thoughts regarding a couple of other movies. Since I hadn’t seen the new Man of Steel trailer yet, I couldn’t really say anything. Now that I’ve seen it a couple of times (more like 27 times), I do have some thoughts on it.

After watching it for the first time, I was speechless. There are so many elements going on, and it has an entirely different tone from any other Superman movie ever made. I had to just gather my thoughts for a while in order to make them coherent. In short, it’s amazing.

I have tons of thoughts on the potential of the movie and where it could go and how it may lead into the Justice League movie in 2015. I will only mention a few thoughts on the recent Man of Steel trailer.

A Gift and A Curse

Wait! There’s a downside to Superman’s superpowers? It’s rarely ever been explored with a serious and grounded approach, but it seems like this movie will do just that. How does a child with superhuman abilities handle growing up? It’s not like going through puberty. Furthermore, how do parents handle rising a child with superpowers? It’s clear the Kent parents will play a prominent role in this film. The trailer seems to give two hints as to this. We see Jonathan Kent (Kevin Costner) playing the protective father, telling Clark, “You have to keep this side of yourself a secret.” Later, Martha Kent (Diana Lane) acting as Clark’s anchor in the world, says, “Listen to my voice. Pretend it’s an island. Can you see it?”

Uncertainty and Loneliness

Superman has usually been portrayed as a black and white character. He knows right from wrong and always does what’s right. In Bryan Singer’s 2006 Superman Returns he made a failed attempt to have Superman struggle with Lois Lane’s new relationship. Really? That’s the best you could do? Singer made Lois’ character so angry at Superman it was difficult to like her.

In a new approach, Zack Snyder’s film shows that it hasn’t been always cut and dry for Superman. Imagine how lonely it must’ve been growing up, trying to find an identity, realizing you’re an alien from another plant that blew up, and you’re adopted to boot. How does a person work through all those issues while maintaining a sense of right and wrong?

We have Lift-off

The shot of Superman preparing to take flight with the stirring of the snow and rocks is a nice artistic flourish on how Superman interacts with the environment. Snyder has always been great with visual effects (300, Watchmen) and it’ll be interesting to see what new elements he brings to his big budget film.

Krypton

No other Superman film has emphasized much of Superman’s home plant, Krypton, or his biological parents. I’m guessing Krypton will be featured more in this film. If you’re going to cast Russell Crowe as Jor-El (Superman’s biological father), I’m sure it’ll more than cameo.

This is good news. Shouldn’t we feel something when a plant filled with people blows up? How would we feel if Earth blew up and we were the only survivor? These are legitimate questions and questions worth exploring.

The Modern World

At the end of the trailer, Superman says, “My dad was convinced the world would reject me.” Superman has always been portrayed as a celebrated and beloved superhero. In reality, however, how would we feel knowing that there is a being on our earth with superhuman powers? Wouldn’t that make you a little nervous? How do we know we could trust him? Why would he want to protect us? What are his motives? What does he want?

Superman in the modern (real) world wouldn’t be celebrated or beloved but feared. It’ll be interesting to see how he deals with an enemy that threatens earth while the earth views him as a threat.

Conclusion

I’m excited for the film. I’m sure they’ll be great action sequences, but it’s also the character drama involved that gives the film substances and makes it much more compelling. June can’t come quickly enough.

The Days of Shrek 4 Past

I enjoyed the Shrek series. The best one (in my humble opinion) was the first one. The third one was the weakest installment, but the fourth one was surprisingly fun because it touches on a theme that I believe most men go through but rarely ever admit to it. Why am I even mentioning this? As I continue to blog, there are phrases I hope to embed with meaning so that I can use them regularly and not have to spend time explaining what the phrase means. So, my first submission for this endeavor is the phrase “Shrek 4.” I am hoping that after reading this blog, when I say, “I’m having a Shrek 4 day” or “It’s a Shrek 4 moment,” you’ll know exactly what I mean.

First let me explain the meaning of Shrek 4. It’s basically the premise of the movie, which is here:

In the present, Shrek has steadily grown tired of being a family man and celebrity among the local villagers, leading him to yearn for the days when he felt like a "real ogre". He takes his family to Far Far Away to celebrate his children's first birthday. Shrek gets annoyed when the three little pigs eat the kids' cake along with most of the other party food. A boy named Butterpants (who is said to be a "big fan" of Shrek) demands that Shrek roar. After he lets out a frustrated roar the entire crowd cheers, reinforcing his belief that no one considers him to be a true ogre. This coupled with the fact that the birthday cakes were decorated with a "cute" Ogre named "Sprinkles" finally makes Shrek snap and he smashes the new birthday cake in front of everyone, and then walks out in anger. He and Fiona argue outside about his reaction, which ends with Shrek rashly agreeing that he was happier before he'd rescued her.

Of course the term “real ogre” is an allegory of a “real man.” Being “domesticated” can feel somewhat neutering. Let me be clear, I’m not about to use worldly and secular ideas to define masculinity. But on the surface there are some legitimate things we can glean from the basic premise of the movie. Another disclaimer I would like to add is that even though I have “Shrek 4 moments,” it does not mean I don’t want to be married or be a family man. I love my wife and child. Okay? Okay.

When I was single there were tons of things I enjoyed. For instance, there was the freedom to basically do whatever I wanted when I wanted to do it, which is not always a good thing. Also, I didn’t have to worry about being a “Spiritual Leader” in the home because, well, I didn’t have a home or a family to worry about. I went to church weekly, read my Bible daily, and made sure I spent a portion of the day praying. Spiritual disciplines came easy because I wasn’t on a schedule. I got to it when I got to it.

Now that I have a full time job, a boatload of bills, and a wife and child to look after, things are not quite so easy. Do I sometimes long for the days of being a “real ogre?” I’d be lying if I said, “no” but the emphasis is on sometimes. If you did see Shrek 4 you’ll remember by the end of the movie [Spoiler Alert]: Shrek realizes he wouldn’t trade the family life for anything [End Spoiler]. Yes, there are moments we go through wishing we could “just hang out with the guys” or just have time to ourselves. But at the end of the day, there’s nothing that beats coming home to a family. It’s a different level of enjoyment. For example, when you were a kid you thought spinning around in circles and getting yourself dizzy was the best thing ever. When you get older, you realize there are other enjoyments in life that pale in comparison. Imagine seeing a 30-yr-old spinning around in circles in order to get himself dizzy and crying out “Wee, wee, weeeeeeeeeeee!” There are two questions that would come to mind. First would be questioning the guy’s competency. The second question I can’t put in this blog, but you get the picture.

There are more mature enjoyments in life. The challenge becomes in redefining what a “real ogre” is. So what if I can’t devote myself to becoming a better basketball player? So what if I have less time to goof off? Yes, more responsibilities tend to add stress and pressure, but these are good things. Admittedly, too much of stress and pressure can drive you over the edge. That’s why we should allow a little time to ourselves in order to “hang out” and let our hair down. Yes, I get stressed out with the responsibilities of being a family man and sometimes long for the days of Shrek 1. But just like at the end of Shrek 4, family is really what matters.

Holiday Cheer 2012

Well, we're in the middle of the holidays and Christmas is almost here. I love the holidays even though I have yet to think of a good gift idea for my wife and it's stressing me out. Besides being a dead-beat and procrastinating I've managed to take a little time and reflect on all the goodness of the Lord has provided, namely, blessing us with a wonderful child.

As you know, my mom is no longer around. My crazy older sister burned every single bridge like a pyrotechnic on steroids. My younger sister, Vicky, goes with her husband's family each year as I go to my wife's side of the family each year. Sadly, this year will be a little different. There's usually several people at my in-law's but this year everyone will be scattered across the world and Becky, the youngest, will be in Japan (what do they do for Christmas away). I'm predicting my in-law's depression will hit an all-time high to the point where I'm considering putting them on suicide watch.

Maybe having at least one child, my wife, and one grandchild, Joelle, relatively close will cheer them up a bit. We just got our Christmas tree and my wife put up the Christmas decorations, "it's starting to look like Christmas!" Here are some photos of Joelle enjoying her first December.

"Hey, these lights are pretty cool!"

"So this is what a Christmas tree smells like. Nice."

I've mentioned before we had a fake tree growing up. I didn't mind it because it wasn't messy, it was easier to clean up, and it was cheap because we could use it for several years. But now that I'm older I appreciate the fresh pine smell and the "realness" of a Christmas tree. I hope the pine will inspire Joelle to enjoy the outsides a little more.

"Hello Buddy. I don't understand why my dad hates you. You seem really nice."

Joelle meets Buddy. Well, she met him 4 months ago but is only now starting to notice the flea bag. It's actually endearing since Buddy has been great with kids and is the ideal family dog. Actually, having a real Christmas tree, a child, and a dog makes me feel more American. I'm sure everything will work out for the in-laws. Maybe this year they'll be open to drinking. If that's the case, the first round is on me!

Route 66

This past month my mom would’ve turned 66 years old. Truthfully, I don’t visit my mother’s gravesite that often but I think about her all the time. My thoughts about my mom haven’t lessened over the years. On the contrary, they’ve only grown as I enter into different life stages. As you get older, your appreciation for your parents grows, but when you start having your own children the appreciation takes a leap to a whole other level. You think to yourself, “How did they ever do this?” I certainly feel that way, and my baby girl is only four months old. Plus, my wife does most of the work.

When my mom first went home to be with the Lord, I never really gave much thought to the question, “I wonder if she knows what’s going on here on earth?” because she was in the presence of Jesus and probably didn’t care. As more time passes, I do wonder about that question more and more. Specifically, I think to myself, “I wonder if she knows I’m a teacher?” because that’s the career she always wanted for me. “I wonder if she knows I married someone she would absolutely love?” “I wonder if she knows I have a child?” “I wonder if she knows the Lakers got Dwight Howard?” “Would she be mad we didn’t hire Phil Jackson?” Yes. These are the things I think more about as time passes.

Upon reflection, I can only conclude that you can never show your parents enough appreciation. There’s a limited amount of time we have but we don’t live that way. We often live in a way where we think there’s an eternity before our “due date” so we put things off and approach life with the “I’ll get to that later” mentality. It’s just in our nature to procrastinate. Why do you think we are most productive when we have deadlines and the least productive when we have the most time? We’re always complaining about not having enough time. Enough time for what exactly? When we desire “more time” it usually doesn’t involve deepening our relationships. It usually means more time to get more stuff done. When was the last time we thought, “I should call my parents and let them know how much I love them just because”? How much do you think that would mean to your parents? How much do you think that would mean to you if your child called you in their adult years and voiced their love and appreciation?

My mom spent her time praying for everyone she could. She prayed for others to come to know Christ, especially Thai people. She prayed I would find a wife and called me practically every day to see if I had made progress. She spent time serving her community, drove around and picked people up for Bible study, and attended church several times a week. She sure was an example to me.

Recently, I’ve been thinking how she would be as a grandmother to Joelle. My mom would probably be over the house every day until eventually I would have to tell her to stop coming or I’d let the dog loose on her. Without fail, every time she would visit, she would come bearing gifts for little Joelle to the point where I would become jealous and start demanding she buy me a new pair of Kobe(s).

Often, when I reflect on my relationship with my mom, I do have some regrets. I wish I showed her how much I felt loved by her. Aren’t that what most parents want for their children, that their children know they’re loved? The wonderful life I have now is all God’s doing but my mom was the vehicle by which He chose to bless me. She sacrificed much of her life in order for my sister and me to have a better life, but she never saw the fruit of her labor in the form of our current families. She would absolutely love being a grandma and even happier undoing the discipline we teach our kids by spoiling them rotten. Even though I can’t tell or show her how much I appreciated everything she had done for me, the least I can do is to provide the same kind of love and care for my family. I’m sure that’s what she would’ve wanted.

A Night At The Staples Center

November 27, 1916 was Chick Hearn’s birthday. If you don’t know who Chick was click here.
Basically, he was a legend. For us old-timers who grew up listening to him announce Laker games, it’s still a little weird to not hear his voice during Laker games. Last night at the game, the Laker organization decided to honor him by passing out bobbleheads of Chick (it’s my first bobblehead).

No matter how many games I attend, I walk up to the entrance at the Staples Center with eager anticipation. I already know how they do the introduction of the starting lineup but I hate missing it and want to see every time. Okay, so we lost the game to a Pacers team missing one of their best players (Danny Granger). Kobe had the flu but found the strength to drop 40pts and grab 10 rebounds and we still lost. The lost makes us 7-8 and Laker Nation, in typical fashion, is freaked out and demanding Pau Gasol be traded to improve the team. I just feel a need to address Laker Nation with our team’s current state (especially for you who have a cable company that hasn’t struck a deal with Time Warner Cable yet).

Yes the team looked awful last night and has looked awful overall in this first month of the season. The expectations were high when we got Dwight Howard and Steve Nash during the summer for a broken Bynum and some measly draft picks we never use anyway. So let me address some things to help calm down my fellow Laker brethren.

The Bench

The bench is awful!!! Or at least that’s what everyone has been saying. I get it. They’re an easy target for the media and the fans. But let’s take a closer look.

Jodie Meeks was signed to provide some outside shooting but currently has an atrocious PER of 7.31 (the league average is 15) and is only shooting 31% from the field overall. Last night he came in the 2nd quarter and played a measly 3 minutes and they ran zero plays for him. Why are you going to bring in a shooter and not try to get him some shots? D’Antoni started playing Meeks with Kobe in order to open up more shots for him, which was working. However, what happens when Kobe needs to sit and Meeks takes his place? If you don’t run plays for him or set some screens he’s not going to do much for you offensively. Furthermore, if you’re playing him 3 minutes at a time you’re not building his conference much either. Meeks will be fine once Nash gets back because they’ll be another play-making guard on the floor at all times whether it’s Kobe or Nash. In addition, we’re going to need him if we’re going to make a run in the playoffs so it’s imperative we get him going and Nash will do that.

Jordan Hill is a high-energy guy who is quietly having a solid season. He’s far and away our best bench player. Hill rebounds like crazy and can make short-range Js. I would’ve loved if we kept Matt Barns and have those two play the 3 and 4 for our 2nd unit and just bring monster energy because we are sorely lacking in that department. Yet D’Antoni doesn’t play him much because Hill fell out of favor with him while they were in New York. D’Antoni needs to get over it and I believe he will.

Antawn Jamison – much was made about signing Jamison because “We finally have some bench scoring!” Truthfully, I didn’t expect much from him this year. Sure he had a couple of great games in Memphis and at Dallas. But too much was made about him averaging 17pts per game last year in Cleveland. He played 33 minutes per game on a crappy team jacking up 16 shot attempts per game but only shooting 40% from the field overall. There’s no way he’s getting that type of playing time here and he’ll be lucky to get 16 shot attempts in a month with Kobe/Dwight/Pau on the team. It’s also strange both Mike Brown and D’Antoni play him at the 3 instead of using him as a stretch-4. The two games against Memphis and Dallas last week he shot a sizzling 63% from the field and averaged 17.5 pts and 11 rebounds. Did you know what position he played? You guessed it . . . stretch-4. This isn’t rocket science.

Darius Morris is a nice young player. You might look at his awful PER 8.43 and simply write him off. Yes, he’s done some foolish things on the court. Here’s the different between using Morris as the back-up PG instead of Steve Blake when Nash gets back. With young players they’re going to make mistakes but they’ll learn from it and get better. Confidence is always the key for young players. Steve Blake is who he is. When he makes a mistake he’s not going to improve from it. He’s already hit ceiling as a player and is already declining. Why not let the young guy develop? He’s already a better defender than Blake and we could use some youth on this team.

Pau Gasol

Laker Nation wants him traded (what else is new?). It’s been recent revealed Pau has been playing with tendinitis in both knees thanks to Mike Brown's long practices. If you’ve ever had tendinitis anywhere on your body you know it’s painful. This explains his lack of aggression on the court. If you watch him run you could see it’s painful for him. I’m not making excuses for him it’s just a reality of his physical condition. While D’Antoni was in New York he drove Amar’e Stoudemire to the ground so I’m a little worried he’ll do the same with the starters here in LA.

I love Pau. He helped us win two titles. I know he’s one of the most talented big-man in the league, which makes his inconsistent play maddening. But I’m not ready to trade him. Before thinking about that I would consider moving him to the bench as a back-up center. He can’t guard stretch-4(s) and the league is filled with them now. Pau needs the ball in the post and it’s frustrating watching one of the best post players tip-toeing around the perimeter wondering what to do and jacking up 3s because, well, that’s all he could do.

If he were to come off the bench as a back-up center we could play the offense through him and he could get it in the post, which does 3 things for us. First, Pau will be more effective getting the ball closer to the basket. He’s not getting it in the post with Dwight on the floor. Second, he would strengthen the bench and open up everything for everyone else, Meeks would benefit from this. Finally, reducing Pau’s minutes would allow him to heal and keep him fresh for the playoffs. Furthermore, what back-up center in this league could contend with Pau? I’m not ready to trade him. What are we going to get back anyway? He still has $38.3M left on his contract. Who’s taking him?

Of course the media will make it look like a demotion but Pau shouldn’t take it that way. He’d be free to play more to his strengths instead of being exploded for his weaknesses.

Conclusion

There are some legitimate concerns with the team. We still have to wash the Mike Brown stench off of us. I’m also worried about D’Antoni is playing the starters way too many minutes and his inability to think outside the box (moving Pau to the bench, playing Jordan Hill more, not playing Jamison at the 3, etc). But overall, the season doesn’t really start until we get Nash back. I could totally see us have a 17-3 run over 20 games late in the season to grab the #2 seed in the West. Will we win the title? That’s still a question mark but despite the current state of the team, I’m confident will finish the season with a better product that's currently on the floor.

Becky’s Wedding

So Becky got married. I don’t believe it either. It’s not because she’s unattractive. On the contrary, she’s a shorter version of my gorgeous wife. There are two things I just want to point out. First, to me, Becky didn’t seem ready for a commitment like marriage. Before she started dating her husband, Josiah, she had been in a short relationship. People get in and out of relationships all the time, so that’s not a big deal. However, the issue with this particular relationship was that you could smell the stench of horse feces off of this guy a mile away, and she didn’t pick up on it. In her defense, none of the other family members did either. Maybe it was because he was white and white people just trust other white people. Whatever. (Also in her defense, she wasn’t the first person, nor will she be the last, to have one of those, “what was I thinking?” relationships- myself included).

Second, I was the only person who called the guy’s bluff. You know the thing that makes Becky really upset? It wasn’t about the relationship not working out, but that I was absolutely right from day one. It burns her, and I enjoy that.

So you could imagine when she started dating Josiah about 20 minutes after her relationship ended with this “other guy,” I naturally had some reservations. Interestingly enough, he was also white. And you know what? That’s right, you guessed it; the family immediately embraced him. Did anyone ask for my opinion? Of course not, I’ve only had a 100% track record. So what do I know?

I don’t know Josiah all that well, but I did have one conversation with him. And you know what? That’s all it took for him to earn my approval (not that anyone was asking for it). The conversation was in stark contrast when compared to the “other guy.” I saw genuine character in both what he was communicating and the way in which he was communicating it. He had clear purpose about what he wanted to do with his life and articulated his vision like a man who actually had given it some thought. The conversation was pleasant and refreshing. As long as he remembers he’s son-in-law #2 things should be fine.

Fast forward to the wedding day: Josiah and Becky decided to have their wedding reception the same place we had our wedding. I remember it like it was yesterday. My wife and I had a nice swing dancing routine for our first dance because we didn’t want the 7-minute slow song hug that starts getting awkward after 2-mintues. Each of my groomsmen gave an excellent speech, and Becky had an epic emotional meltdown before anyone even handed her the microphone. It was good memories all around.

Now I’m sitting at my table enjoying the moment holding my baby girl while I watch my wife give the wedding toast (she did an excellent job). Then it hits me, I have a child and my wife’s little sister is becoming a woman right before my eyes. All of these memories of Becky start flooding into my mind. Like the first time I picked up Katie for a date and saw Becky who basically looked like a smaller version of Katie with braces and the raspy voice of person whose been smoking for 40 years. I also thought of all the immature rants and emotional meltdowns that didn’t involve having to give a wedding speech. I remember hearing all her complaints about things that were insignificant and wondering if she would ever “get it.”

Flashing back to my table at the reception: Becky was a beautiful bride and looked like the woman she had grown into. My in-laws never had a doubt she would someday “get it.” Maybe that’s the kind of unconditional love and patience I’ll need to give my daughter. Maybe kids from strong Christian families should be given the same amount of grace as those who grew up in broken homes. Maybe maturity can’t be rushed but only nurtured, like it was for me. Maybe there’s a lesson in all of this for me.

Anyway, there is a sense of excitement I feel for my sister-in-law. There’s also a genuine happiness that she found a good man (even though nobody asked for my opinion). Perhaps the most exciting aspect of it all… She’s going to be stationed in Japan for 3 years and the prospect of Becky in a foreign country should give way to plenty of source material for comedic relief.