Saturday, June 15, 2013

Father’s Day- “The Wife” Blog


For the first time ever in The Jammer's Blog history we have a guest blogger. My wife! She wanted to share her perspective on this year's Father's Day weekend. Thanks honey for taking the time to write and guest blogging.

It’s Father’s Day this weekend. For me, this day is a day of double celebration. I was (and still am) very blessed to have been raised by a wonderful father. My dad was loving, caring, and involved in our lives. I can still remember the days as a little girl when he would blow dry my hair for me on Saturday night in preparation for looking nice on Sunday mornings. I can remember taking trips with him to Home Depot where he would let us ride on the big flat bed carts until they got too full with supplies. Around Christmas time, my dad loaded our family up in the car, took us to Thrifty’s, and then cruised neighborhoods where we got to look at all the Christmas lights while enjoying our ice cream. During our years in Awana, Dad very patiently helped us design, cut, and paint our cars for the annual race. When we started playing sports in junior high and high school, my dad was on the sideline, cheering us on (and sometimes sharing his opinions about the games with the referees. ☺) In many ways, my Dad was simply “there” for us. Although I have no doubt that we drove him nuts at times, he never made us feel like a nuisance. Instead, my dad lovingly welcomed us into his everyday life and inserted himself into ours.

Perhaps most importantly, my dad led our family well. His love for my mom was never in doubt. We used to cringe as kids when we watched them kiss and hug, but I realize now, that those moments were very important in building within us a sense of security in their relationship as well as an example for how a husband and wife should function. My dad honored my mom, and demanded that we do the same. My dad led us spiritually as a family. He initiated Bible reading and prayer each night. He lovingly disciplined us, administering spankings when necessary followed by a conversation in which he reiterated his love for us despite our disobedience. In all these ways, my dad gave us a picture of a heavenly Father who loves in much the same way. I am still so grateful for my dad!

This year, Father’s Day has brought on new meaning for me. I not only have the privilege of celebrating with my own dad, but now, I get to celebrate with Junior. Watching Junior embrace the role of fatherhood has been such a joy. I can still recall the day, almost a year ago, when he stood in the delivery room, playing “Circle of Life” on his iphone while my mom held Joelle. Yes, he really did that. ☺ In the months since that time, Joelle has grown by leaps and bounds both physically and emotionally, and we’ve had to grow with her. Junior has been wonderful at embracing the role of father. We both certainly have a lot to learn, and it hasn’t all been easy, but watching my husband lovingly care for our little girl has made me fall even more in love with him.

Junior has a wonderful sense of humor (as I’m sure many of you know), and he does a great job of bringing that into his role as father. When Joelle used to complain about getting her face wiped after meals, he simply turned it into a game with funny noises and quick swipes. What was once a battle became a fun father-daughter interaction. As I have passed off kid’s book for Junior to read to her while I prepare dinner, I often find myself laughing as I listen in on the storytime. Let’s just say Junior has a wonderful imagination, and the storyline often sounds quite different than the one I remember reading from the same book.

As Joelle grows, it has been fun to see the way that Junior takes pleasure in interacting with her more and more- taking her for rides in her favorite green car, tickling her into hysterics on the floor, letting her climb all over him in bed when we wake him up in the morning, watching NBA games together (although Joelle doesn’t last for very long), and kissing her sweetly for bed each night. (The smile she gets on her face each time this happens melts my heart). Even with Joelle still as young as she is (and not very willing to sit still for long), Junior has begun to lead us in family Bible reading and prayer, knowing that these habits that we build as a family will be so important to her spiritual growth.

If you know Junior’s story, you know that his earthly fathers were far from ideal, even according to worldly standards. It still saddens me to think that he grew up without the love and support of a father. However, we have a good God of grace, and I love that Junior’s story of redemption is continuing as he takes on the role of fatherhood. I don’t expect him to be perfect (as I’m sure he already knows that I’m not a perfect mom). I know that we both have a lot to learn as parents and probably many more mistakes to make. However, I have great hope as I watch Junior develop as a father. He has surrounded himself with good, godly men who speak into his life and will be instrumental in helping him develop and holding him accountable in his roles as both husband and father. Most importantly, Junior knows his heavenly Father and seeks to honor him in the way that he loves and leads our family. I know that He who began a good work in Junior will perfect it until the day of Christ. (Philippians 1:6). I am so grateful that I get to be the woman who shares the journey with him!

Junior, I love you. Thank you so much for caring for “your girls” so well. We are blessed by you, and Lord willing, look forward to many more Father’s Days to celebrate you.

Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Coffee & Camaraderie Part 2 of 2

For Part 1 click here.

Reason (1) We believe we are sooooooooooooooooooo busy we just don’t have the time for it. I say “believe” because if we really wanted to we could set aside time pretty easily if we truly looked at our schedule. If the president of the United States has time to fill out his NCAA basketball tournament bracket we probably have time to make a phone call. Basically, we’re really not that busy. I’m not talking about weekly coffee conversations or phone calls but once every couple of weeks or once a month? We really can’t spare that to connect with friends?

Reason (2) For some friendships, it’s just not worth the effort. There are certain friendships where no matter how long it’s been since you’ve last talked you simply pick up where you last left off. For others, after some time of absence there’s a sense you’re just not that close anymore. Therefore, it’s really not worth the effort to stay in contact.

Reason (3) Laziness: Let’s just be real. Some people aren’t busy at all but are simply down-right lazy. For those of you too lazy to connect with your friends what kind of friend are you? Relationships take work and responsibly but it’s all worth it because we are created to be relational beings.

Reason (4) Out of sight out of mind: If you don’t see the person you really don’t think about that person. It’s normal for people to think mostly about what’s in front of them. Maybe we should spend more time daydreaming?

Whatever your reason is for not making more of an effort to connect with friends on a meaningful level, just know that it’s lame. My buddy Chris Hunt sent me a text message yesterday saying:

I’m sitting in the 3rd day of class with 3 instructors who have been divorced at least once. Tell your wife you love her and that you’re thankful for her. Make time for a date and love on her . . . praying for you.

That’s what you call a true friend. My wife would absolutely want me to make time to spend with Chris. I’m not talking about making time to go drinking and fill your time with non-sense. I’m talking about making time for friends who will truly make you a better person because they care about the state of your soul. And if you don’t have time to care for your own soul then what do you have time for?

Monday, June 3, 2013

Coffee & Camaraderie Part 1 of 2




When I get up in the morning my lovely wife usually has a cup of coffee waiting for me. Do I really need that cup of coffee? No. I don’t get headaches when I don’t drink coffee but I have a cup anyway because it’s comforting in the morning. My body usually feels like a slab of concrete getting out of bed and every joint in my body is screaming curse words at me. So when I sip that warm cup of coffee it’s a soft blanket over my soul. It’s comforting. That’s why I have a cup. You know what else is comforting? Camaraderie.

I had the opportunity to catch up with Andre, an old Bible college friend, a couple of weeks. We met for coffee and talked about everything we’ve been learning and what the Lord has been doing in our lives. It was a couple of hours of great fellowship. I always leave reflecting on things Andre talks about. He impacts my life every time we talk. We always say, “We need to do this more often,” which is true. It’s difficult given our life stage. We’re no longer goofing off at Bible college with a full day ahead of us to come up with practical jokes to pull on each other. We’re family men with full-time jobs, bills to pay and lawns to mow.

However, when you really start to reflect on how you spend your time throughout the week, you’ll realize you probably have more time to meet with friends than you think you do. This is what kills me. I’m pretty intentional when it comes to connecting with friend-, whether it’s a phone call, text message, and/or email. Some friends call back some don’t. Some friends take forever to call back some call back quickly. Either way, I keep calling. When I finally get a hold of someone, I don’t give him a guilt trip for not calling me back. I just begin the conversation as though they called me back the next day. What usually happens is that both parties are extremely blessed with the time shared.

So, here’s my question: Why is it so hard to connect with friends you don’t see on a regular basis?

Let's answer this question in Part 2, which will be posted tomorrow.